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01-26-2021, 05:41 PM #31
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01-26-2021, 05:42 PM #32
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01-26-2021, 05:43 PM #33
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01-26-2021, 05:45 PM #34
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01-26-2021, 05:46 PM #35
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01-26-2021, 05:49 PM #36
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01-26-2021, 05:51 PM #37
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01-26-2021, 05:56 PM #38
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01-26-2021, 06:02 PM #39
"Stay Together For The Kids"
It's hard to wake up, when the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted, it's so pathetic, it makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say, the words rot and fall away
If this stupid poem could fix this home, I'd read it every day
So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away
It was mine, so when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost
It's not right
Their anger hurts my ears, been running strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them, it makes no sense at all
I see them everyday, we get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants, and it's what she wants, then why is there so much pain?
So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away
It was mine, so when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost
It's not right
So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away
It was mine, so when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost?
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right
It's not rightFinancial Freedom/Passive Income Crew
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01-26-2021, 06:05 PM #40
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01-26-2021, 06:23 PM #41
Because your situation wasn't a typical breakup.
In many concluded relationships, after the shouting has ended and what Daniel Gilbert has called our psychological immune system has kicked in (permitting us to remember all the not-so-wonderful things about our ex instead of crying our eyes out) there comes a moment of calm and detachment when weโre ready to start over. And with that comes the โWeโll always have Parisโ moment when you actually remember some of the good timesโand youโre okay with the memory. You can pick up a photograph of the two of you without wincing and maybe even smile.
That doesnโt happen with a narcissist.
There is no โWeโll always have Paris" moment because Parisโevery promise he or she made to you, every moment you spent together, everything you ever believed about your relationship and connectionโhas been strafed or burned to the ground.
Youโre not recovering from love lost or even the failure of a marriage, but from warfare.Last edited by katya422; 01-26-2021 at 06:31 PM.
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01-26-2021, 06:26 PM #42
Grades is one thing, but bonding and personality development is another.
That's why I say at least up to 5-7yo; apparently that's the critical time period. Personality disorders are almost always linked to messed up childhoods during this period.๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ถ, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
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01-26-2021, 06:27 PM #43In many concluded relationships, after the shouting has ended and what Daniel Gilbert has called our psychological immune system has kicked in (permitting us to remember all the not-so-wonderful things about our ex instead of crying our eyes out) there comes a moment of calm and detachment when weโre ready to start over. And with that comes the โWeโll always have Parisโ moment when you actually remember some of the good timesโand youโre okay with the memory. You can pick up a photograph of the two of you without wincing and maybe even smile.
That doesnโt happen with a narcissist.
There is no โWeโll always have Paris" moment because Parisโevery promise he or she made to you, every moment you spent together, everything you ever believed about your relationship and connectionโhas been strafed or burned to the ground.
Youโre not recovering from love lost or even the failure of a marriage, but from warfare.
Mine was even worse than just a narcissist. He is a sociopath so thatโs a level above that even more extreme.Last edited by Silencespeaks; 01-26-2021 at 06:45 PM.
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01-26-2021, 06:31 PM #44
Personality disorders are at least partially innate too though. My exโs parents are normal and still together after 50+ years marriage. His sister is normal and has been married 20+ years to a normal guy. She wonโt speak to her brother anymore because of how he is. They are completely different. One normal person with good morals and empathy. And one complete sociopath.
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01-26-2021, 06:36 PM #45
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01-26-2021, 06:48 PM #46
- Join Date: Apr 2011
- Location: Rack City, Bitch, Canada
- Age: 37
- Posts: 2,982
- Rep Power: 30294
Notice what sort of thread automatically summons every female miscer in the western hemisphere?
Now try to convince yourself that they don't have some inherent biological instinct to be constantly scheming in even the most pure and sacred of relationships.They got little baby legs that stand so low
you got to pick 'em up just to say hello.
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01-26-2021, 06:49 PM #47
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01-26-2021, 06:59 PM #48
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01-26-2021, 07:01 PM #49
Aside from having to bury your wife or kid, yeah probably
I know who I am. And after all these years, thereโs a victory in that.
All liberals deserve death
*Proud member of the misc 767 & USA vs. Germany world cup ban
-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner
If you see myself and swoleyo in a thread, remind me to rep him.
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01-26-2021, 07:02 PM #50
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01-26-2021, 07:03 PM #51
Yeah it was a separate point.
If you stay until their adulthood you can give them the best childhood and best adolescence. I really believe that should come before personal pride.
Btw of course itโs not only one spouseโs decision. The other spouse can decide to leave and move in with someone else and you canโt stop that. But as to your own conduct I think itโs best to stay until the kids grow up. With some very limited exceptions like physical abuse.
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01-26-2021, 07:06 PM #52
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01-26-2021, 07:10 PM #53
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01-26-2021, 07:11 PM #54
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01-26-2021, 07:15 PM #55
I believe that you are the only poster who has brought "calculating" into this thread.
I understand your thinking, but it is highly unlikely.
If the two parties involved were capable of being unselfish and treating each other well then they probably wouldn't be in a rush to be divorced, at least while the kids are very young.INTP Crew
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01-26-2021, 08:25 PM #56
A guy I know is went through separation and divorce now and it doesnt look like much fun. He's a Chadlette - Went from living in a home with his 2 daughters and dog, to living by himself in an apartment. Financially it sucks, but getting permission to see your own kids is terrible. Cant even begin to imagine the feels when some dude starts spending time / sleeping over in your home while your daughters are home and you are isolated.
Getting laid is easy asf - it doesn't fill the hole (no pun) of never hearing 'daddy's home' ever again.
I've always said I would walk away with nothing and start over, but I would never be able to replicate the situation I have now. Took the kids & their friends sledding on a whim tonight, dinner was ready when we came home. Nothing is going to duplicate that when you live in two different homes. So do your best and hope for the best.
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01-26-2021, 08:31 PM #57
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01-26-2021, 08:35 PM #58
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01-26-2021, 09:05 PM #59
OP no there are million other things worse, such as terminal illness. Divorce men (and women) can recover, specially if the partner is understanding and mature so the divorce won't be messy. I've seen divorce go as smooth as possible and I've seen chit shows.
^^ This. Kids pick more on subtle behaviours and cues. DO not stay in chit marriages because of kids, but at the same time don't just bail because the FEELz aren't right for 5 minutes, be reasonable.Lifting Crew
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01-26-2021, 09:12 PM #60
Don't give out relationship advice based on your one messy break up, life isn't as bad as it seems. You're just theorising about how people should act and how 50% chance cheating etc etc.
It's normal to see the world as doom and gloom straight after we have a chitty thing happen to us. The world is full of normal happy relationships and u won't hear about it on the Internet - it doesn't make the news, there're no movies about it because from the outside it looks boring...you know just normal people going to work and doing things with their kids....there's nothing wrong with it, and there isn't a whole lot of dopamine rushes involved but that's life, it's not a Netflix blockbuster where someone gets killed in the 5 mins of the first episode.
Take a break from relationship advice and you will feel better and hopefully things improve. srs.
(unless you're the same Indian guy running all Misc female account, in which case Pajeet I will find you).Lifting Crew
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