Matches have pretty much died ³

[Luc1fer]

the redpill to swallow is that height > face

but race > height > face

its the unfortunate reality of dating. online dating at least.

Despite the ongoing hate towards white men, I still think most woman of ethnic backgrounds still deeply prefer that Caucasian persuasion noimsayin

no racist.

I never realized what a blessing it is to be 6'2" until I started actively dating and using tinder srs.

I just think it’s too contrived to use “>” terminology tbh. There’s too many variables and preferences. All you can really say is it’s better to be taller than shorter, especially on apps.

And I’m aware of the 6’2 thing, since I ran that brief experiment on Bumble.

[awwchit2]

I just think it’s too contrived to use “>” terminology tbh. There’s too many variables and preferences. All you can really say is it’s better to be taller than shorter, especially on apps.

And I’m aware of the 6’2 thing, since I ran that brief experiment on Bumble.

No generally speaking, white men do much better compared to other races in online dating.

White men and Hispanic guys are the most sought after.

While asians and indians are the worst off. Too lazy to link srs. It was based off message replies or matches etc.

[awwchit2]

anyways tinder is fukin bs. I remember I remade my tinder last year, after months. set up new pics. I was getting matches like a female srs. I'd go to bed and wake up to like 40 matches/likes. Great noob boosts. I almost hit the 99+ likes before I deleted it. Then subsequently I kept deleting/remaking it. And now I'm pretty sure I'm "shadow banned". same pics and everything.

I'm at only 7 likes after days with a few matches. Same pics and profile. just lol what a joke

How long does it take for this chit to actually reset? Should I keep the same profile? Is there any way to do a completely *new* profile?

[MediocreGains]

the redpill to swallow is that height > face

but race > height > face

its the unfortunate reality of dating. online dating at least.

Despite the ongoing hate towards white men, I still think most woman of ethnic backgrounds still deeply prefer that Caucasian persuasion noimsayin

no racist.

I never realized what a blessing it is to be 6'2" until I started actively dating and using tinder srs.

Dating as a white guy is of course going to be easier in a majority white country, and like everything else, it gets exaggerated in online dating. As for the bolded, no.

[Silencespeaks]

anyways tinder is fukin bs. I remember I remade my tinder last year, after months. set up new pics. I was getting matches like a female srs. I'd go to bed and wake up to like 40 matches/likes. Great noob boosts. I almost hit the 99+ likes before I deleted it. Then subsequently I kept deleting/remaking it. And now I'm pretty sure I'm "shadow banned". same pics and everything.

I'm at only 7 likes after days with a few matches. Same pics and profile. just lol what a joke

How long does it take for this chit to actually reset? Should I keep the same profile? Is there any way to do a completely *new* profile?

Yes just delete the account and make a new account with a new phone number from Google Voice.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

No generally speaking, white men do much better compared to other races in online dating.

White men and Hispanic guys are the most sought after.

While asians and indians are the worst off. Too lazy to link srs. It was based off message replies or matches etc.

Honestly thought asian men are beating Hispanic guys in the dating scene? Maybe it’s just my area. It usually goes black > Asian > white > Hispanic > Arab

[Luc1fer]

No generally speaking, white men do much better compared to other races in online dating.

White men and Hispanic guys are the most sought after.

While asians and indians are the worst off. Too lazy to link srs. It was based off message replies or matches etc.

[DustinTheHuss]

Ouch! I hope you feel better soon and don’t need surgery. I bled out during mine and they had to stop and redo it again a week later because I nearly died.

Mine was done with a good ‘ol fashion fist ������ I was pretty brutally assaulted...

Oh my gosh!!! Beat with a fist? Who beats a woman with a fist??? I hope this was a horrible ex.

Yeah just the tennis court hit me with a dumb face plant. I can't believe I did that after 30+ years of playing tennis. Now I'm missing out on the nice weather.

Do you really not understand why guys lie about height?

Many women (typically more vapid) are obsessed with it, even on this forum y’all bring it up in almost every analysis of a guy.

Oh yeah I totally understand why guys lie about height. I just chuckle about it as I'll meet the guy and he's definitely not 6 feet tall. I really don't care as 2 of the hottest guys I've dated have been 5'6/5'7. Just like women would lie about weight and many lie about age.

I know at one party a woman told another woman about match.com, "you have to take 10 years off of your age, otherwise you ruin it". 10 years???!! I would feel so bad tp lie like that as guys would think I'm still fertile.

The issue gets exaggerated by apps as well. Back in the day, there were two women (I met both of them in real life) who straight up told me on the first date that they preferred tall men. I told both them that from now on, they'll like short men (line worked once, so I figured I use it again, lol). Banged both, and I was even dating one of them for a while. I later found out that one of them was cheating on her boyfriend with me as well. But if I was on some app with my height listed, I'm sure they would've either never seen my profile or have immediately swiped left on me.

They told you that on the first date? WTF. How mean of them.

Yeah when I meet men IRL I obviously don't have the stats and don't really judge on height as much as you do on dating apps where it's listed.

Dating as a white guy is of course going to be easier in a majority white country, and like everything else, it gets exaggerated in online dating. As for the bolded, no.

I think it's easier to date as a white guy.

[MediocreGains]

They told you that on the first date? WTF. How mean of them.

Yeah when I meet men IRL I obviously don't have the stats and don't really judge on height as much as you do on dating apps where it's listed.

It's been 6-7 years now, so I don't even remember how that came up. I don't think I was offended, but it was definitely a sign that they weren't relationship material, lol. The sex was great though.

Edit: Actually, I remember now. Think we were asking each other what our "ideal type" is. Dumb question, but it's one of those fairly cliche "getting to know each other on a first date" question among Koreans. Immediately mentioning height was likely a chit test.

[DustinTheHuss]

It's been 6-7 years now, so I don't even remember how that came up. I don't think I was offended, but it was definitely a sign that they weren't relationship material, lol. The sex was great though.

You're 37 now? Yeah they sound superficial.Who really cares about height that much? There are a lot of ugly guys who are tall, lanky and awkward. Have you been married?

[Luc1fer]

It's been 6-7 years now, so I don't even remember how that came up. I don't think I was offended, but it was definitely a sign that they weren't relationship material, lol. The sex was great though.

Ye my recent ex was never relationship material. I should’ve just banged her and moved on, but I was trying to be more “tolerant” given everyone telling me I’m too strict.

Evidently that girl you banged wasn’t, she cheated on her bf. The red flags are everywhere. I’m guessing they had vapid personalities.

[MediocreGains]

You're 37 now? Yeah they sound superficial.Who really cares about height that much? There are a lot of ugly guys who are tall, lanky and awkward. Have you been married?

I got married in May 2019. Hopefully, will stay that way.

Ye my recent ex was never relationship material. I should’ve just banged her and moved on, but I was trying to be more “tolerant” given everyone telling me I’m too strict.

Evidently that girl you banged wasn’t, she cheated on her bf. The red flags are everywhere. I’m guessing they had vapid personalities.

Yes, but I did catch feelings for both of them, so we've all been there.

[Lunu]

Oh my gosh!!! Beat with a fist? Who beats a woman with a fist??? I hope this was a horrible ex.
.

Was a now former female “friend” believe it or not. It’s a long story, but basically she’s just a lunatic drug user.

[DustinTheHuss]

I got married in May 2019. Hopefully, will stay that way.



Yes, but I did catch feelings for both of them, so we've all been there.

Congrats on getting married! Don't let the Misc. get to you as they talk about the worst here. It all depends on how you two get along.

Ugh about catching feels for vapid personalities. I've done that as well and been burned.

[awwchit2]

Yes just delete the account and make a new account with a new phone number from Google Voice.

Done.

Already have 2 likes in less than 5 minutes.

We'll see if it stays steady.

[DustinTheHuss]

Was a now former female “friend” believe it or not. It’s a long story, but basically she’s just a lunatic drug user.

A female did that??? Strong wtf. I'm so sorry. We had a discussion in SS's main Misc https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...hp?t=179516483 thread about drug users.

[awwchit2]

Done.

Already have 2 likes in less than 5 minutes.

We'll see if it stays steady.

Can confirm. Almost have gotten 30+ likes. I'm also now getting ads for tinder platinum. I would NEVER get platinum ads with my old phone number/******** account.

Weird

So using a new number with Google Voice and a NEW email is probably the way to go for a "hard reset". Seems to work.

[Luc1fer]

I got married in May 2019. Hopefully, will stay that way.

Jelly

Yes, but I did catch feelings for both of them, so we've all been there.

Thanks, makes me feel better

[DustinTheHuss]

Thanks, makes me feel better

I think we are all guilty of catching feels for the wrong people. My 2021 resolution is no more bad guys.

[Luc1fer]

My 2021 resolution is no more bad guys.

Have you introspected on why you're into bad boys? Maybe there's something about the chaos that appeals to you. e.g. triggers high emotion, creates drama and makes you feel alive.

I feel like my "BPD traits" ex created drama where it didn't need to exist, to emulate her chaotic childhood. i.e. a comfort zone.

[DustinTheHuss]

Have you introspected on why you're into bad boys? Maybe there's something about the chaos that appeals to you. e.g. triggers high emotion, creates drama and makes you feel alive.

I feel like my "BPD traits" ex created drama where it didn't need to exist, to emulate her chaotic childhood. i.e. a comfort zone.

Yeah I’ve talked about it in therapy. I believe they understand my eating disorder more as they are addicts. It also has to do with low self esteem -- feeling like I can’t do better.

I’m in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for the eating disorder but I’m not BPD according to the therapist. Interestingly enough, DBT doesn’t look at one’s childhood, unlike most forms of therapy. They focus on how you can handle emotions and distress in a healthy manner, so I don't restrict during the day and then overeat later, or drink, or use some other unhealthy coping mechanism for stress.

[SwimLiftRunGrl]

Dating as a white guy is of course going to be easier in a majority white country, and like everything else, it gets exaggerated in online dating. As for the bolded, no.

Agree with you. I always laugh when I read posts like that one above.

[MediocreGains]

Jelly



Thanks, makes me feel better

The one who was cheating on her bf was 20-21, and the other one was a year older than me. With the 20 year-old, I ignored some red flags that were obvious in hindsight because I made the SS-like mistake of thinking of her as "sweet and innocent" (relatively speaking).

The older one had some "BPD traits" like your ex, and she had a drinking problem on top of them. We had some fun times even though she was a mess and a headache, especially since I was a heavy drinker at the time as well.

I was with the younger one first, and the older one I met a month after things ended with the other. They were both big learning experiences for me in many ways.

[DustinTheHuss]

The one who was cheating on her bf was 20-21, and the other one was a year older than me. With the 20 year-old, I ignored some red flags that were obvious in hindsight because I made the SS-like mistake of thinking of her as "sweet and innocent" (relatively speaking).

The older one had some "BPD traits" like your ex, and she had a drinking problem on top of them. We had some fun times even though she was a mess and a headache, especially since I was a heavy drinker at the time as well.

I was with the younger one first, and the older one I met a month after things ended with the other. They were both big learning experiences for me in many ways.

The first one sounded like a "sloots gonna sloot" situation.

The second one sounded like a codependent type of relationship.

Both relationships sound like learning experiences and similar to ones that Miscers have posted in this sub-forum.

[Luc1fer]

The first one sounded like a "sloots gonna sloot" situation.

The second one sounded like a codependent type of relationship.

Both relationships sound like learning experiences and similar to ones that Miscers have posted in this sub-forum.

Both types are fun in different ways.

Sluts are fun because they're... sluts. They're hyper sexual and are fine with being objectified (go feminism). They're vapid and have low integrity, so you never intend to marry them. The lesson is not to even allow it to get to girlfriend stage, break it off early, or keep distance so you don't catch feels.

BPD types are fun because they adore you. They feed your ego and look up to you. They can't believe how lucky they are to be with you. Again, important to break this off before you catch feels. Break it off at the first sign of BPD type behavior or gaslighting. Don't go back no-matter how tempting it is. Block. NC and stick to it. They will suck you back in otherwise.

[DustinTheHuss]

Both types are fun in different ways.

Sluts are fun because they're... sluts. They're hyper sexual and are fine with being objectified (go feminism). They're vapid and have low integrity, so you never intend to marry them. The lesson is not to even allow it to get to girlfriend stage, break it off early, or keep distance so you don't catch feels.

BPD types are fun because they adore you. They feed your ego and look up to you. They can't believe how lucky they are to be with you. Again, important to break this off before you catch feels. Break it off at the first sign of BPD type behavior or gaslighting. Don't go back no-matter how tempting it is. Block. NC and stick to it. They will suck you back in otherwise.

BPD types also mirror you so that you will like them. I've been through a year of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy groups so I've been around a lot of BPD people. They really suffer from their illness. I was the only one in the groups who could keep a full-time job. They're in and out of work and on disability, have unstable relationships, frequent drug use, suicide threats, cutting...basically all of this stuff I don't do. Most of the women are extremely attractive and charming. I can see how a man can get sucked in but unless they are successful with DBT, the man will just go through a nightmare.

I remember your ex and those texts you posted brought back those memories. She was a challenge, that's for sure.

[NitrogenWidget]

Have you introspected on why you're into bad boys? Maybe there's something about the chaos that appeals to you. e.g. triggers high emotion, creates drama and makes you feel alive.

I feel like my "BPD traits" ex created drama where it didn't need to exist, to emulate her chaotic childhood. i.e. a comfort zone.

my close friend's last GF was like this.
He moved in with her, became a dad to her son.
she was hot as hell also.
but I could see it was wearing on him.
everything would be great and she would look for things to start fights about.
it just pushed him away and turned him off and he hit the point where he would rather jerk off in the shower than have sex.

[Luc1fer]

everything would be great and she would look for things to start fights about.

This repeatedly stood out to me. I even had a term I used, "incidents".

I have several examples, including gaslighting where I felt like I was defending my own sanity.

"wearing on him" is a perfect way to describe it. You feel it wearing away at your self and your boundaries.

Really unhealthy. Thankfully I am a stable person with strong boundaries, and never got broken, but I can imagine a man just breaking down.

I probably would have if I married her and had kids.

[DustinTheHuss]

This repeatedly stood out to me. I even had a term I used, "incidents".

I have several examples, including gaslighting where I felt like I was defending my own sanity.

"wearing on him" is a perfect way to describe it. You feel it wearing away at your self and your boundaries.

Really unhealthy. Thankfully I am a stable person with strong boundaries, and never got broken, but I can imagine a man just breaking down.

I probably would have if I married her and had kids.

She was definitely a gaslighter and made it seem like everything was your fault because you were hesitant to marry her. Then, if I recall correctly, she wanted an expensive engagement ring because her sister had one and a lot of it was to show off on social media. She made it sound like you were the one with all of the problems and she was the reasonable one.

Yes, you are stronger than most men that I know who have been involved with BPD types (she may not have been diagnosed as BPD). Many untreated BPD women cheat, too.

If you married her and had kids, imagine the texts you would get at work when she was home with the kids? If I recall she would freak out when you didn't reply to her right away and text over and over. There's a funny cartoon book for those involved with BPDs that was in the therapist waiting room which showed how they would text and text and text if they didn't hear back from you and assume the worst with, "why aren't you replying to me?" "what did I do wrong?".

My uncle was diagnosed as BPD by the VA right before he died, so it's not just women. Medication wouldn't help him as it was all behavioral. Boy did he put my aunt through the ringer and he lived a shorter life due to his untreated mental illness.

On the flip side they tend to be more feeling and caring than others because of their emotion side is so strong. The cartoon book went into that, too.

[Luc1fer]

She was definitely a gaslighter and made it seem like everything was your fault because you were hesitant to marry her. Then, if I recall correctly, she wanted an expensive engagement ring because her sister had one and a lot of it was to show off on social media. She made it sound like you were the one with all of the problems and she was the reasonable one.

Yes, you are stronger than most men that I know who have been involved with BPD types (she may not have been diagnosed as BPD). Many untreated BPD women cheat, too.

If you married her and had kids, imagine the texts you would get at work when she was home with the kids? If I recall she would freak out when you didn't reply to her right away and text over and over. There's a funny cartoon book for those involved with BPDs that was in the therapist waiting room which showed how they would text and text and text if they didn't hear back from you and assume the worst with, "why aren't you replying to me?" "what did I do wrong?".

My uncle was diagnosed as BPD by the VA right before he died, so it's not just women. Medication wouldn't help him as it was all behavioral. Boy did he put my aunt through the ringer and he lived a shorter life due to his untreated mental illness.

On the flip side they tend to be more feeling and caring than others because of their emotion side is so strong. The cartoon book went into that, too.

Yes BPD traits are typically triggered by abandonment fears from childhood. Her mother was either NPD or BPD and I heard some awful stories.

She went to a therapist though and was not diagnosed with it. You have to meet certain checkboxes to officially be diagnosed, but she clearly carried some of the traits.

One massive difference between her and most BPDs was her ability to admit fault, recognize her own issues and seek therapy. There’s no way I would’ve stuck around otherwise.

She did improve, but not enough to give me confidence long term. Like you said, I imagined life with her at home with the kids; could I trust her to stay calm, do her duties, etc. while I was working? No.. and wouldn’t be fair on my kids tbh if any of those behaviors got passed down. I’d never forgive myself..