Dumped gf for not being able to respect simple boundaries

[RiceBrah93]

-Cliffs down below-

So me and her live in an apartment complex with common areas such as a pool. We were at the pool one day and we met this male neighbor, he seemed alright. Let's just call him Andrew.

Me, my gf and Andrew had a chat and my gf was talking about these courses you can do online and told Andrew if he's interested she'll drop some paperwork about it in his mailbox. Andrew seemed to not GAF but out of politeness just went along with it. She left and I eventually left too

One day we got home, parked in the driveway and Andrew was swimming in the pool minding his business. Our car space is about 20 metres from the pool. My gf got out and yelled out "hey Andrew, how are you?!" to which Andrew replied "good thanks".

My gf then rushed inside mumbled something about going to the pool, I rushed upstairs to get changed and not even a minute later I came down and she was already gone and bolted straight to the pool to talk to Andrew and hand him the papers for these courses. Had a look through the window and she was wearing a short dress literally in a squatting position chatting to Andrew at the edge of the pool.

I just said "alright this is inappropriate but if she can't even carry herself decently in front of other men while having a bf, it's over".

She came back and I asked her what she did, she said she was handing the paperwork to Andrew. I said "you went out of your way to talk to some guy you just met a week ago, giving him schit he clearly doesn't care about while your purposefully excluded me out of it. If I did the exact same thing with a female neighbor you'd accuse me of flirting and trying to cheat".

She said "don't be jealous and insecure, you don't own me". I said "we're over since you can't even respect simple boundaries"

We're technically over now but she's been begging me to stay with her, she apologised for what she did but she still thinks there was nothing inappropriate with her behaviour. So I'm just counting down the days to when I finally move out of this place.

I told her I'm now talking to girls on social media and she got mad and accused me of cheating. I said "hey at least it's only online and not IRL unlike you."

Did I overreact or would you guys have done the same thing?

Cliffs:

-OP had a gf

-OP's GF was behaving inappropriately in front of men she's just met

-OP brings it up, stated his boundaries and his gf got mad and defensive

-OP has self-respect and DUMPS gf.

[Ironmanlet]

also, negged. Obviously.

[BraneyGumble]

Jesus fuking Christ, get a job and a real gf already instead of making up cuck fantasies in your cave.

[129iq]

Is he good looking? Of course she has some interest to go out of her way for him

[RiceBrah93]

Is he good looking? Of course she has some interest to go out of her way for him

Yeah he's not bad looking. If he was some fat miscer, she wouldn't have given af

[Austin317]

Weird situation, seems premature but it might have only been a matter of time until something happened between her and him. Better for you to end it now than you finding prince andrews coom inside her.

Srs.

[RiceBrah93]

Jesus fuking Christ, get a job and a real gf already instead of making up cuck fantasies in your cave.

A cuck would enjoy his gf talking to random men and stay with her. I did the opposite. Cuck

[RiceBrah93]

I cannot make judgments about your personal relationships or the decisions you make regarding them. However, I can provide some insights and advice.

It's understandable that you felt uncomfortable with your girlfriend's behavior, particularly if you perceived it as crossing boundaries or disrespecting your relationship. Communication is important in any relationship, and it's essential to establish and respect boundaries that make both parties feel comfortable and secure.

In this case, it might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings, concerns, and expectations. If you decide to continue the relationship, it's crucial to establish clear boundaries and respect them to avoid similar conflicts in the future.

However, if you feel that the relationship is no longer healthy or fulfilling, it's entirely within your right to end it. Ultimately, only you can determine what is best for you and your well-being.

It's also important to note that jealousy and insecurity are natural human emotions, and it's normal to experience them in relationships. Still, it's essential to address and manage them constructively and avoid projecting them onto your partner or allowing them to control your behavior.

I stated my boundaries politely, she thinks there was absolutely nothing wrong with her behaviour so she obviously doesn't respect my boundaries.

I told her I wouldn't have done that to you with a female neigbor cause you would've lost your mind, she doesn't get it. It's over.

[Duckliver]

I would have started a fight that would have resulted in no longer being able to be in the same room as the other person. I would also not be referring to the other person as anything other than dumb bitch.

[HangingChad]

You made the right call 100%.

[TOUCHEDbyMany]

You need to do some self reflection

Your other Gf had Bpd

And this one probably HPD

there's a common theme here brah.

[RiceBrah93]

You made the right call 100%.

Yep. I'm not sweating that bitch lol.

[RiceBrah93]

You need to do some self reflection

Your other Gf had Bpd

And this one probably HPD

there's a common theme here brah.

Fuk me I never thought of this but I'm 99% sure she has HPD. You think I'm attracting these hoes because of something in me?

[MegaSloot]

It's hard to judge her poolside behavior because I wasn't there. However, the fact that she used an emasculating term like "insecure" to describe her man is not cool at all. A better choice would have been for her to address your concerns rather than to choose to demean you as a man.
That's the sticking point. Exposing herself may not mean anything given the setting. Example: Its normal and okay to show glutes in a bikini poolside.
One of the duties of a partner in a relationship is to lovingly address issues of concern and not only did she not do this, she used words that would hurt anyone. To go forward with this relationship you would have to become okay with the identity of being "insecure". "Hi, this is Jake, my timorous boyfriend. He goes into hysterics over nothing at all." If that sounds unkind, then maybe your hunch to move on is correct.

[BraneyGumble]

A cuck would enjoy his gf talking to random men and stay with her. I did the opposite. Cuck

You're a cuck who made up an imaginary story where you try to act "alpha" after getting cucked.

Even in your wildest power fantasy you get cucked. That's the gist of the story.

Seek help instead of making up retarded things on the internet.

[MegaSloot]

also, negged. Obviously.

go to tictok, peasant

[RiceBrah93]

It's hard to judge her poolside behavior because I wasn't there. However, the fact that she used an emasculating term like "insecure" to describe her man is not cool at all. A better choice would have been for her to address your concerns rather than to choose to demean you as a man.
That's the sticking point. Exposing herself may not mean anything given the setting. Example: Its normal and okay to show glutes in a bikini poolside.
One of the duties of a partner in a relationship is to lovingly address issues of concern and not only did she not do this, she used words that would hurt anyone. To go forward with this relationship you would have to become okay with the identity of being "insecure". "Hi, this is Jake, my timorous boyfriend. He goes into hysterics over nothing at all." If that sounds unkind, then maybe your hunch to move on is correct.

You're not wrong

[OliverHeldens]

Yep, you made the right call. She's trying to keep you as the "stay at home safe option" while also letting other guys subtly know she's looking.

Stop paying for any of her expenses, and do everything to ensure a clean break. She may not have been planning to cheat, but there's no way you can tolerate this kind of behavior.

[MegaSloot]

Fuk me I never thought of this but I'm 99% sure she has HPD. You think I'm attracting these hoes because of something in me?

huh. turning to pop psychology isn't the way to go. That's actually way more unkind than calling you insecure. Anyway, hope you find your person someday.

[legbroke]

It's hard to judge her poolside behavior because I wasn't there. However, the fact that she used an emasculating term like "insecure" to describe her man is not cool at all. A better choice would have been for her to address your concerns rather than to choose to demean you as a man.
That's the sticking point. Exposing herself may not mean anything given the setting. Example: Its normal and okay to show glutes in a bikini poolside.
One of the duties of a partner in a relationship is to lovingly address issues of concern and not only did she not do this, she used words that would hurt anyone. To go forward with this relationship you would have to become okay with the identity of being "insecure". "Hi, this is Jake, my timorous boyfriend. He goes into hysterics over nothing at all." If that sounds unkind, then maybe your hunch to move on is correct.

Too good of a response for misc.

[RiceBrah93]

First reply was a chat gpi joke i didnt read, but now i DID.
Ok op lets be real, you made it sound way worse than it was and deep down you probably know you overreacted.
But yeah she likely felt little attraction for andrew, if he was hot. But thats normal i feel attracted to other people too if i was in a relationship.
Did you feel like her pussy was soaking wet talking to andrew? Did she ask andrews number/ make actual moves for him? If not i think you dun goofed. Regardless, stick to it bcuz its over already after that point. But yeah hate to say it im pretty sure your insecurities got the best of you.
Your gf may be autistic like that & didnt even want so sukk his dikk.
But she probably did though, tough chit bro. Sloots gon sloot

I think she's defs on the spectrum, she comes across as flirty sometimes when she doesn't mean it I think. Can't grasp simple social norms.

She said she purposefully handed him the papers irl so she didn't have to exchange numbers and message him details

but my questions is: why tf would she even do any of that in the first place? There was no incentive or obligation for her to do so, the guy wasn't asking for her help let alone wanting to do some silly random course. Why would she go out of her way to do any of that unless she's using that to build connection?

[CuttyUnderleaf]

I would’ve thought this was an overreaction if it wasn’t for this "don't be jealous and insecure, you don't own me"

Good call op


*Edit. I really should start reading threads before I post.

[ConTroLFreaKK]

Strong insecure manchild. Sounds like you saw your neighbour as a threat (probably taller/more handsome than you) and you over-reacted like an emotional ****ggot, even if you end up getting back with your GF she'll never respect you again so you may aswell move on and let your chad neighbour take care of her FKN LOL.

[OptimusTrajan]

I think OP was right. She was slootin for sure. Women are replaceable.

See sig.

[tripod29]

How are those NFTs doing that you were going on and on about last yr OP?

[RiceBrah93]

Strong insecure manchild. Sounds like you saw your neighbour as a threat (probably taller/more handsome than you) and you over-reacted like an emotional ****ggot, even if you end up getting back with your GF she'll never respect you again so you may aswell move on and let your chad neighbour take care of her FKN LOL.

He could've been an old manlet and I would reacted the same. Boundaries are boundaries

[129iq]

How long relationship?

[RiceBrah93]

How long relationship?

1 long year

[RiceBrah93]

Quit playing pop psychology, bro. That sloot knew exactly what she was doing when she flirted with that other dude. She proved she knew it was wrong when she responded to your concerns with the "You're just insecure! You don't own me!' line of chit. That's literally the most classic sloot excuse in the book.

I know bro I know. If I could move put of this place tomorrow I would but officially I can't yet.

[chrsschb]

Generally how the person responds to your (legitimate) concerns tells you everything you need to know.

If the answer to this question, "How would she feel if I did this?" isn't overwhelmingly positive, she ain't worth it.

Then ask yourself the same question about the response she gave you, "How would she feel if I responded like this?" I bet you both responses wouldn't be the same as yours.



I used to waste a lot of time and energy giving quarter cause "maybe she didn't know better" or some other illogical coping mechanism. After enough of them you learn they are all well aware of what they are doing and pushing those limits and your boundaries is how they see who has control in the relationship. I don't waste time on that chit anymore and we aren't playing games. Any red flags and next them.