Eating Disorder Support Thread: "Take Action" (part 3)

[AdamWW]

I assume mental illness does though. The genes that predispose one to ED’s overlap with other mental illnesses on the neural side. When it comes to anorexia, there are a few other genes that also affect the metabolic side. I also think trauma (to varying degrees of severity) is likely to be a huge factor in anyone who has developed an ED.

Yeah my mom and dad have no signs of ED... however, my sister, who is both mentally and physically disabled, does.

[Strawng]

Yeah my mom and dad have no signs of ED... however, my sister, who is both mentally and physically disabled, does.

That makes perfect sense. Do you ever talk to her about it? I can't really ever talk to my sister about her ED or my own, because her own extremely severe mental illness and my family dynamics put a major strain on our ability to ever communicate.

[AdamWW]

That makes perfect sense. Do you ever talk to her about it? I can't really ever talk to my sister about her ED or my own, because her own extremely severe mental illness and my family dynamics put a major strain on our ability to ever communicate.

Naw my sister is massively mentally impaired… she can barely speak on her own anymore… the concept wouldn’t make sense I don’t think

[Amber2021]

Most people with eating disorders are normal weight or overweight .id restrct mostly but had BED at one point before then and my antipsychotic Meds kinda made hungry all the time changed Meds now .

[Nightflier101BL]

I certainly have the other mental issues alongside my anorexia, including a psychotic disorder, PTSD and some experienced trauma from childhood. Anorexia seemed to just creep in there with the rest of it. I started to eventually use anorexia as a tool for self harming/slow death, when I got close towards my rock bottom moment. I have periodic thoughts of suicide and thought I could just go out slowly with anorexia and not have to think about the process much.

Now, in recovery, I have to face all these things together and work on all of it. I've got a crap-ton of professionals in every corner helping me tackle each element with the most severe right now being the anorexia recovery. I'm finding as my health improves, my mental health is also improving alongside. I'm starting to feel like a new person the last couple of days.

So, yeah...mental issues definitely came from my family/genetics and may have subconsciously led me down the anorexic path. I didn't seek it out but did start to embrace it later on. I actually enjoyed many aspects of the illness, as hard as that is to explain.

I'm doing well though right now. Developing new thought processes, fears are slowly reducing because I'm trying to fight them head on. But overall, I'm generally feeling MUCH better. Almost forgot what it's like to function somewhat normally. Still got a ways to go with my mental re-wiring but the nutrients are flowing

[AdamWW]

So, yeah...mental issues definitely came from my family/genetics and may have subconsciously led me down the anorexic path. I didn't seek it out but did start to embrace it later on. I actually enjoyed many aspects of the illness, as hard as that is to explain.

That is quite common, and 'missing' or 'mourning' the loss of your ED is a very real occurrence in those going through and getting through recovery.

ED's become a defining part of our identity, they shape our days/schedules, they give us a system of desire/reward/need/accomplishment, and when those go away we are often left without a huge coping mechanism we used to drown out the real world.

I personally suffered from a great deal of this, essentially waiting for other things to come into my life to 'fill the void' created by purging the ED from my life.

It can take time to fill those pathways with other rewarding things: friends, hobbies, love interests, new projects or adventures...

[stevowrock]

I have a problem. I have been taking a week off from the gym and what’s happening is that today I weighted the same or almost the same as before and now my mind tells me to eat less.

because if im maintaining weight during week of from gym im gaining fat?

[DustinTheHuss]

I posted this on the Misc:

I was 5’6 118 in my avi and that’s when I couldn’t even function in terms of driving or working as I was dizzy and fainting, so I ended up in the ambulance and they put me in the Eating Disorder hospital for 3 months and I gained 50 lbs in 3 months with their 4,000 calorie a day meal plan.

My daughter is 5’4 and unfortunately under 100 lbs so what’s worse is I passed the eating disorder on to her. Another family member is under 100 lbs, 18 with bulimia. My daughter’s Dr. is making her come in for weighing.

I got down in the 140s when I had that IFBB pro trainer who passed away, but I didn’t hold it after 2 years. Her meal plan was too strict with fat-free Greek yogurt and fat-free cottage cheese with salads, protein powder, brown rice and oats. Eventually I started increasing to low fat, adding butter, having lunch in the work cafe, binging and sometimes purging, and then gained it all back plus.

Now I’ve dropped 6 inches but my ED therapist is not happy that I restricted to lose weight, so she’s having me see a ED nutritionist starting next week. Honestly I just want to be a normal size for my height, bone structure and exercise level and stop obsessing about numbers.

I need to be a better role model for my daughter as she just has one meal a day and calls me fat for having 3 meals plus a snack. In her mind having 2 meals a day is hell.

I’m so scared for her life or that she may end up inpatient as I was.

[letsallmakeit]

Question, so I got sick and have been home for a while. I haven't been doing what I use to do as workout and I have been maintaining my weight. is this the time to correct my thoughts and eat what I want? I get the thoughts of eating less now since it seems im losing muscle and gaining fat?

[AdamWW]

Question, so I got sick and have been home for a while. I haven't been doing what I use to do as workout and I have been maintaining my weight. is this the time to correct my thoughts and eat what I want? I get the thoughts of eating less now since it seems im losing muscle and gaining fat?

What do you mean “is this the time”?

[letsallmakeit]

What do you mean “is this the time”?

to go against my mind and eat what I want even if I gain fat.

[AdamWW]

to go against my mind and eat what I want even if I gain fat.

Do you not remember asking this already in September?

See below....

Do you guys bulk or cut during an eating disorder? do you guys force feed yourself even if not hungry?

I am having a hard time figuring out if the questions you ask are cries for help or they're genuine...

Obviously cutting with an ED is just having an ED... so... i think the answer is obvious.

Force feeding may be necessary if your hunger cues cause you to lose appetite.

[SopfCAqq]

Just want to support those who struggle with an eating disorder. It is okay not to feel okay, but anyway you should not quit.

[letsallmakeit]

I have a problem guys. I can't stop thinking that I "have" to exercise in order to eat what I want and how much I want. how can I stop this thinking?

[AdamWW]

I have a problem guys. I can't stop thinking that I "have" to exercise in order to eat what I want and how much I want. how can I stop this thinking?

We've discussed this already. Please refer back to page 100 (the previous page) and examine my responses there.

[letsallmakeit]

Anyone experienced low testosterone by excessive weightlifting and dieting?

I started weightlifting and did restrictions to diet when I was younger and sometimes I still even do it. I have been having symptoms for a long time now of low testosterone.
low libido, mentally exhausted, not wanting to do stuff and many more symptoms.

I'm 30 now and have been experiencing low Test in several labs for a long time now.

I have been even having low free t of 100-200 in labs.

One thing is that before recent labs I saw my free test at around 300 ish but before that it was around 500. Somehow I managed to increase it and I dont know what it was.

I don't know if weightlifting could be damaging me more? I'm 6'1-2'' weight 154.5 last time I weighted myself and have been down and up with this weight.

My cortisol is high, my shgb is high and other hormones seems to be wacky.

I got OCD and I stress and have anxiety over little things that could happen and constantly over think stuff.

Could it be diet? my labs on nutrition seems good. could it be cortisol, stress? well yeah cortisol is high, or could be anything else? maybe. I do have a microadenoma, but suppostly it's not releasing or doing much or anything.

Any advice?

[AdamWW]

Anyone experienced low testosterone by excessive weightlifting and dieting?

I started weightlifting and did restrictions to diet when I was younger and sometimes I still even do it. I have been having symptoms for a long time now of low testosterone.
low libido, mentally exhausted, not wanting to do stuff and many more symptoms.

I'm 30 now and have been experiencing low Test in several labs for a long time now.

I have been even having low free t of 100-200 in labs.

One thing is that before recent labs I saw my free test at around 300 ish but before that it was around 500. Somehow I managed to increase it and I dont know what it was.

I don't know if weightlifting could be damaging me more? I'm 6'1-2'' weight 154.5 last time I weighted myself and have been down and up with this weight.

My cortisol is high, my shgb is high and other hormones seems to be wacky.

I got OCD and I stress and have anxiety over little things that could happen and constantly over think stuff.

Could it be diet? my labs on nutrition seems good. could it be cortisol, stress? well yeah cortisol is high, or could be anything else? maybe. I do have a microadenoma, but suppostly it's not releasing or doing much or anything.

Any advice?

I cannot comment on your test levels because you didn't share the unit of measurement, but what I can say is that restriction can mess up your hormones for a LONG time, even if you've gotten to a less dangerous weight.

This includes test, thyroid, cortisol, and leptin/grehlin.... among others.

You can aid the process by NOT training too much, getting plenty of sleep, enough fats and carbs, and being more happy in general.

[letsallmakeit]

I cannot comment on your test levels because you didn't share the unit of measurement, but what I can say is that restriction can mess up your hormones for a LONG time, even if you've gotten to a less dangerous weight.

This includes test, thyroid, cortisol, and leptin/grehlin.... among others.

You can aid the process by NOT training too much, getting plenty of sleep, enough fats and carbs, and being more happy in general.

free test was around 300 ish, don't exactly remember the total, but I have seen free test 100-200.

I see, I do full body 2-3 times a week and I do feel tired sometimes after, it can even deplete me for almost the day. what if not training or doing bodyweight might be better?

[AdamWW]

free test was around 300 ish, don't exactly remember the total, but I have seen free test 100-200.

I see, I do full body 2-3 times a week and I do feel tired sometimes after, it can even deplete me for almost the day. what if not training or doing bodyweight might be better?

I mentioned...

Sleep, Social interactions, doing things to simply be happier, getting enough fat in your diet, enough zinc, vitamin D....


But again, I don't know how 'low' that is because you're not providing the units of measurement.

[DustinTheHuss]

It's so hard having an eating disorder when you're pre-diabetes. I got that diagnosis about 2 weeks ago so my Dr. wants me to limit carbs per meal, but my ED nutritionist doesn't like that. She got me to gain 10 lbs (which I didn't need to gain as I'm overweight) between October and February eating sandwiches and donuts as she was working with me on Intuitive Eating and had me read the book and use the workbook.

But then I end up with pre-diabetes and high LDL cholesterol. I'm 50 so they can no longer say, "well it's better for you to be overweight than die in 5 years from your ED".

I felt so deprived of carbs that I binged and purged 1.5 weeks ago so I worked with my ED therapist on that. She's kind of stressed because this affects my ED, so she said to find the best of both worlds between your Dr. and nutritionist.

Ugh. But the diabetes did stop 3 binges so far in the past 2 weeks as I know this will kill me. It's weird because bulimia can kill me, too, but that never entered my mind.

[AdamWW]

It's so hard having an eating disorder when you're pre-diabetes. I got that diagnosis about 2 weeks ago so my Dr. wants me to limit carbs per meal, but my ED nutritionist doesn't like that. She got me to gain 10 lbs (which I didn't need to gain as I'm overweight) between October and February eating sandwiches and donuts as she was working with me on Intuitive Eating and had me read the book and use the workbook.

But then I end up with pre-diabetes and high LDL cholesterol. I'm 50 so they can no longer say, "well it's better for you to be overweight than die in 5 years from your ED".

I felt so deprived of carbs that I binged and purged 1.5 weeks ago so I worked with my ED therapist on that. She's kind of stressed because this affects my ED, so she said to find the best of both worlds between your Dr. and nutritionist.

Ugh. But the diabetes did stop 3 binges so far in the past 2 weeks as I know this will kill me. It's weird because bulimia can kill me, too, but that never entered my mind.

What manner of ED do you have?

How long has it been in your life?

[DustinTheHuss]

What manner of ED do you have?

How long has it been in your life?

I've been hospitalized for anorexia for 3 months.

I've had an ED for 27 years. It's cycled from bulimia to anorexia to binge eating to bulimia and binge eating. I've gained and lost 100 lbs at times.

I have a treatment team of a therapist, nutritionist and Dr. as mentioned but I'm one of those chronic cases. However, I'm not as bad as many I know who have had bulimia 5x a day for years. I binge/purged probably 5 times in the past year, although it was worse the latter part of 2020.

[AdamWW]

I've been hospitalized for anorexia for 3 months.

I've had an ED for 27 years. It's cycled from bulimia to anorexia to binge eating to bulimia and binge eating. I've gained and lost 100 lbs at times.

I have a treatment team of a therapist, nutritionist and Dr. as mentioned but I'm one of those chronic cases. However, I'm not as bad as many I know who have had bulimia 5x a day for years. I binge/purged probably 5 times in the past year, although it was worse the latter part of 2020.

Got it.

Out of curiosity, what specifically drove you to seek a doctor's input on your blood work? By that I mean, you went to the doctor and they diagnosed you with pre-diabetes, but was the visit for something unrelated? Do you know specifically what they used as a marker of pre-diabetes?

[DustinTheHuss]

Got it.

Out of curiosity, what specifically drove you to seek a doctor's input on your blood work? By that I mean, you went to the doctor and they diagnosed you with pre-diabetes, but was the visit for something unrelated? Do you know specifically what they used as a marker of pre-diabetes?

I went to see my Dr for my annual physical and they usually perform blood work to check for diabetes, cholesterol, iron, Vitamin D, etc.

My blood sugar and A1C are in the high range now. They were normal a year ago. My overall cholesterol is barely normal but my LDL shot up from a year ago into the high range.

My parents have diabetes and high cholesterol and my age isn’t helping.

[AdamWW]

I went to see my Dr for my annual physical and they usually perform blood work to check for diabetes, cholesterol, iron, Vitamin D, etc.

My blood sugar and A1C are in the high range now. They were normal a year ago. My overall cholesterol is barely normal but my LDL shot up from a year ago into the high range.

My parents have diabetes and high cholesterol and my age isn’t helping.

It's a tricky one, because both LDL and Glucuse levels can be impacted by more than just your diet and exercise. Those are probably the largest factors (outside of genetics), but a lack of sleep and also general stress will impact them too.

Im curious, in terms of your eating, what are you doing right now? Are you doing a complete intuitive approach with no specific goals beyond taste and fullness, or are you factoring in anything else when you make food and meal decisions?

[DustinTheHuss]

It's a tricky one, because both LDL and Glucuse levels can be impacted by more than just your diet and exercise. Those are probably the largest factors (outside of genetics), but a lack of sleep and also general stress will impact them too.

Im curious, in terms of your eating, what are you doing right now? Are you doing a complete intuitive approach with no specific goals beyond taste and fullness, or are you factoring in anything else when you make food and meal decisions?

My stress level is lower since I work from home (for now) and I sleep 10 hours a day. My Dr. was concerned about my weight gain causing the increase as she asked why my nutritionist can’t just work to get me down to a healthy weight. The issue with intuitive eating is that after restricting weight gain is going to happen. I had gone down to 800 calories a day last summer, lost a lot of weight but then I was so hungry I couldn’t sleep without 2,300 calories a day. That’s when I started back with intuitive eating in November.

Now I’m balancing fat, protein and carbs in each mini meal and eating 6 times a day. This means some of my tasty foods are cut in half to meet the 20g per meal carb max from my Dr. but then I just save that carb source for another meal. This will be a pain when we return to the office 3 days a week but it’s doable at home.

[AdamWW]

My stress level is lower since I work from home (for now) and I sleep 10 hours a day. My Dr. was concerned about my weight gain causing the increase as she asked why my nutritionist can’t just work to get me down to a healthy weight. The issue with intuitive eating is that after restricting weight gain is going to happen. I had gone down to 800 calories a day last summer, lost a lot of weight but then I was so hungry I couldn’t sleep without 2,300 calories a day. That’s when I started back with intuitive eating in November.

Now I’m balancing fat, protein and carbs in each mini meal and eating 6 times a day. This means some of my tasty foods are cut in half to meet the 20g per meal carb max from my Dr. but then I just save that carb source for another meal. This will be a pain when we return to the office 3 days a week but it’s doable at home.

Lot of stuff going on here, for sure.

Would it be possible to give me a very brief summary of how your ED started and how it progressed over the years ?

And if possible, where is it at right now? What are you currently struggling with in terms of your thought process around food/eating and weight?

[DustinTheHuss]

Lot of stuff going on here, for sure.

Would it be possible to give me a very brief summary of how your ED started and how it progressed over the years ?

And if possible, where is it at right now? What are you currently struggling with in terms of your thought process around food/eating and weight?

My ED started when I was 22 and went to Jenny Craig to lose weight for my wedding. I lost 20 lbs and became a poster child for them, but when I went off of their food I started gaining weight so I panicked and started bulimia. Then I did bulimia for a year before I got help for it from a psychiatrist, but then it turned to anorexia. I was anorexic for maybe 4 years and then ended up in the ED hospital for 3 months after I ended up in the ambulance.

Then I was ED-free for about 4 years until I got pregnant and the Dr. started harassing me about my weight gain even with my history. I only gained 40 lbs during pregnancy but I went to see an ED nutritionist who told my Dr. that she was ridiculous, but the nutritionist also added protein to my diet so I wasn't so hungry all of the time.

Then the pregnancy weight was a trigger and I'll go a year or two ED-free and then it will come back in terms of my life.

Well now I've gained a lot of weight as my psych meds made me super sleepy 3 years ago so I didn't exercise nor care about my food that much. Luckily I've cut down on the meds but now the weight gain has affected my health. I told my nutritionist I just want to be normal BMI - not overweight or underweight, but I'm fairly muscular even naturally so when I played college tennis I was 5'6 160 lbs and that was exercising 5 hours a day.

I'm about 155-160 in my avi but I couldn't maintain that on my IFBB pro diet that my trainer had me on so I've gained weight since then.

[AdamWW]

My ED started when I was 22 and went to Jenny Craig to lose weight for my wedding. I lost 20 lbs and became a poster child for them, but when I went off of their food I started gaining weight so I panicked and started bulimia. Then I did bulimia for a year before I got help for it from a psychiatrist, but then it turned to anorexia. I was anorexic for maybe 4 years and then ended up in the ED hospital for 3 months after I ended up in the ambulance.

Then I was ED-free for about 4 years until I got pregnant and the Dr. started harassing me about my weight gain even with my history. I only gained 40 lbs during pregnancy but I went to see an ED nutritionist who told my Dr. that she was ridiculous, but the nutritionist also added protein to my diet so I wasn't so hungry all of the time.

Then the pregnancy weight was a trigger and I'll go a year or two ED-free and then it will come back in terms of my life.

Well now I've gained a lot of weight as my psych meds made me super sleepy 3 years ago so I didn't exercise nor care about my food that much. Luckily I've cut down on the meds but now the weight gain has affected my health. I told my nutritionist I just want to be normal BMI - not overweight or underweight, but I'm fairly muscular even naturally so when I played college tennis I was 5'6 160 lbs and that was exercising 5 hours a day.

I'm about 155-160 in my avi but I couldn't maintain that on my IFBB pro diet that my trainer had me on so I've gained weight since then.

OK, that helps a lot.

Now im not a doctor, nor a specialist, but I do have about 18 years of ED history behind me, and now happily out the other end.

One thing I will tell is that 'true recovery', in my opinion, will never involve targeting specific macros, programs, or forcing oneself to center their attention on food... whether that is reading self-help 'intuitive eating' books or doing huge amounts of daily practices and drills to try and recondition your mind. After over a decade living a certain way, it takes a dramatic shift in lifestyle to truly make things go in the other direction. These things can be great tools in the beginning, but that's all they should be: a direction to go in.

I find that changing your activities and your environment to be the best ways to do this.... because Im guessing that, for a LONG time, you've been centering your values, lifestyle, etc around SOMETHING that is related to food or body image, such that - now - you don't really trust yourself NOT to constantly try to 'work on' making it better.

Is that accurate?

[letsallmakeit]

I mentioned...

Sleep, Social interactions, doing things to simply be happier, getting enough fat in your diet, enough zinc, vitamin D....


But again, I don't know how 'low' that is because you're not providing the units of measurement.

What if I want to try stopping weightlifting to see how it works out? I do want to eat more, but I would feel like its going to make me just fat if I don't weightlift.
If My body haves high cortisol, is under stress from extra stress and anxiety. strength training could put the body into more recoverying make it harder to recover?

free test was around 300 ish. I'm not sure on the range, but if I'm correct low is around 200 ish NG/DL (if i'm correct) and the highest could be around 1k, but I don't remember the ranges.