Matches have pretty much died ³

[Luc1fer]

You said "A person sacrificing a major life opportunity for the sake of another person’s welfare." A major life opportunity is a career, and I went on the mommy track to take a few years off work and take a job that only worked 9-5 to be around her more. It's funny how we say "only" 9-5, like that's something part-time in tech.

And no I don't resent her. Being home with her was the best time of my life. Unfortunately it was only for 4 years.

Can we re-frame this to people you view in that category? Otherwise it's gonna be people posting about what great sacrifices they've made for others.

Just your parents I gather. Did you ever see your husband in it?

[DustinTheHuss]

Can we re-frame this to people you view in that category? Otherwise it's gonna be people posting about what great sacrifices they've made for others.

Just your parents I gather. Did you ever see your husband in it?

No. Just my parents.

[Luc1fer]

No. Just my parents.

Do you think that's a reasonable thing to expect in a potential marriage partner? I know it's a high bar.

[DustinTheHuss]

Do you think that's a reasonable thing to expect in a potential marriage partner? I know it's a high bar.

It is an extremely high bar. I can understand devotion in a marriage, but it's not an unconditional love. Heck even parents don't give unconditional love for many Miscers.

You made decisions that make common sense in terms of letting go a liar and one who wasn't emotionally stable. But to find someone with the qualities you describe in today's age? Even in my Grandmother's/Grandfather's generation I could see people coming closer to that, but not quite there.

[Luc1fer]

It is an extremely high bar. I can understand devotion in a marriage, but it's not an unconditional love. Heck even parents don't give unconditional love for many Miscers.

You made decisions that make common sense in terms of letting go a liar and one who wasn't emotionally stable. But to find someone with the qualities you describe in today's age? Even in my Grandmother's/Grandfather's generation I could see people coming closer to that, but not quite there.

I know my parents would do it for one another in a heartbeat. It wouldn't even be a decision I think.

But I recognize I'm in a different generation, and my mindset has to be different and more defensive than my father's.

It's quite unfortunate in many ways.

[DustinTheHuss]

I know my parents would do it for one another in a heartbeat. It wouldn't even be a decision I think.

But I recognize I'm in a different generation, and my mindset has to be different and more defensive than my father's.

It's quite unfortunate in many ways.

Oh I guess I misunderstood you. I thought you meant that your parents would sacrifice themselves for you.

For each other? I wouldn't put my parents at that bar, but they have had a rocky marriage yet stuck it out and now seem to be much happier. Maybe my grandparents.

In today's society, yikes. There are just so many temptations and our moral values have gone downhill with OnlyFans, social media, etc.

[Luc1fer]

Oh I guess I misunderstood you. I thought you meant that your parents would sacrifice themselves for you.

For each other? I wouldn't put my parents at that bar, but they have had a rocky marriage yet stuck it out and now seem to be much happier. Maybe my grandparents.

In today's society, yikes. There are just so many temptations and our moral values have gone downhill with OnlyFans, social media, etc.

You didn’t misunderstand me. I said earlier that they would do it for me. Now I’m saying that they would also do it for each other, given the context is now about potential marriage partners.

[DustinTheHuss]

You didn’t misunderstand me. I said earlier that they would do it for me. Now I’m saying that they would also do it for each other, given the context is now about potential marriage partners.

Yeah that’s a tough one in today’s society. I would hope that if I remarry the guy would want a life partner to share experiences with. I wouldn’t expect him to do what you describe.

I don’t even know anyone IRL who would do that for each other.

[SwimLiftRunGrl]

I don’t like that quote but I’m sure it works better in Chinese. That’s a very individualistic mindset. I especially dislike the “logical” piece. There are certainly expectations of friends and family that should exist in a healthy society.

I’m hesitant to provide specific examples because people will zone in on the specific example, which could deflect from the core message. If an example helps visualize the core message, I’ll provide a vague illustration:

A person sacrificing a major life opportunity for the sake of another person’s welfare.

I reckon you’d be shocked at how few people would be willing to do this in westernized nations. Yet, in some family-first cultures, this is a default mindset.

Oh I see. I think I interpret differently from your original post and you interpreted the Chinese saying in terms of "I" perspective. Let me explain how it was taught to me by my parents.

- The first part means that if I help a person and that person helps me back then that person is returning the favor which is great. These are non-selfish acts.
- The second part means that if I help a person and that person does not help back then that is fine too as it is their right to not return the favor. I help the person because I want to help the person and I should not expect something back from that person.

As to your part about "A person sacrificing a major life opportunity for the sake of another person’s welfare" there are not a lot of major life opportunities besides giving up a career opportunity for someone, moving away from own's family to be with the other person,
or letting go of someone you love so he or she can persue their dreams. What other major life opportunity can you think of?

Not sure if this is a major lift opportunity but I am willing to take a bullet for one of my exes and he would do the same.

i've met women between then and now who i dated but it never lasted more than a few months and it was uneventful. i don't talk about those women. that's boring.

At this point I think your boring stories might be new and exciting for us. Reading these trashy stories can turn into boring events.

[DustinTheHuss]

Not sure if this is a major lift opportunity but I am willing to take a bullet for one of my exes and he would do the same.

Holy Toledo, a bullet? I can’t imagine thinking that for anyone outside of my own child. I did jump in front of a car to save my cat in my teens but that was just impulse.

I can’t imagine having a romantic bond with someone to take a bullet for, but at this point something like that isn’t something that’s in the cards for me I don’t think. Too many years of being in an emotionally abusive marriage and high stress career have messed up my mental state.

My therapist thinks that once I’m away from those stressors I would back to normal as I was in my 20s, however.

A bullet? I can’t imagine taking a bullet for any of these Bumble and Hinge twinks. Lol

[dolvioblue]

Holy Toledo, a bullet? I can’t imagine thinking that for anyone outside of my own child. I did jump in front of a car to save my cat in my teens but that was just impulse.

I can’t imagine having a romantic bond with someone to take a bullet for, but at this point something like that isn’t something that’s in the cards for me I don’t think. Too many years of being in an emotionally abusive marriage and high stress career have messed up my mental state.

My therapist thinks that once I’m away from those stressors I would back to normal as I was in my 20s, however.

A bullet? I can’t imagine taking a bullet for any of these Bumble and Hinge twinks. Lol

Are you mentally okay?

[DustinTheHuss]

Are you mentally okay?

I have severe anxiety, an eating disorder and depression. I was fine in my 20s, but then I went to Jenny Craig to lose weight for my wedding, I was a huge success story but started to gain the weight again when I went off their food, so I started undereating and over exercising. I ended up in the hospital for 3 months and have been in and out of recovery since.

I’ve had a very stressful but rewarding career and that, along with a marriage just on paper, creates a lot of stress.

I look forward to a beachside house with a less stressful career in 2-5 years. Then I bet my anxiety and other stuff would disappear

[Imnew1]

Not sure if this is a major lift opportunity but I am willing to take a bullet for one of my exes and he would do the same.

I wouldn't say I'd take a bullet for my ex from last year, but I'd definitely help her if she needed anything major, or if I saw her getting beat by a new bf then I would go kick his ass. Sadly my ex hates my guts and probably still wants to put a bullet in me instead.

[SwimLiftRunGrl]

Holy Toledo, a bullet? I can’t imagine thinking that for anyone outside of my own child. I did jump in front of a car to save my cat in my teens but that was just impulse.

I can’t imagine having a romantic bond with someone to take a bullet for, but at this point something like that isn’t something that’s in the cards for me I don’t think. Too many years of being in an emotionally abusive marriage and high stress career have messed up my mental state.

My therapist thinks that once I’m away from those stressors I would back to normal as I was in my 20s, however.

A bullet? I can’t imagine taking a bullet for any of these Bumble and Hinge twinks. Lol

Just wanted to say that I'm not crazy. haha.. I know what type of person he is because we have a long history. So if he can take a bullet for me then why can't I for him? He has loyalty in him even for his childhood friends.

I was thinking about major life opportunity for another person's welfare earlier and realize that we do have a lot of unselfish people -> the people who go to war to protect other people's welfare. Okay. Don't want to be too political or maybe I'm way over my head at this subject. But you know what I mean.

I wouldn't say I'd take a bullet for my ex from last year, but I'd definitely help her if she needed anything major, or if I saw her getting beat by a new bf then I would go kick his ass. Sadly my ex hates my guts and probably still wants to put a bullet in me instead.

Don't worry too much. I don't think that she will do that to you. Time will heal.

[Imnew1]

Don't worry too much. I don't think that she will do that to you. Time will heal.

I'm kidding for the most part, but when I saw her after a year shopping at a grocery store 2 min from where I live there was nothing but dislike for me in her eyes if not pure hatred. Those hateful eyes like she wished she'd never met me and regretted ever dating me (lol her exact words by text during her crazy smear campaign ending) after we spent years together and were best friends, went on trips, met families and stuff, talked marriage.

Meanwhile she's the one who started some ridiculous smear campaign against me at the end, threatened restraining orders going to cops, telling me I was facing 16 months in jail over a dumb HIV email she sent to me and blamed me for claiming I did it to ruin her life when the whole intent was for somebody to troll me right before Christmas. Ruined a friendship that wasn't really much of a friendship over that by blaming that guy for being in on it together with me.

Somehow I was able to just smile and shake my head at her when I saw her after a year and kept it moving. Time heals but people never forget as far as I'm concerned. And forgiveness is between people and God as far as I'm concerned. The hell with forgiving and letting people get away with cruel and unnecessary actions. I would never date her again after that, which is really sad as I did love her. Just couldn't give her what she wanted exactly when she wanted it. Especially while she drunkenly trashed my parents multiple times to her family, complete strangers, spits at me, always on snapchat and instagram doing God knows what. A selfish, self centered, narcissistic btch. Not the sweet, cool, fun, in love with me girl I met as friends for the first year of knowing her when she chased me like crazy. Oh well.

[Luc1fer]

^^ You should use paragraphs if you want people to read your posts.

[Luc1fer]

Ventured onto the main misc... I think it's gotten even worse the past couple of years?

[DustinTheHuss]

Ventured onto the main misc... I think it's gotten even worse the past couple of years?

Worse in terms of chitty posts?

Edit: Just browsed tonight. The threads seem to be boring tonight.

[DustinTheHuss]

Even I'm as bad with this in terms of that 7.75-8/10 Chad who hits me up.

[Luc1fer]

[]https://i.ibb.co/9V6g0p4/qynxyKh.jpg[/img]

Even I'm as bad with this in terms of that 7.75-8/10 Chad who hits me up.

If you had self pride or principles, you’d block and ignore him.

I don’t agree with Pondus that you and SS are the same person, but damn you behave similarly.

[DustinTheHuss]

If you had self pride or principles, you’d block and ignore him.

I don’t agree with Pondus that you and SS are the same person, but damn you behave similarly.

No we aren't the same person and you can see a lot of differences with us in terms of life, lifestyle, location, etc. I have a child, I play tennis, I'm pretty sure where she lives and it's far away from me, I'm in that adventure club, she prefers the young linemen, she works a less stressful job than I do now, as she said she did work in the corporate world before. We do both like the young guys, I think for different reasons.

She described a problem in her celibate thread with dating a guy over 50 that I'm experiencing as well with this 51 year old on Bumble. She and I are used to getting the nonstop texting all day with most young Chads as that's how that generation communicates. I wasn't comfortable with all of the texting 15 years ago, but I adjusted to it and started getting highs from it. Each text would help me get through the day at work if I was tired or bored.

Now the guys over 50 don't text that often and want to video chat or talk on the phone. The 51 year old asked me to video chat at 12pm today, and also Monday night at 6:20pm. He rarely messages so it's so odd, and those times just didn't work for me. It's so much easier for me to type on here or text, not giving af what I look like than to put on some makeup and try to look and act excited. I guess I'll have to adjust to this way of communicating if I want to date in this age group, if I keep their interest since they probably think I act like I'm 25.

The 53 year old always wanted to talk on the phone and then said it was weird I had to sit in my car. He said he was tired that the only attractive women on dating apps were all married and separated but living together. Then he ghosted me.

[Luc1fer]

I think maybe you both require a lot of attention. And that’s a problem to resolve imo. You should be capable of being content without constant communication/validation.

My recent ex was the same so I understand what GenZ is like. Just always messaging on 3 different threads at once. She’d message the exact msg copy/paste to 2/3 different friends or groups at once and continue convos with them. Often the recipients weren’t even friends with each other, different “friend groups”.

I often called her out if we were watching a show/movie or moved her phone out of reach. It was like an instinct to reach for it every couple of minutes. She was pretty good when we were out to eat, but if I ever looked at my phone she’d immediately take the opportunity.

Also had “finsta”.

Bad addiction imo.

[DustinTheHuss]

I think maybe you both require a lot of attention. And that’s a problem to resolve imo. You should be capable of being content without constant communication/validation.

My recent ex was the same so I understand what GenZ is like. Just always messaging on 3 different threads at once. She’d message the exact msg copy/paste to 2/3 different friends or groups at once and continue convos with them. Often the recipients weren’t even friends with each other, different “friend groups”.

I often called her out if we were watching a show/movie or moved her phone out of reach. It was like an instinct to reach for it every couple of minutes. She was pretty good when we were out to eat, but if I ever looked at my phone she’d immediately take the opportunity.

Also had “finsta”.

Bad addiction imo.

I also see that with my daughter and her friends. They have "finstas", too.

I don't require my female friends to be constantly messaging like that at all as they do. I just like the good morning texts and texts during the day from guys. So yes, it sets the bar for a busy businessman to not have the time to send "hey what are you doing" texts throughout the day. That's what people in the thread were saying to SS, that a guy at a conference doesn't have the time to message her when he's in sessions all day, meeting with clients, etc.

That would be annoying for the person to pick up their phone every few minutes when you watch a movie/show. I don't do that. I don't pick it up when I'm playing tennis or out with my adventure group. But during the day I am looking at it if I need some motivation.

Twice I went six months no communication all men and that part was the toughest. Someone said it was almost like I needed to smoke a joint to get through the workday as I was so used to getting that male attention from young guys during the day. Eventually I stopped missing it.

How much communication do you like to do during a day with a woman?

[DustinTheHuss]

8/10 21 year old from Hinge:

Him: "So I have a question, I'd love to see more pics of you. I have some I think you might like".

Me: "Oh I go slower than that "

I guess I'm over the hill.

[TallSaint]

Chatting with some chick over the last few days on bumble:

Me: Hey, chatting with you has been fun and it would be cool to meet you in person! If you are free this weekend, we should meet up for drinks

Her: I'm quite busy this weekend, but I will definitely let you know of a weekend that works.

brb waiting for "a weekend that works"



I don't think dating apps could sink any lower at this point lmao.

[DustinTheHuss]

Chatting with some chick over the last few days on bumble:

Me: Hey, chatting with you has been fun and it would be cool to meet you in person! If you are free this weekend, we should meet up for drinks

Her: I'm quite busy this weekend, but I will definitely let you know of a weekend that works.

brb waiting for "a weekend that works"



I don't think dating apps could sink any lower at this point lmao.

I agree. I’ve been flaked on and ghosted so many times this year, and SS posted in her FWB is celibate thread that she was flaked on by the 50 year old.
—————-
At least the 51 year old is still chatting me to do a video call and get together this weekend if it goes well. He says he understands as he lived with his ex for awhile until they finalized the divorce.

[Luc1fer]

Chatting with some chick over the last few days on bumble:

Me: Hey, chatting with you has been fun and it would be cool to meet you in person! If you are free this weekend, we should meet up for drinks

Her: I'm quite busy this weekend, but I will definitely let you know of a weekend that works.

brb waiting for "a weekend that works"

[]https://imgflip.com/s/meme/Waiting-Skeleton.jpg[/IMG]

I don't think dating apps could sink any lower at this point lmao.

Wow that’s annoying. ****ing SS level time waster.

[DustinTheHuss]

Wow that’s annoying. ****ing SS level time waster.

I don't know what's going on this year. I wasn't flaked on that much last year even with the virus, so that can't be the explanation.

BRB my hair stylist tells me while she's doing my hair that she just had Covid a few weeks ago and hasn't tested negative yet! You think she would tell me before?!!!

[TallSaint]

I agree. I’ve been flaked on and ghosted so many times this year, and SS posted in her FWB is celibate thread that she was flaked on by the 50 year old.
—————-
At least the 51 year old is still chatting me to do a video call and get together this weekend if it goes well. He says he understands as he lived with his ex for awhile until they finalized the divorce.

Wow that’s annoying. ****ing SS level time waster.

Lol it's ridiculous.

She sent that to me over 12 hours ago and I still haven't responded.

Gonna wait a few more hours and then hit her with: "Okay, no worries. I'll go ahead and make other plans. We'll meet up another time "

Then never text her again unless she wants to hook-up.

[DustinTheHuss]

Lol it's ridiculous.

She sent that to me over 12 hours ago and I still haven't responded.

Gonna wait a few more hours and then hit her with: "Okay, no worries. I'll go ahead and make other plans. We'll meet up another time "

Then never text her again unless she wants to hook-up.

That sounds like a great way to handle the time wasters.