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  1. #91
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    Like what kind of actions? What could I have done to not be deceived?
    You gotta figure that out. I already suggested that you may be vulnerable to ego fulfillment.
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  2. #92
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    You gotta figure that out. I already suggested that you may be vulnerable to ego fulfillment.
    So, what do you believe her narrative is? You were saying earlier that she wanted to go back with her ex, but he's moved away. What could be her narrative?
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  3. #93
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    So, what do you believe her narrative is? You were saying earlier that she wanted to go back with her ex, but he's moved away. What could be her narrative?

    You were useful to her at the time. Maybe as a rebound, maybe as a backup for another option, we will never know.
    We can only speculate, and that's the closest you'll get to closure with all but the most self aware and empathetic women in your life, of which this doesn't seem like one of them
    maybe you missed it. why do you care why she doesn't want to be with you anyway. you'll never find out the true reason
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  4. #94
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    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post
    maybe you missed it. why do you care why she doesn't want to be with you anyway. you'll never find out the true reason
    I just can't deal with this. We did so much together that everything makes me think of her and the times we shares. I'm at my dad's house now and I was thinking about working out in his garage gym and going in his pool, but since her and I would workout together here and go in the pool it reminds me of her. I keep thinking about the time we worked out together, then jumped in the pool and she just sat on my lap and hugged/cuddled me. I want that back. Same with the gym. We worked out at the gym together too and I don't want to be thinking about her and tearing up at the gym. I opened my shirt drawer and saw the shirt she got me when she was on vacation. I can't f*cking escape. I also sent a message to my doctor about this--just saying I'm having an extremely difficult time emotionally, can barely eat or sleep, and am having depressive/panic attacks and asked if he would recommend anything. I would do almost anything right now to escape this pain. F*ck, if he recommended me the same anti-depressant she's on I'd probably try it. I need something. I'm beyond ashamed to admit this, but I drove by her apartment building last night just to look for her car and see if her lights were on. I'm going crazy
    Last edited by Bonesbrahh; 09-12-2020 at 11:18 AM.
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  5. #95
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I just can't deal with this. We did so much together that everything makes me think of her and the times we shares. I'm at my dad's house now and I was thinking about working out in his garage gym and going in his pool, but since her and I would workout together here and go in the pool it reminds me of her. I keep thinking about the time we worked out together, then jumped in the pool and she just sat on my lap and hugged/cuddled me. I want that back. Same with the gym. We worked out at the gym together too and I don't want to be thinking about her and tearing up at the gym. I opened my shirt drawer and saw the shirt she got me when she was on vacation. I can't f*cking escape. I also sent a message to my doctor about this--just saying I'm having an extremely difficult time emotionally, can barely eat or sleep, and am having depressive/panic attacks and asked if he would recommend anything. I would do almost anything right now to escape this pain. F*ck, if he recommended me the same anti-depressant she's on I'd probably try it. I need something. I'm beyond ashamed to admit this, but I drove by her apartment building last night just to look for her car and see if her lights were on. I'm going crazy
    Ok bud, this is a bit much. Just cut off any contact and try to do other things to divert your attention. Donโ€™t do anything stupid that you may regret later.
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  6. #96
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I just can't deal with this. We did so much together that everything makes me think of her and the times we shares. I'm at my dad's house now and I was thinking about working out in his garage gym and going in his pool, but since her and I would workout together here and go in the pool it reminds me of her. I keep thinking about the time we worked out together, then jumped in the pool and she just sat on my lap and hugged/cuddled me. I want that back. Same with the gym. We worked out at the gym together too and I don't want to be thinking about her and tearing up at the gym. I opened my shirt drawer and saw the shirt she got me when she was on vacation. I can't f*cking escape. I also sent a message to my doctor about this--just saying I'm having an extremely difficult time emotionally, can barely eat or sleep, and am having depressive/panic attacks and asked if he would recommend anything. I would do almost anything right now to escape this pain. F*ck, if he recommended me the same anti-depressant she's on I'd probably try it. I need something. I'm beyond ashamed to admit this, but I drove by her apartment building last night just to look for her car and see if her lights were on. I'm going crazy
    i know exactly how you're feeling and i know its very painful.
    im not qualified to tell you exactly what you should be doing, apart from the obvious which is trying to maximise good life choices which are under your control, in order to negate the stress and negative emotions which arent.

    stuff like:
    -eat healthily
    -see friends and family (and share with them)
    -work out
    -invest time in hobbies

    the quicker your remove her from your mind the better. otherwise what happens is you create a feedback loop, and you'll never stop thinking of her.
    the really good thing here is she left zero grey area. she straight up told you she doesn't want to be with you. that doesn't happen often. rejoice at least in the fact you know that for definite and leave it in the past now
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  7. #97
    therapist (srs) xvicknumber7x's Avatar
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    okay now we know its a troll thread
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  8. #98
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    okay now we know its a troll thread
    Look who it is, you single again?
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  9. #99
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    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post
    i know exactly how you're feeling and i know its very painful.
    im not qualified to tell you exactly what you should be doing, apart from the obvious which is trying to maximise good life choices which are under your control, in order to negate the stress and negative emotions which arent.

    stuff like:
    -eat healthily
    -see friends and family (and share with them)
    -work out
    -invest time in hobbies

    the quicker your remove her from your mind the better. otherwise what happens is you create a feedback loop, and you'll never stop thinking of her.
    the really good thing here is she left zero grey area. she straight up told you she doesn't want to be with you. that doesn't happen often. rejoice at least in the fact you know that for definite and leave it in the past now
    What do you all think about me getting back on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge? Not necessarily to look for a date/hookup immediately, but just to swipe and attempt to connect with other women? I'll admit though that I'm scared I might see her on there and it's going to give me another panic/depressive attack.
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  10. #100
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    What do you all think about me getting back on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge? Not necessarily to look for a date/hookup immediately, but just to swipe and attempt to connect with other women? I'll admit though that I'm scared I might see her on there and it's going to give me another panic/depressive attack.
    You should connect with family and close friends right now if possible. Breakups leave a void, and your emotions need to re-adjust and grieve the loss.

    4 months shouldn't take more than a few weeks though. Not a long time, but you clearly allowed yourself to bond far too quickly.
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  11. #101
    Registered User Austin317's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    What do you all think about me getting back on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge? Not necessarily to look for a date/hookup immediately, but just to swipe and attempt to connect with other women? I'll admit though that I'm scared I might see her on there and it's going to give me another panic/depressive attack.
    I find it depends on the person it goes one of two ways.

    You end up speaking to women on there and all you do is think about your ex and compare everything to your ex when you meet up with these women and label them as inferior in every way.

    You meet up with women and it actually helps you get over your ex by connecting with someone new.

    Theyโ€™re the only two ways I feel it can go. Jumping on tinder/hinge etc straight after a breakup is the best thing for me and I feel it benefits me. But you might be different. Driving past her house and not doing things that you did together with her though has to stop.
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  12. #102
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    I went through something similar recently with someone I became very fond of. It caught me off guard with how well we connected.
    She ghosted me out of the blue. I still have not idea why and admittedly I felt fuking used.
    It still fuks with my head at times and there is no easy way about it.
    You need to cut contact with her for your own sanity. If you keep talking or texting her as she is still responding, you will stretch out this process.

    Block her status updates, get off ********, ignore IG, stop checking her profile pics.
    Don't drive past her house at night.
    Keep busy and focus on yourself. If you have hobbies invest more time in that.
    Try spending some time with good friends or decent family members. Even if they live a 1000 miles away give them a call to just talk chit.
    If there is something in your career that you want to focus on, use this time to focus on that.

    If you want, download tinder. You will still be comparing others to her, but at least you are talking to other people to keep your mind occupied or just have a conversation. Even if it is superficial.
    It takes time to move on after something like this.



    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post
    the really good thing here is she left zero grey area. she straight up told you she doesn't want to be with you. that doesn't happen often. rejoice at least in the fact you know that for definite and leave it in the past now
    Honestly OP, this said above here helps a lot to move on. You managed to get some sort of reason or closure. Most people do not get it.
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  13. #103
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    The advice on this thread is horrible.

    Give her a couple weeks dude. Maybe she reaches out again. Maybe she didnโ€™t feel what she needed to feel in your relationship. Not everyone is meant to be together. It hurts but her message was nice given the situation. They try and make it about โ€œyouโ€ but it is actually about her... she tried and it didnโ€™t work.
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  14. #104
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dolvioblue View Post
    The advice on this thread is horrible.

    Give her a couple weeks dude. Maybe she reaches out again. Maybe she didnโ€™t feel what she needed to feel in your relationship. Not everyone is meant to be together. It hurts but her message was nice given the situation. They try and make it about โ€œyouโ€ but it is actually about her... she tried and it didnโ€™t work.
    yeah op do this and condition yourself to being treated as an option

    the girl has said she doesn't want to be with him. How much respect do you think she'll have for him if she 'comes round' and he's still there ready to take her?
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  15. #105
    Registered User Mercworx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I don't think so man. Anything's possible, but I got a peek into her ********/snapchat/text messages at one point and there was nothing sketchy. She was even referring to me as her boyfriend in the messages when she'd talk about me. Plus she's been very sick the past week and a half. And on top of that I gave her an out a few weeks ago, which she could have easily taken if there was another guy. She also didn't have to agree to exclusivity with me. She hasn't met anyone else.


    Men will lie to themselves in the most bizarre ways rather than admit the chance she met someone else.
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  16. #106
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    The more I think about it, which I shouldn't even be doing (but can't help), the more I realize there were bad signs...

    The posting of salacious pictures/videos publicly on social media (snapchat). I even remember back when she was still with her ex before we net she would randomly post pictures showing her ass in yoga pants. I think this shows that she may have some self-esteem issues and requires attention/validation from others to make herself feel attractive.

    She told me she was drugged and raped in college, which prompted her to take a year off school. I have extreme empathy for her, but I'm sure this caused a lot of emotional trauma and baggage.

    She told me her older sister has borderline personality disorder and might even be a sociopath, and said she has trauma and trust issues because her sister would do REALLY messed up things to her when they were younger.

    The antidepressants and lorazepam. I have NO problem with these medications, but it does signify she has depression/anxiety issues she couldn't deal with without them, so her anxiety/depression must have been bad.

    She admitted to still talking to her ex "as friends".

    One night she was wearing a shirt that her ex gave her. And it wasn't just a normal shirt. It was a navy shirt with his last name on the back (he's in the navy). She also gave me a shirt to wear one night that he had made for her. It had a graphic of a spider she kept as a pet or something and she told me it was an inside joke between them.

    And of course that time 3 weeks ago when she canceled our friday date night because she said she had to babysit, then I saw snaps of her having a party at her place, which she didn't tell me about or invite me to. Her excuse being she DID babysit, and afterward a girlfriend wanted to hangout so they did, then other people got invited and it turned into a party, and she didn't invite me because "I don't really drink so she didn't think I would have fun". I found the excuse ridiculous, but had fallen for her at that point and was willing to move past it.

    I guess I'm not entirely surprised this happened, but I'm shocked at the timing. She had a kidney infection most of last week and this week, and I went to her place sunday & monday to be there for her, helped take care of her dogs, and spent the night both nights because she wanted me to stay. We also had a beach trip coming up in two weeks that I had made reservations for and even bought us water shoes for. And on top of that, on wednesday (the day before she dumped me), she let me buy this Halloween costume for her dog. I sent her the link and she told me which size to buy. There was no indication that the next day she would be dumping me. I just feel like something had to have prompted this... Maybe her being really sick and feeling bad made her depressed, which led to this? She went to her mom's to stay the night tuesday. Maybe they talked about me and her mom told her it would be best to let me go if she wasn't over her last relationship? I'll never understand this timing...
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I just can't deal with this. We did so much together that everything makes me think of her and the times we shares. I'm at my dad's house now and I was thinking about working out in his garage gym and going in his pool, but since her and I would workout together here and go in the pool it reminds me of her. I keep thinking about the time we worked out together, then jumped in the pool and she just sat on my lap and hugged/cuddled me. I want that back. Same with the gym. We worked out at the gym together too and I don't want to be thinking about her and tearing up at the gym. I opened my shirt drawer and saw the shirt she got me when she was on vacation. I can't f*cking escape. I also sent a message to my doctor about this--just saying I'm having an extremely difficult time emotionally, can barely eat or sleep, and am having depressive/panic attacks and asked if he would recommend anything. I would do almost anything right now to escape this pain. F*ck, if he recommended me the same anti-depressant she's on I'd probably try it. I need something. I'm beyond ashamed to admit this, but I drove by her apartment building last night just to look for her car and see if her lights were on. I'm going crazy
    Brah, I got out of a relationship recently of about 4 months too. The advice here is spot on. She didnโ€™t feel the same way and sold you an illusion. I know itโ€™s difficult, but stay no contact and move on.
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    Originally Posted by Zainius View Post
    Brah, I got out of a relationship recently of about 4 months too. The advice here is spot on. She didnโ€™t feel the same way and sold you an illusion. I know itโ€™s difficult, but stay no contact and move on.
    I know man... Ugh. It's just so f*cking hard to accept that this person who I legitimately fell for didn't really care about me at all and just used me for attention/as a rebound. God damn
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  19. #109
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I know man... Ugh. It's just so f*cking hard to accept that this person who I legitimately fell for didn't really care about me at all and just used me for attention/as a rebound. God damn
    until you learn the lessons you're going to learn now, it was inevitable this would happen.

    Think of this as a blessing. With this exposure you'll not fall victim to this again. In fact thank it for happening, so you can grow and become stronger from it.
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  20. #110
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    4 months down the f*cking drain. We were texting today and she randomly sent me this:

    "Hey.

    I have been thinking a lot about us lately, and where our relationship is headed. I'm feeling uncertain about our future, and I donโ€™t think that's a good sign. You're really special and you deserve to be with someone who is ready to give you that relationship youโ€™re looking for.

    We are a great match in many ways- you're attractive, funny, and we have fun together. But for whatever reason, I'm not feeling strongly enough about this, and I know at this point in my life that it is important to me to have that strong connection with someone. You deserve real feeling and enthusiasm and for whatever reason I just can't deliver that to you right now. I have been waiting for stronger feelings to come because we seemed compatible, but they just havenโ€™t.

    I don't want to be in your way and hold you back from you the life you will be living soon with someone who is ready for that, and knowing that's not me I think it is best to free you up. I really really struggled with this decision because I like you and don't want to hurt you. I didn't make it lightly but I feel sure it's the right thing. Iโ€™m really sorry about it. You have been very sweet to me over the past few months. You can call me to talk if you want to. I am writing this to you because I am very selfish and donโ€™t want to see you hurt. If you do need more closure though, I can talk on the phone. I wish you all the best."

    I called her after I got this and we talked for a few minutes. She essentially said that she liked me, felt we had chemistry, and blah blah blah, but she was waiting for feelings to come and they never did. She also said she feels "heartless" or like she doesn't have emotions right now.

    A few other things to note:

    -The biggest thing... We started dating pretty much immediately after her last relationship, which was a 2-3 year relationship
    -She's on lexapro (don't know for how long, but probably since before we met)
    -She had a kidney infection the past week and stopped taking her birth control last Wednesday, then just got back on it yesterday or something

    All bad signs, I know. BUT her and I had ridiculous chemistry in EVERY way and she was quickly becoming like a best friend as well as someone I was falling for, so I thought we were feeling the same and it would work. I was wrong. Apparently she never had real feelings for me (even though by her words she wanted them), all the while I'm legitimately falling in love with her. We had both agreed multiple times that we had crazy chemistry, which we also both agreed is extremely hard to find. She would also call me her boyfriend in text messages to friends (I know this because she'd text in front of me).

    Per the usual post-breakup I feel absolutely horrendous. This totally took me by surprise. I'm shocked, hurting to a point I can't even describe, and I feel like everything I was looking forward to in the near future has totally crumbled. I'm trying not to think about the good times we had, but I can't help it, and whenever I do it breaks me even further. We were supposed to hangout tomorrow, we were going to take a trip to the beach in two weeks (which I made reservations for), and she told me she would be there for me/with me when I moved (moving to a new place in the same area next month). All gone. All of it plus 4 months of time, memories, and me falling in love with her.

    This was one of the 2-3 girls EVER in 10-12 years of dating who I felt honest-to-god STRONG chemistry with. It hits even harder because I feel like I might never find this again. I also hate dating and was really happy to be out of that "game".

    I sent her this text after:

    "Hey I just wanted to say a few things that are on my mind because you said you feel heartless or like you don't have emotions right now. You told me that you're on anti-depressants. They can be great, but they also numb your emotions and make you think/feel differently than you otherwise would. Also, you said you stopped taking your birth control last week. I'm sure you already know this, but birth control messes with your hormones and starting/stopping can change the way you feel. On top of those factors, you just had a traumatic experience with that stalker guy and having this kidney infection. And lastly, I honestly don't think you gave "us" enough time. 3 months isn't even long enough to get over your ex of 2-3 years, let alone catch feelings for someone else. If you would have given us longer you might have caught feelings like I did. I'm not trying to change your mind and I respect your decision even though it crushes me, but I just wanted to make you aware of these things if you aren't already, because they may be influencing your feelings."

    It was from a 98% rational perspective. I really am not sure if it's a good thing she's breaking it off now, or if there was a chance she'd have eventually gotten feelings in the future if we kept seeing each other.

    It's all even more confusing, because a few weeks ago I sat down with her and told her if she needed/want space, or to see other people, or just to break it off or whatever--she could, and that she should do it right away. But she didn't want to. Then a few weeks later she does this.

    The best way I can sum up how I'm feeling is... Hopeless. Completely hopeless. I don't even know what to do or where to go now.
    didnt' read thread

    don't even know why I'm reading the rel section.

    Just wanted to note that you got more answers than most and should just move on

    edit: just got to the part about the herpes meds

    She broke up with you because she's having an outbreak aye lmao

    run *******

    If she's not telling you about it it's because she never intended on staying with you

    Edit 2:

    Goddamn she has a shelf full of heavy mental medications and posts lewds on snap chat and you're simping like a *******

    negged

    thomas had never seen such bullchit before
    Last edited by rectifryer; 09-13-2020 at 12:50 PM.
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  21. #111
    Registered User ChemicalBuilder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    4 months down the f*cking drain. We were texting today and she randomly sent me this:

    "Hey.

    I have been thinking a lot about us lately, and where our relationship is headed. I'm feeling uncertain about our future, and I donโ€™t think that's a good sign. You're really special and you deserve to be with someone who is ready to give you that relationship youโ€™re looking for.

    We are a great match in many ways- you're attractive, funny, and we have fun together. But for whatever reason, I'm not feeling strongly enough about this, and I know at this point in my life that it is important to me to have that strong connection with someone. You deserve real feeling and enthusiasm and for whatever reason I just can't deliver that to you right now. I have been waiting for stronger feelings to come because we seemed compatible, but they just havenโ€™t.

    I don't want to be in your way and hold you back from you the life you will be living soon with someone who is ready for that, and knowing that's not me I think it is best to free you up. I really really struggled with this decision because I like you and don't want to hurt you. I didn't make it lightly but I feel sure it's the right thing. Iโ€™m really sorry about it. You have been very sweet to me over the past few months. You can call me to talk if you want to. I am writing this to you because I am very selfish and donโ€™t want to see you hurt. If you do need more closure though, I can talk on the phone. I wish you all the best."

    I called her after I got this and we talked for a few minutes. She essentially said that she liked me, felt we had chemistry, and blah blah blah, but she was waiting for feelings to come and they never did. She also said she feels "heartless" or like she doesn't have emotions right now.

    A few other things to note:

    -The biggest thing... We started dating pretty much immediately after her last relationship, which was a 2-3 year relationship
    -She's on lexapro (don't know for how long, but probably since before we met)
    -She had a kidney infection the past week and stopped taking her birth control last Wednesday, then just got back on it yesterday or something

    All bad signs, I know. BUT her and I had ridiculous chemistry in EVERY way and she was quickly becoming like a best friend as well as someone I was falling for, so I thought we were feeling the same and it would work. I was wrong. Apparently she never had real feelings for me (even though by her words she wanted them), all the while I'm legitimately falling in love with her. We had both agreed multiple times that we had crazy chemistry, which we also both agreed is extremely hard to find. She would also call me her boyfriend in text messages to friends (I know this because she'd text in front of me).

    Per the usual post-breakup I feel absolutely horrendous. This totally took me by surprise. I'm shocked, hurting to a point I can't even describe, and I feel like everything I was looking forward to in the near future has totally crumbled. I'm trying not to think about the good times we had, but I can't help it, and whenever I do it breaks me even further. We were supposed to hangout tomorrow, we were going to take a trip to the beach in two weeks (which I made reservations for), and she told me she would be there for me/with me when I moved (moving to a new place in the same area next month). All gone. All of it plus 4 months of time, memories, and me falling in love with her.

    This was one of the 2-3 girls EVER in 10-12 years of dating who I felt honest-to-god STRONG chemistry with. It hits even harder because I feel like I might never find this again. I also hate dating and was really happy to be out of that "game".

    I sent her this text after:

    "Hey I just wanted to say a few things that are on my mind because you said you feel heartless or like you don't have emotions right now. You told me that you're on anti-depressants. They can be great, but they also numb your emotions and make you think/feel differently than you otherwise would. Also, you said you stopped taking your birth control last week. I'm sure you already know this, but birth control messes with your hormones and starting/stopping can change the way you feel. On top of those factors, you just had a traumatic experience with that stalker guy and having this kidney infection. And lastly, I honestly don't think you gave "us" enough time. 3 months isn't even long enough to get over your ex of 2-3 years, let alone catch feelings for someone else. If you would have given us longer you might have caught feelings like I did. I'm not trying to change your mind and I respect your decision even though it crushes me, but I just wanted to make you aware of these things if you aren't already, because they may be influencing your feelings."

    It was from a 98% rational perspective. I really am not sure if it's a good thing she's breaking it off now, or if there was a chance she'd have eventually gotten feelings in the future if we kept seeing each other.

    It's all even more confusing, because a few weeks ago I sat down with her and told her if she needed/want space, or to see other people, or just to break it off or whatever--she could, and that she should do it right away. But she didn't want to. Then a few weeks later she does this.

    The best way I can sum up how I'm feeling is... Hopeless. Completely hopeless. I don't even know what to do or where to go now.
    Bro sorry about that. But dont take it to hardly. Shes basically saying 'i wanna **** someone else' thats fine if she wants that. Just move on, find a better girl (you can easily get someone better) just do some fun stuff watch some good comedies, eat nice food, sleep it over youll be fine bro
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    OP I hate to tell you this, but girls don't do what she told you she did/was doing. Girls don't "wait for feelings to come". Especially not for months. If they aren't feeling it they dip out muuuuuuuuch sooner--like almost immediately. Remember how she told you that she went on other dates early on and that she didn't "feel" any of those dudes, but with you it was different, which is why she "chose" you? That was true. You two did have chemistry, but this was also a half truth. It's true you all were compatible, but her "waiting for feelings to come" was BS. She knew the entire time what she was doing. You were the best candidate to give her attention, affection, and to use as a rebound/placeholder boyfriend because of the chemistry. She dumped you because she finally couldn't handle the guilt of leading you on anymore.

    This is what happens in rebound relationships. The rebounder finds a suitable reboundee to fill the ex-bf/gf void, then after some time they realize the void isn't truly being filled and they aren't healing or feeling better because the reboundee isn't their ex. Truthfully, this would have happened to any guy who tried to date her seriously. You're just the unlucky bastard that got sucked in. Sorry OP.
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  23. #113
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    One thing she said on the phone that I didn't mention is "this is even more difficult because we're incredibly sexually compatible"
    Give yourself a pat on the back for this and stop thinking about anything else.

    IMO the things you've mentioned about her made it clear she was not ready for the relationship you were and if you dove into it things would've ended badly.

    Who cares if she "matures" into someone who'd make a relatively good partner or not as she's years away from that.
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    Didn't read all the replies but all i can tell you OP is girls don't just break up like that, it was coming. Now you have two choices you either learn from it and dwell on it. That situation seems to hit you hard. Let her go, if she come back then you'll know. Good luck
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    I think you are spending way too much energy analyzing this. You aren't feeling better after thinking of all these scenarios and going into loops, are you? Based on what you wrote, she is clearly not the person for you. Stop wasting energy on her and focus on yourself. I noticed another problem you have is the lack of an abundance mentality. You currently have a scarcity mindset and you seriously think this broad is the only one out there because of some meaningless connection you thought you had. Brah, plenty of women out there that are probably better. You have yet to meet them. I feel like every time I date someone or get into a relationship, I learn what I like and dislike. It is all a learning experience until you meet the right one...and you know what if your ex wanted to be with you, she would. The fact she is choosing everyday not to be with you is all you need to know. I honestly don't care what my exes think of me either way. Focus on yourself, bro.
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  26. #116
    ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿชณ snailsrus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I've heard about BPD. Bad news... You really think she's BPD?
    no. Not at all you would have been like wtf from like month 1 and way more out there. Sounds insecure or unsure youโ€™re srs about her. Just let her go and if she wants you sheโ€™ll reach out in a couple days/weeks. But just a warning insecurity like this shell keep going back and forth of her worth and until she is more secure, thinking someone can care about her cause she cares /loves herself. Right now she doesnโ€™t seem to love herself
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  27. #117
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    Assuming this isn't roll bread.


    Tour's over, don't try to reach out. Can't even hate on her, she told you that she's selfish and you told us that she has a lot of issues.


    Actually props to her for coming clean and not trying to string you along. You dodged a bullet, so cut your losses and move on.
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  28. #118
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    Originally Posted by snailsrus View Post
    . Sounds insecure or unsure youโ€™re srs about her.
    Lmao you cant be serious. Unsure hes into her? So she just breaks it off?

    Women logic at its finest
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  29. #119
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Look who it is, you single again?
    no actually but just in a pretty casual thing right now, not gunna marry this one but it works. but now I work from home so I get a bit bored during the day.
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    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post
    Lmao you cant be serious. Unsure hes into her? So she just breaks it off?

    Women logic at its finest
    She obviously didn't read or didn't understand everything ITT.

    The reason the girl in the OP broke it off is BECAUSE she knew he was serious. She knew he wanted more with her, but she didn't want more with him. Whether she was truthful about not being over her ex (and thus not being able to "love" anyone else) or not, THAT is why she broke it off.

    I 100% believe this girl knew what she was doing the entire time and used him in an attempt to "cure" her own lonliness and pain from her previous relationship. Then when things started getting super-duper-serious, she started feeling guilty.
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