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  • I was a big mofo until I met this gal and we got...

    I was a big mofo until I met this gal and we got a dog together. The gal left, and I spent time with my dog instead of spending time in the gym. The black Labrador lived to be 15. I started...
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    All the evidence has been destroyed.

    All the evidence has been destroyed.
  • There's a lot of pachyderms in the southern...

    There's a lot of pachyderms in the southern hemisphere too. I wouldn't want to tangle with a hippo. They can swim underwater and bite your boat in half.
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    Did she start the ankle/leg warmer movement? I...

    Did she start the ankle/leg warmer movement? I remember those were the rage in '82. I was driving a moped back then. Not old enough to drive a car.
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    I mowed a bunch of lawns at my rental properties...

    I mowed a bunch of lawns at my rental properties Saturday. I was drinking fluids but still lost 4 pounds during mowing. Yesterday I picked up the shirt I was wearing and it was crusty from the...
  • On all single dumb bell exercises, I can do more...

    On all single dumb bell exercises, I can do more reps to failure with my left arm than my right arm. My left testicle is also larger than my right. I've been told this by several members of the...
  • You have to have all the amino acids. Your...

    You have to have all the amino acids. Your limiting factor will be the amino acid that is in the lowest quantity.

    Civilization figured this out a long time ago. Fish was a good protein source...
  • Didn't want to quote the OP post because of too...

    Didn't want to quote the OP post because of too much stuff to delete.

    But she wanted a ring. 7 years is too long. I gave this lady a ring after 2 years. That was about 10 years ago.

    It's...
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    It was Sara Lee. Bread, eggs, cheese, cold cuts,...

    It was Sara Lee. Bread, eggs, cheese, cold cuts, burritos all go in the yard. Crows come and eat the stuff. The crows die from lead poisoning and fall down in my yard. The trash pandas eat the...
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    Bread question

    Some tenants of mine left behind a full loaf of bread. I went to feed it to my trash pandas. I threw out each slice of bread with my hands like a frisbee. Every slice of bread I threw with my...
  • It's a 75 minute drive for me, each way. But...

    It's a 75 minute drive for me, each way. But there are deer 47 yards from my back door. I don't hunt them, but let people renting houses for me do. They give me some of the meat.
  • I had some amaretto and chocolate chip ice cream...

    I had some amaretto and chocolate chip ice cream yesterday.
  • Thread: Diet Plan

    by paulinkansas
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    735

    Pardon my ignorance, but what is a cobra stretch...

    Pardon my ignorance, but what is a cobra stretch and butt kick?
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    This is like AIDS was in the early 80's.

    This is like AIDS was in the early 80's.
  • My dad is a doctor. Ask him the question and he...

    My dad is a doctor. Ask him the question and he would say that you are going to die.

    My mom is a doctor too. Ask her the question and she would say that you are going to be fine.

    The answer...
  • One of my testicles hangs lower than the other. ...

    One of my testicles hangs lower than the other. Therefore the bulge in my pants is not symmetrical. I don't lose any sleep over it. One of my labrador retrievers testicles hangs lower than the...
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    German shephards will also work. Source: ...

    German shephards will also work.

    Source: Joey, Ginger, Sonny, Butch, Sonny II, Sonny III, Lucky, Katie and Coyotee.
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    Can you get a bicycle for your mode of...

    Can you get a bicycle for your mode of transportation?

    Not to sound disrespectful, but my town is full of people on meth. They all ride bikes while wearing a backpack. Some of them have broken...
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    I saved its shell, skull and feet with its claws....

    I saved its shell, skull and feet with its claws. Boiled them in a stock pot to remove remaining meat, then let them dry. It's all going to be displayed on a stained piece of wood in one of my...
  • That's what I take.

    That's what I take.
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