Well done, Cherry.
Great progress!
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Well done, Cherry.
Great progress!
Hi mrs. Cherry! How is it going? I hope you're doing fine! I can tell by your last picture that you've made an AMAZING progress. Congratulations!!
After more than a year gone, I'm back here and just by reading your log I'm 100% inspired by you again.
Are you still on keto?
Happy New Year Cherry!
[img]http://thumbs.gfycat.com/PoorHauntingEagle-max-1mb.gif[/img]
Where you at Cherry? We all are waiting for an update!
Thanks so much everyone for checking up on me....I can't believe my last log post was on 12th Dec last year! I really hope to do abit more logging even if once a week minimum.
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CONFESSION TIME
I hadn't weighed myself in about a month or so...then stepped on the scale yesterday and it read 253.5 pounds....I damn near cried....almost exactly a year ago I had reached my all time lowest weight of 220 pounds....in the last 6 months or so my life has been feeling like it's been falling apart and it has shown in the way that I ate and have since gained 30 pounds which is unacceptable.....I remember telling myself that if I reached 240 it was the last straw but now reached 250 (meaning journey to 300) which is UNACCEPTABLE!
In real life I am too embarrassed to tell anyone, and had began to isolate as I could notice my clothes getting tighter and in denial that I can handle it...so I have decided to make this my outlet once again to just log my journey to lose the regain....30 freakin pounds of regain! It sneaks up on you and initially you tell yourself it's no big deal I can lose it, then up 10, 20 and now 30 pounds....so enough is enough!
I have still been eating low carb but instead of sticking to where I started (20g carbs per day), the past few months got obsessed making low carb desserts and my carb count gradually creeped up to 50g carbs per day (sometimes reaching 70g carbs sigh!). It's such a slippery slope, the more carbs you add in the more you crave....so i really need to focus and remind myself where I started and how far I've come so that I don't keep sliding backwards, undoing all the hard work I've put in. I have been eating on average 3000cals per day the past 3 months or so which is embarassing to write but I need to tell the truth to help keep myself accountable and have a fresh start.
My new goals as of tomorrow will be to stick to no more than 1,800 cals per day (go back down to 30g MAX per day which will be realistic for me). Still on keto.
Yesterday after stepping on the scale I decided to take some measurements...my hips have gone up 2 inches in just afew months which made me almost cry, so has my waist and my bust by like 1.5inches....so the next couple of months my goal is to lose the inches and regain.
Exercise: I also have been completely demotivated to workout, i'll go hard at the gym for like 3 days then be off for like a week, then go hard for 4 days then not workout for like 2 weeks. Which is also unacceptable, so my realistic goal for now will be to do 4 days a week no matter what 2 days strenth training and 2 days cardio and see how it goes.
Logging: I stopped regularly logging over a year ago and would check in every couple of weeks to give a mini update. I guess I thought I was doing okay dealing with life and so didn't really need to log anymore. I realize now that it's not the case...i NEED to log, and even though I don't think i can ever get back to being as active on here as I used to be...I want to try to give minimum at least a weekly update, but hoping to login several days a week....logging used to be part of my daily ritual where I would write daily what I had eaten, my workout and how I was feeling....sending out that information into the universe helped keep me accountable to myself and made me feel accountable to others on here walking the same journey and I always got encouragement (never judgement) and that helped keep me going. So i really want to try get back into that rhythm....it only takes a couple of minutes to log daily but for some reason everything else seems more important.
I also for a long time made boring monotonous meals so I want to start putting more effort into my meal prep to make tastier dishes to not get bored with the same old things.
STATS: I shall edit my stats to reflect my current weight....it really really sucks to have to deal with regain and adjust my current weight to 253 but I've been neglecting the reality of the problem the past couple of months but now want to face it head on using the accountability system that helped keep me going the first time round.
THOUGHTS: Past couple of months I've really been struggling mentally and emotionally just struggling with feelings of inadequacy, feeling like i'm not where I wanted to be at this point in my life and to be honest feeling like a failure....Because I was severely morbidly obese my whole life, I held myself back from everything because of how society made me feel so bad about myself...to the point where I honestly believed I was worthless and shutdown and lived like a hermit at my highest weight of 378 pounds....now at 250 pounds, life is different I am active and feel energetic but I am nowhere near where I want to be careerwise and lifewise because I held myself back all those years ago. And those are the things that I have been struggling with, self confidence, self esteem issues, etc. But as of last week have gotten myself a bunch of self help books and being watching loads of youtube videos on positivity that are letting me know that it's never too late and that you can always turn your life around as long as your willing to let go of the past and look to the future. Much easier said than done but i'm willing to put the work in to get there, so gotten a bunch of workbooks and will make time daily to start logging in my goals in life and vision to change my life to become the person who I feel I was always meant to be. Ontop of it all I have been suffering deeply from loneliness, at 37 everyone I know is married and raising a family, and for a long time I just couldn't help feeling sorry for myself wondering what could have been so so wrong with me that no guy ever saw it fit to marry me...And I think i'm suffering even more from it now because I've lost a bunch of weight and thought that it would have been the solution to find someone, but still no one in sight. It's not easy to write these things out, but I've decided that from now on it's better to just write out and get it out of my system because bottling all these emotions and sadness in has been leading me to a depressive state that I'm really fighting to get out of....and to reflect that state of mind I've gone back to eating my emotions hence the weight regain which I now have to deal with ontop of everything. The self help books have let me know that I need to work on me first and learn to love myself first because I'm no good to anyone with my current state of mind (or even be able to love anyone) if i'm so so broken myself. So will take time to work on myself, do things I enjoy for myself, rebuilding myself and regaining my confidence and self love because if i don't love myself then how will others love me. I shall make time for me. Anyway, that's enough of that for now....I hope to be giving regular updates on how i'm feeling and if i'm making any progress in that area as well.
[QUOTE=cherrygarcia80;1546039671]Thanks so much everyone for checking up on me....I can't believe my last log post was on 12th Dec last year! I really hope to do abit more logging even if once a week minimum.
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CONFESSION TIME
I hadn't weighed myself in about a month or so...then stepped on the scale yesterday and it read 253.5 pounds
In real life I am too embarrassed to tell anyone, and had began to isolate as I could notice my clothes getting tighter and in denial that I can handle it...
My new goals as of tomorrow will be to stick to no more than 1,800 cals per day (go back down to 30g MAX per day which will be realistic for me). Still on keto.
My realistic goal for now will be to do 4 days a week no matter what 2 days strenth training and 2 days cardio and see how it goes.
I NEED to log, and even though I don't think i can ever get back to being as active on here as I used to be...I want to try to give minimum at least a weekly update, but hoping to login several days a week.
I also for a long time made boring monotonous meals so I want to start putting more effort into my meal prep to make tastier dishes to not get bored with the same old things.
STATS: I shall edit my stats to reflect my current weight....it really really sucks to have to deal with regain and adjust my current weight to 253 but I've been neglecting the reality of the problem the past couple of months but now want to face it head on using the accountability system that helped keep me going the first time round.
I am nowhere near where I want to be careerwise and lifewise because I held myself back all those years ago. And those are the things that I have been struggling with, self confidence, self esteem issues, etc.
Ontop of it all I have been suffering deeply from loneliness, at 37 everyone I know is married and raising a family, and for a long time I just couldn't help feeling sorry for myself wondering what could have been so so wrong with me that no guy ever saw it fit to marry me...And I think i'm suffering even more from it now because I've lost a bunch of weight and thought that it would have been the solution to find someone, but still no one in sight.[/QUOTE]
Cherry, we all missed your updates. Your log has really inspired a lot of people to try harder.
I shortened up your post to show your goals more clearly. Hopefully, you can refer back to it and remember why you started.
On a side note, if you lived near me, I'd totally ask you on a date. You are a really motivated, sweet, caring, person. Please don't feel like no one out there cares about you. I promise plenty of us do!
[QUOTE=GirthRogers;1546041241]Cherry, we all missed your updates. Your log has really inspired a lot of people to try harder.
I shortened up your post to show your goals more clearly. Hopefully, you can refer back to it and remember why you started.
On a side note, if you lived near me, I'd totally ask you on a date. You are a really motivated, sweet, caring, person. Please don't feel like no one out there cares about you. I promise plenty of us do![/QUOTE]
Thanks so much for checking up on me when I went M.I.A....and also for the words of encouragement now. Wow, you've actually helped bullet all my major goals for now which is great as I want to start writing those out for myself daily in my own personal journal....somehow when typing I'm incapable of writing short concise sentences and I always end up rambling on and on lol.
And thanks! :) I think I'm in a slightly better state of mind after getting alot of those feelings off my chest and also now with my new found focus on life goals I'll just keep busy working on being the best version of myself emotionally, mentally and physically....and if someone comes along well and good but if not will keep fighting off any negative feelings towards myself and just keep focusing on all the positive and keep forging on. However if anything interesting happens will post on here :)
I wish you were in Central PA. I’d come find you and give you a big bear hug! I absolutely hate the way that our society makes people feel about themselves if they don’t fit into a certain mold of what we (the collective “we” as in general societal expectations) think they should be. Hang in there, and absolutely keep using this log and forum as a sounding board to get things off your chest rather than letting them fester inside of you. You need an outlet, and we’re happy to be your virtual listening ears or shoulder to cry on.
[QUOTE=Imp81318;1546051831]I wish you were in Central PA. I’d come find you and give you a big bear hug! I absolutely hate the way that our society makes people feel about themselves if they don’t fit into a certain mold of what we (the collective “we” as in general societal expectations) think they should be. Hang in there, and absolutely keep using this log and forum as a sounding board to get things off your chest rather than letting them fester inside of you. You need an outlet, and we’re happy to be your virtual listening ears or shoulder to cry on.[/QUOTE]
Thanks so much for the kind words! Yes it's really sad the impact that society can have on people breaking them down....I've been like that my entire life and this year have decided to really try and fight/change my mindset for the better.
In my earlier days on this journey when I was logging here daily it really helped me have an outlet for all my negative emotions so was able to focus on my journey...so I'm really hoping to try to get back to it so that I can let all the hurt out and be able to heal and move on from how I've felt my entire life. I have always been so grateful to all of you in the community here as I always got so much encouragement which helped keep me going....so I'm hoping to keep at it once again.
Good to see you back!
[QUOTE=phoenix4444;1546066011]Good to see you back![/QUOTE]
Thanks girl! Great to see you back as well! I'm hoping to be abit more consistent with logging this time round. I hope all's been well with you too...will do the log rounds soon.
Today have eaten within calorie count (below 1800 cals), not because i was trying to but had a long day and didn't get a chance to eat my first meal till much later in the day.
From tomorrow I'm officially getting back to strict keto, 1800cals goal (30g carbs). I'm abit nervous about that because for the past 3 months I've been eating at about 1000cals above that due to emotional/comfort eating sigh! So switching back to being disciplined won't be easy, but will have to remember that if I could do it before then I can do it again.
Signing up again for the gym tomorrow (after a 3 week hiatus sigh!)....with the earlier mentioned goal of making it in there 4 times a week.
I intend to try to log my activities/food daily...hoping i can stick to it this time for accountability purposes because when on my own i switch to IDGAF mode and end up going backwards instead of forwards.
[QUOTE=cherrygarcia80;1546156591]Today have eaten within calorie count (below 1800 cals), not because i was trying to but had a long day and didn't get a chance to eat my first meal till much later in the day.
From tomorrow I'm officially getting back to strict keto, 1800cals goal (30g carbs). I'm abit nervous about that because for the past 3 months I've been eating at about 1000cals above that due to emotional/comfort eating sigh! So switching back to being disciplined won't be easy, but will have to remember that if I could do it before then I can do it again.
Signing up again for the gym tomorrow (after a 3 week hiatus sigh!)....with the earlier mentioned goal of making it in there 4 times a week.
I intend to try to log my activities/food daily...hoping i can stick to it this time for accountability purposes because when on my own i switch to IDGAF mode and end up going backwards instead of forwards.[/QUOTE]
Are you going to start swimming again?
Treadmill cardio is terrible!
Load up some new music, it'll really help each day.
I know you can make it 4 times a week, I have faith in you!
Rooting for you hard cherry. You got this.
I feel your struggles as I too gained weight, 35 pounds. I stopped logging, lifting, and did not care to do anything about it but wallow in self pity and be depressed. But still buried deep down was a little seed of hope that I could turn my life around again. I know you have that seed of hope as well. The struggles are many but we both will overcome, one baby step at a time.
[QUOTE=GirthRogers;1546157741]Are you going to start swimming again?
Treadmill cardio is terrible!
Load up some new music, it'll really help each day.
I know you can make it 4 times a week, I have faith in you![/QUOTE]
Thanks! And For workouts I'm hoping to do 2 days strength training and 2 days cardio...and lol! you must have read my mind because i've done a new playlist for the cardio days which i dread! I hope to get back to swimming someday, it used to be convenient when I was signed up at a gym that had a pool, but switched gyms like a year ago to one without as it was much cheaper plus i had stopped swimming for quite a while at the one with so it didn't make sense to keep paying extra if i wasn't using the pool anymore.
[QUOTE=phoenix4444;1546189561]Rooting for you hard cherry. You got this.
I feel your struggles as I too gained weight, 35 pounds. I stopped logging, lifting, and did not care to do anything about it but wallow in self pity and be depressed. But still buried deep down was a little seed of hope that I could turn my life around again. I know you have that seed of hope as well. The struggles are many but we both will overcome, one baby step at a time.[/QUOTE]
Thanks girl! And wishing you all the best too! And you are so right, hope is everything! I was always so inspired by how heavy your lifts were so I'll be checking into your journal for some motivation soon :) At some point I thought logging was a bother and removed it off my priority list (in the past was top) and thought I was fine without it but realize now just how important it was for me to stay connected to a community that was going through the same journey and so was motivating to keep going (instead of isolating like i did)...so i'm really hoping to stick to it this time round.
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So today I've eaten within cals for the day (1724 cals) and within carb count (25g) which for me is more important....that's it for the day as i'm hoping to semi-intermittent fast from now on, so i'm drinking lots of herbal tea and water to keep me full till bedtime and will tell myself no more midnight snacking as I was doing it out of boredom and not actual hunger.
Unfortunately I failed on my second goal of the day and didn't sign up to the gym (but glad i ate within cals as that is most important above all else).....this week i have a work deadline which is kinda stressing me out and so it's always "easiest" to kick out gym time which is unfortunate because it's a real stress buster and mood lifter as i always feel so good and accomplished when i've done my workout for the day....so will try and make it work!
I food prepped some ground beef (and portioned out and put in fridge and freezer), which i'm really glad about so i have meals for the week....I prepped cabbage as well but grossly over salted it :( :( so had to throw that out....but at least vege prep is easier so will sort that out.
I'm trying to quit peanut butter...it's one of the things i've been snacking on which was leading both my calorie count and carb count alot higher than it should be....I'd actually quit it for about a year, then afew months ago decided to buy it just that one time and month's later i'm still hooked sigh! So today I really wanted some but had none, i'm so proud of myself for that.
Final goal of the day was that I've actually logged so I'm really glad about that as well...hoping to keep it up daily.
[QUOTE=cherrygarcia80;1546242311]
I'm trying to quit peanut butter.[/QUOTE]
Good luck, that stuff is like creamy crack. You might think you are quitting it, but you'll get cravings for the rest of your life. It's just the nature of the beast!
Seriously though, what other veggies are you prepping? I've been snacking on cucumbers a lot lately. They seem to help me out a lot.
[QUOTE=GirthRogers;1546246061]Good luck, that stuff is like creamy crack. You might think you are quitting it, but you'll get cravings for the rest of your life. It's just the nature of the beast!
Seriously though, what other veggies are you prepping? I've been snacking on cucumbers a lot lately. They seem to help me out a lot.[/QUOTE]
Haha about peanut butter being like creamy crack! I'm now off it for 2 days but craving it like crazy so will see how long I last this time without it sneaking it's way back into my diet sigh!
For veggies i usually like cabbage, or cauliflower, or broc**** and recently getting back into zoodles (zuchini noodles) which i really like.
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Day 2 of getting back on track
- Foodwise: Have eaten within cals and carbs for the day 1786 cals and 30g carbs yay! I was so proud of myself yesterday for not sneaking into the kitchen at midnight for a snack, my stomach grumbled and was a mental fight but so proud of myself that i succeeded, the hunger pangs today have been alot less and more tolerable. I'm doing loose IF with an 8 hour eating window and 16hrs fasting....so far so good.
- Exercise: I was stressed with work but decided to make time to get my butt back into the gym...so i'm really glad i'm back, did about 40mins of strength training and towards the end felt ontop of the world....tomorrow will be cardio day so not so much lol. I really will try to find a work/gym balance because it really is a natural stress buster....i can't keep taking 2-3 week breaks because it always sets me back from any gains i made...but glad to be logging once again to keep accountable.
- dumbbell curl and press: 3 x 8 - (12 pound dumbbells)
- barbell squats: 3 x 15 - (40 pound barbell)
- deadlifts: 3 x 10 - (50 pound barbell)
- reverse lunges: 2 x 10 (12 pound dumbbells)
- one hand rows: 4 x 10 (20 pound dumbbell)
- dumbbell swings: 4 x 10 (20 pound dumbbell)
- tricep pull down machine: 3 x 8
Not bad for my first day back after a 3 week hiatus. Tomorrow will do an hour of cardio.
Edit: Forgot to udpate my weight, in the morning was 248.9, I'm pretty sure it was water weight loss but I was so glad to get below 250 pounds...I'm still in shock after having seen the scale up at 253 pounds last week because that's the journey back up to 300 which I never would ever want to see again. Next goal is to get below 245.
Today has been good so far.
Foodwise: Have eaten within my IF eating window and kept within cals (1797) and carbs (24g) so i'm really glad about that, I got emotional today and had some hunger pangs thereafter and really fought to not cave in and so proud of myself that i didn't, after all these years I am still an emotional eater, always wanting to turn to food for comfort so it's something I'll have to monitor for the rest of my life, to not let food take over. I caved in on my decision to quit peanut butter grrrrrr!!!! So after a 2 day PB hiatus, i had some today....but what i'm glad about is that i made it fit within the days macros so i'm okay with that.
Gym: I did not go to the gym and dissapointed with myself for that, as I prioritized work and other people before my own goals and now feeling really crappy about that....so hoping to go in there tomorrow and always put me first.
Emotional state: So I've been an emotional wreck for almost 2 months now which really really sucks. To make a long story short, about 2 months ago I bumped into a guy who i was in elementary school with, hadn't seen him in decades, but he remembered me and he walked up to me and said hi and even said he was so and so as he wasn't sure if i'd remember him. So i took a chance and gave him my number. The first couple of days were bliss, he texted me and we were texting back and forth and he even called me up two times that week and each time we talked for like an hour catching up on where we'd been over the years. He sounded genuinely interested in me (or at least i thought he was)...and me being me, of course i started to think that there was something there and foolishly started to fall for him. But then shortly after, he started to go quiet, hardly texting unless i did, then he'd give a short or no reply. So after a week's silence i called him and we spoke for a while and seemed like what was a great conversation of which he ended the call by saying he'd like for us to meetup that weekend. I was so excited I even picked out an outfit knowing we'd meet up as he had specified either that Friday or Saturday....that weekend came and no word from him, another week of silence passed by and i texted asking him what happened to our meetup. Still silence...a month passed by and still silence and at this point i obviously feel really foolish and know that he is not at all into me but decided 2 days ago to call him (after a month of him not contacting me)....and the first thing he said when he picked the call is that it was such a coincidence that i called because "apparently" he thought of me that morning (i was rolling my eyes at that point)....then on the call he went on to say that i went M.I.A....to which point i was so upset but tried to act like i wasn't and said no he went M.I.A then he said he remembers that he owes me a coffee date...to which i said yes he does....then he said as it's been busy he'll try make sure it happens before the end of the month (the date was 12th meaning for him he was talking about another 3 weeks or so from then)...i'm guessing he was hoping that it would be enough time to not have to talk to me.
What bothers me is not the fact that he isn't interested in me, it's the fact that he said that we should meetup that weekend and said he'd call...when he knew very well he had no intention of doing so. If he was just blunt to begin with and just said he isn't looking to get into anything serious or isn't interested i'd have respected him so much more, i'd have known to just move on and not keep hanging on to nothing.
I was so upset after that call and balled my eyes out, as before i had been in denial that maybe he really was just busy...but at that point i knew he just wasn't interested. What upset me most is that he left me hanging thinking that something could possibly happen (a whole month ago) when he said he wanted us to meetup knowing very well that he never intended to. So basically after the first week of bliss (where he would be the one texting first and calling me up acting like he was interested) thereafter he completely stopped contacting me but kept me hanging on. I feel so foolish, but what makes me sad is that i'm just so SAD! And can't seem to get out of being sad. I feel so hurt and have cried so many times the past month over someone who i feel disrupted what was my normal functional life. Before bumping into him i wasn't particularly happy about being single but it had been so long since anyone had taken an interest that i was okay dealing with singlehood. But then someone came along who showed interest (for about 2 seconds) then just left me hanging and now i'm an emotional mess/wreck. I am embarrassed to say that i've checked my phone about 100 times each day for the past month hoping it was him calling or texting but nothing. So now i'm left in emotional shambles and is part of the reason why the past 2 months i've been eating close to 3000cals on an almost daily basis and didn't even bother going to the gym for a couple of weeks.
I hate that someone else (who obviously doesn't care about me) can have such an effect on me and i just want to move on!!! i'm so tired of the hurt and the pain...as i guess it's just the thought that i had met "the one" which is obviously not the case. And i'm so glad that i decided on monday (3 days ago) to make the decision to get back to my journey because i cannot give someone else so much power over my life to take me backwards on the one thing in life that i've ever succeeded at which was losing this freakin weight. When i saw 253 pounds on the scale i was so mad at myself that i'd gone over the 250 pound mark which i had left behind 1.5yrs ago!!!
I didn't mean for this to be so long but i just wanted to write it out to hopefully help get it all out of my system so that i can move on. Today has been my 3rd successful day of eating right within my alloted calorie and carb counts and i'm so proud of myself for sticking to that. Now i need to get back to consistent gymming because that helps with getting frustration out and stress. The reason i currently have excess workload (almost falling behind on my work deadline) is because all those foolish emotions actually affected my work and i'd find myself just feeling so sad that i could hardly function.
However i'm getting myself back on track with each passing day. And no matter what happens i shall not emotional eat over someone who doesn't give a crap about me.
I realize now more than ever that the way i have dealt with this situation shows just how bad the level of my low self esteem and low confidence issues are and something like this only raised them to the surface where I am in such desperate need of attention to the point that i can let someone walk right over my heart. I have recently been watching alot of self help videos that talk about being secure in being single, that first you need to work on yourself and love yourself before you can love others or let others love you. Clearly i do not love myself or i wouldn't be letting anyone walk all over me like this. So i think one way of showing self love is to get back on my journey and lose the regained weight and keep going strong...when i was focussed on my journey i felt ontop of the world and no one could mess with me. But when i lost track is when i started to see all these cracks once again.
Anyway, will try do shorter updates on how i'm doing emotionally...but i think just letting all this out will be the beginning of helping me to heal and will then help get me back to putting me first.
TL;DR: Guy showed interest, i fell for him, then he lost interest and went no contact and now I'm devastated and trying to move on.
[QUOTE=cherrygarcia80;1546445451]
TL;DR: Guy showed interest, i fell for him, then he lost interest and went no contact and now I'm devastated and trying to move on.[/QUOTE]
Cherry, you deserve better than what you received. Leading a girl on is a lot simpler than clearly breaking it off. It's wrong, but that's what he did.
You are stronger today than you were yesterday and tomorrow you'll be stronger than today. It might not be what you want, but it's what you need right now. Inner strength won't get you that D-bag, but it might lead you to a great guy that you can marry then divorce later. :)
On a lighter note, I told you that peanut butter was creamy crack! You gotta get it out of your house or you'll keep going back to it!
[QUOTE=GirthRogers;1546471691]Cherry, you deserve better than what you received. Leading a girl on is a lot simpler than clearly breaking it off. It's wrong, but that's what he did.
You are stronger today than you were yesterday and tomorrow you'll be stronger than today. It might not be what you want, but it's what you need right now. Inner strength won't get you that D-bag, but it might lead you to a great guy that you can marry then divorce later. :) [/quote]
Thanks for the kind words, life sometimes!...and you are so right today i feel abit better than i did yesterday and abit better than i did the day before that, and with each passing day that i stay on course with my journey it means that i am putting myself first taking care of me and moving on from the situation.
[quote]
On a lighter note, I told you that peanut butter was creamy crack! You gotta get it out of your house or you'll keep going back to it![/QUOTE]
Damn that peanut butter haha! I gave the jar to my brother on monday and told him not to let me have it.....i had to damn near fight it off his hands to have some yesterday lol! Yep just like crack! Once that jar is done i'm not going to buy another it's the only way.
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So I stepped on the scale and it read 246.5 pounds!!!yay! I am so so glad, just a week ago I was exactly 7 pounds heavier!!! I'm guessing most of it is water weight but i'm fine with that because it still shows that i'm doing something right. I feel so much better (physically, emotionally, mentally) because i feel like i'm slowly starting to get the focus i initially had for the weight loss journey, and with each passing day where i strictly stick to my goals i feel better about myself and have so much more strength to conquer the next day.
I almost let anger, frustration and emotions take over to comfort eat but I fought those urges off and felt so much better for it....i'll keep taking things one day at a time. I never want to see 250 on the scale ever again. My next goal is to get below 245 pounds.
Foodwise: Have stuck to the days calories and carbs (went over by a smidge which i'm fine with) 1812 cals and 27g carbs. Still doing 16:8 IF which i'm much more used to now and hunger pangs seem to have gone away which is great....i seem to have settled into a rhythm of 2 meals a day so i feel pretty full after each.
Exercise: Despite loads of work to do I got my butt into the gym and decided not to sacrifice that time as I always do...I'm so glad I went as I feel great that I did.
- dumbbell curl and press: 4 x 8 - (12 pound dumbbells)
- lateral raises: 4 x 12 - (12 pound dumbbells)
- deadlifts: 4 x 10 - (60 pound barbell)
- one hand rows: 4 x 10 (20 pound dumbbell)
- dumbbell swings: 4 x 10 (20 pound dumbbell)
Finished with 10mins rowing machine and 25mins spin bike. My energy levels were good throughout the workout which i'm glad about.
Thoughts: Today I feel so much better after getting that whole story out of my system, I feel so so much better today and was able to function with my workload almost at full capacity which I haven't been doing due to how down I was feeling about the guy. Plus kicking a$$ in the gym felt great too! I'm still not yet 100% but feeling close to normal for the first time in a while.
Today have eaten within my IF window (16:8) and within cals and carbs ....1769cals and 20carbs. Now that I've lowered my carbs to below 30g, hunger cravings have completely gone which I'm really glad about, today has been my 5th day of eating within cal and carb counts and I feel stronger each day I eat right.
No gym today...no excuse really. I won't go on the weekend either unfortunately, as tomorrow I have a long day, I'll be at my late cousin's memorial as it'll be exactly a year since he passed away, so will be with the family, and I've never ever managed to make it to the gym on a Sunday either so won't even attempt...will be back at it on Monday, but overall what matters most is that I'm focusing on my nutrition above all else.
Today have eaten within calories (1713 cals) however went slightly over on carbs (32g), did not eat the whole day and was ravenous thereafter so shoveled down my food when I finally got a chance to eat.
No exercise today, probably till monday.
Nice work cherry.
Hit the gym hard on Monday.
[QUOTE=phoenix4444;1546720931]Nice work cherry.
Hit the gym hard on Monday.[/QUOTE]
Thanks girl! 3 days no gym so will definitely be in there tomorrow!
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Today have eaten within calories (1793 cals), again abit over my carbs (34g)....so from tomorrow will be back to strictly below 30g carbs.
Did not workout today but hoping to kick a$$ at the gym tomorrow to make up for the 3 day break from it.
Today ate abit over cals but that's fine as long as my weekly calorie average is under 1800cals. Today ate 1863 cals and 27g carbs.
Managed to make it to the gym yay! It's crazy how even after going to the gym for almost 3 years straight now....when i take a break of like 3 days i start to get gym anxiety and almost psyche myself out from going which is crazy i know. It's not so much the cardio days, those are great as the cardio room is mostly women and machines are well spaced out. It's my strength training days because the weights section of my gym is abit small and cramped, so i always almost have a panic attack when walking to that area hoping that there will be a space for me to work out....so I always try to get the right before rush hour as it's usually okay, but once rush hour hits it's crowded with guys so on those days i end up doing cardio even if i didn't mean to.
Anyway, glad i did my strength training session today...there's afew regulars (guys) who say friendly hellos to me now which is really nice as it helps me feel abit more welcome there. Today did about 40mins of strength training:
- dumbbell curl and press: 4 x 8 - (12 pound dumbbells)
- barbell squats: 4 x 10 - (30 pound barbell)
- deadlifts: 4 x 10 - (60 pound barbell)
- one hand rows: 4 x 10 (20 pound dumbbell)
- dumbbell swings: 4 x 10 (20 pound dumbbell)
Finished with 10mins rowing machine and about 25mins on the spin bike. Was really happy with myself once I was done for the day.
[QUOTE=cherrygarcia80;1546841921]It's my strength training days because the weights section of my gym is abit small and cramped, so i always almost have a panic attack when walking to that area hoping that there will be a space for me to work out....so I always try to get the right before rush hour as it's usually okay, but once rush hour hits it's crowded with guys so on those days i end up doing cardio even if i didn't mean to.
Anyway, glad i did my strength training session today...there's afew regulars (guys) who say friendly hellos to me now which is really nice as it helps me feel abit more welcome there. Today did about 40mins of strength training:
[/QUOTE]
Hey Cherry, glad to see you are still going strong!
A word of advice about the weights section. (as well as a personal example)
The guys in the weight section probably aren't judging you or bothered by you at all. In fact, you might motivate some of them. I'll give you an example, myself.
I'm a bigger guy. I'm routinely benching 275+ for reps and I've been told that I look murderous on several occasions. That isn't my intentions at all, but my music and intensity leads me to have a thoroughly serious facial expression. That being said, one of the most motivational people I see between sets is this average looking lady who works her little heart out. She doesn't chat between sets, she isn't playing on her phone, and she isn't wearing make-up on some treadmill. She's a hard worker and is there with a purpose. When you go into the weight section, do it with purpose, and I promise no one will judge you negatively. You'll probably get a few silent admirers. If it's cramped, find a way to get that work out in. There will always be a corner or small space which you can use. Don't skip the weights and definitely don't get anxiety. You are better than both! Good luck!
[QUOTE=GirthRogers;1546857641]Hey Cherry, glad to see you are still going strong!
A word of advice about the weights section. (as well as a personal example)
The guys in the weight section probably aren't judging you or bothered by you at all. In fact, you might motivate some of them. I'll give you an example, myself.
I'm a bigger guy. I'm routinely benching 275+ for reps and I've been told that I look murderous on several occasions. That isn't my intentions at all, but my music and intensity leads me to have a thoroughly serious facial expression. That being said, one of the most motivational people I see between sets is this average looking lady who works her little heart out. She doesn't chat between sets, she isn't playing on her phone, and she isn't wearing make-up on some treadmill. She's a hard worker and is there with a purpose. When you go into the weight section, do it with purpose, and I promise no one will judge you negatively. You'll probably get a few silent admirers. If it's cramped, find a way to get that work out in. There will always be a corner or small space which you can use. Don't skip the weights and definitely don't get anxiety. You are better than both! Good luck![/QUOTE]
Thanks for the wise words, I really needed to read that today...usually what helps me is having my music on full blast to drown out any external "noise" when I feel like anxiety is checking in, but it's nice to hear it from an actual guy's perspective to be reminded that everyone for the most part is so busy focussing on their own workout and not bothered with what others are doing.
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Today was good, kept within both carb and cal count (1692 cals) and 25g carbs
Managed to get in the gym for cardio day....did 25mins elliptical and 40mins dreadmill.... tomorrow might be a rest day or weights day, will see how i'm feeling.
Overall feeling really good about myself, now on day 9 of getting back on track I've pretty much stuck to my goals of keeping calories, carbs and working out so I'm really glad about that. My stomach still starts to rumble around bedtime each night but I drink lots of hot herbal tea or water to help stop that, I got so used to walking into the fridge for a midnight snack the past couple of months so my mind/body must still not quite have adjusted yet, but I'm hoping if I stick to my programme the mindless food cravings will eventually go away.
Today morning was really glad to step on the scale and see 244.3 pounds...I've attained my first mini goal of getting below 245 pounds which I'm really happy about (getting further away from the 250 pound line that I hope to never see again). Next goal will be to get below 240 pounds. ...I still have 22 pounds of regain left to work on so will be slowly marching towards getting that off in the next couple of months.
Edit:
- Ate within cal and carb count (1769 calories and 29g carbs) so i'm really glad about that.
- Made today a rest day (as I had worked out monday and tuesday, so will be back to gym tomorrow for weights)
[QUOTE=cherrygarcia80;1546995131]Today morning was really glad to step on the scale and see 244.3 pounds...I've attained my first mini goal of getting below 245 pounds which I'm really happy about (getting further away from the 250 pound line that I hope to never see again). Next goal will be to get below 240 pounds. ...I still have 22 pounds of regain left to work on so will be slowly marching towards getting that off in the next couple of months.[/QUOTE]
I read your entire thread a while back and remember you having a final target. Was it 150 or something like that? I can't remember. Do you still have a finished goal in mind? I know you are hooked on Keto for life though. That's pretty awesome.
Congrats on getting under 245 lbs again, Cherry! You are well on your way toward your goals once again, and all of these little milestones along the way are great reminders of that. I too struggle with the habitual urge to snack at night when I finally sit down to relax at the end of the day. I'm not a big sweets guy, so my snack of choice is potato chips, pretzels, tortilla chips, etc. I have found that sunflower seeds in the shell work well to satisfy my urge to snack. They have the crunch aspect when breaking them open with my teeth to get the seed out, they're salty, and I can eat them all night long and only have a portion of a serving.