Cheating cholesterol test?
That's right. I am enlisting the help of all the evil geniuses (and google addicts) on ways to cheat on a test.
The test: Cholesterol.
That's right. I need to cheat on my cholesterol test.
On 24 Dec, I have a physical as required for my application for life insurance. In order to qualify for a lower rate, I need to get my numbers down a bit. I have adjusted my eating habits, am taking fish oil capsules, eating whole wheat, peanut butter, and have upgraded from no-exercise to dismal-amount-of-exercise. Small means of improving the numbers, but probably not enough before my deadline.
So... I call upon you to help me cheat.
Is there a way? Will extending the fasting period before the bloodwork (typically 12hrs) do any good?
Will a strict diet of bran (blegh!) and water for a couple days prior to the test do any good, or cause harm?
Aside from garlic and fish oil supplements, is there anything else that can be taken?
And aside from overall reduction... what will any of the above do to impact my HDL (good) to LDL (bad) ratios, with the goal of increasing HDL and decreasing LDL?
Long term... I need to get the numbers down anyway, so some permanent lifestyle changes will be taking place. But in the short-term, I need to get my total cholesterol down by 40pts and my triglycerides down just a smidgen, in about a week and a half.
Help a brudda out!
Cholesterol test cheating
This will improve your results but technically may not be cheating since it also improves your health:
1. Adhere to the following diet for 4 weeks prior to your test.
2. Limit fat, oil, sugar, jelly, soda, candy, ice cream, dressing, pizza, cheese, white bread, white rice, candy, fried food, eggs, etc....
3. Eat plain oat meal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar.
4. Eat plenty of vegetables and fruit.
5. Take about 1000mg fish oil daily or every other day.
6. Do aerobic excerise 3-4 times per week.
7. Foods that are ok are egg whites, turkey, chicken, some whole wheat pasta, bread, brown rice.
8. In general, cut back on your food consumption. No OJ, or juice. Water and red-wine (limited) is ok.
In the last week, where you are, you need to get drastic (as if you think the above is not drastic):
1. Oatmeal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar in the oatmeal.
2. Completely eliminate sugar from your diet.
3. Completely eliminate fat, oil, butter, ice cream, milk from your diet.
4. Drastically reduce carbs.
5. So what can you eat: Oatmeal, fruit, vegetables, chicken, turkey (plain), red kidney beans, peanuts, soybeans, almonds. Overall, eat less than normal.
6. Aerobic excercise every day.
Day before test.
1. Light breakfast of oatmeal.
2. Light lunch of fresh veggies and fruit.
3. No more food after lunch except a grapefruit for dinner.
4. Do an hour of aerobic excercise night before.
5. Go to bed early (since you'll be hating life and want the test to come soon).
6. Oh, all the water you want is ok....
Morning of test.
1. Aerobic excercise hard before the test.
2. No nothing to eat of course.
3. Take test.
4. Eat like a freaking pig.
Good luck. It will work.
