**The New Formula for Picking Up Chicks**

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Before I created my account here, I was a bb.com lurker for years, but that thread, created by Saucehead completely changed my life. As a result, I created my account here to thank him by helping other members who were not so fortunate as to experience those amazing lessons that I discovered.

The thread was permanently deleted it seems, with all SH's traces removed from the forum as well.

The lessons, however, were all logged and I wish to share them with you.

So here we go, please be patient as I will do this in increments:


[QUOTE] CONTENTS

Lesson #1-Being Prepared
Lesson #2-Creating Attraction
Lesson #3-The True Pick up Artist Bill of Rights
Lesson #4-Perception
Lesson #5-Lines
Lesson #6-Dating Show Education
Lesson #7-A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing!!!
Lesson #8-How to tailor to different girls
Series: Qualities of the Alpha Male
Series: Qualities of the Alpha Male
Series: Qualities of the Alpha Male
Lesson #10-Being a Go with the Flow type of Guy
Lesson: The Art of Approaching Women Part 1
Lesson: The Art of Approaching Women Part 2
Lesson #11-The Power of Teasing
Lesson #12-Progression of the AFC
Lesson #13-How to Make Yourself Look Better
Lesson #14-Supplication at its Worst
Lesson #15-You Want Her, You Don't
Lesson #16-Increasing Attraction
Lesson #17-Getting past the kissing
Lesson #18-CLASSROOM FLIRTING!!
How To Change Your Shyness
Part 1
Part 2
Lesson #19-Achieving things non-verbally
Lesson #20-Confusing women...Pay back Time![/QUOTE]

[b][color=blue][size=6]Lesson #1-Being Prepared[/b][/color][/size]

To get girls, you have to have a lot of factors working together for you.
But the single area that you have the most control over is your appearance.
Its a known fact that to create chemistry with a girl you have to know how
to connect with her emotions. Well taking excellent care of yourself will
automatically trigger part of her emotions right off the bat. Think about
that for a second. You don't even have to say a word to the girl and she'll
already be more willing to talk to you because you've triggered her emotions
with your appearance. With that being said, here are the guidelines to follow
for your appearance.

1-Workout Consistently-Ok I'm not saying that you have to look like Arnold or
some Calvin Klein underwear model, but you should definitely go to the gym 3-5x
a week and get yourself in decent shape.

2-Wear nice clothes-By "nice" I don't mean Gucci or Armani, just wear clean
clothes that fit your body type and style. I think the most important thing
here is to find a look that fits you. If your a skinny piece of ****, don't
go wearing XXL football jerseys and huge baggy pants. That will just magnify
that fact, that your incredibly underweight. Get a pair of white shoes and
black shoes. You can wear those colors with anything and it will show a girl
you have a sense of style.

3-Keep all areas clean-Girls are very perceptive. They notice the smallest
details about you. Get your haircut regularly. Keep all your nails clipped
and clean. Make sure if you have facial hair its always looking good. If you
have a fat goatee, then keep it combed, its hair isn't it. Get a beard trimmer
if you have that stubble look and keep it trim. Don't have a uni-brow, go to
your mom's bathroom and bust out the tweezer's. Same deal goes for nose hairs.
As far as other body hair goes, I trim everywhere else. Most girls, well the
hot ones, usually only like hair on your head and little bit above your unit.

4-Skin care-Take good care of your skin. Most guys wash their face with soap
and water and that's it. I like to go in the steam room after I work out,
and eat a lot of fruit. You will be surprised, its makes a huge difference
in the way your skin looks. Besides you don't want to break out the night
before you hang out with a hot girl.

If you put these four factors together, you should have a higher self-esteem.
This will make you more confident which is half the battle with the girls.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #2-Creating Attraction[/b][/color][/size]

When most guys hear a girl say "I'm so attracted to him," they automatically
think the girl is refering to the guy's looks. WRONG!!!!! When a girl says
she's attracted to a guy its much more than looks, if at all. All these years,
we've be bred to think that the way to a girl's heart is to buy her gifts,
call her a lot to show how much you care and put her above anything else.
Well in the real world that's the furthest thing from the truth. Now most guys
who realize this are quick to say, "To get chicks you have to be @ss-hole."
That's not true either. Why would a girl want to be with an @ss-hole??
To create attraction you need to understand these 3 principles:

1-Knowing what to say
2-Knowing how to say it
3-Knowing when to say it

Let me explain each of these in more detail:

1-Knowing what to say-If you know what to say to a girl, then you'll get
every girl you've every wanted. So how do you know what to say?? Its actually
pretty easy. Say the unexpected. The unexpected is what she subconciously wants
to hear, but when you say it, she'll say your mean and hit you. I am naturally
pretty funny, according to all my friends and family. So I use this to my
advantage to bust on the girl and give her a hard time in a non-threating type of way.

2-Knowing how to say it-Your voice tone is SOOOOO IMPORTANT!! Watch a Brad Pitt movie.
Analyze his voice in some of the lines he says. Fight Club is actually a really good
example of this because Edward Norton's tone of voice is like a mouse who got kicked
in the nutz. So you have a perfect example of how to sound and how you shouldn't sound.
Pitt's voice is deep and manly. If you think he just naturally talks that way,
then your fooling yourself. He practices at it, I can assure you of this.
Girls find this very seductive. The best place to practice your tone of voice is
on your cell phone voice mail. Think about this advantages of this.
Whenever girls call you and you don't pick up, they can hear your voice which
will trigger some of their emotions again.

3-Knowing when to say it- The "when to say it" part is not exactly what it seems like.
It basically means to say what your going to say within the context of the subject.
Meaning, if you guys are having a conversation about the beach,
don't change the subject and talk about school.

The basis of creating attraction is making sure you act like a man.
Girls are not attracted to wussies. A wussy is someone who is her "best friend"
dying in agony, hoping one day he might suddenly get to fuk her. He became a wussy
by calling her a lot, agreeing with everything she says and putting her above himself.
Don't be that guy. Always remember, that YOU are the most important person in your world.
Take care of yourself FIRST then focus on others. Being a man means having an opinion on
things. If a girl says something and asks yo how you feel, don't just agree with it
because you think that's what she wants to hear. Tell her your side without starting
an arguement. Agreeing with her all the time will also put you in the wussy catergory.
Often girls have tests. The will say some outrageous bullshiat to you, just to see if
you agree or finally have an opnion and disagree

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #3-The True Pick up Artist Bill of Rights[/b][/color][/size]

1-Thou shall always be talking to a minimum of 3-5 girls. Talking to only 1 shall result
in the terminal diease called ONE-ITIS! This diease is always fatal and
because it is so severe, it has 2 stages.

Common symptom of stage 1 ONE-ITIS are the following:

-thinking she's so much different from any girl you've met.
-thinking she is the most beautiful girl in the world.
-thinking she is very innocent and moral.


Common symptoms of stage 2 ONE-ITIS are the following:

-calling her 2-3x a day, just to talk.
-staying on the phone for 1-2 hours when she calls you.
-analyzing everything she says and does. Example: "I saw Mary-Beth in the hall today,
she looked my way, what did she mean by that???"
-completely ignoring every other girl who shows interest in you.
-asking anyone and everyone for advice and to analyze her actions.
-when asking for advice, you explain EVERY LITTLE FUKIN' DETAIL about what she was
wearing and how she smiled at you at 1:00pm so the listener can "understand completely."
-thinking your different from the 1,0000000000000 other "good guy friends" she has.

2-Thou shall not throw away any opportunity to practice your pimping skills.

I don't care if you have to practice on 13 year olds, grandma's, hookers etc.
As long as they are female, sharpen your PUA skills to perfection.

3-Thou shall use girls to get other girls.

Always take girls with you when you go out, because once other girls see you they'll
become intrigued and want to find out what all the fuss is about.

4-Thou shall not choose one girl over another.

If more than one girl wants you, don't choose. Bang both of them until one leaves.
That way you get the best of both world's

5-Finally, Thou shall read all pages on this thread, so Sauce-head does not have
to fukin' repeat himself over and over and over.

This is self explantory. If I don't have to repeat the same $hit over and over,
we have more time and space to discuss advanced pimpin' techinques.

[color=blue][b][size=6]Lesson #4-Perception[/b][/color][/size]

Everyone judges someone when the initially meet them. Whether they try to or not
they judge them. Well perception is key with girls. Let's say Billy-Bob is a virgin
who has never even kissed a girl. He studies up and learns the skills of becoming a
pick-up artist. He then applies these skills to the next girl he meets. The girl will
walk away thinking he's a great catch. She'll think he gets tons of hot girls, he's
slept with a lot of hot girls and he can get more hot girls whenever he wants.
This is what you want to do. You want to create a impressive image in the girl's
mind and make her wonder about you. This is commonly what's referred to as being
mysterious. So with that being said, here's the rules of perception.

1-Being busy-Let's say a hot girl you've been trying to bang calls you up today.
So when your small talking she'll eventually say, "what did you do today?"
Here's how a true pick up artist would respond. "Well I actually just walked in
the door as the phone was ringing, I've been busy running all types of errands
and stuff." Now in reality the true pick up artist could have sat home all day
jacking off 33x. But he's painting a picture in this girl's mind that he's very
busy and always has something to do. He also is very vague about what exactly he did.
Notice how the true pick up artist doesn't explain where he ran his errands.
That creates mystery. Girls are very jealous people. They will think that somewhere
along your errand trail you might have been with another girl. What does this do?
It makes them work harder for your attention and makes it that much easier for you
to score. Think about that? You can sit at home and beat the meat all day and actually
have a better chance of getting pu$$y..

2-Phone Skills-A true pick up artist also stays on the phone for a very brief
amount of time for 2 reasons.

a) The less time on the phone means the more mystery there is about you.
b) It prevents you from fuking up and saying something stupid if you only talk for 3 or 4 minutes.
c) It makes her think your busy.

Along with keep the phone conversation short, you should always end the conversation first.
This shows her your not needy and have other things to do. She'll think your talking to other girls.
3-Dates are for AFC's-NO FUKIN' DATES!!! You don't pick up a girl, buy her flowers and
pay for her dinner on a first date. You meet her at the beach and walk around or you meet
her at a coffee house and talk. She pays for her $hit, you pay for yours. Think of this
smokin' hot girl just like your best friend. The only difference is she has a really nice
pair of juggs and jell-o @ss.. Just like phone conversations, you keep the dates short.
Coffee should last about 40-45 minutes. If you ever wonder how long you a get together
with a girl should be, use common sense. If you went out with your buddy to get coffee,
you probably wouldn't be there for more than 30-40 minutes. Unless your one of those gothic
people who bring their guitar and hang out at the coffee shop for 3 hours. Now once you
guys have starting fukin' like chimps on Xstacy then you can get a little bit more flashy
with your get togethers.

4-Keep phone calls at a 3:1 ratio-I never ever call girls until they have called me 2 or 3
times. I'm not talking about calling a girl back. If a girl calls you, you should call
her back. I'm talking about initiating the phone coversation. If she bitches and says,
I always call you etc. then your doing good!!!

I'll get more into specfics about how you should be on phone conversations and get togethers
in a future "lesson."..LOL


More Rules of "The Game"

Once you've mastered the art of walking up to a girl and getting her number, there's
a whole different chapter on the rules from there on out. Such as when to call, what
to say etc. So let me discuss these rules a tad bit.

When to Call-Only call girls Sunday-Wednesday. Why?? Because they are more likely to
be available during these times of the week. By Thrusday, girls usually have plans for
that night and the rest of the weekend. Now during the summer I realize these rules are
a little different because schools out, etc. But during the summer most people work,
so stick to only calling Sunday-Wednesday.

What to say-When you call a girl, small talk for a minute or two and then lead into a
get together. Don't sit there like her bitch and listen to her problems and then ask her
to hang out. Remember your a man, not a wuss, you have better things to do. So after you
small talk immediately ask for a get together. You do this my first asking her what her
schedule is like for the week. She'll say I work this day until XXXX time and this day
I have school. So just pick a time after that, simple, she can't say no or lie to you.
If she says she can't then you find out she was not interested right away instead of
wasting months and months "hanging out" as friends..LOL

What if she doesn't answer?-Well this is where technology comes to your aid. The first
thing you should do before you call a girl is put your caller id block on. This gives
you a free phone call!!!! Its a win win situation. If she answers then you can talk,
if she doesn't then she'll never know who called her. Which leads me to my next point.
DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE!! Until you've made the first contact with a girl on the phone
don't leave a message. Because your still a stranger to her and even if she's interested,
she won't call you back(dumb chick logic).

3's the Charm-3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3!!! Why in the fuk am I typing 3 over and over again??
Because if you only learn one thing from this thread about phone calls it should be this number.
That's the MAXIMUM number of times you should call a girl when your trying to make the initial
contact with her. Here are the rules for this:

1st phone call-caller id block on, if she doesn't answer DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE. Why?
Because its a free-phone call, she'll never know who called... -dirty little trick

2nd phone call-caller id block on again, if she doesn't answer DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE.
Now the timing on the second phone call can be anywhere from a hour or two from the first
one or a day later. Because remember she doesn't know who called the first time.

3rd phone call-You put unlock the caller id. If she doesn't answer, leave a message.
Your message should say something cocky/funny. For example: (girl's name), its Sauce-head,
you can finally put on a clean diaper because your master has called you. Now I know
some of you are saying, "how cheesy" or "that won't make her call you back."
Well if you don't sell it right then it won't. That's why I mentioned your
voice tone earlier. Trust me, you say this right and sell it to her,
she'll call you back within a hour or two.

However, it should NEVER get to the point where you have to call her 2 or 3 times,
because if you used your PUA skills and laid down the cocky/funny, she will answer
her phone all day because she's been waiting for your call. Which leads me to my next point.

Jumping off the Mountain when your on Top!!-WTF does that mean? Remember when I said
to always end EVERYTHING first? Well make sure you end it when its at its peak!!!
If your on the phone with a girl and your making her laugh and giggle, she's obviously
enjoying the conversation. Well end it there!!!! Because when you guys get off the phone,
she'll be thinking about you the rest of the day. Same goes for get togethers,
make them want more. This is actually the rule I use when I'm hooking up too.
Just think of it this way. Take 2 steps back and she'll pull you 1,000 steps forward

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #5-Lines[/b][/size][/color]

I know girls tell you "lines" don't work. Well that's because they are not the right ones..
The key to understanding lines is to say them as if they are not a line. Does that make sense??
You can make these lines effective by hiding them in the middle of a conversation.
But here are common "lines" to use.

Openers:

-"Hi" and smile.
-"I noticed you when I walked in and wanted to talk to you."
-"Nice shoes" let's fuk.. just kidding

Closers:
- You:"What's your schedule like for the week?"
Her: Well I'm have work until XXXX time and school on this day."
You: You should join me for XXXX on this day.
-Its important that you say this line just like that. Tell her that your going somewhere
and she should JOIN you. This implies that you already had plans to go regardless of whether
she goes or not. This works much better than, "will you go out with me on Tuesday??" That's
the wussy way, your asking for her persmission.

Number Closer:

You know (girl's name) you seem like a lot of fun to be around, we should get together some time?"

-This works ESPECIALLY WELL on 9's and 10's because they are so use to getting the usual bull$hit
compliments about how "pretty they are." The powerful thing about this closer is, you are not
asking for her number. Your telling her she's fun to be around. She'll be so excited after you
tell her this that her next line will be "let me give you my number." I bet you $10000000 if
you do everything preceeding to this correctly that when you say this line,
her response will be to offer her number.

-Also by her offering YOU her number she'll emotionally think she likes you. Don't believe me?
Just think about how a girl interprets you walking up to her and saying "Can I have your number??"
She knows she has you by the ballz and its not exciting to chase a pushover. Food for thought.


These are the usual closers with varations depending upon what we were talking about
before and the social setting.


aproaching girls

this may be slightly different to how it works in america, or even girls in a different part
of england,but heres how it works wit the girls up here and id expect it to apply everwhere.

first off if you are with a group of guys and you see a group of girls hanging out,
dont stare drooling, dont shout stupid **** at them that makes you look like a dip****,
find something to start a conversation,look around, could be anything, i like to use a joke.
dont go up and go ''errr umm,hi how you erm doin?'' believe it or not many, many ***gots are
like this when talking to girls, they dont bite you know!

once you have started talking you can ask there names and ****,and ask a bit about themselves,
this is where it gets easy, girls like to rabit on about bull**** that you dont care about,
and you dont have to do much of the talking cos it will be hard to get them too shut
the **** up,dont praise them, thats for ***gots,a nice compliment here and there wont hurt,
but sucking up and telling them how pretty they are is for loosers and wont get you nowhere
apart from looking desparate.

take it from there,you can swap phone nos and see each other later, go on to hang out somewhere,
if they are interested go for it!if not **** them,find some more bitches.if you cant take it
from there then there is no hope

i find **** like this hard to put into words but it is very basic stuff,genaraly,just lay
the foundation and present yourselves as cool guys who they want to hang out with,
dont try and be their friends, always keep it so they look at you as a potential sexual partner,
maybe throw in the odd sexual joke here and there and ****.



Practice Makes Perfect-

To get good with girls, you have to prioritize it. Just like lifting, you gotta stay consistent
with your meals and training to see results. One of the best ways to get good with girls is to
practice your communication and non-verbal communication skills. Now just like in lifting,
you didn't go to the gym on your 1st day and squat 3 plates. You started at a much lower weight
and built yourself up to 3 plates. Same $hit goes for girls. I know a lot of you are won't admit it,
but your very intimidated by really attractive girls. You get all nervous and have no clue what to say.
So start off on that really ugly chick in your science class. Or that nerdy girl in math. Of course you
would never want to hook up with these girls, but use them as bait to practice for the big fish...
Here's what your goals should be:

1-Approach 5 random girls everyday for a week that are between 1-5 on looks. Start a conversation with
them about ANYTHING!! Notice how your not intimadated by them AT ALL?? Talking to these girls and being
confident is easy. Why? Because you know your better than them. That should be the mentality you have
with EVERY GIRL!! Anyway, your focus isn't even to get their numbers or fuk them,
its to become comfortable in front of girls in general.

2-For the next 2 weeks approach 5 more girls everyday that are between a 6-7 on looks.
Do the same thing, just get comfortable talking to them.

After this 3 week period, your conversation skills(eye contact, voice tone, the way you walk, A
lpha Male skills) should have improved dramatically. So now your ready to step up to the majors and
talk to the really hot girl with the big fake tits, or the hot blonde who is a Britney Spears look-alike.
Now to keep yourself from getting nervous in front of the really hot girls, just keep this in mind:
Talk about ANYTHING EXCEPT THEIR LOOKS!!! They know how hot they are and when they hear that 20x a day,
they almost take it as an insult and automatically think you just want to fuk them.(Of course you do. )
Even worse they label you as a "nice-guy wussy." Did you know that girls decide within 5 minutes of meeting you,
whether or not they'd have sex with you? So just think, if you can be Alpha-confident PUA for 10 minutes,
you've got it made.. Girls that are really attractive want to be appreciated for anything except
their looks. Keep that in mind and you'll do well. And if you fear rejection or a girl laughing at you,
you shouldn't. 99% of the time a girl will be friendly, even if she 's not interested in you. So go get
some hours in the batting cage and practice for your big at bat.




THE SCALE...

Ok in my last post I mentioned "THE SCALE." Now I know there are a ton of different varations of this,
but here's the most accurate one I've heard of.

The scale is 1-10, here are the catergories.

Face 0-2 pts
Tits 0-2 pts
@ss 0-2 pts
Legs 0-2 pts
Personality 0-2 pts

So let's say a girl is "cute." That deserves a 1.5. Let's say she has "nice" tits.
That deserves a 1. Let's say she has a "ok" @ss. That's a 0.5 as well. Let's say she has "good" legs.
That's a 1.5 And a really great personality. That's a 2. So this girl would be a 6.5 on the scale.


So now that you know how the scale works, let's talk about how exactly you talk to a girl who's a 6
and how that differs from a girl that's a 8. Here's the general rules:

1-5: These girls are average and below average looking. They know they're not the cream of the crop,
so don't bust their balls too much and throw in a compliment or 2. DON'T OVER-DO THE COMPLIMENTS,
2 MAX!!!! These girls are not confident, so if you boost their ego slightly, they'll be more receptive
to talking to you.

6-7: These are the girls who are labeled as "cute." They know they're not SUPER-HOT, but they definitely
are confident and know they're better than average. With these girls, 1 compliment will do.
Your compliments need to flow with the conversation, don't just tell her she has a great personality,
when she's talking about sedimentary rock formations.

8-10: These girls have a bubble around them. The only guys who get to be inside their bubble is the
guys who show that their not intimidated AT ALL!! These girls get NO COMPLIMENTS!!! In fact you
should give them Negative Hits. If you don't know what that is, read the first page of this thread.
Like I said above, mention anything but their looks. Tease them about the little things,
tell them they write sloppy or ask them if she cried because a strand of hair is out of place etc.
Do this in a playful way, so she knows your teasing but your REALLY NOT.. Do not apologize or
kiss-@ss to these girls AT ALL!! Let's say hot girl X gives you her number. She tells you to call
her at 8:00pm. You get busy and end up calling her at 8:35 pm. When you call, talk to her like
everythings chill. She will then ask you why you didn't call earlier. Just tell her you were busy
doing some things. Be vague, don't say, "I went to Mcdonalds and then I shaved my @ss."
Just say you were busy. Is this starting to make sense? Ok, if you've got questions, I've got
answers, so let me know what you think.

 

[size=6][b][color=blue]Lesson #6-Dating Show Education[/b][/size][/color]

Alright, I'll be the first one to admit it, when I have free time I'm watching all those dating shows.
You know Blind date, Fifth wheel etc. In the beginning I use to just watch them for hot chicks.
However now, I dissect each date and figure out if the guy is a total AFC or if he's a Alpha male.
Once you mastered the concept of how the Alpha male is suppose to act and all the techniques behind it,
you'll realize that shows like these are a invaluable lesson to getting you laid. They teach you EXACTLY
how to act and how NOT to act. For example, I was watching Blind date a week ago. The girl was SMOKIN'!!
She was in excellent shape, had a nice deep tan, with a tremendous pair of fake tits. She was a 8 on my scale.
The guy was a normal looking business guy. They met eachother in a courtyard and they sit down and have a
glass of wine to start off with. Immediately the guy is blatantly staring at her tits and just salivating
like a dog. He then initiates the 1st of many compliments to her. He tells her how beautiful she is.
She slightly rolls her eyes and says "thanks." The way she did this completley proved that really hot
girls take compliments on the obvious like an insult. If you compliment these girls they want to hear
something different, something unique that sets you apart. But they NEVER want to hear you compliment
them within 20 minutes of your get-together. Anyway, they are driving in the car and the guy is just
at a loss for words. He then asks her if she works out. She says "yes." And he says, yeah I was staring
at your body and noticed you were in excellent shape. She once again roles her eyes and says "thanks."
This AFC was so excited about the prospect of hooking up with the fake titted hottie that he didn't
know what to do or say. Keep in mind the entire time he was talking he had a huge grin on his face.
Then they go to dinner and he says, "umm err, I have to ask you something?" She says "what."
He says, "are your breasts real??" She unhappily says "NO!" They then went to a bar. They're chillin
at the bar and he's again telling her what beautiful HAIR SHE HAS!! WTF is wrong with this dood!!
Is he a fukin' homo, who gives a $hit about her hair. The dude had a couple glasses of wine at dinner
and they had to get a taxi ride home. At this point he realized he had no chance so he let his di-ck do
the talking. In the taxi he asked her if she wants to spend the night or come in for a few minutes.
This was the topping on the KING AFC CAKE!! The lady politely declined. I think the fact that she was
on TV made her act a little nicer to him than she would have. When they finally get to his door,
he says alright well, "give me a hug." She taps him on the shoulder and says "Good night." He then
asks her if she wants to spend the night or come in AGAIN!!!

Ok, has this taught you guys anything. This guy had a GOLDEN opportunity to bang a smokin' smokin'
hot chick. All he had to do was play it cool, have a good conversation and he would have been in.
Instead he drooled and complimented her, and complimented her and complimented her. He gave her the
impression that he hasn't been laid in a long time and it was probably true. It was so pathetic,
the guy was a complete tool. Start making it a habit to watch these shows when you can. Break down
the entire date from start to finish. Look for signs of interest when the daters first meet eachother.
Such as body language, conversation and voice tone. These shows basically spoon feed you the way
to get laid. They have the confessional moments and post date wrap up where the girl tells you what
she was REALLY thinking. My point is you should utilize all the tools that help you perfect your craft.
Put it this way, if you had the perfect body you would still work out right? Of course you would.
Because you don't want to lose what you have and you want to gain more!! Bingo. Once you have left
your AFC days behind you and become a good PUA, you want to get better. You want to become a master.
So you keep on practicing. Keep that in mind. And WTF does it take to get this thread to be A STICKY????

[color=blue][b][size=6]Lesson #7-A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing!!![/b][/size][/color]

Ok if you guys really look into the Alpha male attitude, its all about walking around with a
exceptionally high level of confidence. All the PUA around have told you that your looks are
not THAT important to your success with the opposite sex. So those of you who have learned
how to play the game have embraced that and had good results with hot chicks. Well what about
dealing with girls who act this way??? Now I'm not talking about girls who are 8's, 9's or 10's.
These girls are exceptionally hot in our books and they know it. They've built up a tough skin
to wussies and chumps who act like their bitch. What I'm talking about are girls who are 5's, 6's
and 7's who ACT like they're a 8,9 or 10. Now a lot of guys will make the mistake of using the scale
on a girl and they planning to proceed with that mentality. For example lets say your at a party.
You see a girl and you do the scale on her. She comes out to a 6.5 So you think, "hey she's a 6.5,
she'll probably like a few compliments and a decent guy attitude. If I'm cocky she'll HATE IT!!"
This would be a key mistake!! Because until you have a conversation with a girl you don't know what
her perception of herself is. This is why I believe its VERY IMPORTANT to do the initial approach
and then let the girl talk for a little bit. Feel her out(not literally ) and see what her angle is.
What your looking for is her bitch shield, her confidence and her receptiveness towards your advance.
If you learn this it shoud help a lot of you hit homeruns when you otherwise might have struck-out.

So you might be asking, "how in the world would a girl who's about a 5, act like she's a 9??"
Well, the answer is, through learning the game. She probably got tired of getting guy's she wasn't
into or no guys at all. So she figured just like all the past-AFC's on this board did, that she
needs to adjust her mindset and attitude towards the opposite sex.

Also I really want to stress how important it is to practice everytime you can. Pimp it on the fat
chick you saw at the mall. Who cares!! Its not like your actually going to hook up with her,
your just building your confidence one step at a time.

Every girl is different; some do things others wouldn't do to show they're interested. But in general,
body language is a good way to tell.

If when you guys talk, she's genuinely interested. You guys hold eye contact for longer than
you would with other people. If her head is slightly tilted rather than straight up. If you're
sitting next to eachother, if her leg is crossed towards you (it may be crossed away but that's
not always a bad sign). The important thing with body language is to notice changes in body language.
For example, some girls naturally cross their arms because it's a comfortable position.
You can't interpret her having her arms crossed as a sign that she isn't open to you.
However, if you two are talking and something happens in the conversation that makes her cross
her arms, it's usually a good sign that what you said bothered her.

If you say something funny/cocky and the girl hits you gently or pushes you as she laughs,
that's a big hint. If you're leaving she'll ask you "where are you going" suggesting an invite.
If she laughs a lot. If you're standing there and she comes up close into your personal space.

I remember one girl earlier this year that wasn't too interested in me (cause I was being AFC.
I started to un-knowingly pay less attention to her). Anyways, I brought her with me to a
computer store to pick up a present for someone and noticed her really coming into my
personal space. She'd be really close all the time. When I'd stop to look at something,
she'd come in close and put her head on my shoulder or chest and try to look on with me.
This was a huge hint. She was totally interested by this time, and this was the first of
many hints for me to pick up on it.

There are so many ways to tell; these are just a few ways. But honestly, if you just watch her,
it's really clear when a girl is interested. Girls usually expect guys to make the first move,
so when they're interested, they'll let you know. You just have to be receptive enough to pick
up on it. Some girls are more subtle than others.

watching a movie may not be the most ideal way to get kino started. some may disagree,
but you can't really watch her and the movie. if you're in a movie you may see if she is
leaning your way, constantly watching you, if a sex scene or romantic scene comes up you
watch her reaction to you and her. for the movie i would just grab her hand like an alpha
male would, she will either like it or not. let you hold it or not. don't be a wuss and
half ass grab it. but you need to time it and romantic scenes in a movie may help or scary scenes.

another thing don't just grab her with no mental connection, get some rapport going.
you mentioned back rub, it depends how you set it up. in a movie i would go for the hand grab,
a back rub if you had no other kino going escallates it too fast. start small like touching
her arm in conversation, then a hold her hand, then a back rub may fit. but no touching straight
to a back rub and she will definately get pissed.

i feel that you need to atleast touch your mark once, but no more than 3 times in a date or pick up.
more is too touchy and she may think you're a creep. less and she may think you're a wuss and not
get sexually attached. you could be telling her a story and touch her arm, or lead her into a door
and touch her arm. things like this work just make it natural. also be aware she may not want you to
touch specific places if she is sensitive there(like feel self concious) so an arm or hand touch
may be less intrusive initially. later you can get it going more if she touches you back. reciprocates.
You have to use the old yawn routine , do a really loud yawn then move in for the kill ,
Only joking dude !, Again this is a body language situation, her body language should signal whether
she wants you to do this ! In my opinion its better to touch her, then not have touched at all !
Once you have touched her notice her reactions to then halt or continue doing it ! Bodylanguage
is the key to knowing that you are making progress or to realise that you are not making progress. !!

Here is some Body language tips from fast seduction 101

Her lips:

Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.
Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth.
She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip,
while others run the tongue around the entire lip area.
She puts her fingernail between her teeth.
She protrudes her lips and thrust her breasts forward.
Her eyes:

She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.
She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often
combined with a smile and some eye contact.
She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.
While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.
Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile indicates interest in you.
Her hair:

She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion.
She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.
She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders.
Her clothing:

If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect.
The hem goes up to expose a little more leg.
She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better.
While she is seated:

She moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.
She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.
She is sitting with her legs open.
She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh.
Her legs are rubbing against each other.
Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table.
Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.
Her hands:

She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.
While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
She rubs her wrists up and down.
She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts.
She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way
She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table.
She plays with her *********, especially with stroking and pulling motions.
She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you (in case you already
haven't started kino yourself, dumbass .
She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.
Her voice

She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.
She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
She laughs in unison with you.
In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.
Micellaneous:

She mirrors your body language and body positions.
Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.
She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you.
She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school.
She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other,
hips slightly thrust forward.
At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity
and if you move to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her
glancing in your general direction (actually, glancing at YOU dummy! , she bumps into you...
accidentally, touches you... accidentally etc

Another big thing I've noticed people do when they're starting is they don't listen to the girl.
They're so wound up with what they're going to say next that they don't listen.
Conversation should always flow smoothly. You can change the subject 6 times and she shouldn't
notice because you're relating it to something she just said. But if you ask 6 different questions
that have nothing to do with what she just said, it sounds like you're asking her a ton of questions
and she might get offended or feel uncomfortable.

Listen to the girl and feed off of that. Good practice is to just go up and talk to people
(as someone mentioned a few posts up) and just have regular conversation. Practice listening to
what they say and changing the subject smoothly based on what they say. Make it your goal to control
the conversation. You should be calling all the shots (girls like this, especially if you can pull
it off subtly). Avoid any awkward silences and make sure the first question you ask is open-ended
(meaning a question that requires more than a yes or no answer). If they say they like something,
ask them why or how it makes them feel. Then, relate to them using "me too" phrases. Let them do
most of the talking, and don't give away everything there is to know about you. Keep a mystery
to yourself so the girl is always wanting more.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #8-How to tailor to different girls[/b][/size][/color]

Every girl is different and needs to be handled differently, but how do you know what you should do differently?

What if every girl you met would tell you exactly how to seduce her? If she would tell you
all the ways to turn her on; what qualities the guys she is attracted to have, or what not
to try on her. Wouldn't that be great?

Well, girls will tell you step-by-step how to seduce them and what you have to do.
It's not very hard to get out of a girl; they love talking about this. So the question is,
how do you get her to tell you all this?

It all falls on your conversational skills. If you know how to talk to people, you're going
to pick this up easy. If you still respond to people with "ummm....cool" or with awkward silences,
you got a ways to go.

Men and women are totally different when it comes to conversation. Women want to FEEL things.
They want to talk about how they FEEL and why they feel that way. Men want facts.
They could care less about feelings. I'm sorry to break it to you, but if you want to create
any type of attraction to this girl, unless she's a complete bimbo, you're going to have to have
conversations that lead to feelings. When she gives you facts, take that a step further and get
her to turn that fact into feelings. This will make more sense later. The good news is that
she'll be doing most of the talking. All you do is jump in here and there to guide the conversation
and get valuable information out of her.

So what kinds of questions do you want to ask a girl? Well, there are plenty of
question you could ask; here are a few:

What qualities do you look for in a guy?
This is a great one, but you're going to have to make sure you get quality answers.
Keep in mind you want feelings also. So if she says she wants a confident/decisive man,
you remember those two words then ask her how having a confident man makes her feel or
what it does for her as opposed to being with a guy who can't make decisions for himself.
She may say something like, "Guys who are confident are a big turn-on" (something should
click here: TURN ON. Make sure you're confident if you want a chance with this chick).
Or she may say I feel really [whatever] when a guy is confident.

What's it like when you BECOME HOPELESSLY ATTRACTED
This is a Ross Jeffries line, the caps are obviously an embedded command commanding her
subconciously to become hopelessly attracted. I haven't tested embeded commands much
(maybe saucehead can throw in some results if he's ever tried it), but either way,
it's a good question to ask. It does two things. A) In order for her to answer this question,
she has to remember a time when she was hopelessly attracted. This will bring back feelings
and put her in that state of attraction; she will associate attraction with you.
B) She will tell you what it's like when she is attracted, or what the guy did.
Make sure you listen to what she says; she's giving you step-by-step instructions.

You can ask her about good or bad experiences with dating. How they made her feel.
If you're at a place where people are walking by, you can point out random guys and say
"Just by looking at this guy, would you ever consider dating him. Why or why not?"...
"Do you think it would last?". Besides being entertaining and different from what other
guys would ask her (girls eat this $hit up), she's going to tell you all about first impressions.
This will help you in general, but you'll also know what kinds of guys she goes for;
you can notice similarities in styles/clothing/hair, she'll tell you turn-ons and turn-offs
when it comes to clothing (you should be a good dresser already, but for those of you who
need some work, this is a good opportunity to get girls advice), and how she judges people
without even talking to them.

Anyways, you guys get the picture. Ask her questions that will get her talking for a while.
A girl can talk for hours about this stuff; you will get TONS of valuable tools to use on her,
and the best thing is, she won't even know that she's giving you an Operation Manual to herself.

And here's a big piece of advice most guys don't realize when they're trying to seduce
a woman: You can seduce a woman just by talking to her and stimulating her mind. In fact,
you can get her horny as **** (especially the more intelligent ones). But remember, when it's
comes to turning a woman on, women are like volume knobs and men are like on/off switches.
All you have to do to turn on a guy is....well....guys are usually pretty horny all the time.
A girl needs to be stimulated. If you can talk to a girl and slowly turn the knob of arousal up,
you're going to close a lot of deals.

But most importantly, LISTEN TO WHAT SHE IS SAYING. Remember $hit. It's going to be what determines
your success or failure.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Series: Qualities of the Alpha Male
Lesson 1: Possess the ability to Walk away[/b][/size][/color]

Intro:
I'm hoping to do a series on some qualities alpha males have so people can start acquiring some
of these qualities and attract women. The questions would drop significantly on this thread if
people had these qualities. I hope saucehead will jump in on this series and post a few lessons.
These qualities aren't necesarily in any particular order.

So this post is about being able to walk away from a girl. One of the biggest AFC mistakes is that
the linger around too long. They get an opportunity to hang out with a girl (AFC's get opportunity's,
alpha males GIVE opportunities), and they think that the longer they stick around, the better their
chances will be. Hanging around for a long time does a few things that you don't want to happen:

The longer you spend with a girl, the more likely you are to mess up and mess with the attraction
you may have had going.

You'll make it seem as if you have nothing better to do. It's important to stay busy so girls realize
how valuable your time is and they'll hang out WHENEVER you want to, and they will always respect your time.

You look desperate. Hanging around for that long is what boyfriends do. You want to create attraction,
not act like you're in some kind of relationship with this girl.

Alpha males have to be in control. Whenever you're talking to a girl, make sure that most of the time
you're the one who ends the conversation because you have to meet up with friends or run some errands.
Always keep your reasons vague. Never sayI had to meet up with Josh. We went over to his house and
watched the simpsons, then played some basketball and hung out for a while.

Giving her that many details is boring and stupid. She'll know exactly what you did, and you leave nothing
to her imagination. You told her that you hung out with a GUY friend (she now has no reason to be jealous,
and won't have to wonder if you were with other girls. Keep in mind wondering this always creates jealousy
which leads to attraction), and, she saw how pathetic your plans were. You look like someone who doesn't
know how to have fun.

When you meet a girl for coffee or lunch or whatever, never stay for more than 30-45 minutes.
AFC's stick around for hours until they run out of stuff to say. Then, they look like losers.
Alpha Males wait until the conversation is at it's climax and the girl is laughing and having a great time,
then they throw her off-balance by letting her know that he has to run. This does a couple things:

Shows her that you call your own shots, and don't let women decide your life (if she begs you to stay,
DON'T BUDGE. You have other plans!)

You keep her wanting more. You gave her enough to have a great time, but not enough to get bored of you.
It was the perfect amount and now she wants more of you. She realizes that she's not the number one priority
in your life, and that you actually have a life. You're busy and have things to do, and your life isn't going
to revolve around her.

She'll get jealous and wonder what you're going to do. Will there be other girls there?

She won't understand why you left in the climax of the conversation. Things were going so well and you
decided to leave??? No guy has ever done that to her (unless she's dated alphas); she'll start to wonder if there is something wrong with her. When a girl doesn't get the attention she wants,
she'll go out seeking that attention. She will do whatever it takes to get you attracted.
The important thing is, don't let it phase you. Keep it cool and continue acting alpha.
She'll do whatever you want.

Keep the phone conversations brief. Never talk to a girl for more than 10-15 minutes MAX on the phone.
I'd usually limit it to 5. The phone prohibits you from kino and eye contact; big factors in the seduction game.
The phone is a tool to arrange a time to meet in person.

One more thing i'll say. When girls throw a subtle (or obvious) invite, don't always take it.
Here's an example: You and HB are talking. All of a sudden, she says, "It's a beautiful day. I think I'm
going to go for a walk." AFC's would say, "Can I come with you?????" That's weak. You want to say
(in a calm, relaxed tone) alright, see you later. She'll wonder why you turned down going with her.
She'll once again wonder whether or not you're attracted and she'll up her game.

Girls don't like wussies who stick around and do whatever they want. Think about your friends when
you went to school: Did you ever want to hang out with the guy that was always home,
always down to hang out, and NEVER had any plans? Or, were you always fighting to hang out with the
guy who was too busy for you, and everyone wanted to hang out with, and never had any free time?
And when this guy wanted to hang out with YOU, I bet you anything you changed your plans because
you knew how valuable his time was. You understood that if you didn't hang out with him when HE wanted to,
that you may not get another chance because he's so busy. Let girls know that your time is valuable
and they'll act the exact same way towards you.

Remember to always keep her wanting more.

[size=6][b][color=blue]Series: Qualities of the Alpha Male
Lesson 2: How to pass the test[/b][/size][/color]

Girls like to test you and they will. Here's why...

There are two types of guys: AFC's and Alphas. AFC's [chumps] will agree with what a girl says
all the time in order to avoid any difference of opinion. They will pay for her stuff, listen to her problems,
and basically do what she wants. Alphas will call a girl on her BS. He won't pay for her $hit
(he may on occasion if she did something to deserve it like sleep w/him), and he won't sit there
and listen to her problems for hours. His time is much to valuable for that.

Think of children. Lets say Tiffany is babysitting little Tommy for the first time. Can you guess what
Tommy is going to do? He's going to do everything that his parents don't tolerate and see how far he
can push Tiffany. He's going to see if she's a sucker and if he can get away with what he usually wouldn't
be able to. Now keep this in mind: As soon as Tommy discovers that Tiffany is a sucker, what will his attitude
towards her be? Do you think he's going to respect her? No way! He's going to walk all over her and
take advantage of her. He won't even respect a thing she says. Girls are no different...

Girls will push the limits to see if you're a sucker. A girl may tell you she has no money so that you'll
pay for her drink (or just flat out ask you to buy it). If she ever comes over to your place, she'll try
to change the cd without asking your permission. If you're talking on the phone and say you have to go,
she'll see if she can get you to stay. If you fall for any of these feminine traps, you're going to be
just like Tiffany is to Tommy. A wuss. She WILL NOT RESPECT YOU. She'll use you for a couple things:

A. Money -
Not all girls will take advantage of you, but there are quite a few out there who will let you
take them out, buy them dinner and expensive gifts, and the whole time, they'll think, "Man, what a sucker.
This guy thinks I'm totally into him, when in reality, I can see he lets people walk all over him.
What a loser. I wouldn't even kiss this guy."

B. Intellectual Whores (IW) -
Some of you have probably heard this term before, and others right now are like wtf?!?
An intellectual whore, as I understand it, is a guy that girls use to talk to about their problems.
Basically, a guy that gets used for his brain. lol. Girls will talk to IW's for hours to talk about
themselves and their problems. The guy is usually interested in the girl, but the girl has already
seen him as a wuss and just wants to use him as an emotional outlet. The guy will think that the
girl totally digs him, but the girl has NO INTENTION of anything more. If you talk to a girl for
hours on the phone, be careful, because if you aren't an IW yet, you are sure following all the right
steps to get there.

C. Friendship -
You will never be Plan A, B, C, or anything at the beginning of the alphabet for that matter.
You're her backup plan. When all her other plans fail and she has nothing else to do, she'll know
you will be down to hang out.

E. Bragging Rights -
I was one of the biggest AFC's you've ever seen. I was always "the sweetest guy." You should've
heard some of the romantic $hit I pulled out of my ass for girls that ended up walking all over me.
It was seriously the best you've ever heard of, but no matter what I did, it never worked.
NOT ONCE! I used to think that by doing something totally thoughtful and romantic/sweet,
the girl would totally fall for me. If you think like this, stop believing what you see in
movies cause that only happens in movies. Now think about this: What is the FIRST thing any girl
will do if a guy does something really romantic for her? CALL HER FRIENDS AND TELL THEM!
Now, you may think you're on the road to high success with women because you just did something
sweet, but you have to realize why she calls her friends. All she is doing is bragging. She doesn't
think of you as a nice guy, and neither do her friends; she sees you as a chump. When you do something
like this for a girl, you've just confessed to her that you're totally head-over-heels for her and
that SHE controls YOU! She's calling her friends to let them know that she controls you;
not because she likes you. You are another sucker to put in the trophy case.

D. Any other Favors -
If you're good with computers, she'll call you over to fix hers for free or help her with her
History project. If you're smart, she'll ask you to tutor her (or if she's really mean, do her homework).
If you have a nice car, she'll have you pick her up and drive her ass around so she can be seen
in a nice car (not to be seen with YOU like you may have thought).

So the big question is, how you pass these f'ing tests? Here are some steps that are going to help you.

1. Recognize that girls actually do test guys and what their attitudes are towards those who fail
2. Recognize what these tests are (or what they look like) so you're ready
3. Always stay calm and think about your words/actions beforehand (This is especially important
if you're just stepping out of AFC-hood)
4. Stand your ground and let her know that you know what she's trying to do,
and that you aren't going to fall into her trap.

Well we've covered step 1 already, so now we'll go through steps 2-4 so that you don't get put into
the chump category again. I'll give a few examples of some situations, and how I might respond.
Now keep in mind there is more than one way to respond. Don't memorize any of this; the goal is to
understand the jist of this.

SCENARIO 1 - Coffee Shop
You're standing in line to order/pay for your coffee, and the girl is standing next to you the entire time.
When it's your turn, you step up the counter, and of course, she steps up with you. She obviously thinks
you're going to pay for her. Most guys would

You: Hey there. I'd like a 16 oz White chocolate Mocha.
Cashier: And for you? :: looks at girl ::
Girl: I'll have a Grande Vanilla Latte with a hint of cinnamon.

Now, you're in a situation you don't exactly want to be in. She set you up so that you'd have to pay for her.
Now there are two options: Pay for her or don't.

A) If you pay for her, you're a sucker. I've asked a few of my close girl friends this. When a guy buys a
girl a drink or whatever, she thinks of him as a sucker and doesn't respect him (especially if it's the
first time together). If you decide to pay for her, you can always say, "I'll get this one, and you
can get the next one". But keep in mind: there may not be a next one with this girl.

B) Here's What I would do. If when the cashier says "And for you?", she pauses to think, jump in and say,
"Oh these are going to be seperate". haha. This b!tch will be shocked that you just pulled that on her.
That's a guy who knows how to f'ing be alpha. If when the cashier asks she orders immediately,
then wait until she's done and let the cashier know that these are going to be seperate.
If she says she doesn't have any money, you can say, "You came to get coffee and didn't bring any money???" She'll look like a fool. She may say something like, "But I expected you to pay" to which you can say,
"I barely even know you. I don't buy drinks for strangers" or something to that effect. Now, she can either
pull some money out of her purse to pay, you can tell her "Well I guess you're not going to get any coffee"
(or you'd could throw in some c/f "If you do so and so I might let you have a sip of my coffee" *smile*
Make her approach somebody and do something embaressing, or tell her she has to make you laugh,
or something where the spotlight is on her and you can lay back and watch her pathetic attempts.
The third option is to cancel the orders and just go for a walk.

SCENARIO 2 - Begging you to stay

So you've just met this girl, but you know it's not a good idea to spend much time with her.
So after about 30-45 minutes, you wait until she's laughing her head off and look at your watch and say,

You: I had a good time, but I've got to catch up with some friends.
Her: :: confused:: Can't you cancel your plans (or) Can't you call them up and tell them you're busy?

Now here she's trying to see if you'll budge for her. Here's a bit of advice.......DONT!
Say something like, "I'm sorry, but I've already made plans. I'm not one to make plans then cancel
last minute because I have other options." She'll see that you aren't going to fall her for pathetic
attempt, that you stick to your plans (and don't flake on people), and, one of the more important points;
she'll realize you don't push your friends aside when a girl comes along. You'll look like a guy who
is used to having a lot of girls.

One last bit of advice. If she says something you disagree with, don't sit there quietly or pretend to agree.
Now you don't want to be negative, so I wouldn't recommend doing it for a worthless or small point,
but if it's something you disagree with, let her know. Keep in mind alpha males don't complain or whine.
They defend their perspectives with good conversational skills and in a calm, adult-like manner.
As soon as you start whining she starts losing respect for you.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Series: Qualities of the Alpha Male
Lesson 3: ONE-itis is a dangerous thing...[/b][/size][/color]

You should all know what ONE-itis is by now. If you don't, then why have you skipped this far
forward in the thread? Start at the beginning! This is a dangerous disease which has
many easy-to-spot symptoms:

1. If when you describe a girl, you use any of the following phrases
- I've never met a girl like her
- She's the most beautiful girl in the world
- We talked on the phone for hours

2. When your relationships end with the girl saying LJBF (lets just be friends)
3. When a girl breaks up with you and you can't sleep or stop thinking about her
(She'd only break up w/you if you were an AFC anyways)
4. When you can't stop talking about this girl and how perfect she is
5. When you don't approach other girls
6. When you're so careful about what you do and say, and agree with everything she says because
you don't want to hurt/offend her
7. You deny having ONE-itis, yet have never had any "luck" with girls

You should get the point. There are way to many problems with ONE-itis. When you have ONE-itis,
you break all the other rules of the game.

1. You linger around because you want to spend all your time with her.
2. She controls you and your decisions are made by her.
4. You're emotionally attached to a girl. When she breaks up with you
(and she will break up with you), you will be heart-broken.
5. You don't approach other girls
6. You're not a challenge to her. She's going to get bored and move on.
7. You become overly worried about what she's doing and who she's with.
You're always thinking about her, which will make you more likely to call and spend more time with her.
8. You have no Social Proof

8 is a biggie. Social proof is huge. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term,
here's an example of it. You're walking around the mall with one of your good looking female friends.
Other girls will see you with her, and become attracted to you. I've even asked this to several girls,
and they all told me that they are always more attracted to a guy who is with other girls as opposed to
a guy who is alone. They wonder what all the fuss is about. When girls see you with other girls,
it adds a value to you. The more you're "worth", the less work you will have to do to get girls.
One way to make your worth go up is to always be with other girls and always talk to them.
The PUA is always talking to atleast 3-5 girls at any given time in his life.
You want to make girls jealous, but if you have ONE-itis, it's really not possible.
Instead, you become jealous of her when she even talks to a guy friend. She should be jealous
of you always talking to other girls.

A perfect example of this is in the movie How to be a Player (dont' recommend it for learning how to become a PUA, but it had a few good points). Anyways, there was this fine ass girl at this party that the guy wanted to get with. He went in the room where she was sitting with a few other girls,
looked at all the girls, and asked the ugliest one there to dance (right in front of her). They went out on the dance floor, and the whole time, this hot girl was watching them like a hawk. She got jealous, and didn't understand why he picked this ugly girl over her. She thinks he didn't notice her, and already sets him up to be the one in control. Later on that night they hooked up.

You have to always be talking to other girls. Who cares if they're a 5-6 on the scale, you should practice your techniques on them; just don't pick them up. Girls are so jealous, you can use anyone to make them jealous. Any girls will do the trick, but I've found that girls are extremely jealous about you talking to their close friends (so for those of you in high school
listen up). If you're in high school, make an effort to talk to the girls friends (because they will always tell the girl). If the girl you're interested is with her friends, walk up to the group and talk to everyone EXCEPT her. If she tries to butt in in a rude way, say, "That was rude. We were having a conversation. Don't do that again." Then turn your back to her and continue on with the conversation. If she doesn't do anything rude, but merely jumps in cause everyone else is talking, then don't be an ass to her. Just don't pay much attention to her, and don't try to hard.

Why's it important to be talking to so many girls at once?

1. Girls get jealous. You better your chances.
2. You have more girls to meet up with and mess around with; you won't have time to see the same girl more than once a week (creates jealousy; values your time when she gets a chance w/you)3. If one of the girls does something stupid, you don't put up with it. You toss her ass aside and move on.
Whereas if you had ONE-itis, you'd probably overlook what would have normally bothered you.4. Your emotions aren't a factor. Never make decisions with girls based on how you feel about her, but make them on how you feel. If something is going on that you don't like, don't hesitate to next the bitch. She'll try to call you and get you back, but she messed up. Have 0 tolerance.
5. You get other girls. Girls want you more when they see you with other girls or even know or get the feeling that you're with other girls.

No one girl is ever "the best girl in the world." If you're young, then you have no reason to only be talking to one girl at a time. If you're older and looking for a life-partner, then your Pickups will most likely turn into more, but you still shouldn't act like a wuss and develop ONE-itis.

Just keep in mind, if you have ONE-itis, whoever the girl is is no better than any other girl. She can't fly can she? She still has to put on make-up and keep clean and do her best to look good like every other girl. There are millions of girls out there. There's always someone better.

Lets say I had a penny, and that's all the money I had in the world. I'd value that penny and take care of it. But what if I realized there was this huge jar FULL of penny's under my bed, with millions. You think I'd still value that one penny? No, I'd put it back in the jar with the rest because although
penny's were made in different years and some are 'slightly' different than others, they're all penny's and they all accomplish the same purpose. All girls are girls and accomplish the same purpose.
Just remember that there is more than just one.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #10-Being a Go with the Flow type of Guy[/b][/size][/color]

I hear a lot of guys always asking what the best line to open with is or how to get a HB's attention. Well a lot of times the canned openers that I talk about work well, but what about the times where your just walking down the street and you turn a corner and suddenly see a super hot girl? If you hesistate for one one-hundreth of a second to try and recall a canned opener, then you'll most likely miss your opportunity. So how do you overcome this? You don't, you just say something, ANYTHING!! As you practice this type of situation more often, you'll become really creative and learn what works best in each situation. Here are a few tips that can lead you down the yellow brick road:

-say something unique-I know you guys probably know this by now, but make sure that what you say can lead into a conversation that get's you in a position where you can seduce her.

-hold EC and DON'T LET IT GO!!- The next time your talking to a HB, trying looking them straight in the eye for the entire time you guys are talking. You'll soon notice how you feel an incredible connection with her, as if you can see right through her to feel what she's thinking. Not trying to sound cheesy but its soo true, its almost scary how powerful those moments are.

-don't give away your secret-the key here is to make it seem like your just having a casual conversation and THAT'S IT!! If she smells that your trying to pick up on her, she'll most likely brush you off since you guys are complete strangers.

-ask opinionated questions-whatever you do, DON'T ASK A YES/NO QUESTION!!! Once she replies, dig thought.

With that being said, I'm proposing a challenge to all you struggling AFC, one-itis, scared of girls bros!!
You know who you are, so don't deny it. I saw this over at [url]www.sosuave.com[/url]. and I think its a great idea.

Here's the game:
Approach 50, yes five-zero girls over the next 3 weeks. Practice your PU skills. Practice in different situations, walking down the street, at the market, at the mall etc. Whatever, wherever. Then report back to ME about how it went and what you learned. Keep a tab on how many phone #'s you get, how many times a girl says she has a b/f and how many times you get a flat out rejection.(don't worry this won't happen unless you say something really dumb.)

The reason I'm challenging you guys is so you guys can become true PUA yourself. Then instead of running to me or anyone else for advice, you'll already know what you have to do. The best way to get better at ANYTHING is to practice. Your field reports will be a invaluable lesson to all of you. I bet you that
you guys,especially the ones with ONE-ITIS will come out with a completely different view of girls and be quite happy with all the dates you've lined up.

I want a YES/NO if your in on this. Once I find out who's in, I will set a date for the start of this and an ending date. So here's your chance to show your true skills. I'll give more specific details in the future.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson: The Art of Approaching Women Part 1[/b][/size][/color]

Approaching women in itself is easy; it's getting the courage to do it that seems to hold people back. A guy sees a girl he wants to approach, makes eye contact, and then, instead of approaching, does one of two things:

1. Thinks it over
They sit there and analyze all the possible outcomes. What if she doesn't fall madly in love with them? What if she is having a bad day? What if she's a lesbian? The girl notices the guy, but he is sitting there thinking it over (wasting time). If he eventually does approach, the girl thinks of him as a wuss because he took too long. This guy obviously has 0 confidence.

2. Sits there trying to come up with a witty line
I've been there. My entire life I've seen girls I would have loved to get them, looked at them, THOUGHT about approaching, but instead, sat there trying to come up with a witty line. This causes a few problems. A) You're wasting time. If you ever do approach, you look like a guy with no confidence and B). You won't think of a witty line. And if you somehow do, you have too many odds against you because if the girl isn't gone, then she realizes you have to little confidence to see something you want and go get it.

To those of you who are afraid of rejection, here are some comforting points

1. Every PUA has been rejected. It happens. It's like wanting to learn the guitar, but then holding back because you might play the wrong chord on accident or you might drop your pick.
2. Rejection is a learning experience. It helps fine-tune your game so your chances of getting rejected drop as you go on
3. Girls aren't rejecting you because of your looks (unless you're just hideous), you just did something wrong or were a little nervous and they picked up on it. That's why the more you approach; the less you'll actually get rejected. You'll improve on these things.
4. Girls are usually pretty nice when you approach, as long as you avoid saying something vulgar or just walking up and saying, "I want to **** you." The worst rejection you may ever get is, "I have a boyfriend" or, "Why don't you give me your number." What is so scary about that? (there are good responses to both by the way)

Now, here is the big rumor that people seem to believe when they either consider approaching girls or when they start doing it. They think that they need some kind of pick-up line or impressive opener to be successful. That's just not true. In all honesty, it doesn't matter what you say to a girl when you approach; you just have to say something...ANYTHING. You can pick-up girls no problem by just walking up and saying, "Hi" with a smile. The problem now is following this up with conversation (which I'll get into later).

Now, imagine being at the mall and there are all sorts of HB's there. If you've ever really paid attention, how many guys have you actually seen approaching a girl? I don't think I've ever actually witnessed it. If you're scared of people noticing you trying to do a pickup, I don't think you should have a problem. Nobody would even pick-up on it. But, not only that, most guys DON'T approach girls. They go to the mall with a group of friends and just walk around trying to look cool. They look at girls, they whisper to their friends, then, they go home thinking about how hot that girl was.

Another interesting point: YOU reject girls ALL THE TIME, you just don't know it. How many girls have you ever seen look at you and smile and you just kept walking? That's a rejection bro. If you don't approach a girl who is begging you to, you're rejecting her. You probably never even picked up on the signals (I know I used to never even notice them, and now they're so easy to spot), but you reject them. And think of how bad girls have it that they have to go home wondering if they're ugly because they didn't get approached. All us guys go for is looks on a girl; lucky for any of you who aren't so good-looking that girls go for personality

I'll give you a perfect example. Yesterday I went to the mall with one of my girl friends (social proof, and the best was that she had no idea how she was helping me). There surprisingly weren't that many people at the mall (I think we went at a bad time), I only saw one I would've approached when I was pulling in to park but she was way to far away and there were no open spots on that floor. So after we're done picking up a few things, we go to the Starbucks there to get some coffee. She lets me know that she's going to the bathroom, and after a couple seconds when I decided what I wanted, I walked up to the counter and some guy took my order. There were 2 guys working, and a HB 8. After the guy took my order and was about to ring me up, the girl walks over and the guy asks her if she wants to make the drink or ring me up. She looks at me and says she'd ring me up. She then looks me right in the eye, gave me a great smile, and asks me How I'm doing? CLEAR SIGNAL. It's their job to be friendly, but when you get eye contact AND a smile, you know you're in. Here's why:

Lets say you're walking around the mall and you notice this ugly girl is looking at you. You make eye contact (accidentally) then quickly look away. Why...because you're not interested. Now if this were a HB, you would've kept eye contact and most likely smiled. Smiling is a clear "come talk to me" indicator for cold approaches.

So anyways, me and the girl made some small talk but I didn't feel like number closing so I told her it was a pleasure meeting you and walked away from the counter (as my friend was coming out).

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson: The Art of Approaching Women Part 2[/b][/size][/color]

Ok, now that you have some confidence and see that this is really easy, lets get into some different ways of approaching.

Approaching can be broken into the following steps:

1. Spotting out the target. You have 3 seconds to approach, so make sure you notice all the details in those 3 seconds. Maybe something interesting she's wearing if you want to do one of those approaches.
2. Approaching the target and getting her attention. This is called an opener. Avoid canned pick-up lines.
3. You got some kind of response from the target. You scan for body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and anything else to get an overall sense of interest level (depending on your approach there may not be any interest level yet. Don't give up)
4. Your response to her response.
5. Small talk
6. Close

Hopefully that seems logical to you. Now, how do you actually approach a girl? Get her attention, then once you do, talk about ANYTHING that's not boring. Good topics would be something going on at that moment around you, something you noticed about her (NOT LOOKS), or anything any regular guy wouldn't talk about.

Here are some examples. You make eye contact, target returns EC and smiles; you approach without hesitation

Guy: You know you have a great smile. I bet you use that toothpaste with the swirls [smile]
Girl: [laughs] Actually, I use Aqua Fresh (or whatever brand)
Guy: Not that I do consumer reports or anything, but how do you like it?
Girl: It tastes kind of funny, but it does the job.
Guy: Yeah, but surprisingly a lot of things that are really popular taste funny. Have you ever eaten at that Thai place over there [points]?
Girl: No, I've actually never had Thai food.
Guy: Really? Well, if you could pick one country with the best food, what would it be?
Girl; I'd have to say Italian food. I love their bla bla bla and their bla bla bla.
Guy: Yeah, they have great food. Have you ever been to Italy?
More small talk

Or

Guy: [notices her carrying an Abercrombie bag] Do you actually like the clothes at Abercrombie, or do you just buy it for the pictures of shirtless guys on the bags?
Girl: [laughs] A little bit of both. But I just LOVE their clothes. I think it looks great on guys too.
Guy: yeah...they've got some decent clothes at Abercrombie, but to be quite honest with you, I like to shop at more up-scale institutions like Target [smile]
Girl: [laughs] I would never buy anything at Target!
Guy: Not even shoes....[looks down at her shoes, smiles]
Girl: Oh my God! [gives guy gentle shove as she laughs] These aren't from Target!
Guy: Mervyns?
Girl: No! These are from Nordstroms! [smiling]
More small talk

How both these approaches used a little bit of humor (great tool to get girls to put their bitch shields down), but look at how they flow. Everything the guy said was based off of what the girl just said previously. This keeps conversation flowing smoothly, and the girl feels as if you two are connecting (and if she's laughing, this is a closed deal). Small talk for a little bit then number close by saying

Well I've got to get going, but you seem like fun, we should get together sometime...[girl offers number]

How about a simpler, more straight-forward approach?

Guy: Hey there, I noticed you when I walked in and wanted to meet you.
Girl: [smiles] Oh really? Why's that?
Guy: Well I noticed something about you that I've never seen before [pause. This will create suspense, and girls get REALLY curious]
Girl: What's that?
Guy: Well we barely know each other...I don't know if I'd feel comfortable telling you this...[smile. Building even MORE suspense]
Girl: [smiling] Come on! You have to tell me.
Guy: [smiling] Why's that? Wouldn't it be a little awkward considering we JUST met? (keep in mind I used her same words, and with this question I'm now in control. I have a piece of information that she wants)
Girl: Cause you can't do that to a girl! We HAVE to know things like that.
More small talk

Here are some more:

You notice a girl looking at something in a store and you walk up and say, "You're not seriously considering buy THAT, are you?"

At ATM: I don't know why you're playing around with that machine, It's not like you actually have any money there...

If you're at a bookstore (or some quiet, calm place), you can say something like, "What is such a NICE girl like you doing in such a WILD place like this?

At a coffee shop, if there's an empty chair at her table, walk over, put your hand on the chair and say, "Excuse me. Is anyone using this chair?" (she'll think you want to take it to another table). Then you sit down and say, "Ahhh. It feels great to finally sit down. [pause] So, what are you drinking?"

Find an interesting item of clothing or jewelry (make sure it's something DIFFERENT) and say, "I really like your necklace. What's the story behind it?" (open-ended question which could easily lead to more conversation).

"Has anyone ever told you you look just like [name celebrity that she resembles]?

"Excuse me, you look like you have a good sense of style, and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something?" (Girls love this one. Especially since you're going to ask them something about Fashion, but don't make it seem like you have no clue how to dress yourself).

And here's one I woke up with this morning that I'm going to try. It's a cell phone approach. Put your phone on silent (so it doesn't ring) and get near a girl you want to approach. You're totally going to disarm her (by making her laugh) without even talking to her. She'll probably approach you if you do this right, and even if she doesn't, she's easy game after this.

You on Phone: "Yeah, there is this interesting girl here who is checking me out but hasn't approached me yet. I think she's just shy" [make sure she made eye contact, or else, change the line respectively]
:: Girl looks at you and smiles ::
You: I don't know, she's like 5'5, long brown hair, brown eyes, and she's wearing brown Capri's with a button down shirt (describing her)
You: What does that have to do with anything?!?!? [pause] Ok Ok...... she has smooth skin.
You: Ok man, how am I supposed to know if she uses Neutrogena facial wash to get her skin so smooth? It's not like she's wearing an orange logo T.
You: WHAT? No! I'm not going to ask her.
You: No! I'm done talking to you. This girl obviously wants to approach me and is just waiting for me to get off the phone. Goodbye! [hang up]

Now if the girl doesn't approach you immediately, act as if you don't think she heard any of that and are just waiting for her to approach. She may play along also. If she doesn't approach immediately, but is playing along, you can walk up and say, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to use Neutrogena facial wash, would you?" and smile.
You can change everything after the girl's description. That was just an example. Use anything that will make her laugh. The more she laughs, the less work you'll have to do later.
Any creative approaches are always going to be great because I guarantee you no guy has ever used them on her. The attitude a guy that uses these approaches conveys is a cocky/funny, confident one who likes to have fun, and always talks to girls. He's totally relaxed and isn't going to get all nervous and be pathetic like other guys.

And one more thing: Don't spend a really long time talking to her, and don't actually reveal much about yourself; instead, reveal using your words, facial expressions, and body language that you're a fun, relaxed guy that she would have the PRIVELAGE of spending some time with. (It's always the girls privelage, NEVER yours)

I think this is a quote from the movie Big Daddy, but he says, "Initiating conversation is half the battle." Once you talk to her, and you're relaxed and laid back, you're set.

These aren't canned openers or once I have memorized. Some are common, but don't get wrapped up in what you say, just say SOMETHING. The rest is a breeze. Stay relaxed, confident, and don't talk fast or slur your words together. Project your voice so she knows you're not intimidated by her. Keep good posture, hold eye contact, and talk. It's as easy as that.

I spent a long time writing this post, so I expect to see a lot of posts from people who are in on the challenge. Now who's in?

They'll respond based on your approach man. If your approach merits a one-word answer, you'll get a one-word answer. If you're not a smooth talker, then atleast be funny (but best to combine both for c/f attitude).

"That bag's pretty big, must of had a hard time choosing what to get"

is a terrible line to use. It probably didn't take her long to choose; she's not choosing furniture. It's just not a funny line. The abercrombie line I used wasn't necesarily funny, but delivery is what would set it apart. My tone of voice and the way I looked at her/facial expressions is what would get a reaction. Ever watched stand up comics? They make people laugh by their facial expressions and actions, not JUST their words. Comedy is ok to listen to, but it's ALWAYS better when you watch. The abercrombie one is also a controversial topic that she would have to have an opinion on. Girls get teased a lot for those abercrombie bags. AND it would get me more than a one word answer whereas your line sets you up for rejection.

Try something totally out of the ordinary that a girl wouldn't be able to help but laugh at. This one is gold if you want to try a scripted opener.

"Did you see a midget with a squirt gun running around here?" (also great with groups of HB's).

Any girl would crack-up at that line. But delivery is key for something like this too. Come over in a hurry and when you say it, be looking around as if you're ACTUALLY looking for a midget. They'll know you're not, but it adds to the humor.

Use anything. If she's wearing sandals, walk up and tell her her shoe is untied (as you smile).

Then, once you've actually got something to back-up the opener (meaning you're more advanced, and have approached lots of women), you can start using cockier lines like, "Are you gonna hurry up and buy me a drink or what?" as you're waiting in line.

Or if you're at a dance party, and the girls are just sitting there, something like, "Why aren't you girls out on the dancefloor grinding eachother?"

But avoid these until you're more advanced. Those are a lot more than talk.

That's all the advice I'm posting on pickups and cold approaches until people start accepting the challenge. How many guys have posted on this thread? There's no way you guys are all master PUA's.

So the following guys......Are you guys in, or what? And who else? Keep in mind whoever is actually in on this is going to get their questions answered, not the guys who wussed out and are still asking worthless questions.


It's to hard to sum it all up in a post; this is just kind of something you do. But if things are going well, I'll tell you a few ways you can go in for a kiss.

Before kissing, you want to make sure she's receptive to it. You can always just lean in and go for it if you're getting the signal that she wants to kiss you, but I usually like to test her out and see how responsive she would be.

When you two are talking, slowly move in closer to her without her really noticing. If she's writing or reading something, you can put your head right next to hers and pretend you're looking on with her. When she's done, you two will be fairly close. What you can do is comment on her hair then reach back and slowly start playing with it. Slide your hand down the back of her head (holding her hair), then about halfway down, make a fist and gently pull until there's no more hair. Repeat a couple times. Make sure it's not silent either. You usually want this to seem like something casual so you can slowly work up to more, so continue guiding conversation. And a good time to do this is when conversation is going REALLY well. Don't do this in a bad part of the conversation. You gotta pay attention to these things.

Then, start smelling her. Girls LOVE this. Smell her hair, her neck, her shoulders and tell her how good she smells. Your tone of voice is KEY right here. You have to have the tone that says "I want you." If she didn't flinch or move away and has let you play with her hair, you're good.

When you move in to smell, if she allows you to and seems to like it, then you're good. (notice how you're slowly warming up to more). Then you start kissing her neck and her ear (getting her in the mood), but TAKE YOUR TIME. Never rush with a girl. They like you to take things slow. After a little while, if you know what you're doing, she should be dieing for you to kiss her. Then, just go for it. Hopefully you don't kiss like a frog. I've talked to girls, and they've told me that when they're attracted to a guy, the first thing they want is a kiss. Girls are extremely curious to know what a guy kisses like. Keeping that in mind, you should be a good kisser, and work up to it to build a little suspense (when she knows its coming). If you kiss poorly, you'll kill the mood.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #11-The Power of Teasing[/b][/size][/color]

In the past I use to hate when I was alone with a girl and she totally knew I wanted her. Why? Because then she had all the power and dictated if we kissed, when we kissed, how long we kissed etc. However after trying out a few techniques and reading David Deangelo's DYD, I've learned a lot about how to take control of the physical part of girls.

Ok let me paint an image in your head. Your hanging out with a HB that you want to fuk real bad. You've kept her interest level high the whole night by being C/F and not giving her straight answers. You two finally get to be alone and you want to kiss her really bad, but you don't want to get rejected. This is where David Denagelo's tips come into play. Here's what he advocates, its called the "Kiss Test." And its brillant, let me explain it.


Like I said earlier your alone with a girl and want to make the move. Well here's the ground work you must do before you go in for the kiss.

-Initiate kino (touch her thigh, and rub it, or stroke her hair, touch her waist etc) The key is to touch her in a sensual way.

Let's say your stroking her hair, after a few moments, stop. Then make perfect EC and stare at her lips, then back at her eyes. After this lean in like your going to kiss her but pretend that there's some lint in her hair that your grabbing out. Now when you lean in, if she stays put, then your golden she's dying for you to kiss her. However, if she moves away abruptly as you pull in then she just isn't comfortable enough with you yet. If that does happen to you, don't take it as a sign that she doesn't want you. Just take it as a clue that you need to lay down more ground work and create more rapport before she's read to be kissed.

Ok so say your past the initial kiss and you guys are making out. You want to take it to 3rd base and possibly hit a HR. How can you do that? Pretty easy actually. While your making out with her, she'll most likely have her eyes closed. So in the middle of it, just stop, flat out STOP!! Pull back and wait until she opens her eyes. She'll look at you and you look right back. Then lean in as if your going to kiss her again, but instead brush your cheek against her's at the last second. This will drive her absolutely nutz. Why? Because you've already got her pretty hot if you know how to kiss and she wasn't ready to stop. Then pull in again but just give her a soft slow kiss. Then build it up to a little bit more, until you guys are making out again. Make sure your making use of your hands, but caressing her body during the kissing. Then after another few minutes, just stop again and tell her your ready to leave. If she doesn't try to entice you to stay by taking your physical activity a little bit further that night, then TRUST ME, then next time you see her she'll want to do something special for you.

Getting good at being physical with a girl is much like your transition from an AFC to a PUA. A PUA dictates the conversation, is strong and assertive. He says when **** is going to happen and when **** is going to stop. Don't change this formula when your hooking up. If you do this correctly, you'll have A LOT of fun.

Confidence - Speaks for itself. Guys should be confident in themselves.
Attitude - Guys are the selectors, girls are the selectees. Any girl the guy approaches is to see if she is fun and worth HIS time, not to find out if this girl will like him. This goes along with confidence. They have the attitude that they don't NEED women, and don't DESPERATELY want women. They enjoy women like they enjoy good food.
Not being a chump - Being a guy who stands up for himself and doesn't sit there agreeing with a girl thinking that if he has his own thoughts she might not like him. Not living by societies "dating rules". If she tries to test you or push your limits, you call her on it, but in an adult-like manner. Alpha males don't argue or whine.
Living life by your own rules - Alpha males do things on their own terms. They can't be negotiated with, they act with authority, and they get the respect that goes along with that. They can't be tested and they're not subject to social constraints.
Smooth Talkers - They are masters of the art of conversation, and can hold good conversations with anyone--male or female. They can smoothly change subjects and make a conversation flow without it seeming like the guy is asking the girl a ton of random questions. He can keep anyone interested, and as far as himself, he doesn't reveal too much; he keeps the girl in suspense and keeps himself as a mystery about certain things. He understands and knows how to keep a girl wanting more. He remains a challenge for her.
Cocky/funny - He never gives a girl EXACTLY what she wants. He can always make her laugh, and he occasionaly does it in a cocky way showing his confidence. He's creative. Doesn't always say what you'd expect him to say.
Spontaneous - Alphas are spontaneous and handle situations on the spot. They're quick thinkers and act on desires/impulses immediately.
Are not ashamed of their desires - If they're attracted to a woman, they don't try to hide it as if it's something they should be ashamed of. If they are making eye contact with a girl, they don't look away when the girl notices. They maintain eye contact to show that they're confident and not intimidated by her. They are in no way ashamed for being a man.

Low self-esteem:
He decides his failures with women are his fault, and that there is something wrong with him, likes his looks, his personality, or whatever. This can lead the guy to try to improve his looks, or his connections, or his finances. He might even land a girl by accident. In the extreme, he might resort to suicide, rape or murder.

II. Misogyny:
He blames women for his failures with them and decides there is something wrong with them. Strangely enough, this attitude can make him slightly more attractive to women, so again, he might be able to attract a girl purely by accident.

III. Denial-Based Mindsets and Worldviews:
He must reconcile the fact that he is a good person, yet he can't get women. So he creates himself a skewed view of the world to maintain his self esteem. Examples-a nice guy self-image, religious/scientific/moral justifications, a victim mindset, or escapism. I'm sure there are more that I haven't listed. Of course, if a guy has religious/scientific/moral/political beliefs, he is not necessarily guilty of being like the fox with the grapes. Everyone's worldview is skewed in some way, including me in this article. What I mean here is that anyone who skews their worldview even more to justify not fulfilling their healthy desires is playing the fox.

Here is the kind of dialogue that might be playing in the guy's head. He is deluding himself, but he doesn't know any better. I think most guys will find this familiar:

"I am a good person. Yet I do not get women. If there is nothing wrong with me, and nothing wrong with them, so there must be some reason why I am not having the success I desire. I do not get women, so maybe there is some reason why I shouldn't get women, or I shouldn't want women...[now he thinks up some justifications like the ones I shall list]"

(Of course, this kind of self delusion is not limited to guys trying to get girls. Both men and women do it in many areas, such as making money i.e. "I am a hard working person. Yet I don't make much money. There must be some reason why I shouldn't have/want money..." My article is written about women, yet most of it applies to just about any deep desire.)
Being around attractive women is bittersweet when he knows that he will not be able to have sex with them. Every guy knows this intuitively. However, some guys get addicted to the sweet part of unfulfilled lust, and they learn to sooth the pain of the bitter part. So they create a belief system or self-image which allows them to sooth or deny the pain. At least his self esteem is not so badly damaged following this path. However, a warped worldview is hard to maintain. I tried. I failed. It sucked. Now I know better. Every time he sees a hot girl, or hears his friends talking about chicks, he must remind himself of his justifications for not getting women. Living in denial takes perpetual work.

Here is another manifestation of such skewed thinking: "I am not going to change my identity just to get girls." So he simply sits and watches the ladies pass him by. At some point, he needs to make a choice: is he willing to do what it takes? More on this in my conclusion.
The problem with denial-based systems is that they create dissonance between what the guy wants, and what he thinks he can or should get. Eventually, after years of denial, he might get so good at it that he has removed most of the pain. Repression becomes second nature for him and he doesn't realize it anymore. Many adult males have followed this path. I genuinely feel sorry for them.

i. The nice guy self image:
He becomes an IW. He might decide that he is destined to be a guy who is "not good with girls," and contents himself with IW mediocrity. However, he still might try to win the approval and affection of women, so he starts (or continues) doing things for them and supplicating. In this case, he becomes completely taken for granted and used. In the end, he continues doing things for girls to maintain his own self-image as a nice guy. This is what happened to me.

He still can't resist approaching women, yet the only way he can make himself comfortable doing it is by further repressing his sexual interest in them. He hides his sexuality, so women use him as a homework/money/advice machine and treat him like a doormat, instead of treating him as a man-or even as a person. Neither of them are to blame for this situation because neither knows better.

To maintain this self-image, he sometimes takes supplication to the extreme. He may believe that he is acting completely altruistically; yet there is still a part of him that wants to bang her. He may not be able to admit it, but either consciously or unconsciously he still wants her. Everything he does will still be influenced by his desire to sleep with her, even if he has consciously realized that this will never happen.

He believes that someday he will "get lucky" with women, or find "the one" (because he doesn't know how to attract them), and someday he might by pure accident. He will probably have one-itis. He will get used as an IW and maybe even pulled into a marriage. He will stay in this relationship not because of "love," but because he has low confidence in his own ability to find a new women in a decent amount of time. Often he will be the provider. He may depend on his IP for validation of himself. Our culture calls this "finding true love." Perhaps he might get sex a few times, but this is an accident, and probably just occurs for kids, or his wife feels it is her obligation.

Of course the ladder theory has a lot more detail on nice guys.

ii. Religious/scientific/moral/political justification:
Religion or morals might teach that having sex, or at least casual sex, is wrong, superficial, or only meant for procreation. He will embrace these beliefs because they excuse his mediocrity with women. He might even embrace celibacy.

However, there is one thing that will not change (unless he gets an operation or becomes a eunuch): sex feels good, and he physically wants to have it. Sure, he can rationalize all day that desire is only electrical signals interpreted by his brain, or sinful desires from the devil, but that will not make those very powerful signals/desires go away. He cannot rationalize away testosterone! He may be using rationalizations or theories to explain why he is not getting women, or why he shouldn't want women; yet again, this is a treatment, not a cure.

Note on religion: Just because a guy is religious, it doesn't mean he is afflicted with fox/grapes syndrome. Only if he is using religion to curtail what he wants or to hurt himself emotionally. Religion and the ladder theory can coexist; as long as his faith is his ally instead of holding him back.

iii. The Victim Mindset
Instead of (or in addition to) blaming himself, or women, he blames the world. He believes that "fate" or "the gods" or something is dooming him to a life with no sex or happiness. Extreme bitterness and chronic alcoholism might ensue (though it is not limiting to this mindset). This mentality can often accompany low self-esteem or celibacy.

iv. Escapism:
He convinces himself that he doesn't, or shouldn't want sex, that he doesn't have time for it, or that it is somehow not for him, or not important in the greater scheme of things. So he withdraws from it. Virtual celibacy is often the result. Escapism usually happens in combination with some of the mindsets I mentioned above.

He might try to convince himself that he can block out lust. We all know that you can't really block it out; there is no "off" switch. God knows sometimes I wish there was. You know, just a little switch in the back of your head that you can flick when a hot, but unatainable girl is near? He can deny lust, but doing that is painful and very hard to do forever. He might use masturbation or porn to temporarily escape his sexual tension (note: masturbation and porn do not necessarily mean a guy is guilty of escapism).

In the end, he withdraws into a monastery (in past history) or immerses himself in his job, or traditional "guy" pastimes such as sports, computer games, math, or other nerdery. I would hypothesize that a large amount of discoveries in hardcore sciences or technology were by men following this path. I heard somewhere that the increasing popularity of football correlates with the decreasing success of the modern man with the ladies. A lot of guys are in such a situation. Note: just by enjoying his job/pastimes does not necessarily make him guilty of this type of escapism. Only if he is doing it to escape from his desires. Nerditude and escapism can often go hand-in-hand, but not always.

However, sometimes in the process a man might attain enough money, power, or fame that he attracts women indirectly, again a strange accident. He can often get very attractive women as trophy wives, Unfortunately, it takes a lot of his life to get this kind of money and power. Our culture calls it "success." Sadly, he is spending thousands of dollars on materialism when he could do just as well with a new attitude (which costs $0). He also might end up spending some of his hard earned dough on prostitutes (though whoring is of course not limited just to this section).

Note: If a man is accumulating money and power for the purpose of getting women, he is not guilty of this type of escapism. His is actually following part of the ladder theory without knowing it.
He becomes a player/outlaw biker/pick up artist:
He reads ladder theory, DJ or comparable material, talks to friends, or somehow figures out how to do what is necessary to get women. This is what guys mean when they say "be a man/grow some balls/be the alpha male/go **** ten other women." No longer are women a scourge on his self esteem, because he doesn't have to base his worldview on not getting them. There is a whole spectrum of guys who are successful with women. You could call some of them "players," but that term has a negative connotation so I will redefine it. Here are the two extremes of players:

a. The Outlaw Biker: Also known as the "jerk," or the "*******." His strategy is "**** and dump, rinse and repeat." He has naturally attracted women since the teenage years with his attitude and pure ego. He doesn't give a flying **** about them or about anyone else, and so they make a beeline for him. He often doesn't treat women very well, and gives other guys a bad name.

Historically, a much larger percent of the population was this type of outlaw biker. For instance, Vikings pillage town, and rape all women. Or drunken knights that manhandled the ladies. Or outdated beliefs that women were only good for procreation. However, throughout the centuries, chivalry, feminism, and women's rights have made outlaw biker behavior less extreme (i.e. "political correctness"). This is a good thing in my opinion, but the guys who weren't outlaw bikers got caught in the cross fire.

Society indoctrinates men at birth to not be outlaw bikers (counter force = pop culture i.e. MTV). That is why nowadays there are so many IWs etc...However, what our culture, political correctness, and feminaziism don't realize is this: as long as some guys can be wilder, more novel, more disinterested, and better looking than others, there will always be outlaw bikers. It doesn't matter how pussified men get, as long as the are all equally pussified, there will always be outlaw bikers. It doesn't matter what the rules are, as long as they can be broken, there will always be outlaw bikers.

Take a bunch of extremely polite and posh British gentlemen from the 1800s (heh my parents are British). Put them on a desert island with chick. She will make a beeline for whichever one of them is closest to OBness. You could call this a fact.

A famous punk rocker pothead (the outlaw biker of the present) has basically the same attitude as a Viking chief (the outlaw biker of the past). The only difference is that Mr. Viking pillages towns and rapes women at swordpoint while the punk rocker simply has a few body piercings and plays bad music.

Advantages: OBs get sex naturally, often from day one.

Disadvantages: They make the world hell for women and other guys. They might end up in jail. They rarely can teach other guys to be more successful with women because they do it naturally themselves.

b. The Pick-up Artist (PUA) : You could also call him the "serial charmer." He understands the art and science of attracting women. He might use any of a myriad of techniques to seduce women. He is often a recovering IW or nice guy who has consciously improved his inner game (self-esteem, confidence, attitude, etc...) and outer game (techniques and approaches). Eventually he gains control or his own mental and sexual state, and the state of women he seduces. He might change so much that he appears, or even merges with the outlaw bikers. I predict that more and more guys will be following this path in the future as the information becomes more popular. We are not talking just the DJ stuff here.

This is the path I, and alot of people on this forum are on. I have tried most of the denial-based paths and they just don't work.

Advantages: The PUA's scientific approach can lead him to have much more sex than OBs (of similar wealth/power) because he can learn from his mistakes. He can often get lots of sex on a clean conscience (whereas extreme OBs don't have much of a conscience).

Disadvantages: You can't start out a PUA. It can take him alot of rejection, practice, and studying for him to get success. It ain't easy. All an OB has to do is be himself.

In context: Most players fall somewhere in between these two poles. For example, there are outlaw bikers with a conscience that treat women well (though this seems to be less than 5% of OBs). There are also PUAs that teach themselves to not give a flying **** about women. If you want, you could say that OBs are controlled by their testosterone while PUAs control their testosterone.

Our culture sees only one type of player: the OB. That is why players in generally get a bad name.

Conclusion: Seeing the Need to Change
You could say that modern men are somewhere in between these four extremes: Outlaw Biker (OB), Pick-up artist (PUA), Nice Guy (NG), and Nerd Escapist (NE).

Each guy starts out at a different point depending on his upbringing, culture, and genetic makeup. Throughout his life, he will hopefully move up to a level of sex that satisfies him. For guys closer to OBness, getting drunk, watching Fight Club or MTV or James Bond, listening to enough Blink182/Korn/Heavy metal, or getting told to "be himself" or "be a man" might be enough to get him laid a few times in his youth. For nicer or nerdier guys, it will take some healthy smacks on the head from the real world, exposure to LT, or an article like this one. For guys who want to **** the really good looking women with the best personalities, it takes either a badass OB attitude, or fastseduction, or both.

"Being Yourself"
This is one of the most common pieces of advice that our society gives. For some guys, it will help them, by moving them closer to OB. For others, it will hold them back, by making them resist change. They develop the attitudes "I am not going to change to get girls," or "if a girl doesn't like me the way I am, I don't want her."
Here is the way I look at it: having success with women is not so much about "changing yourself," it is also about bringing out what is already there. Some guys look at the process as a metamorphosis into something new. Others look at it as a journey of self-discovery. You can even take both views at the same time, whatever brings you the best results.

No man is really capable of "being himself" when he is very unhappy (namely, when he is not fulfilling his desire for sex). All those denial-based belief systems are manifestations of him trying to cope with his unhappiness. Guys in denial about getting women are usually not very happy, nor are they getting much sex. Therefore no man who is in denial is truly being himself.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #12-Progression of the AFC[/b][/size][/color]

Well I thought it might be time to share some of my AFC moments from when I had no clue. A lot of you think that Tidus, Cgraz and myself are natural born PUA's. Well I got news for you, we were pathetic and horrible at one point too. So I'll share a few of my classic AFC moments with you from beginning to end:


8th grade: Got this girl's number from someone who she wasn't even friends with because I thought she was hot. Started the AFC trend of calling her EVERY SINGLE DAY!! Bought her a teddy bear and card for her birthday. This is after I knew her for 3 weeks!!!! Told her how much I liked her. One night I was talking to her on the phone and she told me she had to go because she had swim pratice. At the time it was 7:00pm and there was FREAKIN' LIGHTNING outside!!! Another time I called her, she got off the phone and made me talk to her brother!!!! This went on for about a month and after all this I asked her out at one of our school dances in front of 20 people and she looked at me and said "Uh NO!!" I got the best of her in the end though, because my senior year of highschool, she was on my nutz I acted like I didn't give a ****...


10th grade: I hung out with a group who were all dating eachother except for me and one girl. The girl wasn't even hot, I have no idea how my AFC mind use to think back then. Anyway, I did the most highschool thing you could do, I told her best friend that I totally wanted her. After the girl found out, she completely avoided me and stopped hanging out with us on the weekends. LOL

Sophmore year college: Was dating a Super HB 8.5, fake tits, nice ass, beautiful face the whole works. After a month of dating, I bought her flowers, told her how much I cared about her, paid everytime I took her out.(She did spend $45 on me one night though) Once she saw that I was an AFC and had no clue, she cast me off with Tom Hanks on LJBF island. I had her in 2 of my classes so for the next few weeks I tried hard to ignore her. It worked well and then I fugged up again by hanging out with her "just as friends." I eventually fell back into the trap of wanting her and had her walk all over me again. She told me how much she wanted to hook up with this guy and that guy. She basically treated me like her emotional tampon. She gave me plenty of opportunties to close the deal but I had NO CLUE. I remember one night we went out drinking. Her sister and her friend came along. Her sister's friend was HOT!! (half black/half french) I remember getting her #(I have no idea how I did this) and HB 8.5 got very jealous. She drove that night and it was just me and her in the car. She reclined her seat and was just staring at me, giving me all the green lights. I sat there like a total AFC and didn't do ****!! LOL- Its all good though she still calls me all the time and you know SH will hit it...

Just in time for Day 1 ay fellas. By the time you are done with it you will have plenty of experience under your belt. Now some important tips I want to give to you newcomers here taking the mission.

1. Maintain EC
-Maintaining EC and not flinching gives you more dominance over the chick
-You are showing that you are not just another guy and you are not scared by her presence
-EC allows intimacy and makes an "emotional connection" for the chick's mind
-You are gazing past her beauty and soul and you are setting a quality a chick likes in a guy
-You are visually more appealing to her

2. Do not jitter with your mouth
-Do not explain yourself when you talk to a chick, merely ignore it and just laugh it off
-Keep your statement short and consice but do more talking
-Pause between sentences, this stresses importance in what you are saying and the chick will be waiting for you while thinking "OMG WHAT IS HE GOING TO SAY"

3. You have the upper hand
-You lead the convo and not her
-BE FOREWARNED, some chicks might be surprised you approached them because almost virtually almost NOBODY approaches a chick

Some last words
-Some chicks will gawk you over and won't even give you the chance to talk, don't worry they arent worth it then
-Don't be phased by any insults or anything a chick says or does to you
-Don't take ANYTHING personal, this is KEY to SUCCESS
-Leave an open mind for things and don't just gawk at anything you don't believe in
-Do not tell anyone about this thread, your knowledge of this, do not brag about it, do not even talk anything related to this, First RULE is DO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF EVER IN YOUR LIFETIME TO ANYONE NOT EVEN YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND, IT WILL HINDER YOU AND THROW YOU BACK LATER ON- theres a reason i am putting this in capslocks, i can't emphasize this enough, even if you think about doing it FORGET IT AT ALL COSTS- this stuff is a privilege, not a right

Girl: So what'd you do tonight?
Guy: Hung out with some friends, then went to a party
Girl: What friends and whose party was it?
Guy: That's classified information *smile*
Girl: Come on!
Guy: I'm sorry. You don't have security clearance for that one. *smile*

She may even ask what she needs to do to gain security clearance. Sounds like that one could be fun...

or just start the c/f from the beginning (usually what I do)

Girl: What are you doing home so early?
Guy: I got tired of giving lapdances, but it's ok, I made $500
Girl: Lapdances?!? Where??
Guy: At the strip club! The strippers actually paid ME for dances.

or

Girl: I can't quite figure you out.
Guy: I can't figure me out, either. When you do, type it up double-spaced and have a copy on my desk in the morning.

Girl: You have beautiful eyes
Guy: You know, that's interesting because I was having dinner with George Clooney the other night and he said the exact same thing. It was disturbing, to say the least.

Girl: So was that girl coming onto you?
Guy: Ofcourse! She was clearly attracted to me...*smile*
Girl: Did you do anything more than talk?
Guy: I don't kiss and tell *smile*

Girl: Why are you always so busy? What do you do all day?
Guy: Well what do you expect? Having 10 different girlfriends is a big time share. Some mornings I don't even make it into work...
Girl: You don't have 10 girlfriends!
Guy: Ok...9. I dropped one of them because she asked to many questions *smile*

You get the idea? You just gotta play along with her. Don't ever give her EXACTLY what she wants. Use sarcasm and c/f. When she says "come on" or "no seriously", keep toying with her. Especially if it's something she's DIEING to know. You can use that later to get something out of her.

Ok, lets think about this. If you never go up to random girls, how would you even know what rejection feels like from cold approaches? It's a different kind of rejection than the kind you may be used to. A rejection on a cold approach will rarely ever be a slap in the face or a girl calling you names (unless you were just plain rude). A rejection is usually something like, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" or "i have a boyfriend" or the like.

Secondly, if you're nervous, you're opposite of the main character trait an alpha male MUST HAVE....confidence. Girls will smell your nervousness from a mile away.

You mentioned bitch shields. But you go into them being bitches or boring. What does that have to do with anything? I've never EVER seen a girl be a bitch to a guy who was fun, interesting, and confident (unless the guy said something offensive). If you did these things, you'd have no problem.

Also, what bitch shields have you possibly run into? I'd be interested in hearing your approach and the reaction by the girl. You just said earlier that you NEVER approach girls. If you've been trying this stuff on girls you already know, then ofcourse you're going to run into girls being bitch or non-responsive. They already know you as a chump. You can't do a 180 and expect them to flock to you.

This thread is for people who have the balls to approach girls they don't know. They see a girl they want, they walk up, talk for a bit, then get her number. Her number is something that should be EXPECTED....it's not a privilage. A lot of guys are afraid of approaching girls at first, but you just gotta do it. If you would do it, you'd see there's nothing to be afraid of.

Now listen to me carefully...

Take a shower, gel your hair, put on clean clothes, and go out to the mall or wherever lots of girls hang out and make sure you are looking your best. Make eye contact with a girl you are interested in when she's 20-30 feet away. DON'T LOOK AWAY. The second she looks at you, walk over and say hi. That's it. Hi is all you need (do this to EVERY single girl you find even slightly attractive). If you can come up with something to say about your surroundings, even better, but hi is really all you need. She'll say hi back, then just talk to her. Notice something unique about her quickly. Comment on it. Ask her what the story is behind that. Then, if things go well, get her number. If they're not going well, then say, "Nice meeting you" and walk away. That's all there is to it. If you can't do this, then stop coming to this thread. You're no more scared or intimidated then other guys on this thread were before they started approaching.

If a girl finds you well-groomed, and makes eye contact with you...she's interested. Go talk to her.

The other thing I wonder is how c/f are you actually. Lame c/f will just make you look like a jackass. Why don't you post some sample approaches and describe this bitch shield you're talking about and how you've encountered it. But seriously man, just go out and talk to girls. Chances are if you get rejected at the mall or someplace similar, you'll never see that girl again anyways.

Stop coming up with excuses and just go out and do it.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson: The simple art of Conversation[/b][/size][/color]

If you've ever watched Blind Date, I'm sure you've seen these two types of dates:

Date A: Conversation goes well. Guy and girl are talking and no awkward silences. These are usually the ones where both say they want a 2nd date

Date B: Conversation doesn't go well. Guy and girl talk a little, but it's just random questions here and there and full of awkward silences. These dates don't usually lead to a 2nd. Girl always says she didn't feel they made any type of connection.

If you're out with a girl, she needs to feel that you and her connected on a personal level. This connection leads to attraction or builds on it.

But most guys can't carry a conversation. They have no idea what to say, they ask a question, girl answers, then they sit there looking around because they ran out of questions. The girl thinks the guy is boring, dull, and unable to handle the simplest of tasks. Girls love to talk, but they will toss you aside if you can't keep them interested with a basic conversation.

Before I get into techniques and methods, you need to understand people love talking about themselves and enjoy the company of those who take a genuine interest in them. By doing this to a girl (in the right way), you let her talk about herself, but you control what she is talking about. You don't want to hear about her personal problems (intellectual whore). You just jump in every once-in-a-while with a "me too" statement to let her know that you guys are connecting. You GUIDE the conversation completely. This puts you in control. When the conversation starts heading off track, you bring it back.

80-90% of our communication is done non-verbally. Your body language is extremely important because it says more than you think. When you're talking to a girl, keep eye contact. Don't sit there staring at her chest or looking around the room at other people. Don't look like someone with a short attention span.

Tone is also very important. How you say something is more important than what you actually say.

Words, tone and body language make up a conversation. But words are the least of the 3. Keep in mind tone and body language will actually deliver what you're saying.

Take a genuine interest in what she's saying. Don't try to fake it. When she tells you she went to Europe for 3 months, don't say, "That's cool." That's a big thing. Ask her about it. What did she like? Where in Europe did she go? What were the people like? What differences are there between Europe and the US? You could talk to her for hours just about her trip.

Ok, now lets get into some techniques and tips for holding or initiating conversation.

1. Always be aware of your surroundings!
Some of the best conversation starters are based on what's going on around you. Maybe something funny happened, maybe there's a guy that looks like Tom Hanks. Maybe the girl dropped her cell phone in water. Whatever is going on around you, learn to use it to your advantage.

Ways to practice this: When you go out, look for things happening to people or in your surroundings. Then, approach anyone (guy or girl) and talk to him or her about it. Make it seem smooth and if you can, funny. Then, let that lead into more conversation. This is probably the best way to do a cold approach IMO.

2. Don't ask random questions!
This isn't 20 questions. Don't ask a girl a question and then proceed by asking her a totally unrelated question when she answers. Keep the questions related to her answer. Base what you say off of her response. DON'T PLAN OUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY NEXT. Go with the flow.

Guy: Do you live around here?
Girl: I actually live about 20 min away in __
Guy: Really? I hear they listen to quite a bit of rap in __ (just an example)
Girl: Yeah they do! I'm not too big on rap though. I prefer acoustic bands like John Mayer or Dave Matthews
Guy: Dave was just up at the Gorge for a concert last week. Did you see the concert?
Girl: I really wanted to go but got stuck working the whole weekend
Guy: etc etc

Instead of

Guy: Do you live around here?
Girl: I actually live about 20 min away in __
Guy: Cool. What kind of music do you listen to?
Girl: My favorite would have to be any acoustic bands
Guy: Did you go to the Dave Matthews Concert?
Girl: No, I got stuck working
Guy: Where do you work?

You see the difference? The first conversation is going step-by-step off of what she is saying. It's smooth and comfortable. She doesn't even realize you're changing the subject because it's done so smoothly. The second conversation is terrible. It's rough and she's practically being interrogated.

3. Keep the Conversations Positive
There's nothing people hate more than a negative person. You know the type: Those people that complain and argue about EVERYTHING. Always try to avoid anything negative. Stuff like

"This food sucks."
"Wtf is with this line?" (You could make a funny comment about the line, but don't complain about it)
"I hate.."

Girls don't want to hear your negative talk. It brings them down and gets annoying. Keep things positive. That doesn't mean to talk like, "Oh it's a splendid day! The sun is radiating and the birds are chirping a beautiful tune in the gentle breeze". But avoid being negative. NEVER whine or complain and don't argue.


4. Understand people have opinions where there is no right or wrong
I've met so many people who always have to argue with people's opinions. That's just their way of thinking. Don't agree with a girl just for the sake of agreeing. If you have a difference of opinion, and think you can back it up, then let her know you disagree, but do it in an adult-like manner. Don't insult her way of thinking. Just like you, she probably has reasoning for her opinion. You could ask her what her reasoning is behind that. Throw in your point of view, but acknowledge her points.

5. Nouning

This is a technique I read about that will help those of you who have trouble with conversation. You'll be able to hold a conversation without a problem. It could start with the simplest of questions like, "What did you do today?" You'll learn to do this with practice without even thinking about it, but for now, here's how you do it. (this is taken from another post)
quote:

You: So what do you do with yourself?

Her: Oh, Im in Trinity College in Dublin studying Law.

Take the nouns out of this reply... (Noun: a person place or thing!)

3 Nouns in her reply:

1- Trinity College
2- Dublin
3- Law

Pick any of these and ask her a question about it! Let's say you pick 'Dublin':

You: Dublin eh? So what do ya think of the place?

OR

You: So what's the nightlife like up there?

Or if you chose 'Law':

You: So what made you choose to do Law? Is it tough?

Then she'll answer with something like:

Her: (In regard to 'Dublin' nightlife) Yeah the nightlife's excellent, especially Club Spirit. Although it can be pretty rough after the clubs close, especially in Grafton Street!

Now repeat the process, taking out the nouns and asking her questions about them.

Nouns in the previous answer: Club Spirit, Grafton Street.

Make sense? This is an easy way to keep the conversation flowing from what she just told you. I'd suggest you go out to coffee with a friend that you don't know very well and see if you can keep the conversation going using this technique.

6. Use Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions are questions that require more than a yes or no answer, and they easily lead to more conversation. Examples:

What are you studying?
What did you do today?

How was...?
What are your thoughts on...?
What's your stance on...? (to get her opinion on something)
What do you like about...?
What do you think about...?

7. Men want facts; women want feelings
This of course is a generalization that I read somewhere: Men like to cut to the facts. They don't like all the small talk and stuff in between. Men organize thoughts in their head and then say what needs to be said. Women use talking as a means to organize their thoughts.

Women also like to talk about feelings and how something makes them feel. The feelings associated with things. Have you ever talked to a girl for months, but the conversations were just based on facts, so you never really got to know the girl? What you want to do is take any facts she gives you, and dig deeper to get to feelings.

Girl: I really like Brad Pitt.
Guy: What is it about him that you like?
Girl: Well he's got a great sense of style. He pulls off different looks and they all work for him. He seems really confident and...

You want to get her to expand on her original thought. Let her talk but make sure you're controlling where the conversation is going. Never let the conversation go out of your control!

8. Listen to Her!
I'm sure you've all heard girls complain about guys that don't listen. If you ask the girl the proper questions and just sit back and listen, she'll tell you exactly how to seduce her. She'll tell you what she looks for, what she likes, and what she doesn't like. You guide the conversation then use this so you know what she wants to hear and how she wants to hear it. If any of you have ever done sales, you'll know what I'm talking about. Always let the customer talk first and they'll tell you what they want to hear.


Girls like guys who can keep them interested. Try to keep the conversation different. Take risks. Talk to her about stuff other guys usually wouldn't; you'll stick in her mind. Watch the news so you know what's going on in the world. You can use that to get opinions out of her if you need something to talk about.

One more technique, which is a little more advanced, is using statements instead of questions. This isn't to carry a conversation, it's just a technique you can use to change things up a bit and display a lot of confidence.

Are you tired of meeting weird guys?
=> You must be tired of meeting weird guys.

What school do you go to?
=> So tell me what school you're from

How was your day?
=> Tell me about your day

They usually start with

"So...", "Then..."
"You must..."
"You could..."
"It must be..."

Statements they take a position and a risk. If you say, "I prefer dogs", you're taking a risk. She might prefer cats. Saying, "I'm not interested in a long term relationship right now" is taking a risk.

Making these statements shows her your courage and confidence instead of being a guy who sits back and asks safe questions. It also gives you more control because you're telling her to tell you something, not asking her nicely (but stating it isn't rude either).

You don't need Q-Cards to keep a conversation going. Just go with what she says. It's as easy as that.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #13-How to Make Yourself Look Better[/b][/size][/color]

Looks aren't everything, but they sure do make a difference. Looks are an attention-getter. They get girls to notice you, open up opportunities for eye contact, which then lead into an effortless approach. Keep in mind girls won't make eye contact with you because you have a good personality; how will they know what you're like? They can only be initially interested in you based on if you're physically appealing to them. You don't even have to be super good-looking, you just have to take care of yourself and you'll notice a HUGE difference. And once they do make eye contact, that's when your personality comes through.

There are several things you can do to make yourself look better. Jr. Year in High School I didn't get any attention from girls...Senior Year I turned into one of the hottest guys in the school and had girls I didn't even know wanting me. A lot of you guys have been out there approaching women but may not have done these simple things that can really make a big difference. So here they are.

Body
You can't control the shape of your nose, the size of your lips or the color of your eyes, but you can control what your body is like. If you're overweight, diet down and drop the fat. If you're skinny, hit the weight room and put on some muscle. Body makes a big difference in your overall looks. Clothes look better on you, you gain an incredible amount of confidence, and you look good.

Learn to Dress
So many of my guy friends go out in the same crappy jeans every night and they may switch up wearing a t-shirt or a sweatshirt. Their shoes are all beat up. They don't look good. They recycle clothes every week and they don't even know how to buy clothes that properly fit. Their t-shirts are too big, sweatshirts are all beat up, and they look like every other guy there. The important thing about dressing is YOU NEED TO STAND OUT IN A GOOD WAY. I suggest you develop your own style and make sure your clothes are unique. You'll always stand out and girls will sometimes approach you.

Lets start out with t-shirts.

I'll occasionally go out in jeans and a t-shirt, but I make sure I have a clean look to me. First of all, I have a good body, which gives me an advantage right off the bat. The t-shirts I wear don't wear me. They fit my body and look good. Avoid huge t-shirts or those XXL football jerseys. I stay away from t-shirts that have sleeves past the halfway mark of my bicep. I really like quicksilver T's, but make sure whatever you get fits your style.

Pants
I suggest you go out and buy a lot of clothes. I personally love shopping. Pants are huge though. The pants you wear can really make or break you. I like Express Mens/Structure jeans a lot (and the rest of their clothes for that matter). Gap and Old Navy occasionally make good jeans, and I like the occasional pair at Abercrombie. Union Bay even makes some good jeans. I NEVER buy the jeans that are smaller at the bottom. Get the boot-cut jeans. You can go down to Ross or TJ Maxx and pick up nice clothes for real cheap. Go with whatever style suits you. I don't feel comfortable in pants that are really tight. I also don't like pants that can hold 3 other people. I wear jeans that will stay on my waist without a belt (although I wear a belt), but are baggy enough for comfort.

Shoes
Women LOVE shoes! If every time a girl sees you, you're wearing a different pair of shoes, she's GOING TO NOTICE. You definitely want to go with your basic white and black shoes. For white I love the Stan Smiths, but any nice, casual, walking shoes will do. These will go with pretty much any outfit and give you a clean, but casual look. Just make sure you keep them white and when they start to wrinkle up and look bad, get a new pair. For dress shoes, I like to have a brown pair and a black pair. Doc Martens are really nice, but pricey. Skechers makes some good shoes also. Just make sure your shoes go with your entire outfit. If I'm wearing a fully unbuttoned collar shirt with a black undershirt for example, I'll usually go with black shoes to match with the undershirt. Women notice these subtle details.

If you have any long-sleeve collar shirts, the unbuttoned sleeve/slightly rolled up sleeve is in. This looks great with a watch and a ring. Avoid tucking in (just make sure your shirts aren't to long) unless you're wearing a tie, but MAKE SURE the shirt isn't too long. It has to be just the right length.

In general, make sure you dress well. Don't be afraid to go out and spend some money on good clothes. If you don't know what you're doing, either find a guy friend who seems to dress well or a girl to go shopping with and help you out.

Develop your own style. Don't imitate everyone else. If you can stand out in a good but unique way, you'll get noticed...trust me. Also, watch some celebrities and see how they're dressing. Look up photo galleries of people like Carson Daly, Brad Pitt, maybe even Ricky Martin. When you're out, if you see a guy who is dressed well, pay attention to what he's wearing and any minor details such as accessories he may have on. Get some ideas and develop your own style.

Hairstyle
Have you ever seen someone who didn't comb their hair one day, and looked totally different? Hair makes a big difference in your overall look. You could even move up or down the scale just based on your hair. I think it was David DeAngelo who suggested going to a gay hairstylist and letting them pick out a hairstyle for you. It seems as if the short/spiky/messy hairstyle is in (check out pictures of Brad Pitt for what I'm talking about, although he changes his hair every week). Once you get your hair cut properly, you can achieve this look with gel, mousse, or pomade. Also, don't trim the sideburns up to your ear. I think this look always looks better with sideburns. Also make sure your hair is always trimmed. I like getting a haircut every 2 weeks on the dot.

Teeth
If you haven't noticed this, next time you watch TV, look at people's teeth. You'll notice that they ALL have white teeth. You don't notice it cause they all do it, but a subtle change like this makes a difference. Try getting some crest whitening kits and whitening your teeth.

Nails
Keep them clean and trim. Girls notice nails.

Glasses
Switch to contacts or make sure you have stylish new glasses.

Facial Hair
Shave everyday. If you have a good look with facial hair (go-tee or thin stubble) make sure it's trimmed and/or combed. Keep all other hair trimmed or shaved. If you're starting to develop a unibrow, get rid of it!

Accessories
These nice little accessories make subtle changes that affect your overall appearance. Dont overdo the accessories though. Keep them light.

Watch
Get a nice watch that will go with most of your outfits. Maybe even a unique one that will get people to comment on it. Just make sure it doesn't look cheap. Expect to spend $70+ on a nice watch. I personally don't like Fossils. I'd go for something like Kenneth Cole (KC) or similar. I have a KC and girls comment on it ALL the time. I think it only ran me $105.

Ring(s)
Get a plain silver ring or two. They're not too pricey. I have a silver ring that I wear on my right index finger that girls always comment on.

Necklaces
I love the casual necklaces. I have a 18k gold one that I rarely wear, I usually wear the simple/casual kind. You can find some nice ones at skater stores like Pac Sun or Zumiez. $20 or less.

Cologne
Girls love it when a guy smells good. But don't go for standard colognes. Try using something not extremely common. I rarely wear cologne, but when I do, I get really good feedback from women. I have a bottle of Jean Paul (green and white bottle shaped like a human body), which girls absolutely love. Hugo Boss is the only cologne I use that may be more common. Go to the Bon or Nordstrom's and try out their colognes. Go for some Italian ones. Spray it on a card and go ask a girl what she thinks. Also go for different smells. Don't wear the same cologne when you see a girl again. Switch up the smell, she'll notice.

Skin
Keep your skin nice, clean, and smooth. Don't be afraid to use some moisturizer. If you have acne, get rid of it. Get it treated. And tan! Tanning looks great to women!

For those of you who are wondering, I usually go for a nice casual look. I look like I'm dressed up but I also look very casual and comfortable (shoes usually can determine if you look dressed up or casual). I don't wear dress shoes too often. But that's just me. Make sure whatever style you develop fits you.

When you do go shopping, find out what kinds of clothes look good and what colors you look best in/combinations. Go into stores you have never been to and make sure you try on everything! Switch up your style and try new things. I haven't done this, but I've heard of guys getting together 3-4 girls and having them pick out his clothes and getting good results. After all, it is women you are trying to sleep with.

Now, clothes and hair are great, but presenting yourself is what's going to sell. Look confident. Keep your chest out and shoulders back (but please don't look like those people who think they're better than everyone else). Don't overdo it.

Slow down your walk. Avoid sudden movements. Work on your talking. Project your voice and make sure you pause here and there. Practice your voice tone.

Dressing nice and having a decent body will do wonders for you. You'll be amazed at the changes; it's like a whole new world. You'll go places and girl's eyes will be all over you. You'll walk into a party and you'll be able to quickly tell how many girls there like what they see. They'll let you know...

These are just tips to help out those of you who have trouble. This isn't the ONLY way to dress, just some suggestions.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #14-Supplication at its Worst
[/b][/size][/color]

The main reason there are so many AFC's is Supplication. Almost 75% of the reason why an AFC is an AFC is because of this reason. So you don't exactly know what supplication is? Well let me introduce you to supplication my friend because it is going to get ugly and rear its hideous head.

Definition(my terms)-

Supplication(n.)- Giving in to someone, submitting yourself to a superior, being "nice"

Now shut up and listen. This was a sticking point for me. If you had never realized and discovered this thread, you would not figure out supplication. Now I will give you indicators of supplication tests. Ex.s below:

Key Phrases

"Hey, can you help me on this quiz, test, hw, etc."- can be in context with non school work

"Hey, can you get me that extra ketchup(or something materialistic)"- it is forcing you to get something for the superior, thus you are beta

"Hey, hold my bag for me will you(or hold something)"- same as above

"Could you give me a hand(or 'could you help me')"- this is really supplicative

NOW, this one was a TRICKY one. After months of in field work, i figured out this so SUBTLE supplication test. Trust me, don't fight against this, it may not seem like supplication but it is. It is like the most secretive form of supplication. I figured this out so dont steal it .

"Hey, what does blah blah blah mean"- this in context if you are in a foreign language class or english class

It may not happen with you but if you ever encounter this, you are prepared thanks to me. This is SO SUBTLE. I realized it after like couple of months. It is forcing you to actually help the chick, it is a form of supplication, she is in control. You will notice that "you are helping(hence supplicating to her). This is so CRUCIAL, i can't emphasize it more through this post through black text. This is like a technicality I noticed so subtely. This will up your game.

Why bother concentrating on supplication?

Now some of you guys will be thinking- so what, its just one thing you're helping with. Trust me, it piles up. It will become a habit and so forth and supplication is the fastest way possible to get in the LJBF(friendship) zone. YOU DO NOT WANT THAT. Now, this is only one part of the equation. Use it and internalize it. It will help your game tremendously. Answer with sarcasm to some of the questions above. Answer with "im busy, or i gotta go somewhere", some lame excuse- do it. Supplication is DEADLY, so many guys do it- don't be that guy. You guys don't notice that this is like 75% to success.

Indicators of Supplication

To indicate that you are indeed supplicating, here are some of the signs if you are doing it.

4 Major Steps Check List:

1. You are helping the chick
2. The chick is in demand
3. The chick is in control of the frame
4. You are answering with direct answers

Not responding to supplication is GOLD. Chicks dig guys that they can't control hence furthering the attraction. This guide I give you ups the scale by plenty in your game.

The idea of not responding to supplication is that you are your own man. You are alpha. You are the dominant one and everyone else will submit themselves to you. See if you are alpha with my guide, chicks and GUYS alike will start submitting to you. They see you are no joke and they won't take you lightly. Almost everyone supplicates.

LJBF Indicators

1. She calls you "nice", "sweet", "charming" or anything of that kind
2. She blatantly says the phrase "Lets just be friends" or "you're such a good friend"
3. She tells you of all her problems, annoyances, situations, etc.- You are guaranteed LJBF'ed
4. You stay on the phone for more than 5 minutes
5. She gives excuses all the time to you if you offer anything such as meeting up or something

Now the technique here is to LJBF her- it's reverse chick logic at its best. A chick has LJBF'ed different guys countless times. By doing this technique, it seems like she has no chance with you and you have made youself "unavailable" such as that she thinks she can't get anything from you or hook up with you. Now if she responds like all cheerfully and stuff when you LJBF her, you were already LJBF'ed by her so NEXT this chick.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #15-You Want Her, You Don't[/b][/size][/color]

Ok since a lot of you are still transforming from AFC's to super Alpha males, I'd like to introduce you to a come situation that you'll run into time and time again once you become a established PUA. Just run this scenario through your head with me.


You meet a HB and you have a high interest level. You get the opportunity to work your C/F and she's taking the bait like a big fish. So now you've reeled her in and have complete control over her. She's definitely a good looking broad and her interest level keeps rising for you. However you on the other hand for one reason or another are losing interest. But why?? I'll tell you....

90% of women like to give off the impression that they play "the game" better than anyone else they know. Once you've get to dissect their brains on a few get together's they'll tell you things like "I have to have a challenge otherwise I lose interest." Or some other variation of this line. The real reason women say all these things is because they been around some many AFC's for their entire dating lives. When an Alpha Male walks into the picture they crumble and don't know what to do or say. Within a few weeks they (girls) turn into AFC's themselves!!! LOL They call you ALL the time, they tell you how much they like you etc. From a guy's standpoint this just get's old!!

As human beings we have been conditioned to like "the chase." Once this part dies off, its inevitable that you'll lose interest and move on to someoene else. Now I know super HB's probably won't get NEXT'D as quickly but eventually they get boring too.

That's the whole purpose of this thread. To teach you how to be selective and weed out the pretenders, from the real players. So don't be afraid to NEXT a HB even if she hasn't done anything wrong. Actually when you really think about it, that just might be the problem, they never do anything wrong.

Lesson #16 Alpha Male at a Party


So school's starting back up for a lot us and that means 2 things: Super Hot Babes and plenty of Keg filled parties Over the past few months you've been learning how to become more confident with yourself and portraying that confidence to all the girls you meet. However, while all the techniques we have taught work to perfection if you do them correctly, being an Alpha Male at a Party is a little different. Let's look at why that's the case:


TONE OF VOICE!!!: I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS preech about having a deep, seductive tone of voice when you talk to girls. Its true, this works and makes girls more attracted to you. However, at a party, where there's loud music, you would sound like an absolute jack-ass if you approach a girl and try to sound like some Rico Suave pimp. Now if you get her alone in a room or a quiet place then you should use the tone of voice, but chances are that you'll meet up with a bunch of girls on the dance floor, or a crowded hall way with blaring music.


ATTITUDE!!!: Now you never want to go away from appearing confident and Alpha, but you should add a new element to your "bag of tricks" at a party. THE FUN GUY!!! Think about it, everytime you go to a party there is ALWAYS one guy who talks to EVERYONE, is loud smiling and really enjoying the party. This guy can get laid just because of his attitude. Trust me, girls notice this ****. The girls came to a party to have fun, and if he's the center of all that fun they'll be VERY OPEN to his advances.


MINGLE!!! Unless your building tremendous rapport with one of the hottest girl's at the party, WALK AROUND!!! Don't be that tool who hold's his plastic cup of cheap $2 beer and drools at all the girl's with his friend. Go walk around, you'll be ****ting your pants at how many incredibly fine ass girls are at the party. When I go to a party where I don't know anyone except for a friend or 2, I usually "feel out the situation" for about 10 minutes and then spot out my "victim" and immediately approach. But logicallly think to yourself. All these girls are there to hook up, have fun and meet new people. You can give them all of that by being confident, talking to tons of people(girl's and guys) and becoming the center of attention.

Work Jealously to the Max: This should be embedded in the front of all your minds if it isn't already. Ok, we will never completely understand chicks, right? Ok, but what we do know is they are EXTREMELY JEALOUS beings. How many times have you told a girl you can't hang out on this night because you already have plans etc. And what's the next thing the chick says?? "Who are you hanging out with?? Or "do you have a date tonight??" LOL If she's asking you these questions, you should ummm....."strecth the truth.." Well Jealousy is a lot more evident at parties. The next time your at a party, spot out a HB that you want. Lay all the ground work and go talk to her for a while. Then suddenly excuse yourself and go talk to other HB's right in front of her. See if you catch her staring out of the corner of your eye. Or better yet, came back after you excuse yourself and ask her friend to dance with you. The orginial HB will most likely have a look like "WTF" when you leave her hanging. Don't worry, this is doing nothing except increasing her attraction for you. As the alcohol kicks in some girl's get quite aggressive, so don't be surprised if she comes and butts in and is pleading for your attention.



FOCUS: Ever remember back in your major AFC days when you felt like you weren't trying at all and you found out that a chick liked you?? And then when you wanted a girl soooooooooo bad she'd never be interested? Eventually your bros and yourself came up with a theory that the "less you try" the more you get!! LOL What bull****!!! Can you look back at these days and realize what was going on?? You were being an Alpha male filled with confidence without even knowing it with all the girls that liked you who you didn't care for. And you were being a supplicating AFC bitch with the SHB's you wanted. When ever you go to a party you should play a #'s game in your head. Its not, will I hook up tonight, its how many girls will I hook up with tonight?? Obiviously it depends on if there are hot chicks there, but most likely there are always a handful. Look at the top athletes in professional sports. Did Jordan ever doubt that he'd make the buzzer beating game winning shot?? NOPE!! And although he missed his share, he made A LOT!! His confidence was so high he never doubted he'd come through. This is the same mentality that an Alpha Male should have at a party. Your always going to hit road blocks, but you should barrel through them and keep on truckin'!!


Rejection: Well unless your incredibly drunk, you should never really get rejected when you move in for a kiss because of the "kiss test" but if you do, who gives a ****??? Ditch her and find a new whore to get with. Do it right infront of the girl that rejected you 5 minutes earlier and suddenly you'll be "a lot more attractive" to the first girl. Remember we've said it before, rejection should never be taken personally, it happens for a # of different reasons. Lots of girls deny guys they REALLY REALLY LIKE the first few times to make them more interested in them. However if a girl does this to you at a party (assuming you've never met her before the party) ditch her and find someone else. You don't have time for bull**** "games"


Finally I'd like to say, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be able to approach 10 girls at a party. All the odds are in your favor. Alcohol, horny people, and good music. Go live it up bros, be the guy I described and your penis will thank you....

I have just one more thing to add to Sauce's post on party's (BTW excellent tips). I'm still a little new to the bigger party scene where I don't know everyone since I just graduated High School, but I went to my first frat party on Wednesday and came up with an awesome technique that works great.

There was this girl there that was the best looking girl I've ever seen. She had the hair, body, face, and everything going for her. Well the problem was that every single guy in the party was aware of her and talking about her. At any given moment there were 4-5 guys around her and I didn't know how I was going to approach with all those cock blocks.

The guys were totally hitting on her, and she wasn't buying any of it. She was constantly looking around (bad body language) and it was obvious she didn't want to be talking to them. So here's what I discovered.

Stand 10-20 feet away from the HB where she can see you. Make sure you're talking to a girl and start flirting with the target from a distance. This can usually be done with just eye contact. When I was talking with this girl, I'd look over at the HB and lock eye contact with her. I did this a couple times and noticed positive signals like her locking eye contact w/me obviously, mirroring my body language (ex: I check my watch, she checks hers), etc. So I did this for a few minutes and it worked awesome. The girl came over and approached me, but thanks to all the horny ass guys there, I didn't have opportunity to number close because they were all over her! We talked for a little then I moved on. I'll close her next time I see her at the frat.

Another variation of this technique is to find out who the girl came with (even better if she came with other girls...Girls are extremely competitive with their girl friends for guys) and go talk to them while doing the distance flirting. The girl is always going to be looking around to see what her friends are doing/who they're talking to, and if you're distance flirting, she'll come over. It's a great excuse for her too...her friends are there. Then you ca work your game on her, and since you were talking to her friends, they won't cock block you because they all like you.

You can play out her friends even more as a way to make her jealousy increase. When the HB came over, she did becuase you were flirting with her and she thinks you're interested. Now if you act interested in one of her friends, she'll be like WTF! Why isn't this guy hitting on ME? I'm the best looking girl here anyways. Then she'll try to up her game even more to get a reaction out of you. (Keep in mind you already created some intial attraction with the distance flirting).

When a girl wonders how you actually feel about her (becuase you've given her signs that make her think you are attracted, but then you throw her for a loop), she'll be ALL OVER YOU becuase she HAS to know. And the hotter the girl is, the easier it will be because she's used to the attention from guys and EXPECTS it. If you're not giving her that, she'll wonder what's wrong and start chasing after you. And as soon as you get a girl to start chasing you, they usually turn AFC.

Be confident
Put your chest out, shoulders back, head up. Don't look like you think the world of yourself (you know what I'm talking about); just look confident. Posture is really important. Don't speed through there. Slow down your motions.

2. Look nice
Like I said earlier, be dressed well. Sauce mentioned this a few posts up about the looks he got when he dressed well. I usually dress a nice, clean, casual look which gets enough attention. But when I really want attention, I'll go for a more dressed up look. Collar shirts, dress shoes, etc, but don't OVER-DO it. I can't believe the difference in attention I get. But if this isn't your style, don't try to pull it off.

3. Make EC with her
Like anywhere else, don't be ashamed of being attracted to a woman. You're a man! So many guys look away because they've been conditioned to think it's bad to show that they're men. You gotta be confident and look her straight in the eyes and let her know you're not some wussy going in there. You're confident in yourself to hold EC with her, and if she doesn't look away, neither do you. Either approach her right there or continue doing what you were doing but as you move around the store, make EC with her. Don't make it seem like you're checking her out or she may think you're some kind of sick stalker (*cough AFC *cough*). Wait till she's looking in your general direction then make EC with her and give her that look. If you haven't mastered the look, stand in front of your mirror and practice. You gotta give her the look that lets her know you're interested in more than buying whatever it is you went to buy. And look for indicators of interest (IOI)

Then walk up, chat her up (use C/F if the opportunity arises), then # close and get the hell out of there.

Just because she's working doesn't mean she puts her hormones in a bag until after she's clocked out. EC and a smile is the most common "come talk to me" technique women use. Look for it, and don't think otherwise when you get it. It's a sign of interest and you need to make your move instead of leaving then regretting not talking to her. Guys that do this never correct the problem and walk up to the next girl that shows IOI. They always walk out with regrets...everytime.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #16-Increasing Attraction[/b][/size][/color]

This is a basic principle of attraction but it's a more advanced technique. I'll start out with a scenario:

Guy likes girl. He isn't sure if the girl likes him. She keeps giving him mixed signals. Guy confesses his feelings to the girl and the girl tells him that she's not ready for a relationship (or whatever other excuse).

Not only have I personally been in this scenario in the past...many times, but also I hear about it ALL the time. The guy actually becomes so attracted to the girl that he is always thinking about her, wondering about her, does she like him? Why the mixed signals? So he feels it's necessary to confess his feelings. If you were to do this:

1. She's in control
You're no longer the selector-you're the selectee. She's going to have to choose you and you're going to have to sit back with regrets.

2. You're not a mystery
She knows exactly how you feel about her and there's no challenge or mystery. This is unattractive. And these types of guys usually end up acting as if they're in a relationship when they're not. Tend to be clingy and whipped. They take orders from the girl.

3. You killed the attraction
Mystery creates attraction; as soon as she knows for sure that you like her 100%, you're saying that you're willing to do anything and everything to be with her. She won't start a relationship with you or date you, but I guarantee you she'll use you as an intellectual whore and as an emotional tampon. You'll take her out and buy her stuff, drive her ass around, and hang out with her when she has nothing else to do. She has no respect whatsoever for you.

But the question is, how did the girl increase the attraction? She gave the guy MIXED SIGNALS! This is amazing how well this works. When you get a girl initially attracted, then give her mixed signals, she's going to be DIEING to know how you feel about her. If you act as if you're not trying to get with her, but at the same make her think you are attracted, she'll be like wtf! She won't be able to figure you out and she will do anything humanly possible to seduce you. I've had girls literally throw themselves at me and take commands like a dog would from me because they couldn't figure me out and/or weren't getting the reactions they wanted from me.

Now don't forget that there NEEDS to be initial attraction. If there is no initial attraction, by giving the girl mixed signals, you're actually doing her a favor. But once there is initial attraction, the mixed signals will throw her for a loop and make her try harder. She turns AFC on YOU and chases after you. These girls will do anything you want them to once you have them in this position.

David Deangelo talked a lot about this. He uses the friend's method. "Hey, you seem nice... like you might make a nice FRIEND. Give me your number and I'll call you next week and maybe we can be FRIENDS."

The girl is already initially attracted and wonders why the guy isn't interested in more than just being friends. No guys ever say this to women! They want to find out why you aren't interested in them as more than friends. Is she not attractive enough? Is she not flirting hard enough? It's fun to see the reactions you get, but be careful with this cause I know a lot of guys mess this one up because they don't have a balance.

[b][size=6][color=blue]Lesson #17-Getting past the kissing[/b][/size][/color]

Before I start talking about advancing past making out, you're going to need to work on your kissing. Girls when they are attracted to you will want to know what you kiss like. They're actually DIEING to know. When a girl is REALLY attracted to you, she expects you to be a great kisser. She has this fantasy of you in her head when your game is that good, and if you don't live up to that, it's a big turn off. Plus it comes off as if you don't kiss girls often cause you don't know how.

David DeAngelo says that you should take everything one step at a time, and always be advancing. Sauce already posted the kiss test, so once you're kissing a girl and making out, then you gotta learn how to get her hot. Guys are a lot easier to turn on; but you gotta do a little more ground work with girls.

Teasing is AMAZING! What you want to do is find something that turns your girl on, or just start with something and wait till you get a positive reaction. For example, as sauce mentioned in the kiss test post, kiss her for a while, then just stop, lean back and look at her in the eye. When she opens her eyes, lean in as if you're going to kiss her again and begin the teasing. Just as your lips are about to touch rub your cheek on hers and start smelling her. Just smell her hair, neck and shoulders and slowly start kissing her in these areas. As soon as you start getting positive signals and know what really turns her on, then use that as bait. Stop doing what you're doing and move to somewhere else. Then slowly start to come back to that area and right before you get there, back off. Or tease her around that area or get close to doing what she likes but don't do it. I like using c/f the whole time. I can't explain it or give you lines, just look for opportunities.

Once she's turned on, continue the teasing. Make her beg. Things will slowly progress. Once she's really turned on, you've got her. What you can even do is if she tries to unzip your pants or go down, tell her that she needs to slow down and that you're not ready to go that far. lol. I love this. Since the girl is so turned on, she won't take no for an answer. She might say she respects your decision or come up with some other BS, but I guarantee you she's going to keep trying and trying until you break. The rest is pretty much self-explanatory...

Don't try to progress until you have her really turned on. I had good success with a girl who I was watching TV on the bed with by just massaging her lower back. I started just outside of the shirt, and then as she started to get turned on, I pulled her shirt up slightly and started massaging her lower back. She LOVED it! If you don't know how to give a good massage, then find a girl friend that will let you practice and tell you what feels good. Massages are gold too. Start out with a shoulder rub or a back-massage and go from there. Start kissing her neck and shoulders and once you find out what she likes, use it to tease her. Once she's turned on, then you're in.

The goal is to make sure YOU are in control, NOT HER! Don't let her use sex as bait; YOU use it as bait. Once she's turned on she's helpless. Then, once she's in this position, don't go in for the kill yet-turn her on even more. Make her experience better...don't rush anything. You need to take your time with women and slow things down.

And use your hands. Stroke her hair while you're kissing her. Move your hands on/around her face gently and slowly. Use your fingertips. Move your hands down and rub her thighs and hips. Don't hit any personal areas yet. You want to keep her in suspense...and if you go to early you might blow your chances. Girls don't want to look like sluts, so they may turn you down not because they don't want to, but because they don't want to look like a slut. Girls want it just as bad as guys if not more. So what you do is get her turned on (that way she can't turn you down...she's horny), then make her want to, and YOU tease her with it and tell her that she's moving to fast or any other line a girl would say to a guy. If you do this once you have her turned on it'll drive her INSANE!

Keep in mind ANTICIPATION BUILDS ATTRACTION. Girls love being surprised and not knowing what's next. Don't be predictable. Start then Stop for a second Keep doing it. When you find something that turns a girl on, stop and do something else. Guys usually want to keep going, but their anticipation and desire builds as you do this. (this last paragraph paraphrased from David D)
 

[b][color=blue][size=6]Lesson #18-CLASSROOM FLIRTING!![/b][/size][/color]

Ok ok, I know what most of you might be thinking. "Why is Sauce writing a lesson on flirting/PU chicks in the same class when he ALWAYS says not to date girls from your class?? Well here's why. I never said DO NOT date girls from your class, I said only pursue girls in your classes if they show a very high interest level. However even if they show a high initial interest level it can still come back to kick you in the ass if things go bad because we all know a school semester usually lasts longer than a relationship Even so, here are the vital tips you should know to bag up the HB in your class.


When the first few class meetings occur, most AFC's scope out the scene for HB's just as Alpha's do. However the AFC panics and wants to "stake his claim" on the HB right away. So he'll go and try to sit right by her right then or the next class and see where it goes. Most girls, especially HB's know right away that your picking up on them when you act so quickly. So here's what I like to do.


My school semester is 16 weeks long. That's a LONG time!! You guys all remember the story about the tortise and the rabbit right? You know the one where they race and they rabbit uses his blazing speed while the tortise uses his brain and eventually wins the race. Well think of yourself as the tortise in this situation. As each week goes by you'll notice more and more chumps making their pass at her. But you don't have one thing to worry about because they're fukin' AFC's!! They'll mess it up sooner than later. At this point you want to make sure you've established EC repeatedly, but that's it!!! No smiles or moving your seat closer and closer to her's. Just keep it at that. Eventually half way through the semester all the AFC's that have not hit on her will decide not to once they see how many other AFC's she's already turned down. This leaves you with the perfect opportunity to slowly move in and start your seduction game on her.

You can do this a few different ways. You can keep on making EC and then adding a smile after and seeing if she's receptive. If she is then after class walk up to her and work your magic. If you established enough rapport in the brief amount of time you had, she'll probably sit next to you in the next class session. Then EVERYONE in the class, especially the AFC's will automatically think you 2 are together. This completely eliminates your competition for the rest of the semester. Now the only thing you have left is your final exam, WINNING HER OVER. Now I cannot emphasize how important this next point is. Do NOT start talking to her a lot in class once you 2 sit next to eachother. This will make her assume that your just like the rest and she'll lose interest very quickly. If she is the one yapping her trap more to you, use a C/F technique by putting your finger to your lips and "shooooshing" her. Smile after this and tell her your disturbing your learning enviorment. In college classes that meet 2-3x a week for 60-75 minutes you want to minimize the small talk and limit your overall conversation in general so you keep that bit of mystery about you.

Secondly make sure that once you as for a get together, you ask her for a weekday. I still see too many guys on this thread say they're going to ask a girl to chill "this Friday or Saturday." Remember your an ALPHA MALE, your time is very valuable and the weekends are always booked for your bros.

From here on out just keep up the C/F and start talking to other girls in the class, hot or not. See if she gets jealous or if she shows other common signs of interest. Such as asking you what you did this weekend, etc. Remember if you didn't do anything exciting, make it seem like it was exciting. I'm telling you to lie, just strecth the truth as much as you can.



And that is how you can easily start bangin' that HB who wears those tight short skirts, with her tube top, while you drool over her tan body thinking of ways to say a cool creative opener. Remember the ABSOLUTE best opener is "Hi, I noticed you from across the room and really wanted to meet you." Girls will give you weird looks when you say this, but its only because they're shocked at your confidence and approach. Trust me, they LOVE IT!!!

Have a great weekend, I've got 2 HUGE parties to go to so I expect A LOT of good things to happen.

Yes this another good ol' LucidD post. So you can hit the "page down" button (DonovanMD)

In order to change the way you act you have to change the way you THINK
You may have the best pick up line in the world. But its pretty much useless if you dont know how to put it to use. Atleast before this thread most of you guys were "IGNORANT" and had an excuse. But now to all tha rAFC (recovering AFC ...coz after u know where u went wrong..you hopefully wont be repeating it again and hence "recovering") You dont have one! and you might feel worse if you "know what to do" but you "can't do it"
(Matrix: "Theres a differnece between knowing the path and walking the path")
Attitudes you should start living by....-

I MAKE NO EXCUSES AS A MAN
I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MYSELF
I DONT NEED YOU, YOU NEED ME
IF YOU DONT WANNA BE WITH ME ITS YOUR LOSS!
MY TIME IS PRECIOUS, SO DONT WASTE IT
YOU CANT CONTROL ME
I DONT GET RATTLED BY SETBACKS, I SIMPLY LEARN BY THEM
I GLANCE AT WHAT I MIGHT LOOS, BUT I FOUCS ON WHAT I CAN WIN
I CAN GET ANY WOMEN I DESIRE


Stop making EXCUSES if you get caught lookin at a SHB then say
it! " instead of.."uh..ah ..did I?"
Stop making excuses when your asking a women out. After all Testosterone does run thru ur viens and its only natural to have those "Animal Desires".

A great deal of sucess and power with women has nothing to do about the way you act and feel about them . STOP NEEDING them so much.
Most women do not feel "Complete" if they dont have a man next to them but that doesnt make a difference to us men...we are still MEN whether we have a women or not they "NEED US" more (and now moresoever since men are becoming "rare" you'll find that in most places in the world there are more WOMEN than Men). Never start putting a women on a pedestal and never believe she is superior than you and she is doing a favour by spending time with you!...
Dont let "Getting LAID" be your most essential goal. If you do you might loose sight of your other priorities and in a sense you loose all the "Fun" aspects and it gets to be a cumpulsion. Women definately make nice additions to your life , but a life spent nothing but chasing women is a pretty stupid one.
You might be shocked to learn that an evening with a good book can be more stimulating than a boring date with dumb bimbo with huge fake tits .
So STOP NEEDING women so much and a good way to do it is by doing something that gets you AWAY from them.
You'll soon find out that your confidence will increase that will lead greater sucess with women (the more laid back you are, the more u get laid).
Make a List of the qualities you have make a list of achievements you have accomplished. Look at it...look at it again..and probably ur thinkin"geez is that really me"? doesnt it feel good.? And your probably thinkin right now "I'm just as good if not better than that average joe with that hot chick".
There is one "magic" word that will make you "irresistable" in the eyes of women that word is.........
"NO"
You must use it once in a while...but dont overkill it! It especially does wonders when your pursuing a SHB as you'll be more of a "challange" When a women senses that you have self respect and You have your boundaries of what you tolerate and whats allowed, she knows she found out what she wants = "a man she can never hope to control".
Just like anyother aspect of life you must understand that Picking Up women successfully needs a lotta PRACTICE. No, picking up women wasnt magically blessed quality innate with all the successfull PUA's. They have practiced their butts off...and in time started perfecting their games..there probably was a time when they were total AFCs without a clue and faced rejection a lotta times but they never took the rejections "Personally" since she doesnt know a thing about you! so how could she possibly be rejecting you??? you got to understand is she was just

- Rejecting your approach. So we should change it accordingly
-She probably wasnt in the right state of mind
-She just got burnt ....
etc..etc.

So the point is DONT take it personally. The best PUA in the world have probably been rejected the most but that didnt stop them from trying, being persistant and fastidous in what they were doing. They knew in time the WILL becom better and most of all they didnt take it personally.

When you a SHB in close proximity this might be going thru ur brain.

"ok she is smokin man!"
"wow check out that fine ass...damn!!!"
"ok ..ok..lets see what line I can use- it has to bee extreemly witty!...cocky and funny ..and it should pack a punch!!!..ok think.."
"man she's too hot for me she might say get the f*&ck away looser"
"that 300 pound guy over there is proabaly her boy friend...he might just sit on me!..."
"I'll probably make a fool of myself if I say anything"
"**** my brain is fried!...I cant think straight!...."
(ur trembling like a volcano and sweating ur butt off!)

STOP
kool down your horses stop thinking negative first! And start thinking something like this....

"Ok spotted a SHB...not bad..not bad"
(made some good EC, walking up to her)
"She's probably never seen a guy with class, and style who can confidently approach her"
"you've done this a 100 times...and with hotter SHB it should be cake walk"
"Its her loss if she doesnt like me"
(she's blushing and giglin and looking down submisively)
"she's all yours..man u got nutthin to loose"
"That 300 pound guy is probably her AFC chump who buys her stuff and ****..first close her and become
best budds with that dude you'll probably get in sum club free!."
--------->
"Hi!.......

See instead of thinking "I shouldnt screw up" start thinking " I'll get it right as I allways do". When ur'e thinking negatively ur creating the mental images of all
the ways u might screw up and all the ways ur gonna f**k up. But if you think positively u give ur brain all the "POSITIVE" images it can use...which ultimately will lead to
success. This kind of approach works with all areas of life. Lets say ur taking a "dreaded" test the next day instead of think "I shouldnt mess up..i shouldnt screw this one"
start thinking "I will ace this test..I'll just be fine!".

By instilling these attitudes you dont have have to become an arrogant braggart or lack in sense of humour or class. You can be warm and friendly at the same time be direct and powerfull.
If you start living be these attituted and change the way you start thinking you'll soon find out that your "WHOLE" life will change in time.
I found this "Chunk" of great Info. Its a bit deep, freakin loooooooooong and to do with psychology and **** and actually makes "sense". But stick with it and you can turn your life from NOW.! Get a "huge Cup of coffee...and get ready to READ

Brace yourselfs!
(Article referred to it posted on the next page, mind blown it is a 14 yr old forum post):


 

[b][size=6][color=blue]How To Change Your Shyness[/b][/size][/color]

Part 1:
Recently there have been a lot of posts along the lines of "How do I become more confident", "How do I get from A to B", "How do I reverse my conditioning" etc. There have also been some musings that we need a FAQ. As it turns out, I've spent the last few months researching the psychology of behaviour change and I've decided to sum up everything I've learned to share it with you. I've tried as much as I can to stay away from the same old cliched self-help "advice", and instead filled it with lots of practical, scientific stuff that you can take advantage of immediately. I've worked pretty hard on this and there should be something here for everybody, even the seasoned shys. If you guys like, this could even become the foundation for a shyness FAQ. So please, everybody take the time to read this, I know it's long, and try out the strategies I've discussed. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy!
Part 1: The problem
Was I Born With It? Nature vs. Nurture
While it is possible that shyness is (partly) caused by your genetic make up, it is my belief that learned behaviour (the Nurture part) is much more powerful. There are so many cases of happy, healthy, vibrant and outgoing children having their personalities ravaged by abusive parents or other traumatic situations. And, believe it or not, the opposite is also true. Quiet, timid, withdrawn people can become more sociable in the same way. Catatonics and autists can be brought back to life, people with "learning disabilities" can become fully literate. It just takes the right tools.

Is This My "True Self"?
The truth is, virtually any aspect of your personality can change. If it doesn't seem that way sometimes it's because the methods you've been using just aren't powerful enough. Think about your own experiences for a moment. Have you ever believed in something strongly only to have somebody prove you wrong? What happened to you then? You changed - instantly. A rape or a car accident can change your personality - and not a long, slow change, but immediately and powerfully.

Really, your mind is very flexible, and I will prove that in a bit. It's just that we also have the tendency to do things in patterns, so we don't take advantage of our capacity for change. I think the belief in your "True Self" or "Core Personality" is a dangerous one because it is so limiting. We look at the negative aspects of ourselves and say, "That's just the way I am. I'm being true to myself by behaving this way". We're denying ourselves whole realms of growth and improvement with this defeatist attitude. Our personalities are NOT like a balance; improving one thing won't sacrifice anything else. I'm positive that the strategies I'm going to talk about will work, but not if you're skeptical and do them half-heartedly.

How Your Mind Works
The first step to changing yourself is understanding why you're doing what you're doing now. I'm going to give you a model of your brain that I've constructed from all kinds of sources, and we will use it to make changes later.


Our minds are constantly taking in all kinds of information from our senses and storing it, even the unimportant stuff. When ideas are repeated often enough and with consistency, we form Beliefs, or Generalizations, and these beliefs affect the way we perceive our reality and the way we behave. The inputs that support the belief are called "reference experiences". For example, during the Cold War, Russians were always depicted as the "evil overlords" or whatever, so children growing up at that time no doubt believed that all Russians were that way, unless they were shown otherwise. If you grew up in a racist household, you always heard that blacks (or whites!) were inferior and all that, and you probably accepted it without question. What's more, once you have a belief, your brain will dismiss or disprove references that run contrary to it. The only way to change these beliefs once they're solidly entrenched is to either use powerful references that can't be ignored (such as a rape or car accident), or to use references consistently and with enough repetition, the same way the original belief was formed. That's why simply talking about things and getting advice tends to be so ineffective.

Out of all the input you get, your brain pays particular attention to experiences that cause an emotional response. What happens is, your brain constructs a physical association, or "link", between the stimuli and the response so that in the future, the same, or similar, set of stimuli will produce the same response. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the link. Also, future experiences reinforce the link or even strengthen it. This affect is called "conditioning" or "anchoring". The classic example of this is Pavlov's famous experiment. Pavlov noticed that his dog salivated whenever it was fed. He started ringing a bell whenever he fed the dog, and soon he noticed that ringing the bell without providing food caused the dog to salivate. The bell became an "anchor" to the anticipation of food. Anchors can be changed or removed, however, by changing the emotional response linked to the anchor.

Your brain will motivate you both to seek out experiences that give you pleasure, and avoid experiences that cause pain, though it will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. That's why bad habits are so hard to break. And sometimes, though a long-term goal will provide pleasure, if there is enough pain in the short-term, your brain will "sabotage" you.

Your brain is always motivating you to do what it believes best for you based on your current beliefs and anchors, even though it might contradict your conscious goals. This sabotage is called "secondary gain". For example, a happily married woman went to a hypnotist for help with being overweight. As it turns out, she was afraid of losing the weight because she would then be attractive to other men, and she was afraid that if she were propositioned she would have an affair, which would ruin her marriage. Once she became comfortable with her sexuality and confident enough to handle men, the weight went away almost without effort.

Facts and information are the realm of your conscious mind. Your subconscious works on imagery, symbols, and metaphor, and knows no objective reality.
Now, going by that model, it's easy to see what causes our shyness. We have dangerous generalizations about ourselves and about other people, like "I'm not attractive", "Women/Men don't like me", "I'm not interesting", "I never know what to say" etc., which taint our perceptions and our behaviour. These generalizations are subconscious and firmly entrenched. On top of that, we have such painful anchors to being evaluated, being embarrassed and being rejected that we avoid the short-term problem of meeting people and asking for dates, even though the long-term goal of intimate relationships is very enticing.

The problem is wired right into our nervous systems, which is the culmination of everything we've ever done. Our conscious motives are peanuts compared to that.

If I've painted a morbid picture here, I apologize. It's easier to change than it sounds, but simply working with your consciousness WON'T work. You've got to work with your subconscious, and your nervous system. You've got to change your generalizations and your anchors, and the rest will come naturally.

I've omitted one vital piece of information till now. Remember how your brain is always taking in information and processing it?
Still coming......[Post 2]
***YOUR OWN THOUGHTS ARE PART OF THIS INPUT***.

This might sound silly at first, but it's true. When you go over an experience in your mind, you get the same emotional response as when it actually happened. It's a reinforcement. Consciously you can tell the difference, but your subconscious just processes and stores it along with everything else. Even if you don't believe this, at least admit to yourself that it might be possible, because it's central to many of the strategies I'm going to talk about. Remember, what we're after is results, not understanding.

Your thoughts are powerful tools for change. It's just that you've been using them poorly until now.

Your Own Worst Enemy
Now think of the implications of this. Every time you've relived your failures and rejections, every time you've beat yourself up with your self-talk, every time you've felt sorry for yourself, you've been reinforcing the problem, and possibly made it worse.
Now, I'm not saying you should never feel bad. It's a natural thing and it's bound to happen no matter what you do. But being excessively negative is unhealthy for you. Starting now, don't allow yourself to dwell on painful events from your past. If you find yourself feeling down for more than five minutes, do something - anything - to snap yourself out of it and move on.
Also, if there are any situations or people that are consistently making you feel bad about yourself, either do something to improve them or remove yourself from them.
For example, half a year ago I was hanging around with a certain group of people. One or two of them were my friends, but several of the rest quite obviously didn't like me, had no objections to showing me so, and nothing I could have done would have changed that. For a while I felt sorry for myself; I kept thinking "no one cares about me, no one likes me", etc. Finally, I realized what I was doing. I said to myself, "**** 'em all, what do I need them for anyway" and went and found a very accepting, caring and supportive group to hang around with instead. That one decision made a great difference in my life.
But, I digress. By now you must be nearly mad with anticipation - "What do I DO? Tell me what to DO!!!"

Part 2:
Here are some helpful things that are fairly simple that you can incorporate into your everyday life immediately.

Empowering Questions
When you ask yourself a difficult question, your subconscious goes to work looking for an answer, and it will always come up with something - even if the question is a self-defeating one. For example, if you ask yourself, "Why aren't I dating?" you'll get something like, "I'm too shy." or "I'm a loser". If you ask yourself, "Why don't people like me?" you'll get "I must be too ugly or unattractive" or "I mustn't be interesting enough". Even worse, your subconscious may then go to work looking through your databank of references and finding ones that support this idea so that it becomes a belief!

Remember, everything that's ever happened to you is stored in your memory. You've got references to support virtually any belief, but once you've got a belief, your brain tends to filter out the references that run contrary to it. There are probably lots of times when you were outgoing, but since you believe in your shyness, you don't notice or remember them - but your brain is quick to point out the times you've failed in a social situation. So the trick, then, is to ask yourself empowering questions.

Yourself:

What about me is interesting? Attractive?
What do people like about me?
What qualities and accomplishments am I most proud of?
What should I change about myself? How would I go about changing that?
Conversation:

What do we have in common that I could bring up?
Is there anything interesting that happened to me lately that I could relate?
Is there something interesting happening in our environment that I could mention?
What aspects of his/her life could I ask questions about?
**** On By The Opposite Sex:

How was my approach poor? What could I do to improve it?
What about my approach was good? Can I emphasize that next time?
If I was him/her, what would I want me to do?
You get the idea.

Anchoring
Now that you know how anchors are formed, you can create your own! They can be really useful for changing your emotional state when you need it. I bet you feel really confident when you do something you're good at, like playing a sport, a musical instrument, or a game of chess. Wouldn't it be great if you could have that same feeling of confidence when you're at a social gathering or approaching someone for a date?

Here's how to create an anchor. Get yourself to feel the feeling you want to anchor, either by doing something physically or creating the experience in your head (trust me, it still works). At the same time, do something else, which will be your "trigger" for the feeling. The trigger can be a sight, a sound, a movement, or a touch. Once you've done it enough, it should become permanent. Keep in mind that if you'll be using anchors in social situations, you don't want your trigger to be anything embarrassing. It can be something simple like touching your finger to your forehead, tugging on your ear, scratching your nose, stroking your mustache or your chin, or a phrase... Now that you've created the anchor, whenever you want the emotional response just perform the trigger, and if you've done it right, your emotional state will change, as if by magic.

Pattern Interrupts
When we find a behaviour that works, we tend to get "locked" into it; we repeat it whenever that situation comes up. This is called a Strategy or Pattern. Avoiding people at social situations is a pattern, and so is not showing your feelings, and so is not asking for dates or doing it poorly, and so is feeling sorry for yourself afterwards. Remember, if your nervous system is geared toward shyness, your subconscious considers these things good, that's why I said these behaviours "work". But what you can do is, whenever you find yourself in an unproductive pattern, you do what's called a Pattern Interrupt. A Pattern Interrupt is anything sudden and unexpected that totally defies the pattern and therefore breaks its hold on you. It can be physical, like suddenly screaming at the top of your lungs or dancing wildly about the room. These are great if you're in the privacy of your own home or you don't mind making a fool of yourself. If you need something more subtle, you can do the interrupt in your head, such as experiencing a series of bizarre and totally inappropriate images or sounds.

Here's one way I used this successfully. I was trying to ask someone out and was doing a lot of "Ummm.... Uhhhh...." and just generally feeling idiotic and screwing it up. All of a sudden I just said "****!", with feeling (She was the type that doesn't mind swearing). Instantly my internal voice went from "Argh, what do I say, what do I do, what if she turns me down..." etc. to "Just quit your damn stalling and DO IT, dumb-ass!!" and I asked her out. I didn't get the date, BTW, but I think that was because we came from VERY different worlds, and she just didn't have a good impression of me. Actually, I was quite proud of myself for getting past the fear and taking the risk. Here's another example. Supposing you really got a rise out of "Dead Poet's Society". A combination anchor/interrupt would be to declare "CARPE DIEM!!!" or "SIEZE THE DAY!!!" with gusto.

Leverage
For any decision you make, your brain weighs the pleasures and pains of taking action and not taking action, but it will motivate you more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. If you're not getting the results you want, it's probably because you've linked too much pain to the action. There are two ways you can get around this - either find a way to lessen the pain associated with the action, or associate even more pain with not taking action. This changing of the rules is called Leverage.

For example, I would think all of us link pain to losing money. So what you do is, when you go into a social situation, bring a few buddies with you. Decide on a goal that you're capable of meeting ("I will meet X new people" or "I will ask for X dates" or "I won't leave without X phone numbers"), and make a bet with your friends that if you don't meet your goal, you owe them, say, $20 or $50. Make sure these are people who will hold you to your word. Now, normally, you probably link quite a bit of pain to meeting people, but I would think the pain of losing $50 would be even greater! If your goal was to meet five people, you'd probably introduce yourself to the first five people you ran into!

I think that really, we don't link much pain to our shyness at all. If we did, we wouldn't have this problem. There is the loneliness, but it's what we've been feeling all our lives. We're used to it, it's nothing new. And by avoiding people, we feel safe. Change is perceived as the threat; it is dangerous because it would place demands on us we might not be able to meet. Reversing this imbalance can go a long way toward getting what we want.
still coming......[post 3]

Physiology
It's common knowledge that the way you're feeling is reflected in your body. If you're depressed, you frown, your shoulders droop, your back is hunched, you tend to look down at the floor. If you're happy, you smile, you stand straight, you look up.

What you might not know is that this works in reverse. By changing your body, you can change the way you feel. If you don't believe this, try it out. Smile and laugh for no good reason. Dance around a bit. Feels good, doesn't it? Now frown and hunch over. Bury your head in your hands. Sucks, eh?

A good example of this is when a friend confided in me that I had a "geeky walk". It was true; I used to drag my feet and I would look down as I passed people. So what I did was figure out how to "walk confident" (And this took some practice...) and I made the effort to keep my gaze steady and make a little eye contact with people. Sure enough, not only did the physical change make me feel more confident, but the way people responded to me as well. I began to get smiles and glances from some of the women (or maybe I always had and just never noticed before), and that is a GREAT feeling!

Also, in case you're not doing this already, regular exercise does wonders for your self-confidence.
Part 3: The Heavy Artillery
Okay, now the really good stuff. Here we're going to work on changing your beliefs, and your pain anchors, which should get rid of your shyness for good. But first, we need to know exactly what they are.

First, brainstorm your beliefs. Examine the thoughts that run through your head when you're in your shy-pattern. Also look at the way you talk about yourself to others and your self-talk. It's important that you be completely honest with yourself and be as thorough as possible. Examples:

I am a nerd/geek/loser/inept
I'm too shy
I'm not compatible with him/her
I'm not normal
I don't know what to say/do
I'm afraid of rejection/screwing up/being hurt/being embarrassed/what others think
Men/Women don't like me
People don't like me
Now, your anchors. Make two lists, pleasurable experiences that you move toward, and painful experiences that you avoid. Rank them in descending order starting with the experiences you take the most action to gain/avoid. Again, it's important that you're very honest with yourself. Don't list them in the order you'd like them to be in ideally, but examine your actual behaviour.

Sample pleasures Sample pains

Love Success Rejection Anger
Freedom Intimacy Frustration Loneliness
Security Adventure Depression Failure
Power Passion Humiliation Guilt
Comfort Health

When you're done, you should notice some definite conflicts that would cause your shyness. In my case, on my pleasures side Love and Intimacy were high up, but Safety, Security and Comfort were at the top. On my pains side, Evaluation, Rejection and Humiliation were at the top, while Loneliness and Depression were toward the bottom (remember, we're looking at the amount of action we take to _avoid_ these feelings).