-
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617568861]Sucks, it indicates this girl smokes cigarettes "sometimes" on her profile, didn't notice before. Definitely a long term dealbreaker for me.[/QUOTE]
If she has good teeth in her pic it probably isn't a big deal.
I hate women who smoke ciggs and I don't smoke ciggs either but occasionally when I drink I'll smoke a black and mild and have met a lot of people in general who do so as well, so could be that.
That is still probably a deal breaker for you, but that's easier to give up and not as bad as someone who actually smokes in my book.
-
[QUOTE=newbuck;1617585721]If she has good teeth in her pic it probably isn't a big deal.
I hate women who smoke ciggs and I don't smoke ciggs either but occasionally when I drink I'll smoke a black and mild and have met a lot of people in general who do so as well, so could be that.
That is still probably a deal breaker for you, but that's easier to give up and not as bad as someone who actually smokes in my book.[/QUOTE]
I cancelled it. I just can't deal with it on any level; and call me judgemental but smokers always have a really hard time quitting in my experience.
I don't even know her yet and don't want to get attached.
I've relaxed my preferences a lot over the past couple of years, but smoking is a no-go for me personally.
The only thing is, it might mean weed. But there's a smoking symbol on Hinge, and a weed symbol. And it says "sometimes" under both.
-
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617586911]I cancelled it. I just can't deal with it on any level; and call me judgemental but smokers always have a really hard time quitting in my experience.
I don't even know her yet and don't want to get attached.
I've relaxed my preferences a lot over the past couple of years, but smoking is a no-go for me personally.
The only thing is, it might mean weed. But there's a smoking symbol on Hinge, and a weed symbol. And it says "sometimes" under both.[/QUOTE]
Good for you.
Did you tell her why?
-
[QUOTE=skinnyfat88;1617589671]Good for you.
Did you tell her why?[/QUOTE]
I didn't see the point. It was my fault though for not scrolling across on preferences so I feel bad. I will check next time sooner.
I thought I had "smoking" set as a dealbreaker, but I looked in preferences and it is now a Premium feature (along with height... lol).
I'm obviously really glad height is a premium feature, even though women were raging about it online.
-
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617590931]I didn't see the point. It was my fault though for not scrolling across on preferences so I feel bad. I will check next time sooner.
I thought I had "smoking" set as a dealbreaker, but I looked in preferences and it is now a Premium feature (along with height... lol).
I'm obviously really glad height is a premium feature, even though women were raging about it online.[/QUOTE]
dang man you telling me most girls don't see that I'm 6'5?
-
[QUOTE=ScottTil;1617592691]dang man you telling me most girls don't see that I'm 6'5?[/QUOTE]
They can, they just can't filter based on height without premium. Most probably just immediately scroll to height instead.
-
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617590931]I didn't see the point. It was my fault though for not scrolling across on preferences so I feel bad. I will check next time sooner.
I thought I had "smoking" set as a dealbreaker, but I looked in preferences and it is now a Premium feature (along with height... lol).
I'm obviously really glad height is a premium feature, even though women were raging about it online.[/QUOTE]
How are you able to squeeze in dating with working and lifting?
For me I do a lot of other things on weekends like surfing, stand-up paddleboarding, kayaking that take up a lot of time and exhaust me, so the thought of getting ready for a date on top of that is tiring. Then during the week I'm playing sports and going to the gym after work. Maybe I'm just doing too much for a relationship.
-
[QUOTE=newbuck;1617585721]If she has good teeth in her pic it probably isn't a big deal.
I hate women who smoke ciggs and I don't smoke ciggs either but occasionally when I drink I'll smoke a black and mild and have met a lot of people in general who do so as well, so could be that.
That is still probably a deal breaker for you, but that's easier to give up and not as bad as someone who actually smokes in my book.[/QUOTE]
I'll smoke cigars when:
golfing
drinking whiskey
hot tub
or now when i'm on the deck relaxing with some beers or by the fire.
when alone or bros that smoke a cigar also.
maybe once or twice a week sometimes.
then i won't smoke one for weeks to months.
people who regularly smoke...blech.
their cars reek with ash everywhere.
they and their homes smell like smoke.
plus kissing a woman with smoke breath and spearmint from chewing gum to hide it. yuck.
not to mention the "i'll be right back" because they need a cig so bad they stand in a blizzard for a few puffs.
really?
-
Smoking is a disgusting habit. I used to be somewhat ok with smokers but the longer it's been since I've dated one, the more it's a deal breaker for me. Luci, good for you for not wasting your time with a smoker.
I miss my FWB. :( :( It's been a month. I cried last night and today. Is this ever going to get easier? I miss him sending me kisses and hearts. I know that's so lame but I really miss it. :/
-
only women that are whores smoke ciggies
-
[QUOTE=Legz422;1617610911]Smoking is a disgusting habit. I used to be somewhat ok with smokers but the longer it's been since I've dated one, the more it's a deal breaker for me. Luci, good for you for not wasting your time with a smoker.
I miss my FWB. :( :( It's been a month. I cried last night and today. Is this ever going to get easier? I miss him sending me kisses and hearts. I know that's so lame but I really miss it. :/[/QUOTE]
It’ll be okay mama legz. Just give it time. It’s not lame to miss something like that but you’ll get it again from someone just as good
-
[QUOTE=Legz422;1617610911]Smoking is a disgusting habit. I used to be somewhat ok with smokers but the longer it's been since I've dated one, the more it's a deal breaker for me. Luci, good for you for not wasting your time with a smoker.
I miss my FWB. :( :( It's been a month. I cried last night and today. Is this ever going to get easier? I miss him sending me kisses and hearts. I know that's so lame but I really miss it. :/[/QUOTE]
I don't understand why it had to end if you haven't met other people? Why not keep it going until that happens?
-
[QUOTE=Midi77;1617559361]The point is, the Toronto scene is endless, if guys live near there, or within a couple of hours, it's worth it.[/QUOTE]
So patagucci was right all along!
-
[QUOTE=brightbrah;1617624001]I've personally not been a fan of weedcels, but I fall into the group of people who have a cigar/cig once in a blue moon when drinking. funny how we all have different views on that sort of thing.
they can rage in the form of typing their credit card number into the app.[/QUOTE]
I mean I probably should have directly asked her. It said “sometimes”, not “yes”.
Even sometimes is just risky to me, does she sneak out during a workday for a quick smoke? Or is it just weed or a cigar once a month? I think cigarettes at all is dodgy though.
-
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617627091]I mean I probably should have directly asked her. It said “sometimes”, not “yes”.
Even sometimes is just risky to me, does she sneak out during a workday for a quick smoke? Or is it just weed or a cigar once a month? I think cigarettes at all is dodgy though.[/QUOTE]
I only smoke if I go to a pub or club and that’s not all that often so on my profile it says “no” to smoking. I don’t smoke enough for me to even write “sometimes” in the profile because that could be misinterpreted.
I probably would’ve went on the date anyway and went from there. It was only a few hours you had to spend with her and you would’ve found out from there if she’s a casual smoker or not. When she had “sometimes” it genuinely might’ve been the same as me which is like once every couple of months. You still speaking to her or is the opportunity gone?
-
[QUOTE=DustinTheHuss;1617623081]I don't understand why it had to end if you haven't met other people? Why not keep it going until that happens?[/QUOTE]
Because at some point I need to get over him. I ended it, I need to stick by that for the first time. The longest I've gone without speaking to him is 3 months. I had tried to end it a couple years ago and ended up getting back in touch with him after 3 months. I can keep this going, I'm just so sad. Some days are ok but then a day hits where it's just so much sadness. At some point that's got to stop, right?
-
[QUOTE=Austin317;1617629821]I only smoke if I go to a pub or club and that’s not all that often so on my profile it says “no” to smoking. I don’t smoke enough for me to even write “sometimes” in the profile because that could be misinterpreted.
I probably would’ve went on the date anyway and went from there. It was only a few hours you had to spend with her and you would’ve found out from there if she’s a casual smoker or not. When she had “sometimes” it genuinely might’ve been the same as me which is like once every couple of months. You still speaking to her or is the opportunity gone?[/QUOTE]
Cigarette smoking has always been a huge turnoff for me. Even if it’s at your level. The stench of smoke, on breath, clothes, etc. Then there’s the risk of it becoming more regular.
I have a feeling that “sometimes” means sometimes. Either at a bar like you said, social event , during a stressful work day.
The opportunity may still be there.
-
[QUOTE=Legz422;1617641881]Because at some point I need to get over him. I ended it, I need to stick by that for the first time. The longest I've gone without speaking to him is 3 months. I had tried to end it a couple years ago and ended up getting back in touch with him after 3 months. I can keep this going, I'm just so sad. Some days are ok but then a day hits where it's just so much sadness. At some point that's got to stop, right?[/QUOTE]
I’m sorry, I know how rough a breakup is. Everyone kept telling me time will heal, and I latched on to that. I’ve written at length about my experience here, but it’s a series of ups and downs but an overall shift towards feeling better over time.
First 6 months for me was brutal, after 2 years I felt like I could look at her pics without recoiling. I’m still not at the point where I could talk to her.
It might not take as long for you, since it wasn’t like you hadn’t built up dreams of a future or loved him? Or did you put yourself into a state of denial...
You’re doing the right thing by ripping off the bandaid and pushing yourself for an opportunity to find a more solid long term partner, and killing that underlying angst that must exist knowing he might disappear off the map with another woman.
This is another reason I just don’t think FWBs are a good idea, for one or both parties.
-
[QUOTE=skinnyfat88;1617559861]Glad to hear you won't settle.
Have you tried a legit matchmaker?
What's your cultural background and do you date within it usually or no?[/QUOTE]
Never tried a legit matchmaker.
I wouldn’t say it’s culture, but more religious. Which I don’t usually date within. A man doesn’t need to have the same beliefs as me. He just needs to respect mine like I would his.
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617537681]I typed a longer response but got a site error.
Basically I said that you can seek the life you want, without stressing over reaching some specific age marker just to fulfill an arbitrary idealized goal.
I understand it's difficult to drop, but you really do have plenty of time.
And yes, stick with men 28+ generally.[/QUOTE]
I’ll try my best to drop the time goal. I know it’s a huge issue for me. Me + time have a loooong history lol One of the reasons why I’m never late for anything.
I plan to stick with men 28+ Since most are ready to settle down.
Sushi guy states I’m making a mistake leaving
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also had a married man flirt/hit on me. Might send screenshots to his wife ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617645701]I’m sorry, I know how rough a breakup is. Everyone kept telling me time will heal, and I latched on to that. I’ve written at length about my experience here, but it’s a series of ups and downs but an overall shift towards feeling better over time.
First 6 months for me was brutal, after 2 years I felt like I could look at her pics without recoiling. I’m still not at the point where I could talk to her.
It might not take as long for you, since it wasn’t like you hadn’t built up dreams of a future or loved him? Or did you put yourself into a state of denial...
You’re doing the right thing by ripping off the bandaid and pushing yourself for an opportunity to find a more solid long term partner, and killing that underlying angst that must exist knowing he might disappear off the map with another woman.
This is another reason I just don’t think FWBs are a good idea, for one or both parties.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I'm not really sure how long it will take. That 3 months before I was sad the whole time. So unless I meet someone and start dating I can't see this being any better. I do agree about ripping off the bandaid. I already ended it, I need to stick with it. It's not the sticking with it I have a problem with, I just want to be over it. Sometimes I wish I could just wipe all memories out of my mind.
No, I wasn't in a state of denial about a future. I was ok with what it was and didn't ever really let myself think of anything else. I think the hardest part was that he was my friend. He was always there if I needed him. Somehow, he always made me feel better after just talking to him.
Totally agree about the FWB not being a good idea. Live and learn. For me, the only way I'd want to continue having sex with someone is if I like them and the chemistry is great. I'm not the kind of person that can have continuous sex with someone and not catch feels. So better to stay away from that territory.
[QUOTE=FemaleWarriorxo;1617648611]Never tried a legit matchmaker.
I wouldn’t say it’s culture, but more religious. Which I don’t usually date within. A man doesn’t need to have the same beliefs as me. He just needs to respect mine like I would his.
I’ll try my best to drop the time goal. I know it’s a huge issue for me. Me + time have a loooong history lol One of the reasons why I’m never late for anything.
I plan to stick with men 28+ Since most are ready to settle down.
Sushi guy states I’m making a mistake leaving
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also had a married man flirt/hit on me. Might send screenshots to his wife ¯\_(ツ)_/¯[/QUOTE]
I wish I could find a legit matchmaker service in my area. I can't afford a ton of money for one, but I think a decent price point would at least find you people who are seriously looking for relationships and not just sex.
lol at what Sushi guy said. Just lol.
I had to go to the grocery store this morning. I went later last Saturday because I was out most of day with a friend. So haven't seen him since our last texting convo about her moving back in. Kinda want to get that over with so don't feel awkward. He prob thinks I'm avoiding him.
-
[QUOTE=FemaleWarriorxo;1617648611]I plan to stick with men 28+ [b]Since most are ready to settle down.[/b] [/QUOTE]
[img]https://media.tenor.com/images/b75d4f6bb0f5f7559fa08ff26bf733c0/tenor.gif[/img]
Me when I think of that
-
[QUOTE=Legz422;1617650341]
I think the hardest part was that he was my friend. He was always there if I needed him. Somehow, he always made me feel better after just talking to him.
[/QUOTE]
That's the hard part for me, even now after the recent breakup. It isn't the sex, although sure I miss it to some extent - but that's more of a superficial thing.
It's having that other person there, and you're the closest person to each other. The intimacy of sharing thoughts, moments etc. It just leaves a big void. It's important to lean on family and friends if possible, but that still doesn't really replace it.
I have good friends, but they still lead their own life and have their close relationship reserved with their wives/children. Which is fine, that's typical.
I'd love to have a really close BFF tbh. That isn't my romantic partner. Because that can get ripped away easier.
-
[QUOTE=Legz422;1617650341]Yeah, I'm not really sure how long it will take. That 3 months before I was sad the whole time. So unless I meet someone and start dating I can't see this being any better. I do agree about ripping off the bandaid. I already ended it, I need to stick with it. It's not the sticking with it I have a problem with, I just want to be over it. Sometimes I wish I could just wipe all memories out of my mind.
No, I wasn't in a state of denial about a future. I was ok with what it was and didn't ever really let myself think of anything else. I think the hardest part was that he was my friend. He was always there if I needed him. Somehow, he always made me feel better after just talking to him.
Totally agree about the FWB not being a good idea. Live and learn. For me, the only way I'd want to continue having sex with someone is if I like them and the chemistry is great. I'm not the kind of person that can have continuous sex with someone and not catch feels. So better to stay away from that territory.
I wish I could find a legit matchmaker service in my area. I can't afford a ton of money for one, but I think a decent price point would at least find you people who are seriously looking for relationships and not just sex.
lol at what Sushi guy said. Just lol.
I had to go to the grocery store this morning. I went later last Saturday because I was out most of day with a friend. So haven't seen him since our last texting convo about her moving back in. Kinda want to get that over with so don't feel awkward. He prob thinks I'm avoiding him.[/QUOTE]
I can afford one, but don’t want to lol maybe if it gets passed 5 years then maybe.
Yeee. My exact thoughts. He gets easily offended which wouldn’t work in the long run. I believe in not sugar coating things even to my partner lol
I wouldn’t worry about what the grocery guy is thinking. Just keep it chill if you do run into him lol it only becomes awkward if you make it.
[QUOTE=brightbrah;1617652831][img]https://media.tenor.com/images/b75d4f6bb0f5f7559fa08ff26bf733c0/tenor.gif[/img]
Me when I think of that[/QUOTE]
Lmaooo I’m only speaking about the men I run into. Obviously there’s 30+ men that aren’t ready.
-
I'm matching with hot girls, i'm just not getting responses which is confusing because it could come down to a variety of things. Ex: She thinks i'm attractive but my opener was weak, she thinks i'm attractive but she doesn't take the app seriously, she thinks i'm attractive but not attractive enough to respond to me, etc... Are any of you guys consistently setting up dates with very attractive girls? I feel like those types of girls just don't take apps very seriously, but maybe my profile is just bad.
-
[QUOTE=Luc1fer;1617627091]I mean I probably should have directly asked her. It said “sometimes”, not “yes”. [/QUOTE]
Pretty obvious from what you've said about smoking that just nexting her was the best move. There's almost no way her level of usage was going to be something you'd be OK with, let alone the weed.
[QUOTE=FemaleWarriorxo;1617648611]
Sushi guy states I’m making a mistake leaving
¯\_(ツ)_/¯[/QUOTE]
LOL this dude just can't stop telling you that you're doing it wrong.
-
[QUOTE=Mr Beer;1617672951]LOL this dude just can't stop telling you that you're doing it wrong.[/QUOTE]
Yee. I don’t have to put up with it anymore lol
-
Interested in knowing how you brahs transition from one location to another with a girl who you've met up with for the first time?
Single for the first time in over 6 years and had my first date Friday. Ended up kissing the girl but she had way too many red flags to pursue anything more with/smash.
-
[QUOTE=realbored94;1617667681]I'm matching with hot girls, i'm just not getting responses which is confusing because it could come down to a variety of things. Ex: She thinks i'm attractive but my opener was weak, she thinks i'm attractive but she doesn't take the app seriously, she thinks i'm attractive but not attractive enough to respond to me, etc... Are any of you guys consistently setting up dates with very attractive girls? I feel like those types of girls just don't take apps very seriously, but maybe my profile is just bad.[/QUOTE]
Those women are simply not interested in you....period.
On apps like Tinder and ******** Dating, I've gotten more quantity of matches but alot of the women were more low quality and so I had to filter through them to get to the ones I like. On Hinge and Bumble, I've gotten more quality of matches but not as much as the aforementioned apps and thus I have to swipe more often to get more of those quality matches. Of course this depends on my area as otaku has done an Tinder experiment with my pictures in his area and he says I did decently over there too.
I wouldn't really place blame on yourself for thinking you did anything wrong to prevent them from replying to you as that's going to get you into your head too much. I've sent messages to women that never replied back or would reply back maybe days or weeks later.
I don't be posting corny PUA openers, I just post something straight to the point about what I want to mostly neutralize any attention whores from seeking my attention. Like I've said multiple times, by my own anecdotal experience, I tend to get a 60-80% response rate depending on the app.
You might have to screenshot your profile so we can see and critique.
-
[QUOTE=realbored94;1617667681]I'm matching with hot girls, i'm just not getting responses which is confusing because it could come down to a variety of things. Ex: She thinks i'm attractive but my opener was weak, she thinks i'm attractive but she doesn't take the app seriously, she thinks i'm attractive but not attractive enough to respond to me, etc... Are any of you guys consistently setting up dates with very attractive girls? I feel like those types of girls just don't take apps very seriously, but maybe my profile is just bad.[/QUOTE]
When you feel like you have to be someone other than yourself to get a woman is when you need to exit out of convo and forget about it. Dating has gotten so bad that you have to try your hardest to be someone you're not just to get a response.
-
[QUOTE=Legz422;1617641881]Because at some point I need to get over him. I ended it, I need to stick by that for the first time. The longest I've gone without speaking to him is 3 months. I had tried to end it a couple years ago and ended up getting back in touch with him after 3 months. I can keep this going, I'm just so sad. Some days are ok but then a day hits where it's just so much sadness. At some point that's got to stop, right?[/QUOTE]
I think the some days OK some days sadness is perfectly normal given how long you've known him. It sounds like it was more than FWB, more like a long distance relationship?
This way may is better than if he met someone new and ended it with you, I don't know. It just sounds like it's really hard and tough unless one of you meets someone else.
As for the professional matchingmakinx service, there is eHarmony and match. They cost money, but you get what you pay for. The free apps have a lot of guys who want hookups.
