Women, enlighten me please... (srs question) (not about dick size)

This is kind of continued from the cheating thread debate, but I'm curious...

You say you want honesty and loyalty from a man...

but how the hell can a guy be honest with you without getting reprimanded for it?

Here's a hypothetical to illustrate my point:
You meet a guy, things go great, really hit it off. He tells you "You're amazing, I love spending time with you, and I really see potential...
... but at this stage of my life I'm getting a lot of female attention, and I may bang another girl from time to time. I hope you're ok with it, because I genuinely like you and want something serious with you"


wat do women, wat do?

You'd be like "FUK YOU", launch into some tirade about how all men are cheating ass holes and only want one thing, and then you'd go bitch about it on ******** or to your friends or whatever.


So you've created this interesting paradox where you place such a high importance on honesty, yet sheer honesty will disqualify any potential suitors.

You want us to ignore our primal instinct to fornicate, lock it in a box, and throw away the key forever.
And so help us if you ever catch us LOOKING at a woman... oh laawwwdddy :mad:


and for what? So you can satisfy your primal wiring to pop out a kid, gain weight, and nag the living fuk out of us for the rest of our lives?

Come on.


Seriously, I'd like a legitimate answer to this.

What are men supposed to do when you say you want honesty, but honesty disqualifies us?

Without quoting the whole reply to make it less clunky. If the tables were turned, would you want an honest girl about the same stuff too?

I mean, I love when my GF is honest, but with the whole "cheating" thing, it would hurt more to know. I'm not saying cheat and just let it go under the table. But if you cheat, and break up, at least it may leave the other person knowing they didn't get screwed on behind their back.

It's not good to cheat, but knowing you got cheated on can create a lot of trust issues.

Since in your post, I'd assume the relationship is entirely open, both of you can do whatever. Doesn't mean you really want to know what the other person is doing.

For example, if you started seeing a girl, but you're not "in a relationship" then you can still see other women, no? She probably knows this, and can do the same. However, neither of you will voice it to each other because it would just have that feeling that you may like someone, and get to know them, but know they are doing stuff behind your back.

Sorry if the last paragraph sounds confusing.

Doesn't this fall into the same category as walking up to everyone woman you find attractive and straight up telling her that you want to bone?

[QUOTE=Bracket199;723248451]Without quoting the whole reply to make it less clunky. If the tables were turned, would you want an honest girl about the same stuff too?

I mean, I love when my GF is honest, but with the whole "cheating" thing, it would hurt more to know. I'm not saying cheat and just let it go under the table. But if you cheat, and break up, at least it may leave the other person knowing they didn't get screwed on behind their back.

It's not good to cheat, but knowing you got cheated on can create a lot of trust issues.

Since in your post, I'd assume the relationship is entirely open, both of you can do whatever. Doesn't mean you really want to know what the other person is doing.

For example, if you started seeing a girl, but you're not "in a relationship" then you can still see other women, no? She probably knows this, and can do the same. However, neither of you will voice it to each other because it would just have that feeling that you may like someone, and get to know them, but know they are doing stuff behind your back.

Sorry if the last paragraph sounds confusing.[/QUOTE]

TBH with you, I would greatly appreciate the heads up. I would appreciate finding a woman HONEST enough to straight up tell me there are other guys in the picture.
lettuce be real beef for a bucket;
when you're "dating" most people aren't just talking to ONE person. You play the numbers. I'm not naive enough to think girls I'm "seeing" are ONLY talking to me.
But would they ever admit that? No. lol Girls can't even admit they've had intercourse with more than 7 people.

So the honesty would be a refresher, and having all the cards on the table I could make an informed decision to proceed with an open relationship, get my dick wet wherever I choose, not pry into her business about where shes gettin her **** cave filled, and just enjoy what WE have when we're together.

Yea, I'd be fine with that.


[QUOTE=Angra_Mainyu;723252121]Doesn't this fall into the same category as walking up to everyone woman you find attractive and straight up telling her that you want to bone?[/QUOTE]

No.

I guess different strokes for different folks janky.

I wouldn't care if the girl was seeing dudes on the side. The girl I was seeing before was like that. I knew it, but I didn't want to know who it was specifically or what she was doing. Just like me, I was expecting her to make a decision within time and go with that.

Doesn't bother me if they are seeing others. Just like you, I believe it too. I just don't want to know the guy exactly. I'd just look at it like I'm specifically competing with him for a girl.

I'd rather do my thing, let her do hers, and let her keep her life private until we become serious/official.

To put it very simple your screwed either way.

Because women dont really know what they want. They just all say the same things. Like they want a nice guy then always date the ahole. Then complain on FB why they can't ever find a good guy.

[QUOTE=Bracket199;723259271]I guess different strokes for different folks janky.

I wouldn't care if the girl was seeing dudes on the side. The girl I was seeing before was like that. I knew it, but I didn't want to know who it was specifically or what she was doing. Just like me, I was expecting her to make a decision within time and go with that.

Doesn't bother me if they are seeing others. Just like you, I believe it too. I just don't want to know the guy exactly. I'd just look at it like I'm specifically competing with him for a girl.

I'd rather do my thing, let her do hers, and let her keep her life private until we become serious/official.[/QUOTE]

well yeah, thats exactly what I was getting at.
The fact that she could tell you up front "nothings exclusive" would be refreshing. Often times, though, we don't even get that - it has to be assumed.


[QUOTE=Tipys;723261471]To put it very simple your screwed either way.

Because women dont really know what they want. They just all say the same things. Like they want a nice guy then always date the ahole. Then complain on FB why they can't ever find a good guy.[/QUOTE]

Well yeah. We are screwed either way.

If we meet the most amazing girl ever, we can settle down with her and enjoy a substantial loving relationship with someone great (ideally)
But at what cost?
The cost of our sexuality being stifled away forever.

Or
We can indulge tons of dirty sex, fulfilling our baser needs, but never keep any of the good women we'd like to develop something serious with.

Wat do women?

Please expain.

My mind is ready.

[QUOTE=janky;723247231]This is kind of continued from the cheating thread debate, but I'm curious...

You say you want honesty and loyalty from a man...[/quote]

Yes and in return you will get the same

[quote]but how the hell can a guy be honest with you without getting reprimanded for it?[/quote]

It depends on what you are being honest about - lets take your example below

[quote]Here's a hypothetical to illustrate my point:
You meet a guy, things go great, really hit it off. He tells you "You're amazing, I love spending time with you, and I really see potential...
... but at this stage of my life I'm getting a lot of female attention, and I may bang another girl from time to time. I hope you're ok with it, because I genuinely like you and want something serious with you"[/quote]

Now all you must do is agree on what "serious" means. Are you really having heart burn over the fact that a woman that wants to be "serious" with you see's exclusivity????? Really?

Well hell I hate paying taxes so I think I will pout about the fact that if I don't the IRS will have me by the short hairs.....


[quote]wat do women, wat do?

You'd be like "FUK YOU", launch into some tirade about how all men are cheating ass holes and only want one thing, and then you'd go bitch about it on ******** or to your friends or whatever.[/quote]

You mean they will opt to pass....and????? Find another that is akin to your way of thinking


[quote]So you've created this interesting paradox where you place such a high importance on honesty, yet sheer honesty will disqualify any potential suitors.[/quote]

No you can still be a potential suitor but if you want THAT woman who believes THAT way then either conform or keep looking...your choice

[quote]You want us to ignore our primal instinct to fornicate, lock it in a box, and throw away the key forever.
And so help us if you ever catch us LOOKING at a woman... oh laawwwdddy :mad:[/quote]

No, speaking for myself, I want a man that is of sufficient intellect that his mind tells him he has what he wants and can stop being swayed by his penis. If this man cannot overcome primal desires with his intellect...NEXT for me.


[quote]and for what? So you can satisfy your primal wiring to pop out a kid, gain weight, and nag the living fuk out of us for the rest of our lives?

Come on.[/quote]

No so we can share and grow together and build something that makes us feel close and accomplished and know we can look to each other at any time and we will be there...another way to look at it.


[quote]Seriously, I'd like a legitimate answer to this.
What are men supposed to do when you say you want honesty, but honesty disqualifies us?[/QUOTE]

Honesty is not disqualifying you, unlike desires are...you want more than one, she wants just one....you need to NEXT until you find the one that finds this acceptable or change your desires.

Since when do women [B]actually[/B] want you to tell the truth? I believe they just say that ****.

I respect you as a poster, and you have great insight to this debate, but I'll preface by saying we probably won't ever see eye to eye on this one :)

[QUOTE=mydawgs;723264721]

Now all you must do is agree on what "serious" means. Are you really having heart burn over the fact that a woman that wants to be "serious" with you see's exclusivity????? Really?

Well hell I hate paying taxes so I think I will pout about the fact that if I don't the IRS will have me by the short hairs.....
[/quote]

Not the same. You're not allowed to make that choice, you have a choice in dating.
There is no problem with people seeing exclusivity.
The problem lies down the road when sexuality is replaced by monogamous routine and women demanding constant affection while rarely ever catering to our sexual necessity, then being enraged at the concept of another woman fulfilling what she is unwilling to do.
The ultimatum becomes "Go without or else".

You say be honest, but if you tell a girl you're enjoying ****in around, she'll bounce. So yes, being honest disqualifies you. Plain and simple. Whereas if you just nodded and went "mm hmm" then you'd still be in the running...

Do you at least recognize how this paradox edges men towards deceitful behavior?


[quote]
You mean they will opt to pass....and????? Find another that is akin to your way of thinking
[/quote]

LOL. There is no one akin to my way of thinking, dear. I guarantee it.
I'm ok with that though. :)

For the sake of this argument; there is no woman akin to the mentality of "have an awesome gf but occasionally **** hot randoms as well". You're asking men to find a unicorn somehow.

[quote]
No you can still be a potential suitor but if you want THAT woman who believes THAT way then either conform or keep looking...your choice
[/quote]

"Conform or keep looking". Great options. Do what the woman wants me to or bounce. Where is my benefit in this again?

[quote]
No, speaking for myself, I want a man that is of sufficient intellect that his mind tells him he has what he wants and can stop being swayed by his penis. If this man cannot overcome primal desires with his intellect...NEXT for me.
[/quote]

You serious? Not being rude, but you're saying a man's penis may as well be lopped off and tossed in the trash, because he needs to intellectually cater to you or get nexted?

Wow.
:eek:


That is exactly what I have a problem with. Women expecting our urge to fuk to just randomly "go away" or be put on mute after some time.
It doesn't. It's an inherent part of us, just like blood, or breathing.

[quote]
No so we can share and grow together and build something that makes us feel close and accomplished and know we can look to each other at any time and we will be there...another way to look at it.
[/quote]

And thats great! That is sweet, and that's ultimately what I personally aspire for as well! I'm totally on board with that.

Now what about sex?
:)

What happens to dirty freaky sex? Is it just expected to be abandoned in favor of this goal?
Why shouldn't men be allowed both?

[quote]
Honesty is not disqualifying you, unlike desires are...you want more than one, she wants just one....you need to NEXT until you find the one that finds this acceptable or change your desires.[/QUOTE]

There isn't one who finds that acceptable, that's the problem and my entire point/question.

[QUOTE=janky;723271141]I respect you as a poster, and you have great insight to this debate, but I'll preface by saying we probably won't ever see eye to eye on this one :)[/quote]

Very likely


[quote]Not the same. You're not allowed to make that choice, you have a choice in dating.
There is no problem with people seeing exclusivity.
The problem lies down the road when sexuality is replaced by monogamous routine and women demanding constant affection while rarely ever catering to our sexual necessity, then being enraged at the concept of another woman fulfilling what she is unwilling to do.
The ultimatum becomes "Go without or else".[/quote]

There is always a choice, and if the woman is not living up to her end of the bargain, you chose wrong, pick yourself up and start again, how is this any different than anything else in life?

[quote]You say be honest, but if you tell a girl you're enjoying ****in around, she'll bounce. So yes, being honest disqualifies you. Plain and simple. Whereas if you just nodded and went "mm hmm" then you'd still be in the running...

Do you at least recognize how this paradox edges men towards deceitful behavior?[/quote]

I see where you are trying to go, my issue is you are actually offended by reality...What I can't have you all to myself and screw around too????? What? Thats like saying, what if I hit my hand with this hammer I probably will break it, what?????


[quote]LOL. There is no one akin to my way of thinking, dear. I guarantee it.
I'm ok with that though. :)

For the sake of this argument; there is no woman akin to the mentality of "have an awesome gf but occasionally **** hot randoms as well". You're asking men to find a unicorn somehow.[/quote]

Actually there are quite a few, I went to grad school with a woman that became the CEO of her own company, she has only EVER been with men of your thinking as that is what she enjoys as well. I find a lot of up and coming executive women enjoy arrangements like this as they do not want families and are married to their careers.

[quote]"Conform or keep looking". Great options. Do what the woman wants me to or bounce. Where is my benefit in this again?[/quote]

There is no benefit, it is a reality, kind of like I got 10 grand, so my hunt for a new Mercedes is over...onto a used car....that is LIFE

[quote]You serious? Not being rude, but you're saying a man's penis may as well be lopped off and tossed in the trash, because he needs to intellectually cater to you or get nexted?

Wow.
:eek:[/quote]

Oh hell no, I expect great mileage from that particular appendage, but he better know his mind very well when it comes to him wanting to share it with me exclusively...he must know his own mind and be secure in that knowledge....or yes...NEXT


[quote]That is exactly what I have a problem with. Women expecting our urge to fuk to just randomly "go away" or be put on mute after some time.
It doesn't. It's an inherent part of us, just like blood, or breathing.[/quote]

Oh I am a huge fan of that urge, and I promised my husband I would NEVER discourage that urge.....and I haven't, works well for us

[quote]And thats great! That is sweet, and that's ultimately what I personally aspire for as well! I'm totally on board with that.

[b]Now what about sex?[/b]
:)[/quote]

Part of the package my friend, all inclusive ;)

[quote]What happens to dirty freaky sex? Is it just expected to be abandoned in favor of this goal?
[b]Why shouldn't men be allowed both?[/b][/quote]

They are.....if your single, many sources, if your exclusive one source.....



[quote]There isn't one who finds that acceptable, that's the problem and my entire point/question.[/QUOTE]

Anything is acceptable if all agree, no need to be deceitful

The biggest 3 points I caught from your rebuttal are;
1) That's just how it is. Deal with it.

2) There are, somewhere, women ok with "dont ask dont tell" relationships

3) Sex still retains, just with one person, on that one person's terms.


The problems I see are;
1) It's not the same as your taxes, mercedes, or any other analogy. These are matters of the heart. Saying "just deal with it" is akin to me saying "You just deal with me fuking whoever I want while we date"
That doesn't exactly fly, sorry.

2) Clearly I've been looking in the wrong places then, because I've never so much as talked to a woman that "preferred" this kind of arrangement. Most women are teeming with insecurities and the thought of her man with another just opens a whole can of worms I could do without listening to.

3) I don't expect you to understand, because as a woman who is wired to be the producer/nurturer, you bare a closer bond to those you keep close in life. That's not to say men can't, but men are also wired to indulge sexuality heavily, and with many partners.
It's social conditioning that alters that fact.
You can't ignore that piece in your argument. For many (if not all) men, one woman for EVER is simply not enough sexually. Mentally and emotionally, yes. Very possible. Not sexually.
If they say otherwise, they're saying it to make you happy or avoid the inevitable arguments.
You may not understand that because you're not a man.

[QUOTE=janky;723281821]The biggest 3 points I caught from your rebuttal are;
1) That's just how it is. Deal with it.

2) There are, somewhere, women ok with "dont ask dont tell" relationships

3) Sex still retains, just with one person, on that one person's terms.


The problems I see are;
1) It's not the same as your taxes, mercedes, or any other analogy. These are matters of the heart. Saying "just deal with it" is akin to me saying "You just deal with me fuking whoever I want while we date"
That doesn't exactly fly, sorry.[/quote]

They may be matters of the heart, but reality shows, you are using it as a foundational argument, most people migrate to someone who want only them in return...that is a reality...so you ARE dealing with it, what is the sense in feeling slighted by it?

[quote]2) Clearly I've been looking in the wrong places then, because I've never so much as talked to a woman that "preferred" this kind of arrangement. Most women are teeming with insecurities and the thought of her man with another just opens a whole can of worms I could do without listening to.[/quote]

So broaden your horizons to some who see other aspirations in life that are greater than finding a man....

[quote]3) I don't expect you to understand, because as a woman who is wired to be the producer/nurturer, you bare a closer bond to those you keep close in life. That's not to say men can't, but men are also wired to indulge sexuality heavily, and with many partners.
It's social conditioning that alters that fact.[/quote]

All true but I am a pragmatic, tactical problem solver....I know myself very well, always have...I wanted what my mother had, a singular male in my life I can look up to and admire and love....I was fortunate to find one like I have.

[quote]You can't ignore that piece in your argument. For many (if not all) men, one woman for EVER is simply not enough sexually. Mentally and emotionally, yes. Very possible. Not sexually. [/quote]

I don't ignore it, I am swayed by the overwhelming truth of it, I lament that so many men are of that character and am glad to have found one I believe is of the character deserving of my devotion.

[quote]If they say otherwise, they're saying it to make you happy or avoid the inevitable arguments.
You may not understand that because you're not a man.[/QUOTE]

My husband can say what ever he likes, I have 30 years of data that assure me every day I made a good choice and can be happy with what I have.

Janky, there [I]are[/I] women who are ok with this. Myself and Nova, for a start. That's two just on this board. I won't speak for Nova but personally I think its naive to expect fidelity from men. Men can fuk entirely without emotional attachment. It's a meaningless as having a burger instead of a steak for once. If it means nothing, then it won't damage my relationship. With no emotional involvement, it won't detract from his feelings for me. Its a bit of random strange and I'd rather he felt he could indulge his masculinity without punishment. There are rules, of course; I absolutely don't want to know about it, and only once with the same person, ALWAYS use a condom and no sleeping over. I don't think a drunken fuk in an alley behind a club with a bar skank is any threat to my relationship, although it would be if he felt restricted or trapped by me; he would either have to stifle his natural instincts or he would have to lie/suffer guilt for it.
This way is much better.

I will add: it took me a long time to realise the truth of this, I wouldn't expect anyone young to even be able to consider it. It could also be because I have no desire to marry or have more children, which may give me a different outlook.

[QUOTE=janky;723247231]This is kind of continued from the cheating thread debate, but I'm curious...

You say you want honesty and loyalty from a man...

but how the hell can a guy be honest with you without getting reprimanded for it?

Here's a hypothetical to illustrate my point:
You meet a guy, things go great, really hit it off. He tells you "You're amazing, I love spending time with you, and I really see potential...
... but at this stage of my life I'm getting a lot of female attention, and I may bang another girl from time to time. I hope you're ok with it, because I genuinely like you and want something serious with you"


wat do women, wat do?

You'd be like "FUK YOU", launch into some tirade about how all men are cheating ass holes and only want one thing, and then you'd go bitch about it on ******** or to your friends or whatever.


So you've created this interesting paradox where you place such a high importance on honesty, yet sheer honesty will disqualify any potential suitors.

You want us to ignore our primal instinct to fornicate, lock it in a box, and throw away the key forever.
And so help us if you ever catch us LOOKING at a woman... oh laawwwdddy :mad:


and for what? So you can satisfy your primal wiring to pop out a kid, gain weight, and nag the living fuk out of us for the rest of our lives?

Come on.


Seriously, I'd like a legitimate answer to this.

What are men supposed to do when you say you want honesty, but honesty disqualifies us?[/QUOTE]

That is exactly what we want you to tell us and from the very beginning. If the girl feels the same way then she will be ok with it, if she did want a more serious committment then she wont. We do want the honest truth from you even if it isnt what we want to hear. The truth hurts but it is much better to be upfront about your intentions then to lead someone on imo. Im not saying its something u have to talk about on the first date but at the point u can tell someone wants more or the point where u know u definitely dont want to commit.

It may mean that person doesnt want to see you anymore but lets be serious, you know you werent that interested anyway if from the beginning u know u want to be seeing other people.

Just means you're not serious and she is.

I hate the whole "honesty" thing with women because with women you're never sure what they want to hear. Is it the lie or the truth?
"Honey you look great in that dress!"
Her Reply - "WAHT THE HELL THIS DRESS MAKES ME LOOK FAT? ARE YOU SAYING I LOOK FAT?!"
"Honey you are putting on weight."
Her reply - " What the hell you only like me for my looks! Blah blah blah"

The whole honesty thing with women is a lose situation in general because women take 90% of what you say completely different to it's dictionary meaning.

[QUOTE=Tiffany Wantsmore;723291641]Janky, there [I]are[/I] women who are ok with this. Myself and Nova, for a start. That's two just on this board. I won't speak for Nova but personally I think its naive to expect fidelity from men. Men can fuk entirely without emotional attachment. It's a meaningless as having a burger instead of a steak for once. If it means nothing, then it won't damage my relationship. With no emotional involvement, it won't detract from his feelings for me. Its a bit of random strange and I'd rather he felt he could indulge his masculinity without punishment. There are rules, of course; I absolutely don't want to know about it, and only once with the same person, ALWAYS use a condom and no sleeping over. I don't think a drunken fuk in an alley behind a club with a bar skank is any threat to my relationship, although it would be if he felt restricted or trapped by me; he would either have to stifle his natural instincts or he would have to lie/suffer guilt for it.
This way is much better.

I will add: it took me a long time to realise the truth of this, I wouldn't expect anyone young to even be able to consider it.[B] It could also be because I have no desire to marry or have more children, which may give me a different outlook[/B].[/QUOTE]

Iv talked to nova a lil bit about this, and you very briefly on that subject. you two would be an exception to the rule and they way the majority of woman think.

Tiff, he ever be ok with you sleeping with another man? or is that not even in the back of your mind?

[QUOTE=janky;723256551]TBH with you, I would greatly appreciate the heads up. I would appreciate finding a woman HONEST enough to straight up tell me there are other guys in the picture.
lettuce be real beef for a bucket;
[B]when you're "dating" most people aren't just talking to ONE person[/B]. You play the numbers. I'm not naive enough to think girls I'm "seeing" are ONLY talking to me.
But would they ever admit that? No. lol Girls can't even admit they've had intercourse with more than 7 people.

[B]So the honesty would be a refresher, and having all the cards on the table I could make an informed decision to proceed with an open relationship, get my dick wet wherever I choose, not pry into her business about where shes gettin her **** cave filled, and just enjoy what WE have when we're together.

Yea, I'd be fine with that.[/B][/QUOTE]

We have talked alot on here and on the phone and pretty much see eye to eye on this subject. and I agree with every word you just said.

how long would you be able to continue that type of relationship? its pretty easy first starting out before there are feelings. then u go through that honeymoon part. then you really get to know what the person is like.

2 months? 7 months? a year? 3 years? married? life?

at the same time, what would your reaction be if your gf told you that she was wanting other dick but still cared about you and wanted to be with you? if this happened a few months into the relationship, or after a year? or after you got married?

[QUOTE=tential;723324381]I hate the whole "honesty" thing with women because with women you're never sure what they want to hear. Is it the lie or the truth?
"Honey you look great in that dress!"
Her Reply - "WAHT THE HELL THIS DRESS MAKES ME LOOK FAT? ARE YOU SAYING I LOOK FAT?!"
"Honey you are putting on weight."
Her reply - " What the hell you only like me for my looks! Blah blah blah"

The whole honesty thing with women is a lose situation in general because women take 90% of what you say completely different to it's dictionary meaning.[/QUOTE]

I think they want you to say "you look great in that dress" and mean it. They want to hear the lie, but they want the lie to be true. I called my sister out on it and she agreed that she wants to hear the lies, but she doesn't want them to be lies.

Essentially, when women say they want someone who is honest, they want the world to be an ideal place where there's no need for men to lie rather than someone who is actually honest.

[QUOTE=James086;723343621]I think they want you to say "you look great in that dress" and mean it. They want to hear the lie, but they want the lie to be true. I called my sister out on it and she agreed that she wants to hear the lies, but she doesn't want them to be lies.

Essentially, when women say they want someone who is honest, they want the world to be an ideal place where there's no need for men to lie rather than someone who is actually honest.[/QUOTE]
Ok, I can say it and I can "mean it" but it doesn't matter it's irrelevant. If they don't believe it then any answer you give sounds bad. "You look great" she replies with "You're just saying that" no matter what you say she knows full well whether she looks good or not.

Women are just less evolved versions of men in todays society. There is NO reason for a woman to ever grow up. A woman acts the same between the ages of 15 and 30s because there is no reason to change people cater to them.

In the end, disregard woman, acquire aesthetics, education and money.

[QUOTE=Tiffany Wantsmore;723291641]Janky, there [I]are[/I] women who are ok with this. Myself and Nova, for a start. That's two just on this board. I won't speak for Nova but personally I think its naive to expect fidelity from men. Men can fuk entirely without emotional attachment. It's a meaningless as having a burger instead of a steak for once. If it means nothing, then it won't damage my relationship. With no emotional involvement, it won't detract from his feelings for me. Its a bit of random strange and I'd rather he felt he could indulge his masculinity without punishment. There are rules, of course; I absolutely don't want to know about it, and only once with the same person, ALWAYS use a condom and no sleeping over. [b]I don't think a drunken fuk in an alley behind a club with a bar skank is any threat to my relationship, although it would be if he felt restricted or trapped by me; he would either have to stifle his natural instincts or he would have to lie/suffer guilt for it.
This way is much better.[/b]

I will add: it took me a long time to realise the truth of this, I wouldn't expect anyone young to even be able to consider it. It could also be because I have no desire to marry or have more children, which may give me a different outlook.[/QUOTE]


I knew there was a reason I liked you :D

The bolded is exactly my point. Stifling a man's natural instincts for sex and expecting him to be satisfied with whatever morsels of it you decide to dish out - FOR LIFE - is a sure fire way to get cheated on or have a man resent you.
Don't like it? Date a beta and accept you'll never have a MAN in your life, unless you cheat on him with one - in which case, this becomes cyclical.

It's really a shame that this is such a difficult concept to digest; women would have absolutely ZERO problems keeping a man they love for life if they could just set some ground rules, and give a little flexibility on this subject.
No deceit.
No lying.
No betrayal.
All out in the open, nice and clear.
No paranoia.

BUT OMG HE MIGHT THINK SOME OTHER GIRL IS PRETTIER THAN ME SO IM GUNNA STIFLE HIM AND CHECK HIS ******** AND TEXTS WHEN HES IN THE SHOWER!!!
stfu.
Get a grip lol

[QUOTE=TinaBee;723292781]That is exactly what we want you to tell us and from the very beginning. If the girl feels the same way then she will be ok with it, if she did want a more serious committment then she wont. We do want the honest truth from you even if it isnt what we want to hear. The truth hurts but it is much better to be upfront about your intentions then to lead someone on imo. Im not saying its something u have to talk about on the first date but at the point u can tell someone wants more or the point where u know u definitely dont want to commit.

It may mean that person doesnt want to see you anymore but lets be serious, you know you werent that interested anyway if from the beginning u know u want to be seeing other people.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't go that far. I think a lot of people, women specifically, have this "meshed" concept of love and sex, as if the two go together. Tiffany's post illustrates my exact views on the subject, and she's got a decade on me. Maybe I'm ahead of my time lol...

Love =/= sex and vice versa. I could punish **** you raw and not even know your name or remember it a month from now. It's the same to me as playing football or going to lift. Just an activity.

Women can/do do this as well, but in the context of "seeing" someone or dating full on, there is no way in hell this can be discussed with postiive results. The majority of women would bail, IMMEDIATELY, and never look back - because they want this fairytale where a man is so enamored by them and them alone that they have him under lock and key, loyally, forever.

That's fine and all, but the real issue is that men need sex. Men want to **** as many women as possible. We all want it. Of course guys will bull**** you and tell you you're special and your turds smell like cinnabon, but lettuce be real beef; they have imagined shoving one of your friends against the wall, tearing off her panties, and destroying her vagina on the spot.
Maybe more than 1.

You can see how 10 years down the line, when the sex becomes stale, and the female isn't as interested in freaky sht or blowjobs anymore, the man could be tempted to venture elsewhere? That doesnt mean his love and dedication to that one woman is any less, just that she is no longer satisfying a very critical need.
If anything, it's less work a female has to do :D

[QUOTE=azn3r1c;723321931]Just means you're not serious and she is.[/QUOTE]

That is not at all what it means.
No offense bro, but did you read the post?

I could love a woman with my entire heart and soul, and know beyond a doubt that she is the one I want to spend my life with.

2 years in I will be bored of having sex with her and fantasize about fuking other women.

Guaranteed. Even the most perfect girl in the world.

If I choose to marry her, I spend the rest of my life stifling my sexuality and urges, succumbing to the activity being doled out as she sees fit.

See the problem?


[QUOTE=tential;723324381]I hate the whole "honesty" thing with women because with women you're never sure what they want to hear. Is it the lie or the truth?
"Honey you look great in that dress!"
Her Reply - "WAHT THE HELL THIS DRESS MAKES ME LOOK FAT? ARE YOU SAYING I LOOK FAT?!"
"Honey you are putting on weight."
Her reply - " What the hell you only like me for my looks! Blah blah blah"

The whole honesty thing with women is a lose situation in general because women take 90% of what you say completely different to it's dictionary meaning.[/QUOTE]

I always answer those questions with questions like; "Do you think you're fat? Gym has a special going ... I can train you and write up a diet"
:)

I hate women who whine about it - do something about your body if you dont like it, dont ask me to flatter you.

[QUOTE=spectre86;723328331]
how long would you be able to continue that type of relationship? its pretty easy first starting out before there are feelings. then u go through that honeymoon part. then you really get to know what the person is like.

2 months? 7 months? a year? 3 years? married? life?

at the same time, what would your reaction be if your gf told you that she was wanting other dick but still cared about you and wanted to be with you? if this happened a few months into the relationship, or after a year? or after you got married?[/QUOTE]

Life bro. That's the [b][u]ONLY[/b][/u] way I could be with someone for life.
I'm sure at points it would fluctuate, when you become obsessed with someone they become your main/only focus, so that would last quite a while... but eventually, be realtea, we'll both want some random action.
This especially holds true for men.
We're not inherent with the nurturing devotion a mother (woman) is. We're just primal beasts that like to **** and get rowdy :D
Taking that away from a man basically robs him of the entire essence of being a man.
You domesticate and neuter him, and he drives the kids to school in the van. Then at night you put on a movie and fall asleep next to each other.


Her wanting other dick is not a concern. A woman is going to be far more insecure than I am. If it were early stages, I would demote her to fuk buddy and proceed accordingly.
If it came up later in the relationship, I'd state my ground rules and be like "Have fun", because that means I'm allowed to do my bit as well.
Dont ask, dont tell.



[QUOTE=azn3r1c;723348311]In the end, disregard woman, acquire aesthetics, education and money.[/QUOTE]

in your 20's yeah...

[QUOTE=janky;723247231]This is kind of continued from the cheating thread debate, but I'm curious...

You say you want honesty and loyalty from a man...

but how the hell can a guy be honest with you without getting reprimanded for it?

Here's a hypothetical to illustrate my point:
You meet a guy, things go great, really hit it off. He tells you "You're amazing, I love spending time with you, and I really see potential...
... but at this stage of my life I'm getting a lot of female attention, and I may bang another girl from time to time. I hope you're ok with it, because I genuinely like you and want something serious with you"


wat do women, wat do?

You'd be like "FUK YOU", launch into some tirade about how all men are cheating ass holes and only want one thing, and then you'd go bitch about it on ******** or to your friends or whatever.


So you've created this interesting paradox where you place such a high importance on honesty, yet sheer honesty will disqualify any potential suitors.

You want us to ignore our primal instinct to fornicate, lock it in a box, and throw away the key forever.
And so help us if you ever catch us LOOKING at a woman... oh laawwwdddy :mad:


and for what? So you can satisfy your primal wiring to pop out a kid, gain weight, and nag the living fuk out of us for the rest of our lives?

Come on.


Seriously, I'd like a legitimate answer to this.

What are men supposed to do when you say you want honesty, but honesty disqualifies us?[/QUOTE]

If you ask women for an answer here, your going to get a lot of female logic with exceptions from few female posers (musclemom, fukc, digitalbath, etc).

Basically, I keep my mouth shut although, I am straight up with a girl. If she thinks we are bf and gf, I will let her know, its not like that.

I remember a girl who I had been ****ing, hooked up 1st night at a club, and several weeks after. She turned and said, "now that your my boyfriend...."

[img]http://i45.tinypic.com/2w65m4y.jpg[/img]

what the ****?

My advice is to just crush vagina, your single, act like it, and if something more serious comes along, then see where it goes. Till you have a loyal hot girls on your cock committed. She isn't shady and her eyes are on you and only you with no red flags, I wouldn't ****ing care if they get mad cause I am ****ing someone else. I am willing to bet she is ****ing me and someone else on the side as we speak. Whores.

This thread is now about cawk size

Sittin right around 3.50 here

I'd have to agree that when you're "dating" someone, I don't feel it is exclusive until you become 'serious' with that person. I mean the point behind dating is to find what you really want in a person. I mean yea obviously be careful if you're "with" someone else sexually because you want to protect anyone from an STI lol. Honesty is good, I was seeing someone for about a month but we were both open to seeing other people as well, and then we parted ways but are still good friends. If you are exclusive with someone then you shouldn't be sleeping with other people, but obviously there's still going to be attractions to others like if I see a hot guy I'll notice him, just like a guy would notice DD's lol.

Then your mentality is still "I still want to play around". If you're not ready for a committed relationship then stay out of it and have fun. If you start to think about commitment and settling down, pretty much you got to drop everything. We can't have everything we want.

[QUOTE=jamestown0101;723361401]If you ask women for an answer here, your going to get a lot of female logic with exceptions from few female posers (musclemom, fukc, digitalbath, etc).

Basically, I keep my mouth shut although, I am straight up with a girl. If she thinks we are bf and gf, I will let her know, its not like that.

I remember a girl who I had been ****ing, hooked up 1st night at a club, and several weeks after. She turned and said, "now that your my boyfriend...."

[img]http://i45.tinypic.com/2w65m4y.jpg[/img]

what the ****?

My advice is to just crush vagina, your single, act like it, and if something more serious comes along, then see where it goes. Till you have a loyal hot girls on your cock committed. She isn't shady and her eyes are on you and only you with no red flags, I wouldn't ****ing care if they get mad cause I am ****ing someone else. I am willing to bet she is ****ing me and someone else on the side as we speak. Whores.[/QUOTE]

So what happens when you meet that girl and are ready to wife?
Do you give up sexuality in favor of having this great woman?
Because be honest - 3-5 years in you're going to get bored smashing the same pussy.
Then wat

[QUOTE=DERJEVPOO;723361691]This thread is now about cawk size

Sittin right around 3.50 here[/QUOTE]

3.75 WAT WAAAT!
[QUOTE=cmarlo;723362591]I'd have to agree that when you're "dating" someone, I don't feel it is exclusive until you become 'serious' with that person. I mean the point behind dating is to find what you really want in a person. I mean yea obviously be careful if you're "with" someone else sexually because you want to protect anyone from an STI lol. Honesty is good, I was seeing someone for about a month but we were both open to seeing other people as well, and then we parted ways but are still good friends. If you are exclusive with someone then you shouldn't be sleeping with other people, but obviously there's still going to be attractions to others like if I see a hot guy I'll notice him, just like a guy would notice DD's lol.[/QUOTE]

I'm glad you get that concept at 19, you're a smart girl so I'd expect you to keep up :)

See the thing is, I don't believe women really grasp the concept of how important sex is to men. What's the longest relationship you've been in? Ever been with someone over 3 years? Ever get bored of sex, honestly?
Imagine how bored a guy will get - and the fact that he's entirely shut down his sexuality and his hormones have actually [i]lowered[/i], is just like cutting off his balls. He remains loyal, and takes sex when you're willing to give it.

Do any women honestly believe that their man has never thought about fuking another girl? You know we fap to porn when we're seriously dating you right?
It's just nature. We want to. Bottom line.

It's not such a big deal early on, but think of the long term picture here... 5, 10, 15 years down the road.

A few months in you should be loyal, because that behavior demonstrates your interest level in this particular person. If I'm totally swooning over cmarlo, I wouldn't care about the hot redhead in class. My focus is with her.
10 years after we're married, I want to **** everyone that's NOT her. It's nothing personal, and I could still love her to pieces, but that's just part of me being a man.

[QUOTE=azn3r1c;723364031]Then your mentality is still "I still want to play around". If you're not ready for a committed relationship then stay out of it and have fun. If you start to think about commitment and settling down, pretty much you got to drop everything. We can't have everything we want.[/QUOTE]

Then you do get it.
That is exactly what I have a problem with.

I will put in work in a relationship, through good and bad. I will dedicate myself to the right girl, and seeing her happy. I will be 100% honest with her, and treat her with the utmost respect. But I still will want to fuk other women years down the road.

Can't have what I want? Says who? :)

and why can't you?

The problem is a lot of people just say "Oh thats just how things are" and never question it. Things never change if you never try to change them.
But everyone's quick to bitch about things they don't like - well, change it then.

[QUOTE=janky;723365731]So what happens when you meet that girl and are ready to wife?
Do you give up sexuality in favor of having this great woman?
Because be honest - 3-5 years in you're going to get bored smashing the same pussy.
Then wat



3.75 WAT WAAAT!


I'm glad you get that concept at 19, you're a smart girl so I'd expect you to keep up :)

See the thing is, I don't believe women really grasp the concept of how important sex is to men. What's the longest relationship you've been in? Ever been with someone over 3 years? Ever get bored of sex, honestly?
Imagine how bored a guy will get - and the fact that he's entirely shut down his sexuality and his hormones have actually [i]lowered[/i], is just like cutting off his balls. He remains loyal, and takes sex when you're willing to give it.

Do any women honestly believe that their man has never thought about fuking another girl? You know we fap to porn when we're seriously dating you right?
It's just nature. We want to. Bottom line.

It's not such a big deal early on, but think of the long term picture here... 5, 10, 15 years down the road.

A few months in you should be loyal, because that behavior demonstrates your interest level in this particular person. If I'm totally swooning over cmarlo, I wouldn't care about the hot redhead in class. My focus is with her.
10 years after we're married, I want to **** everyone that's NOT her. It's nothing personal, and I could still love her to pieces, but that's just part of me being a man.[/QUOTE]

Yea I really don't see a point in thinking about that whole long term thing yet when I have school, travelling, and money to be making first. Only reason I know my parents are still good is because they are both losing weight now and becoming attracted to eachother again. And that is biology, if a girl is hot and has some good baby making hips, a guy is bound to be attracted to her somewhat, it's genetics. Just like a girl will go for a guy with money, because they can be stable financially.

[QUOTE=janky;723359341]I knewLife bro. That's the [b][u]ONLY[/b][/u] way I could be with someone for life.
I'm sure at points it would fluctuate, when you become obsessed with someone they become your main/only focus, so that would last quite a while... but eventually, be realtea, we'll both want some random action.
This especially holds true for men.
We're not inherent with the nurturing devotion a mother (woman) is. We're just primal beasts that like to **** and get rowdy :D
Taking that away from a man basically robs him of the entire essence of being a man.
You domesticate and neuter him, and he drives the kids to school in the van. Then at night you put on a movie and fall asleep next to each other.


Her wanting other dick is not a concern. A woman is going to be far more insecure than I am. If it were early stages, I would demote her to fuk buddy and proceed accordingly.
If it came up later in the relationship, I'd state my ground rules and be like "Have fun", because that means I'm allowed to do my bit as well.
Dont ask, dont tell.
[/QUOTE]

So is it a lack of freakyness, Bj's, sex that makes u want other woman, or is it just tired of sleeping with the same woman? assuming she wouldnt stop with the sex or being kinky, would you still want strange?

[QUOTE=DERJEVPOO;723361691]This thread is now about cawk size

Sittin right around 3.50 here[/QUOTE]

I ever tell you when I got a ticket for indecent exposure? I was at a concert and had to pee and didnt wanna wait in the long ass line. so i found dumpster and was peeing behing it. finished, turned around and there was a female cop standing there. fuuuuuuuuu. asked what I was doing. I told her. Then she wrote me up a ticket for indecent exposure. $900!! I asked why it was so much and she said its $100 per inch.

trollface.jpg

[QUOTE=cmarlo;723369621]Yea I really don't see a point in thinking about that whole long term thing yet when I have school, travelling, and money to be making first. Only reason I know my parents are still good is because they are both losing weight now and becoming attracted to eachother again. And that is biology, if a girl is hot and has some good baby making hips, a guy is bound to be attracted to her somewhat, it's genetics. Just [B]like a girl will go for a guy with money, because they can be stable financially[/B].[/QUOTE]

lol