Lifting is curing my depression (Long)
I graduated school with honors, and was given a scholarship to the university I always wanted to attend. I finished my first year and was offered a career job making $12/hr starting. I worked my way up to shift supervisor close to my 2 year mark and was making $54,000 annual salary. Life was good.
Shortly after my 22 birthday, my life took a turn for the worse. Everything that could go wrong happened. I lost my job. I lost my girl. I had no place to live. All my friends were nowhere around because I had abandoned them to acquire currency. So to try and up my spirits, my family threw me a bonfire party.
Everything was going well at first. Some of my old friends showed up. We were all drinking and having a good time. Then it happened. I can remember it like yesterday. My drunk ass stumbled backwards and fell into the fire. I had 2nd degree burns along the right side of my body, with 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my ass and lower back.
Due to my injuries, I lost the minimum wage job I needed to get back on my feet. I couldn't do anything besides sit in a chair for 4 weeks while my wounds healed. Looking back, I believe this is the point where my depression set in. I did nothing but pop a lot of ******** and lortab, drink heavily, and smoke pot. This trend continued for years.
I finally got tired of being a piece of **** and kicked the pills and slowed down tremendously on the pot and alcohol. Things were still the same so I kicked all drugs. Even sober I felt down and out all the time. Next I go to the doctor and get put on medication. The meds gave me more energy, but the cloud was still over my head. At this point I am a 25 year old loser with no friends who lives with his Mom.
I took a long look into the mirror and did not the reflection. I went from an active 195 pounds to a fat, lazy slob at 280+ pounds in only three years. I can not think of one productive thing I accomplished in this time. It is all a big blur. I had to change.
I started lifting and slowly cleaning up my diet. It was very hard at first. I had zero motivation and was out of shape to say the least. I slowly started gaining some of my motivation back. I fell off the wagon a couple of times but I always jumped back on. I refused to fall back to my old ways.
Fast forward to today and I feel like a brand new person. I have only lost around 30 pounds, but I have come a long way. When looking at photos from when I first started lifting and now, I can tell a huge difference. The biggest difference is in my confidence. Lifting is slowly getting my life back on track
I started setting goals. The goals were small and basic at first, but every goal I met made me feel a little better about myself. My goals started getting more difficult and I did something I had not done since that dark, cold night I fell into the fire. I planned for the future.
I set yearly strength and conditioning goals for myself. I made career goals and financial goals. I started doing everything for a reason. Most of everything I do now is planned and I am no longer coasting through life with no purpose. I look forward to my next workout and meeting my goals. I look forward to waking up and breathing fresh air. And most importantly, I do not look back.
I woke up and realized I had no one to blame but me. Only I could make life better. And this is what I'm doing. I look back at where I started and am very thankful I decided to make a change. I am now walking that long road of life and enjoying every second.
If you want to change, you have to do it for yourself. If you fail, you have no one to blame but yourself. If you want something bad enough, you will find a way to get it. Stop making excuses. Do not give up. It will not happen overnight. But if you put in the time and hard work to reach your goals, good things will happen.
My change started when I picked up the barbell. Thank you Brother Iron.
Good luck on all of your future goals,
Dwayne