Have you ever settled or lowered your standards just to gain dating experience?

Because of that, i sometimes still feel like an FA, stands for Forever Alone in case you didn't know.

while yes i have dated before, but i've never been in a serious long-term relationship, just 4 months, and i feel i kinda settled for it, but to raise my self-esteem, i repeat to myself that it was better than nothing, i did it for the reference experience, thats another way i look at it, and another thing, we never dated or were never together during critical times of the year, such as Valentines Day or during the Holidays, never traveled together, and we never introduced each other to our friends or families. Because by the time i met her, Valentines Day had already passed and we had already broken up long before the holidays started.

I did that mainly because i wanted to finally break, snap the single streak, finally cross that hurdle of no longer being single, i didn't want to have to mental stigma attached to me that i was single throughout my 20s.

I thought to myself, gaining experience with an average or slightly below average girl is better than ending up as a 30 or 40-year old virgin.

Another thing, due to being perpetually single or never dating anyone before her, my urge to experience the emotional and companionship part of a relationship, was stronger than the urge for the sexual/intimate part.

I wouldn't describe her as being horrendous, just kinda chubby, a little fat but not overly obese, i had the mindset of liking a girl just for who she is as a person, personality, the emotional/companionship part, a part of me feels that was a maturity awakening in me. I feel just liking and loving a woman just for who she is, personality, as a person, is an awesome and admirable trait, quality to have.

Anyway, who else has done this?

Lol at asking this on a forum that is full of 10K a day CEO's who only date/bang 10/10 models.

Honestly, I don't feel like I've ever settled because I only date/have sex with guys that I'm both physically attracted to and feel like I click with. I need the mental click as much as the physical. I've been attracted to all different types of men and really DGAF if anyone else thinks they're attractive. All I care about is if I do.

Don't worry what other people think. What's important is do you genuinely like her? Are you attracted to her? Those are the things that matter. You also shouldn't use people, so if you don't feel those things then you shouldn't date her just for "experience".

I’d never be able to settle for someone. What if I settle then one day they ask me to eat their pussy? I’d throw up.

[QUOTE=Legz422;1626858583]Lol at asking this on a forum that is full of 10K a day CEO's who only date/bang 10/10 models.

Honestly, I don't feel like I've ever settled because I only date/have sex with guys that I'm both physically attracted to and feel like I click with. I need the mental click as much as the physical. I've been attracted to all different types of men and really DGAF if anyone else thinks they're attractive. All I care about is if I do.

Don't worry what other people think. What's important is do you genuinely like her? Are you attracted to her? Those are the things that matter. You also shouldn't use people, so if you don't feel those things then you shouldn't date her just for "experience".[/QUOTE]

ya well i feel experience is needed for guys more than girls since the burden of leadership falls on the guys shoulders.

[QUOTE=EctoPlasmic217;1626859593]ya well i feel experience is needed for guys more than girls since the burden of leadership falls on the guys shoulders.[/QUOTE]

So you think it's ok to just use people? How would you like it if someone you really liked was using you?

[QUOTE=Austin317;1626859513]I’d never be able to settle for someone. What if I settle then one day they ask me to eat their pussy? I’d throw up.[/QUOTE] I found her attractive enough to get intimate on that aspect.

[QUOTE=Legz422;1626859913]So you think it's ok to just use people? How would you like it if someone you really liked was using you?[/QUOTE]

if it was someone i wanted to spend the rest of my life with, then i wouldn't like it at all, but i just wanted to finally break the single streak, it still goes back to what i said, guys need experience more than girls do since historically, traditionally, guys do the heavy-lifting in dating, attraction, seduction.

yes, or atleast had the 'just give it a try' mentality.

For sex yeah, all the time. Never had serious relationship so can't tell for sure, guess i can compromise by a degree but not much. I consider myself a catch so why would i.

[QUOTE=randomuser12345;1626861393]For sex yeah, all the time. Never had serious relationship so can't tell for sure, guess i can compromise by a degree but not much. I consider myself a catch so why would i.[/QUOTE]

what do you mean or define by a serious relationship in your perspective?

when you are talking to one girl more than 3-4 month consistently and not only for sex but actually going out etc. Mb even living together.

[QUOTE=randomuser12345;1626864383]when you are talking to one girl more than 3-4 month consistently and not only for sex but actually going out etc. Mb even living together.[/QUOTE] how long was your longest relationship?

Yes but this stemmed from my own insecurity/neediness than it did as a strategy for dating.

-Back in summer of 2019, had a bad break up and from September-January I went on dating spree with a bunch of girls (a lot of whom were below my standard) for the sake of just dating because I was so miserable after my break-up. I honestly came out of these dates thinking to myself wtf am I doing, these aren't women that I'm interested in at all. Some were actually good dates and the women wanted to see me again, but I just told them it was a no go. Sometimes I event went into these dates already knowing they were going to lead nowhere. This was obviously a wrong thing to do, but I was in a pretty rough state and I just craved the validation.

-In Feb of this year I actually met a girl, who I considered to be a a 'dream girl' and dated her until the end of this year but that fell apart last month after she had previously had to move away for work and after months of long distance, it was just too hard to maintain with this pandemic and all.

-This time around I didn't repeat the same pattern. I currently have a fwb, who is a pretty cool chick that I hit up after my break-up and am currently hanging out with her 2x per week. Other than that, I haven't been on a single date since I broke up with my gf last month. Wont repeat the same process I did last year, I just don't feel right wasting people's time anymore. I also don't feel the need of validation like I did before. I guess after the past two years of horrible dating experiences, I've just become accustomed to the disappointment lol.

Like i said i didn't have any. Longest i talked to one girls was about month or so.

I have a major trust issues with all this redpill sh*t i've not only seen online and read but witnessed myself from 3 years of dating.

I'm not able to date rn, we either f*ck and then date or no way. Thoughts that girl is cucking me with som1 else while we are dating will be with me for life.

Could never lower them for a chubby or fat girl. Would rather be FA.

Thin & not very pretty = I'd take that.

If by “dating experience” you mean “access to pussy”

For hookups yes but less so now that quality is easier to attain.
For dating, never.

Looking back on it I feel it was better than nothing, I repeat that to myself to raise my self-esteem and it works.

[QUOTE=skinnyfat88;1626879773]For hookups yes but less so now that quality is easier to attain.
For dating, never.[/QUOTE]

sounds like you agree with that, as in, thats better than ending up as a 30 or 40 year old virgin

When I was younger I'd have casual flings. Now that I'm older I don't even wanna bang randoms, and if the relationship is too intense I just lose interest. I've had a string of sh!te relationships. And while I can keep a lid on my crazy, the girls I dated most recently couldn't....not across my dating history, just the last 3 or 4. This has made me seriously consider even wanting to get intimate with anyone.

My first girlfriend when I was 16, I thought was OK looking...kinda settled for her back then. We didn't last long.

if you have little experience with women then you can't possibly begin to really understand standards or settling.
you date what you can date and sometimes you can move up.
sometimes you can't.

basically if the best you can get is some pear-shaped fast-food counter worker, that isn't settling, that is your standard.
if you'd rather jerk off than have sex with what is actually attainable to you, that's on you.

but at that point you sound like Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies.
Perpetually unemployed because you are holding out for a management position.

[QUOTE=NitrogenWidget;1626914293]if you have little experience with women then you can't possibly begin to really understand standards or settling.
you date what you can date and sometimes you can move up.
sometimes you can't.

basically if the best you can get is some pear-shaped fast-food counter worker, that isn't settling, that is your standard.
if you'd rather jerk off than have sex with what is actually attainable to you, that's on you.

but at that point you sound like Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies.
Perpetually unemployed because you are holding out for a management position.[/QUOTE]

in terms of losing virginity, going for an average or slightly below average girl, i believe thats better than ending up as a 30 or 40 year old virgin.

[QUOTE=CrimsonSteel;1626913783]When I was younger I'd have casual flings. Now that I'm older I don't even wanna bang randoms, and if the relationship is too intense I just lose interest. I've had a string of sh!te relationships. And while I can keep a lid on my crazy, the girls I dated most recently couldn't....not across my dating history, just the last 3 or 4. This has made me seriously consider even wanting to get intimate with anyone.

My first girlfriend when I was 16, I thought was OK looking...kinda settled for her back then. We didn't last long.[/QUOTE]

my guess is, you had other girlfriends since her

My standards dont matter. If i totally drop standards, I would still not get any experience. Because chicks don't drop their standards.

[QUOTE=NitrogenWidget;1626914293]if you have little experience with women then you can't possibly begin to really understand standards or settling.
you date what you can date and sometimes you can move up.
sometimes you can't.

basically if the best you can get is some pear-shaped fast-food counter worker, that isn't settling, that is your standard.
if you'd rather jerk off than have sex with what is actually attainable to you, that's on you.

but at that point you sound like Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies.
Perpetually unemployed because you are holding out for a management position.[/QUOTE]

This is the best answer IMO

Yes, just to get the first nut out of the way

[QUOTE=NitrogenWidget;1626914293]if you have little experience with women then you can't possibly begin to really understand standards or settling.
you date what you can date and sometimes you can move up.
sometimes you can't.

basically if the best you can get is some pear-shaped fast-food counter worker, that isn't settling, that is your standard.
if you'd rather jerk off than have sex with what is actually attainable to you, that's on you.

but at that point you sound like Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies.
Perpetually unemployed because you are holding out for a management position.[/QUOTE]

Top answer. The only way you can even know if you're truly "settling" or compromising is if you've been working on yourself and dating consistently. Then you have a framework to compare it to. Obviously no one should get with someone who treats them like trash because it's all you can get, but just talking lookswise, if you were FA and that's the only girl who gave you attention, you weren't settling.

to be honest, I wouldn't say that you actually settled. You probably just finally dipped your toes into dating a girl who is in your league. Not trying to be rude, but trying to be real with the limited info I have. You may have set yourself at a bar that's too high than reality, but you don't realize this so you believe you have settled. Now think about it, you didn't have a gf until 32 yrs old, don't you think that if you were as high quality as you thought you were, then you'd have a bit more success than you actually did? Just do some thinking and soul-searching and set reasonable bars for yourself and your future partners. Just because chads bang sloots doesn't mean that you bang sloots. It pays to know your limits, your weaknesses as well as your strengths - because we all have both, you can't just focus on one and ignore the other because it exists whether you like it or not. All part of growing up, knowing yourself is more important than know how to get girls (gaining experience as you have described it). The age-old saying of "just be yourself" couldn't be truer than in this situation.

I’ll fukk anything with a vagina. serious.

I get rejected by them all so no hope

How can you get excited about some fat whale in your bed. Quite funny those are the sloots who actually think they’re something special and have an attitude. F relationships