When you die what do you want your family to do with your body?

dear diary

Dealing with funeral proceedings at the moment and this chit is getting expensive.

$5k for the funeral service (just to occupy the building for an hour to have the ceremony)
$3k just to dig the hole
$2k for the cheapest coffin

no idea what the etching on the gravestone is going to cost yet, but i'm assuming thats going to be another $1k even for the simplest design.

Oh, and even though she (my grandmother) has life insurance to pay for all of this, it won't be paid out until 3-6 WEEKS after they receive a copy of her death certificate and the processing of the death certificate takes about a week to process. So, it will be as far out as late march before we see that money.

If we didn't have the money to pay for the funeral services (and had to wait on life insurance money), then the body is treated like a car thats been impounded. Every day they charge you to keep the body "on ice," so the mortuary would have gotten a decent chunk of that money.

The only reason why it isn't even [i]more[/i] expensive is because my grandfather is already buried in a plot 12' deep. We're just going to place her 6' on top of him. Creating a brand new burial plot would have been an additional $5k minimum

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All this boomer "Pomp and Circumstance" for funerals is essentially one giant racket meant to get as much money out of a family/household one last time. When I die, I don't care what happens to my body (because i'll be dead) just cremate me or throw my body in a dumpster because this is ridiculous.

Literally does not matter.

Everything that they do with me after is for them. Not me.

Whatever is cheapest.

Literally tell whoever takes my body that it's their problem now. I'm dead, I will give zero fuks.

Bury me on a hill, over looking a river, with pinecones all around

Cremate my body, and throw away the ashes. A dead body isn't worth anything.

Cremation, scatter my ashes in a place/places I feel a connection with. No interest in a grave that no one will visit anyway.

[img]https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.jxY088MVXiTQtCtVLRoQtQHaE6?rs=1&pid=ImgDetMain[/img]

[QUOTE=Ironmanlet;1697222943]Literally does not matter.

Everything that they do with me after is for them. Not me.[/QUOTE]

100% this. I always told my family that I couldn't care any less what becomes of my corpse. I'm dead, I won't know nor give a schit. If it helps them cope to have a funeral, so be it. Ideally, it would be nice to dedicate my corpse to science, an example being donating it to a medical school so they can practice procedures on it. Either that or that skinless corpse exhibition so my dead body can travel the world and people everywhere can admire the natty gains I've spent 15 years painstakingly making. What a legacy. I mentioned this to my wife and she was horrified lol. I told her, 'you can go visit the exhibition and look at my cawk and balls on display.' Not a great joke, I guess. Made her sad to think of me being gone.

Viking funeral for me.



[img]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/94/b9/7b/94b97b8a6fb0d5ef1091ef5576edc807.gif[/img]

Cremation
Take my ashes and spread them out at the corner of Main and 1st St. with a sign that says, "Kiss My Ash!"

I detailed exactly what I wanted when I had my will written out years ago.


Absolutely no funeral, no announcement, and put into the ground as quickly as possible in the cheapest box available. There are stipulations that if this doesn't happen my surviving family get absolutely none of my assets and they would be liquidated and donated to a local charity. Lawyer sloot was surprised for some reason??

I have considered changing the burial portion and change to a cremation and have the ashes flushed down the toilet. Srs vry srs.

Donate the body to science, let some med school kids play with my wiener and butthole

[QUOTE=dingler;1697224523]Donate the body to science, let some med school kids play with my wiener and butthole[/QUOTE]

See post above. Nice idea.

Either that or sky burial. Let vultures and coyotes help themselves to meat that would otherwise go to waste. Got more on me than your average person so it'd be like a buffet for them :D

[QUOTE=tripod29;1697224513]I detailed exactly what I wanted when I had my will written out years ago.

Absolutely no funeral, no announcement, and put into the ground as quickly as possible in the cheapest box available. There are stipulations that if this doesn't happen my surviving family get absolutely none of my assets and they would be liquidated and donated to a local charity. Lawyer sloot was surprised for some reason??
[/QUOTE]

This is a problem we're dealing with currently. My grandmother simply didn't believe that she would ever die. She never wanted to talk about dying or creating a Will or anything of the sort. She believed that she would be raptured or whatever before her death, so besides her life insurance (which also took an arm and leg to convince her to get) she didn't really have anything planned in terms of giving away assets/jewelry to family members, so now thats going to become a huge headache because family we haven't seen in years is coming out of the woodwork claiming she told them they could have "XYZ" item/vehicle etc, and its basically their word against hers, and she gone. So, how do we know they're not telling the truth?

Personally, I don't want to get into it, nor do I want any of that stuff. All it would do is collect dust in my closet creating more clutter. They can swarm the house and pick it apart like vultures for all I care

What I don't get is that boomers are so fixated on the ceremonial aspect of a funeral dealing with a body, but they'll also turn around and say the body is just a "vessel" for the soul. So, once you're dead, why does it matter what happens to the body? Just get rid of the damn thing.

[QUOTE=dingler;1697224523]Donate the body to science, let some med school kids play with my wiener and butthole[/QUOTE]

lol, yeah, if not cremation, this is definitely and option for me too.

I wont have a family. I'll die and nobody will realize it for months.
Depressing

I feel for you dude I can already see the sister in laws trying to claim things from the gf's aging parents. It is nasty and will be a source of drama. And that jewelry thing, will be a major headache so let that go right now.
Best of luck.

As for myself the spirit lives on and the body turns to dust, so cremation for this round.

[QUOTE=x-trainer ben;1697227163]I feel for you dude I can already see the sister in laws trying to claim things from the gf's aging parents. It is nasty and will be a source of drama. And that jewelry thing, will be a major headache so let that go right now.
Best of luck.
[/QUOTE]

One of the 'better things' about being an only child in a small family. No fighting over money & possessions with siblings.

Going back to the OP.

Already been posted, but I do want a Viking Funeral. Anything worth anything can be donated to charities, put me in a boat and cast me into the North Sea. Burn me and some of my family heirlooms to take to Valhalla. All good.

[QUOTE=x-trainer ben;1697227163]I feel for you dude I can already see the sister in laws trying to claim things from the gf's aging parents. It is nasty and will be a source of drama. And that jewelry thing, will be a major headache so let that go right now.
Best of luck.

As for myself the spirit lives on and the body turns to dust, so cremation for this round.[/QUOTE]

That's a really unbecoming human behaviour, isn't it? Grief does interesting things to us. You'll often see family members basically [I]pillaging[/I] the house of the dead relative.

[QUOTE=BigBallsMcgee;1697226783]I wont have a family. I'll die and nobody will realize it for months.
Depressing[/QUOTE]hahahahahahahahahaha

[QUOTE=Bodhy;1697224333]Viking funeral for me.



[img]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/94/b9/7b/94b97b8a6fb0d5ef1091ef5576edc807.gif[/img][/QUOTE]

That would smell horrible.

[Youtube]0Rtu1Va-dnM?si=hC3LfzS-pNjbU43y[/youtube]

Something cool.....like strap me to a 4 wheeler, soak me in gas, light it up and send me off into the Grand Canyon.

Tie me to a ceiling fan somewhere so everyone can high five me one last time.

[QUOTE=Kawhilights;1697228403]Tie me to a ceiling fan somewhere so everyone can high five me one last time.[/QUOTE]

But then your flaccid floppy dink would fly in a circle comically and everyone would just see your soft meat flapping in the wind like an old wet sock left out in a rainy wind storm.

I told my kids to have me cremated and to dump my ashes in Lake Michigan.

They want to keep the ashes instead and argued over who gets the head part and who gets the butt part.

I hope, when I die I will be deep in unsecured debt. In remote shack of bamboo and no family in vicinity. Burial will be done by government service of some sort. Cheap cask, small urn.

[QUOTE=Maestro;1697222843] Creating a brand new burial plot would have been an additional $5k minimum
[/QUOTE]

where I live it is over 70K. Probably more.

I told my wife to cremate me. Then mix my ashes into a large Wendy’s chilli and eat it. So I can tear that azz up one more time.

[QUOTE=dingler;1697224523]Donate the body to science, let some med school kids play with my wiener and butthole[/QUOTE]
What my dad did. It's free, and when they're done slicing and dicing you they cremate you and mail the ashes back for free.

I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread somewhere beautiful like a beach in Bermuda or Hawaii or maybe somewhere in the mountains. I definitely don't want a viewing and don't really care about a funeral. I especially don't want people inconvenienced with a week day service. I'd rather my family just throw a party or something.