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chevellezgirl
07-03-2006, 05:49 PM
hey yall. i am fairly new to the site and to body building. i started in february going to the gym with my boyfriend. we both decided that it was time for both of us to change (not only for us, but to set a good example for when we have children one day). he wanted to look more bulked up (he was skinny everywhere but had a small tummy). and i wanted to get into shape for the police academy ( i have recently lost a lot of weight). neither of us have a far reach for our goals, but it takes some effort! well my main problem now is not MY motivation, but his. we go all the time together(about 5 to 6 days a week, three hours a day), but lately he has been not wanting to go. i hate not going..its like a drug for me. working out makes me feel so much better about myself and it makes me happy. i tried going alone, but i always like having someone there to keep me going on my off days, or to just spot me. does anyone have any advice to get him back into the game plan? i have a MAJOR PT test coming up and would like to get back into it before its too late. he is looking awesome and i notice a difference after only a few months, so i dont think hes discouraged...anything that has worked for you or someone you know would be awesome. thanks for any help:)

HighVelocity
07-04-2006, 01:53 PM
chevellezgirl-

Congratulations on all of the changes you've already made!! Way to go!! And congratulations on your goal of entering the police academy!

I think the best motivation for you BF is seeing all the positive changes your new lifestyle gives you :D I know you want this for him too, but he needs to want it for himself as well. If you push him or drop too many "hints" it might push him away, and put him on the defensive. I say, stick to your guns, go workout, eat healthy, stay positive, invite him to join you at the gym once in a while-like once every few weeks or so, love him unconditionally and be patient.

Best of luck!!

WillDeadliftForFood
07-04-2006, 03:12 PM
This is a lesson I've learned the hard way, time after time.

You can convince a person to start going to the gym. You can convince them to start exercising, to start watching what they eat, and take better care of themselves. You can't convince them to stick with it.

My advice to you: don't be negative in any way. Don't try to make him feel bad for not going (I'm not saying you are, I just wanted to make that a point). Positive reinforcement is the best way (In My Own Opinion). Make him feel good for going to the gym. The days he does, tell him how sexy he looks all pumped up, or that you really appreciate him being there to motivate you. Approach the idea of "gym time" in a fun way and try to let some of your eagerness spill over to him. This "good feeling" may finally internalize and he'll associate the gym with positive thoughts.

In the end, no matter what or how much you do, it is his own desire that'll keep him working out. This lifestyle isn't for everyone, and if it's not for him you'll have to accept that. You may have to find someone else to be your workout partner for the gym.

There are alternatives when it comes to fitness. He may not like the gym, but he may enjoy running, swimming, biking, rock climbing, informal sports leagues. If you find out he's not a born gym-rat you can try to turn him on to other physical activities. You won't have a workout partner, but you'll both be staying fit and he'll be doing something he enjoys.

Hope this all helps.

twinnett
07-04-2006, 06:40 PM
Maybe it's a little overkill for him. 3 hours a day at the gym is pretty extreme.

OldEnuf2BYoMama
07-04-2006, 08:00 PM
This is a lesson I've learned the hard way, time after time.

You can convince a person to start going to the gym. You can convince them to start exercising, to start watching what they eat, and take better care of themselves. You can't convince them to stick with it.

My advice to you: don't be negative in any way. Don't try to make him feel bad for not going (I'm not saying you are, I just wanted to make that a point). Positive reinforcement is the best way (In My Own Opinion). Make him feel good for going to the gym. The days he does, tell him how sexy he looks all pumped up, or that you really appreciate him being there to motivate you. Approach the idea of "gym time" in a fun way and try to let some of your eagerness spill over to him. This "good feeling" may finally internalize and he'll associate the gym with positive thoughts.

In the end, no matter what or how much you do, it is his own desire that'll keep him working out. This lifestyle isn't for everyone, and if it's not for him you'll have to accept that. You may have to find someone else to be your workout partner for the gym.

There are alternatives when it comes to fitness. He may not like the gym, but he may enjoy running, swimming, biking, rock climbing, informal sports leagues. If you find out he's not a born gym-rat you can try to turn him on to other physical activities. You won't have a workout partner, but you'll both be staying fit and he'll be doing something he enjoys.

Hope this all helps.

dang....you're pretty smart for a young'un......

WillDeadliftForFood
07-04-2006, 09:30 PM
dang....you're pretty smart for a young'un......

:) Thank you.