View Full Version : Anorexia - serious help please

05-10-2005, 08:11 PM
ok everyone, this is kind of a none BB topic but I really need some help. Anorexia is a pretty foriegn subject to me since I am trying to gain weight but my girlfriend has come to me tonight aand told me that she has found herself falling back into a trend of anorexia. She previosly had anorexia and Im not to sure about the factors at that time.

Ive been worried about this with her for a few weeks now but I really need help now. I need to know any information on the subject. How to help her,Questions to ask her, sites that have info for me.

She has me worried because all she ate today and yesterday were 2 crackers and a cookie. She also told me that the pains associated with hunger no longer bother her they are more of a comfort.

She is 17 and I will do anything to help even if she ends up hating me, but I need help to help her

as a side note, to anyone who knows me personally on this forum (Nate, Alex, Andrew), please don't say anything. not even to sarah nate

travis h
05-10-2005, 08:17 PM
First of all, this is NOT something you should try to fix yourself. It is also NOT something she should try to fix by herself. I commend you for your concern and your desire to help her, so help her find the right help. She needs to speak with a professional and you can certainly help her with that.

Here is a good source of general information for you: http://www.anred.com/

05-10-2005, 08:51 PM
man.. I know how it feels. I had anorexia and still sortof do (although definately not life threatening at this point. More of a pain now than anything) You need to get her help fast.. anorexia progresses quickly from experience... please, the only thing that can help her at this point is professional help. Consider inpatient treatment. This is the most efficient method of treatment, as no matter what she cannot act on her impulses. I know from experience that nothing else will do a thing, because if she has in her mind that she wants to starve herself, she will find ways to work around any other obstacles that are placed in her way (ex. hiding food, throwing it away, etc.). This is what I did when my family attempted to help. Hell, even psychiatric treatment won't do a damn thing if she doesn't let it. The ONLY thing that can save someone in an anorexic mindset is hospitalization in an inpatient facility.. Be very careful, Anorexia is an eerie disorder, and she will do whatever it takes to continue her habits until she is physically confined (once again, I am speaking from personal experience!)

PLEASE this is very serious. LISTEN TO WHAT I SAID PLEASE!!

05-10-2005, 08:52 PM
one question, what state do you live in (if US Resident)? I can help find a treatment facility in your area.

05-10-2005, 09:02 PM
i really want to say something mean, but i won't cos it's not cool....

Anyway, tell her if she doesn't eat, her stomach will swell with gas and get chubby, and her cheeks will get chubby. Almost all anorexic girls have that.

05-10-2005, 09:22 PM
Seek professional help but in the mean time, perhaps you should read and study some nutrition articles on bb.com and then print em off and highlight the most important parts and get her to read them or something... make her realize that she can eat and be beautiful. Like, there are some female fitness models, and show her what they eat.

05-10-2005, 09:23 PM
Seek professional help but in the mean time, perhaps you should read and study some nutrition articles on bb.com and then print em off and highlight the most important parts and get her to read them or something... make her realize that she can eat and be beautiful. Like, there are some female fitness models, and show her what they eat.

Yes, show her REAL diets that fitness models eat. If she sees that they eat food maybe she can get it through her head and do the same thing.....

05-10-2005, 09:26 PM
that's a serious "Eating Disorder" at www.webmd.com and www.emedicine.com you can find info.

05-11-2005, 12:14 AM
Man thats serious...

First of all bear in mind that usually anorexia goes hand in hand with a usualy profound personality disorder. Histrionic, borderline whatnot.

In most cases the self image of the anorexic is very very low, even if he/she doesnt show that. For excample most anorexic pride the fact that they are thin and beautifull and can wear anything they like, but thats a denial defence mechanism, a pablick persona if you like. In truth they believe to be fat, disformed, stupid, hated by everybody. In that accord under no i reapeat *NO* circumstances follow skell's advice (sorry mate:p). *Do not* insult or threaten her, she will just turn up a wall of defence against you and then you lost the game.

Then go to a psyciatrist. *NOT* psychologist, there is the posibility tha she will benifit tremendously from some form of andidepresant medication, most mild cases do and in the long run along with some form of psychotherapy (cognitive-behaviouralist in most cases) she will come to control it

What is tough with most anorexics is the fact that they cannot identify the fact that they have a problem. They thing that we either dont know what we are talking about, or believe us to be naturaly lean and beautifull while she has to strive for it (lol as if). What you need to do is be friendly and supportive, make her understand that she sould cunsalt a doctor. Understanding the problem before it gets of hand is very important.

Perhaps you could say you are worried that she eats too little and being a bodybuilder yourself think that she will be hurting her body (hormonal deficiencies etc) or that while she is beautifull and you love her she sould eat a bit more in order to be able to attain her athletic status (explain the benifits of food and the like). As time goes by and she accepts those facts tell her she sould see a doctor.

Good luck mate, have patience....

05-11-2005, 03:13 AM
Eating the right foods, and knowing which ones to avoid has made probably the biggest difference for me. As for your girlfriend's problem, let me try to understand something here. She's trying to get thin and doesn't eat enough to kick her metabolism into high gear, let alone to even turn it on? She's stopped feeling hunger? Man, she's way off; she's already plateaued. Besides, crackers and a cookie give way more energy than they require to digest. That's added poundage right there when her body is in starvation mode. I bet she doesn't sleep very well either (more added poundage due to too much cortisol). Tell her to find a pro-ana website with some tips and tricks. I could recommend a few. Just kidding. :)

Sorry, I'm just trying to lighten the mood. I too have had bouts with anorexia and ED-NOS. I'm 5' 7" and when I got all the way down to 115 a few years ago, which is considered anorexic by those BMI websites, I really liked what I saw. I knew it wasn't healthy but I didn't care. People said I looked like a scarecrow etc.

I've yo-yoed up and down a few times since then and I'm currently about 10 pounds above that anorexic weight but I'm trying to bulk right now. I've recently shifted my energy and focused on eating healthy and lifting and it's paying off. Maybe you could convince your girlfriend that she could do the same. I'm sure she's afraid of getting bigger, but I can tell you I'm a guy and I'm not visibly bigger... yet. I'm not cutting so the fat has remained about the same, but it has been very worth it for the other benefits. Well, my arms are just starting to look bigger, but I've spent more time on them than the rest of me. Anyway, I bet once I cut, I'll look a lot better than I did at my lowest weight.

05-11-2005, 07:02 AM
First off thank you everyone for all of the info.

cobain: we live in ontario canada

Im starting to understand her mindset but Im confused because every site I have seen says that they starve themselves because they want to lose weight. This has never been a characteristic that she has shown. She has loved her body. She has also tried to eat like me. she wanted to do that to be supportive of my BB.

Again thanks for the help and I have realized that I can't help her on my own sob I am going to go talk to her parents which sucks because don't want me dating her because I am 20.

But I will try and keep you up dated and any other help will be greatly appreciated

05-11-2005, 11:52 AM
Good Luck mate, i think talking to her parents if the correct thing to even if she gets upset with you over the issue. Remember you are doing 100% the correct thing, dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

05-11-2005, 02:57 PM
wow, maybe you should think about getting out of that relationship...chick has issues.

05-11-2005, 03:25 PM
Here is a sample meal plan of one of the featured women on bodybuilding.com,
"Brenda Kelly"