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View Full Version : If You Were Dictator of the USA



NoLimitNST
04-25-2004, 08:54 PM
If I were famous, which i soon will be, i would do whatever the hell i wanted to do. i would speak out against PETA activists and make them help hunters catch animals, i would have the armed forced break into the homes of vegetarians with buckets of meat and force them to eat it, i would release everyone in prison on the condition they beat up any nerd they see on the street ... and i would rename the USA "T.Y.S.O.N." and have Mike Tyson propaganda EVERYWHERE, Mike Tyson billboards on every street, Mike Tyson posters on bus stops, Mike Tyson stop signs, Mike Tyson icecream, Mike Tyson computers, Mike Tyson candles, Mike Tyson toilets, Mike Tyson defense security networks, Mike Tyson everywhere. Nothing will be on cable TV except for Mike Tyson fights on 10 channels, Tyson 1 2 3 4 5 Showtime, Fornication, Eat Your Children Channel, Praise be to Allah channel, and "I broke my back but im still fighting" channel.

i would also do good things, like give tax money in cash to Mike Tyson fans, build houses for Mike Tyson fans and on and on. what would u do?

-TC-
04-25-2004, 09:00 PM
there is no dictator in the usa

LethalOnGuitarZ
04-25-2004, 11:05 PM
Originally posted by NoLimitNST
If I were famous, which i soon will be, i would do whatever the hell i wanted to do. i would speak out against PETA activists and make them help hunters catch animals, i would have the armed forced break into the homes of vegetarians with buckets of meat and force them to eat it, i would release everyone in prison on the condition they beat up any nerd they see on the street ... and i would rename the USA "T.Y.S.O.N." and have Mike Tyson propaganda EVERYWHERE, Mike Tyson billboards on every street, Mike Tyson posters on bus stops, Mike Tyson stop signs, Mike Tyson icecream, Mike Tyson computers, Mike Tyson candles, Mike Tyson toilets, Mike Tyson defense security networks, Mike Tyson everywhere. Nothing will be on cable TV except for Mike Tyson fights on 10 channels, Tyson 1 2 3 4 5 Showtime, Fornication, Eat Your Children Channel, Praise be to Allah channel, and "I broke my back but im still fighting" channel.

i would also do good things, like give tax money in cash to Mike Tyson fans, build houses for Mike Tyson fans and on and on. what would u do?
If I was dictator of the USA, I'd make sure you weren't ever able to be dictator of the USA. :D

Willie_Bosket
04-26-2004, 01:51 AM
If I were dictator of the USA, my coup de tat would involve murdering George Dubya and the rest of those mofo's.
Then I would have a threesome with Bush's daughters.

bobo_007
04-26-2004, 01:00 PM
id be called george bush

CerealKiller
04-26-2004, 01:05 PM
Behead all Mike Tyson fans and steal their cable.

The Kurgan
04-26-2004, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by -TC-
there is no dictator in the usa

Give yourselves 20 years, and oil crisis and a 3rd and 4rth world war, and I'm sure you'll do just as well as Soviet Russia and Nazi Germany. It's always dangerous to say "this could never happen here." Reality is always distant until it hits you.

15u
04-26-2004, 04:18 PM
Originally posted by LethalOnGuitarZ
If I was dictator of the USA, I'd make sure you weren't ever able to be dictator of the USA. :D

you beat me to it.

supergarr
04-26-2004, 05:04 PM
Whats with the tyson crap?

If i was in charge, all ugly women would be jailed. Fat women would be banned from going to the beach. Snobby bratty kids can be beaten/killed at will (against the law to be uptight). Um thats all i would change.

Ak47
04-26-2004, 05:12 PM
Becoming dictator would be hard work. It may even take years in such an influential country, but id make it work. I would start by getting connections in the supreme court, you know, invite them to keggers and strip joints and such, until they trust and love me. Then I would become friends with the governor of california, or new york, or texas, or florida, and then i would concoct a huge scheme to take over the election, nevermind if its illegal, because by the time it would be found out, i would be dictator and there would be nothing anyone could do about it. Since I'm no political expert, i would make sure to surround myself with people who were, and make sure that they were interested in money and power just as much as i was. Since being dictator is a dangerous business, i would sign outrageous bills for the government to moniter people (you can never know just who is plotting against you) and i would call it the Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act (you know just another fancy name). Then I would give tax benifits and sign bills left and right giving more power to huge corporations and conglomerets (just to get the rich and powerful on my side, you can never have to many rich friends), i would just take money from poor and middle class families and libraries to make up the difference. If worse came to worse, i would dig up Americas final remaining wildlife preserves to feed these corporations large appetite for power. I would then have succeeded in taking over America. Just to keep the public interested in me, i would start little wars here and there, nevermind why. Then if these wars werent going over to well, i would just distract my nieve followers with other "major" issues, like homosexuals and steroids and porn. This could tide them over for 4, maybe even 8 years, then i could retire with all my new wealth and connections on my ranch, which i secretly spent time "polishing up" while i was "leading" the country.

Damn, looks like someone beat me to it...

Ak47
04-26-2004, 05:13 PM
Originally posted by supergarr
all ugly women would be jailed. Fat women would be banned from going to the beach. Snobby bratty kids can be beaten/killed at will

anyone else see this as a little ironic...?

BIONIC MAN
04-26-2004, 06:16 PM
Originally posted by NoLimitNST
If I were famous, which i soon will be, i would do whatever the hell i wanted to do. i would speak out against PETA activists and make them help hunters catch animals, i would have the armed forced break into the homes of vegetarians with buckets of meat and force them to eat it, i would release everyone in prison on the condition they beat up any nerd they see on the street ... and i would rename the USA "T.Y.S.O.N." and have Mike Tyson propaganda EVERYWHERE, Mike Tyson billboards on every street, Mike Tyson posters on bus stops, Mike Tyson stop signs, Mike Tyson icecream, Mike Tyson computers, Mike Tyson candles, Mike Tyson toilets, Mike Tyson defense security networks, Mike Tyson everywhere. Nothing will be on cable TV except for Mike Tyson fights on 10 channels, Tyson 1 2 3 4 5 Showtime, Fornication, Eat Your Children Channel, Praise be to Allah channel, and "I broke my back but im still fighting" channel.

i would also do good things, like give tax money in cash to Mike Tyson fans, build houses for Mike Tyson fans and on and on. what would u do? I WOULD put mike tyson in solitary confinement with you , then put it on the comedy channel.

clemsonsenior
04-26-2004, 06:19 PM
I'd put some form of radiation beam in the entrance to the welfare office to sterilize them all.

Bionik
04-26-2004, 07:48 PM
I would probably do something like what Ak47 suggested -- except i would be more militant.

(given I had no option but dictatorship)