View Full Version : CAP Alert, the funniest website ever!

04-23-2004, 02:22 PM
CAP Alert (http://www.capalert.com/) is well known (not really) for its movie reviews, which might think are sarcastic at first glance, but are said in all seriousness.

You may think Spirited Away is a great movie of a child's love for others, CAP disagrees... For a little example, here is what they found wrong with it.

Wanton Violence/Crime (W):

a boy forcing a berry into the mouth of a little girl
danger of a fall from great heights
bounding disembodied heads
consumption of characters by another
potentially lethal risk-taking by a child to rescue someone
threat to kill
threats of harm
threat to child, repeatedly
great fall stopped by witchcraft

Impudence/Hate (I)(1):

adolescent sass to parents
little girl running off alone in a strange place and mom/dad letting her

Sex/Homosexuality (S):

obvious focus on human nudity using a baby's posterior as the vehicle, repeatedly

Drugs/Alcohol (D):

"Saki is on the house"

Offense to God (O)(2):

shrines for spirits
apparitions, many, repeatedly
mother/father changing into pigs
little girl turning transparent
bird with human head (witch)
"In the name of wind and water within thee, unbind her. Get up!"
spell mumbo jumbo and spell casting repeatedly
magic to manipulate others (control, threaten, change)
thought casting
unholy manifestations, e.g., levitation for sinister/evil purposes, repeatedly
threats by unholy force, repeatedly
shape-shifting, repeatedly
magic to manufacture
presence of witch, repeatedly, humbling the practitioner occasionally for effect

Murder/Suicide (M)(3):

none noted

But their movie reviews aren't the only funny things, don't forget their awesome articles like...
Blatant Media Bias CBS' Pro-"Gay" Bias: Marketing Homosexuality to America

:D I highly reccommend you read through some of their movie reviews of your favorite films, there is a 90% guarantee that it got a red flag and offends God. :D

04-23-2004, 02:46 PM