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kmac12
04-08-2004, 10:32 AM
The Ant and the Grasshopper

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of! the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a
country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation
suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the
ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

Cogar
04-08-2004, 10:43 AM
That is a good story. :D

FFactory
04-08-2004, 10:50 AM
Good Story! :D

luciferchrist
04-08-2004, 10:52 AM
Originally posted by kmac12
The Ant and the Grasshopper

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of! the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a
country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation
suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the
ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican


continued

Then the ants gain political power again and start imposing their beliefs on all the other insects.

all spiders are condemned as "hate mongers" by Bill orielly.

The ants start imposing their beliefs unto the community and passing laws allowing the home of any insect to be invaded without due process of law.

One sect of spiders began attacking the ants, in turn the ants pass laws restricting even more freedoms and use it as an excuse to eliminate all oponents to their campaign.

Soon all the other insects are living in a totalitarian state as more draconian legislation is passed with the premise "we are fighting the war on terrorism!"

The worker ants get pissed thier supplements are being taken away from them by the HAIC (Head Ants In Charge)

country turns into a bunch of pussies, as meat is banned because it contains the dangerous steroid "creatine"

Every insect is forced to live a life under the beliefs of the HAIC.

The insects who oppose are called "unamerican" and "terrorist" and "evil".

Revolt begins when the ants decide to ammend the constitution allowing church and state to be unified.

The exterminators (other countries) comes in and kills all the insects with WMD (pesticide) because the state is so corrupted nobody is able to protect themselves.


Now only a few ants remain and they rebuild their country on the princinples it was founded on. Individual liberty and equal human rights....

Moral of the story

vote libertarian

EDIT sorry for the lame parody, I couldn't resist.

Cogar
04-08-2004, 10:57 AM
Originally posted by luciferchrist

The worker ants get pissed thier supplements are being taken away from them by the HAIC (Head Ants In Charge)
LOL.

kmac12
04-08-2004, 10:59 AM
Originally posted by luciferchrist
continued

Then the ants gain political power again and start imposing their beliefs on all the other insects.

all spiders are condemned as "hate mongers" by Bill orielly.

The ants start imposing their beliefs unto the community and passing laws allowing the home of any insect to be invaded without due process of law.

One sect of spiders began attacking the ants, in turn the ants pass laws restricting even more freedoms and use it as an excuse to eliminate all oponents to their campaign.

Soon all the other insects are living in a totalitarian state as more draconian legislation is passed with the premise "we are fighting the war on terrorism!"

The worker ants get pissed thier supplements are being taken away from them by the HAIC (Head Ants In Charge)

Every insect is forced to live a life under the beliefs of the HAIC.

The insects who oppose are called "unamerican" and "terrorist" and "evil".

Revolt begins when the ants decide to ammend the constitution allowing church and state to be unified.

The exterminators (other countries) comes in and kills all the insects with WMD (pesticide) because the state is so corrupted nobody is able to protect themselves.


Now only a few ants remain and they rebuild their country on the princinples it was founded on. Individual liberty and equal human rights....

Moral of the story

vote libertarian

EDIT sorry for the lame parody, I couldn't resist.

Haha....good continuation....very creative!

I still say vote republican though ;)

luciferchrist
04-08-2004, 11:00 AM
Originally posted by kmac12
Haha....good continuation....very creative!

I still say vote republican though ;)

dammit :mad:


:D

Throwback
04-08-2004, 11:00 AM
This has been proven a relative analogy because of the growing # of top wage earners who have been thrown out on the streets, and are eating in soup kitchens because of their overwhelming tax burden, while the former homeless society is now living it up and using the massive ammount of tax dollars to buy crack cocain. Because that's where all of the excess tax revenue go's right? Straight to the lazy unemployed welfare society ...

Comedy is funny because it mocks truth, your analogy fails to ammuse me because it paints the same grim picture that Republicans often paint ... we are over taxed ... we can't live a lavish lifestyle because we have to support all these lazy welfare recipients ... cry me a F@#&ing river.

The rich aren't going hungry, yes they have to absorb more tax burden so that we have revenue for supporting education, healthcare, our environment .... all of which add to the well being of everyone but take 2nd place to Republicans saving an additional 4% of their income.

Paying a debt. to a government that grants you the very opportunity to acheive great success is reasonable. I hate paying taxes too, but I realize that when we cut taxes too much important public investments are sacrificed.

Of course, if we can afford to cut taxes the top % should be the first to get the break ... i just don't think we can afford huge deficits and the Bush tax cut was just a little too much.

.... sorry to ruin your joke with my political ranting.

kmac12
04-08-2004, 11:11 AM
Originally posted by Throwback
Comedy is funny because it mocks truth, your analogy fails to ammuse me because it paints the same grim picture that Republicans often paint ... we are over taxed ... we can't live a lavish lifestyle because we have to support all these lazy welfare recipients ... cry me a F@#&ing river.
.... sorry to ruin your joke with my political ranting.

I am sorry that it didn't amuse you.

Its just a joke though.

I laugh at George Carlin all the time, but I do not agree with 99% of his beliefs.

kmac12
04-08-2004, 11:13 AM
Does the bush monkey face help even things out now?

luciferchrist
04-08-2004, 11:20 AM
Originally posted by Throwback

The rich aren't going hungry, yes they have to absorb more tax burden so that we have revenue for supporting education, healthcare, our environment .... all of which add to the well being of everyone but take 2nd place to Republicans saving an additional 4% of their income.

Paying a debt. to a government that grants you the very opportunity to acheive great success is reasonable. I hate paying taxes too, but I realize that when we cut taxes too much important public investments are sacrificed.

Of course, if we can afford to cut taxes the top % should be the first to get the break ... i just don't think we can afford huge deficits and the Bush tax cut was just a little too much.

.... sorry to ruin your joke with my political ranting.


bull****.
The taxes that get jacked from us are going to a ****ty educational system. We all pay school taxes, yet the public school (especially in urban areas) is a joke.

Most of us never even see our SS money, meanwhile if the same amount was put in a mutual fund we could all retire millionares.

So now we have a country filled with millionares that are nearing death, what happens with all that money? They give it to children, buy homes, buy Cadillacs and Summer homes. Economy goes up and more people get jobs, since more people have money to spend on goods and services.

how many times have we seen government sponsored road work (expecially here in NYS) where no work gets done? They put up a ****load of cones and employee workers who dont work. Every day these rented cones are set up across the highways for no reason, and 1 person is digging a hole 10 miles down the road while 10 other people are smoking joints, guess what....more TAX MONEY!!

What has Bush done to save the environment?

The medicare system is a failure.

We give billions of dollars to foriegn countries and lazy looters that spend their welfare checks on crack.

CHANGE-NY reported in the late 90s (I believe) a single mother with two children recieves around 28000 a year from government aid. This eqautes to roughly 44,000 dollars a year if it was gross pay from a real job. Meanwhile a rocket scientists average salary fresh out of college is >40000.

How about all these ****ty laws that are imposing the majorities beliefs on me? I cant smoke weed in my home, marry another man (not gay, just proving a point), listen to the radio without hearing overly censored music, or see tits on cable tv.

I am not paying a debt, I am having my money STOLEN from me to support failures. :mad:

Throwback
04-08-2004, 12:00 PM
bull****.
The taxes that get jacked from us are going to a ****ty educational system. We all pay school taxes, yet the public school (especially in urban areas) is a joke.


The school systems are a joke because they are under-funded. That is the point, your tax revenue isn't going towards education ... after the Bush tax cuts more money was pulled from education.

Most of us never even see our SS money, meanwhile if the same amount was put in a mutual fund we could all retire millionares.

So start investing. The lack of SS money is due to an increase in population referred to as the baby boomer generation. After Clinton we had a surplus that could have been used to save social security, and convert to a privatized account for those who would never see SS$. That was Paul O'neil and Alan Greenspans plan they attempted to impose but the Neocon ideologs brushed it aside .. all they care about are tax cuts and increasing market investment capital.


So now we have a country filled with millionares that are nearing death, what happens with all that money? They give it to children, buy homes, buy Cadillacs and Summer homes. Economy goes up and more people get jobs, since more people have money to spend on goods and services.

If you want to increase product demand, you will have to find a way to put money into the middle class, not the upper class. The upper class will put their money into private investment which will drive the markets. The problem is that only 50% of people own any stock in this country, so market increase doesnt = economic benefits for everyone. And as we have seen these tax cuts have NOT created jobs even though large ammounts of capital have been put back into the hands of the rich.


how many times have we seen government sponsored road work (expecially here in NYS) where no work gets done? They put up a ****load of cones and employee workers who dont work. Every day these rented cones are set up across the highways for no reason, and 1 person is digging a hole 10 miles down the road while 10 other people are smoking joints, guess what....more TAX MONEY!!

What is your solution? We eliminate state highway? Our highway system HAS to be paid for by govt. ... people aren't going to go volunteer to blacktop I70 on their own free time. If you want to solve such problems, something has to be done about productivity, not taking tax$ away from public investment. Tell me how taking money out of education and state infrastructure helps us...........???


What has Bush done to save the environment?
The medicare system is a failure.
We give billions of dollars to foriegn countries and lazy looters that spend their welfare checks on crack.

That is my point, Bush hasnt done **** for the environment, or healthcare. He has pulled money out of environmental research and healthcare by passing tax cuts. And America ranks one of the lowest among wealthy countries on foreign aid money as a % of GDP. The problem in Africa is an example, those people arent dying by the millions because they are lazy ... they are born into proverty, their water system is speading disease and killing them, they dont have decent hospitals because their is no money to build them, and their is not education system because their is no money. Govt. funded programs to create a decent health sytem, and educational programs is where you have to start when it comes to modernizing and creating long term economic solutions. The same go's for here ... educating our people will have more economic benefits in the long run than creating investment capital for the rich.


How about all these ****ty laws that are imposing the majorities beliefs on me? I cant smoke weed in my home, marry another man (not gay, just proving a point), listen to the radio without hearing overly censored music, or see tits on cable tv.

How does this go against any of my non-Republican post? I never even mentioned any of the afore mentioned liberties, but I somewhat agree with what you are saying here ... although a line has to be drawn somewhere.


I am not paying a debt, I am having my money STOLEN from me to support failures.

If you didnt live in America, under a democracy which gives you a system of free enterprise, you WOULD NOT HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SUCCEED that you do in this system. Show me a country that doesnt pay taxes that has a healthy economic foundation? Quit bitching about paying taxes ... yes some of the money is wasted, but much of it is put to good use. I suppose you think having an army is useless? Having state highways are useless? Having any public education is useless? give me a break .. are you sure you aren't from Canada?