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View Full Version : Oldest son Dan is moving back home this weekend....



beachguy498
06-27-2014, 12:21 PM
... along with his really nice girlfriend. This girl is just super, pretty, smart and extremely good for him. I can recognize a one-in-a-million girl when I see one.

They were living in Jersey City Heights in NJ, he was doing restaurant work in Hoboken and she is a cosmetologist working in NYC. She can still commute from our house on Long Island easily enough. My son can grab hours at his old custodial job and I can find him machine shop work with no problem.

It will be nice to have him back, they were both struggling with a place to live over there and not happy about it. Plus the stress with the loss of a mother had a big impact on him. So they'll be able to regroup at their leisure and save up some money. I'm so happy to have them both back. He came home just before, grabbed mom's SUV and is going back to pack up.

Oceanside
06-27-2014, 12:28 PM
I hope the extra company will help ya with this transition....

sounds like it will :)

beachguy498
06-27-2014, 12:39 PM
I hope the extra company will help ya with this transition.... sounds like it will :)

I'm so psyched. They're both good kids and they need a break and I have the room. They both like to cook which I haven't been doing so well myself. Now I have to go grocery shopping. :)

poundXpound
06-27-2014, 01:16 PM
Ditto OS's sentiments.

mcbourque
06-27-2014, 01:31 PM
That sounds like a really nice and positive move for all of you. Good luck getting ready for them :)

beachguy498
06-27-2014, 01:47 PM
That sounds like a really nice and positive move for all of you. Good luck getting ready for them :)

Thanks, the house is turned inside-out anyway so what's a little more confusion? I'm on such an emotional roller coaster and this is very good news.

lynore
06-27-2014, 01:59 PM
Sounds great!! You'll have company and they like to cook. Perfect.

Good luck to everyone.

latebloomingmom
06-27-2014, 02:04 PM
I think that is fantastic
good for you guys :)

paolo59
06-27-2014, 03:00 PM
Sounds like a good thing, especially at this time. Having family close (family that is a blessing ~ ha) is a wonderful thing when you've gone through what you have. Here's to strength, encouragement, and good company! :) And being a blessing to someone is always a plus.

V-240
06-27-2014, 03:19 PM
Awesome, sounds like a good move.

crupiea
06-27-2014, 09:35 PM
God for you. It will be nice to have some family around.

I had something similar happen when my adult son and gf moved in. It was nice but something to watch for is after they moved in they slowly started trying to move me out.

Maybe not physically but they slowly started taking over the whole house, sort of like an animal would piss on the stuff thats their territory.

I was cool about it but it eventually got worse over time until we finally have a rather rough parting of ways.

Not that this will happen but make sure you are the one pissing on all the corners of your territory.

beachguy498
06-28-2014, 06:34 AM
Good for you. It will be nice to have some family around.

I had something similar happen when my adult son and gf moved in. It was nice but something to watch for is after they moved in they slowly started trying to move me out.

Maybe not physically but they slowly started taking over the whole house, sort of like an animal would piss on the stuff thats their territory.

I was cool about it but it eventually got worse over time until we finally have a rather rough parting of ways.

Not that this will happen but make sure you are the one pissing on all the corners of your territory.

If they can make the payments and keep the house up, I'll gladly move out. They've both stayed with us before so I know what to expect. I think that the benefits out weigh anything negative.

KRANE
06-28-2014, 01:54 PM
That sounds like a really nice and positive move for all of you. Good luck getting ready for them :)No it isn't. First, they're not married which mean no legal obligations or commitment and potentially awkward situation all around.

Right now, what's his is his, and what's hers is hers. And although you may know your son, what do you know of what she is like? She may be very agreeable or she may be your total opposite, a nightmare in fact. And may want to do say and change things that you object to. What happens then? What happens when there's a choice between what she wants and what you want? In a marriage that's clear. In a relationship, not so clear.

Second, is there a plan? He's on hard times and moves back home. Fine, that's what family is for. But you have to have a plan, i.e. education, job search, saving money, etc.

Whatever it is, there has to be goals established, a clear understanding of that goal, and an end date. Without that, things will eventually spiral out of control and end up with less independence and harmony than when it all began.

djflex
06-28-2014, 02:04 PM
Enjoy your extra time with your son man.

Keith5x5
06-28-2014, 05:56 PM
This is the now and future of America.

Here in suburban Tampa, every homes has 5 cars in driveway because young adults have to live at home longer than they want to.

So you live on Long Island? Oh man. You and your family better be careful. There are so many shootings in Suffolk County. Dangerous.

KRANE
06-28-2014, 06:10 PM
This is the now and future of America.

Here in suburban Tampa, every homes has 5 cars in driveway because young adults have to live at home longer than they want to.Oh its a lot more widespread than that. When the hosing bubble burst there were middle aged kids moving in their entire families with their elderly parents. There were millions of these. The crisis was a lot worse then a lot of people know about.

Things are getting better now that people have gotten a chance to be re-educated/trained (myself included) and are finding new jobs. The tech schools and colleges were full of middle-aged students at one time. It was really quite the experience. But we still have a long way to go.

MiamiSpartan
06-29-2014, 08:11 PM
The company will be good for you...it's great that this has worked out!

beachguy498
06-30-2014, 05:11 AM
My son needs to get a real job, so this will give him the time. He picks up enough work to keep busy right now, his gf is okay with the LIRR commute (strike pending on 7/20...) to her job so far. I have to get his car registered probably next week. They're good to have around and they have both stayed with us for a month before this.

Firminator4
06-30-2014, 07:42 AM
That's great for all of you. I imagine that the company will help you a lot. You have all been through so much lately. Plus to me, that is what family is all about. Taking care of each other.

beachguy498
06-30-2014, 07:47 AM
That's great for all of you. I imagine that the company will help you a lot. You have all been through so much lately. Plus to me, that is what family is all about. Taking care of each other.

Thanks. I was Barbara's care giver since she was sick, so I guess I'm still in The Taking Care of People mode. A little noise and commotion around the house is very welcome right now. I have the ways and means to get these kids back on track so I'm going to give it all my best.

jeffaus
06-30-2014, 07:51 AM
Best of luck to you Rob. Im sure you will enjoy the company of family and having your son around should help both of you cope with your loss.

beachguy498
06-30-2014, 11:11 AM
Best of luck to you Rob. Im sure you will enjoy the company of family and having your son around should help both of you cope with your loss.

Thanks, like I said, he's a good kid and feeling really bad right now, so we have sort of pulled together. We all need each other. My wife had a nice relationship with his girlfriend and she was a good judge of character. Dan has picked up some work on an film crew in NYC, we'll see how long that goes on for. But that's his thing and he likes doing it.