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View Full Version : Attention American warmongers!



ArchAngel'73
06-04-2014, 09:37 PM
It has come to my attention as your neighbour that you have sat on your a$$ far too long on the defensive.
You wait for sh*t to happen and then react.
That's no way to run an empire.
You should be proactive.

Since a war up your Northern border would cost way too many lives and the entire world (including Putin) would wreck ur azz if you invaded the much beloved Canada I propose new targets.


This here is a map of the Americas;
http://i.imgur.com/VqwblCQ.jpg

As we can see here some long time enemies of the United States of Amurica stand alone and able to offer little resistance.

I propose this line of attack (as so beautifully artistically rendered by myself);
http://i.imgur.com/OF6IeL3.jpg?1



#1 Mexico- Corrupt up the yin yang, a centre for smuggling and drug production, a source of grief for all Texans, and they frequently kidnap vacationers.
It's time to avenge the Alamo once and for all and take them out.


#2 Take out all the little guys on your way to the Canal in the name of liberation.
I'm sure they won't mind much.

#3 Panama.
Y'alls did ok there the 1st time but lettuce be realty and acknowledge the economic benefit of owning the Canal.
'nuff said

#4 Columbia
x10 worse than Mexico minus the aliens.
You wanna win the war on drugs clear this sh*thole out.

#5 Ecuador, Venezuela, and Peru.
Have you seen pics of these places???
They need saving.
and just because you can.

#6 Cuba
Seriously, I cannot understand why you let Castro be a PITA for so long.
Once again it's time to finish the job.
Russia's distracted now... a quickie wham bam thank-you ma'am invasion will redeem the embarrassment that was the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

#7 All dem dur little islands are full of good folks that are chill...y'alls need to relax a bit after the mongering and Saint Kitts, Jamaica, and the rest of it are just what the Dr. ordered.



Stop at Brazil and Guyana.
Brazil's full of hawt chicks with great azzes and the poor buggers in Guyana have been through enough with the Frenchies.
plus you don't want to appear greedy and have a world war on your hands.


There you have it folks, a simple invasion plan that won't bring the Russian Bear nor the Chinese Dragon on ur bungholes and solidify your position as an empire that should not be phucked with.



Instead of taking hits and reacting show 'em what u got and open up a can of good old American azz whoopin'.

While you do that Canada will take Alaska so it will be easier for you to draw a map.






:D

so-tex
06-04-2014, 09:40 PM
Seems legit.

GuyJin
06-04-2014, 09:43 PM
I'd buy that for a dollar.

Now rep me! (And neg blow-tex)
:D

cowboybiker
06-04-2014, 09:47 PM
Cliffs?

tl; dr

so-tex
06-04-2014, 09:59 PM
Cliffs?

tl; drYou should actually read it. Even if you disagree, the Canadian douche waffle makes some good points. :p

ArchAngel'73
06-04-2014, 10:00 PM
Seems legit.

So many problems...just "poof".



I'd buy that for a dollar.

Now rep me! (And neg blow-tex)
:D

Robo-Cop FTW!

No, saving negs for Peru.



Cliffs?

tl; dr

America is gonna give Canada crabs!

ArchAngel'73
06-04-2014, 10:02 PM
You should actually read it. Even if you disagree, the Canadian douche waffle makes some good points. :p

Polar bear meat made me smawrt!

cowboybiker
06-04-2014, 10:21 PM
America is gonna give Canada crabs!

Again?

They make a shampoo for that.

ArchAngel'73
06-04-2014, 10:28 PM
They make a shampoo for that.

Quebec used all ours up!

cowboybiker
06-04-2014, 10:36 PM
Quebec used all ours up!

Only thing left to do is shave half the hair away, light other half on fire and stab the ones that try to get away.

ArchAngel'73
06-04-2014, 10:42 PM
Only thing left to do is shave half the hair away, light other half on fire and stab the ones that try to get away.

Well...
we planned on eating them.

:eek:

Keith5x5
06-04-2014, 10:45 PM
Too late. Those countries have already started invading us.