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View Full Version : Calorie Deficit - The hard way



MiklaDfar
04-28-2014, 07:59 AM
So my sister comes into down to spend the weekend with us and I decide take her for a nice dinner down by the beach. I had ate at a big enough deficit that last couple of days, I had room in the calorie count for a decent meal. So I have Blackened Grouper a couple of oysters and a few muscles along with a single beer to wash it all down. We then go for a stroll down to the beach to hang out and take a few pics. Stop at a beach side bar for a couple of drinks then head on back down the main street (Atlantic Ave in Delray Beach).

On the way back my stomach makes a noise, I feel my face go flush and I start to sweat. Reaching back in my memories the first thought that comes to mind is "this is not going to end well".

I steer my wife and sister between the tents in the middle of the street (there is a fair going on so they close the street and the tents block the views of the multiple restaurants with outdoor seating that line the street). We get about 3/4s of the way back when I spot a bench and garbage can a bit out of sight(in front of an art museum) and decide I may not make it much further.

About 3 steps from the garbage can, my body decides it can hold back no longer and up it all comes. Now I have to say, my aim was pretty darn good from that distance since it all appeared to go in... but I went on retching for a couple of minutes... the type where you have barely time to breath between episodes. But it was done and I felt great after (though needed a few napkins and water). Thinking I was set to continue our journey... I got up.

Well... needless to say, my body had not quite finished expelling whatever ailed me... so back to the garbage can... 4 more times during he course of the next hour!

Finally felt good enough to make a run for the car... I fell in the back seat and fell over while my sister drove home. Got home and made four more trips to the porcelain god before my body decided it was done coming out the top and it was the bottoms turn. After an hour of that, I made it into the shower which was interrupted a few times with a trip back to kneeling in front of and sitting on that ceramic idol.

Finally, I was done. Having weighed myself that morning, I decided to check out the weight loss results. Four pounds was magically gone... well maybe not so magical.

I am sure it was food poisoning, but have to wonder if it was my body's way of saying... "whoa there... you are watching your calories, don't pull that fine dining and drinking crap on me".

ajdahlheimer
04-28-2014, 08:58 AM
Food poisoning is the absolute worst, man. I'll take the absolute worst hangover over food poisoning any day of the week.

A few years ago, my neighbor made a huge batch of gumbo for a Super Bowl party he was having. I was actually going elsewhere, but since he had a bunch leftover--he brought some over for me after the game. I was glad, cuz he's a great cook and gumbo is awesome. Anyway, I took a bunch of it to work the next day for lunch. It tasted great. Well later on that evening, I started to feel fatigued and went to bed. Woke up and had it coming out both ends all night. And even into the next day. Turns out his gumbo didn't make anyone else sick cuz they ate it right as it was done. However, he left the pot of it out the entire Super Bowl party. Not a smart thing to do for something that has sausage, oysters, etc in it. So it must have grown bacteria and stuff during that time. I never did tell the guy it made me sick, but I know he missed work the following Tuesday as well because he was sick. Whenever I throw up, I can't speak for a couple days cuz my vocal chords get damaged. Sucks.

beachguy498
04-28-2014, 10:19 AM
I got sick a few summers ago with some onion dip that sat out in the sun. My BIL had a birthday party for his son at my house, I got there late and heated up a couple of burgers and topped them off with the dip. I had no clue it say outside in the hot sun... someone put it away inside. I got through the night, but in the morning it got me. On the bowl the whole day... luckily with me, it just takes the southern exit.

Another time, I was in town dropping off my landlady's vacuum cleaner to be fixed. I forget what I ate, but all of a sudden I'm in the shop with sweat pouring out of me and my gut sounds like 2 cats fighting. I ask to use their bathroom.. they say no. So I figure I'll go outside and around the back of the stores so I don't crap my pants. Then I realize the bar next door is open... make a bee line inside and to the bathroom. Made it by milliseconds... I stayed there until I felt I could get to my car and home.

Nothing like being as sick as a dog all of a sudden. I got sick once like that years back... had to miss a local concert.. the Ramones.

Rob

ajdahlheimer
04-28-2014, 10:26 AM
I ask to use their bathroom.. they say no.

LOL. What a bunch of a-holes.


Nothing like being as sick as a dog all of a sudden. I got sick once like that years back... had to miss a local concert.. the Ramones.


NOOOOOOOOOOOO! One of my top 3 favorite all-time bands. And they are all dead now--so impossible to see!

beachguy498
04-28-2014, 11:59 AM
LOL. What a bunch of a-holes.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! One of my top 3 favorite all-time bands. And they are all dead now--so impossible to see!

I recall falling victim to a bad tuna sandwich. The link below is the setlist for the show I missed out on.

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/ramones/1979/islip-hammerheads-long-island-ny-33d5d881.html

beachguy498
04-28-2014, 12:13 PM
If you've never seen this.. now is the time. This is the Ryan's Steakhouse incident.. you may elect to pass if you have a weak stomach.

http://danmax.net/jokes/explosive_diahhrea.htm

On a familiar note... when my dad was still alive and married to the treacherous stepmother, she used to take him anywhere to eat and he had a touch of IBS for as long as I can remember. He had a similar calamity at a bagel place that was conveniently right next to a Walmart. My wife was with them at the time and made the run for fresh clothing.

Enjoy!

ajdahlheimer
04-28-2014, 12:24 PM
I recall falling victim to a bad tuna sandwich. The link below is the setlist for the show I missed out on.

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/ramones/1979/islip-hammerheads-long-island-ny-33d5d881.html

Please tell me you got to see them later on in life?

Also, do you know if this was before/after they switched Tommy out for Marky at drummer?

cowboybiker
04-28-2014, 01:36 PM
Reminds me why I stopped dating bulimics.

UnaChispita
04-28-2014, 04:27 PM
Lol'ing at stories!

Reminds me of the time I was still in school, working my way through. No money.

Decided I needed a roommate to help with the rent.

Got contacted by a woman from China who was traveling to the US to study.

The morning of her arrival, I was hungry--no food in the fridge except some luncheon meat.

I noticed as I scarfed it down it had a slight green sheen to it...but I figured, hey, I have a gut of iron...no problem!


Let's just say as Iris came through the door and greeted me...I had to make a beeline for the bathroom...which was right next to the front door. The walls were very thin in this place.

Poor thing. It probably was a welcome she will never forget.

moneysmoney
04-29-2014, 05:12 AM
Lol'ing at stories!

Reminds me of the time I was still in school, working my way through. No money.

Decided I needed a roommate to help with the rent.

Got contacted by a woman from China who was traveling to the US to study.

The morning of her arrival, I was hungry--no food in the fridge except some luncheon meat.

I noticed as I scarfed it down it had a slight green sheen to it...but I figured, hey, I have a gut of iron...no problem!


Let's just say as Iris came through the door and greeted me...I had to make a beeline for the bathroom...which was right next to the front door. The walls were very thin in this place.

Poor thing. It probably was a welcome she will never forget.

What's your salary?

moneysmoney
04-29-2014, 05:38 AM
Reminds me why I stopped dating bulimics.

What's your salary?

moneysmoney
04-29-2014, 05:39 AM
So my sister comes into down to spend the weekend with us and I decide take her for a nice dinner down by the beach. I had ate at a big enough deficit that last couple of days, I had room in the calorie count for a decent meal. So I have Blackened Grouper a couple of oysters and a few muscles along with a single beer to wash it all down. We then go for a stroll down to the beach to hang out and take a few pics. Stop at a beach side bar for a couple of drinks then head on back down the main street (Atlantic Ave in Delray Beach).

On the way back my stomach makes a noise, I feel my face go flush and I start to sweat. Reaching back in my memories the first thought that comes to mind is "this is not going to end well".

I steer my wife and sister between the tents in the middle of the street (there is a fair going on so they close the street and the tents block the views of the multiple restaurants with outdoor seating that line the street). We get about 3/4s of the way back when I spot a bench and garbage can a bit out of sight(in front of an art museum) and decide I may not make it much further.

About 3 steps from the garbage can, my body decides it can hold back no longer and up it all comes. Now I have to say, my aim was pretty darn good from that distance since it all appeared to go in... but I went on retching for a couple of minutes... the type where you have barely time to breath between episodes. But it was done and I felt great after (though needed a few napkins and water). Thinking I was set to continue our journey... I got up.

Well... needless to say, my body had not quite finished expelling whatever ailed me... so back to the garbage can... 4 more times during he course of the next hour!

Finally felt good enough to make a run for the car... I fell in the back seat and fell over while my sister drove home. Got home and made four more trips to the porcelain god before my body decided it was done coming out the top and it was the bottoms turn. After an hour of that, I made it into the shower which was interrupted a few times with a trip back to kneeling in front of and sitting on that ceramic idol.

Finally, I was done. Having weighed myself that morning, I decided to check out the weight loss results. Four pounds was magically gone... well maybe not so magical.

I am sure it was food poisoning, but have to wonder if it was my body's way of saying... "whoa there... you are watching your calories, don't pull that fine dining and drinking crap on me".

What's your salary?

beachguy498
04-29-2014, 08:47 AM
Lol'ing at stories!

Reminds me of the time I was still in school, working my way through. No money.

Decided I needed a roommate to help with the rent.

Got contacted by a woman from China who was traveling to the US to study.

The morning of her arrival, I was hungry--no food in the fridge except some luncheon meat.

I noticed as I scarfed it down it had a slight green sheen to it...but I figured, hey, I have a gut of iron...no problem!

Let's just say as Iris came through the door and greeted me...I had to make a beeline for the bathroom...which was right next to the front door. The walls were very thin in this place.

Poor thing. It probably was a welcome she will never forget.

Did your new roomie think your name was Ralph O'Rourke?