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View Full Version : "Mama, I'm coming home!"



V-240
04-19-2014, 04:53 PM
Anyone here home caregivers for their parents? I am about to retire from my job of 32 years and move back to the house I grew up in to look after my 80 year old mom. She's pretty good now and gets around on her own without me, but she's had some health scares and I want to be in place before she really needs someone and I'd have to scramble. Dad passed years ago. :(

I figure for now I will drive her to her doctor appointments, then we go get lunch... LOL. Who knows what the future holds? No one. But the first thing I'm gonna do is get rid of her crappy cable TV and put my Dish Network in. :D

Anyone else doing this? I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with my mom.

Oceanside
04-19-2014, 05:01 PM
Anyone here home caregivers for their parents? I am about to retire from my job of 32 years and move back to the house I grew up in to look after my 80 year old mom. She's pretty good now and gets around on her own without me, but she's had some health scares and I want to be in place before she really needs someone and I'd have to scramble. Dad passed years ago. :(

I figure for now I will drive her to her doctor appointments, then we go get lunch... LOL. Who knows what the future holds? No one. But the first thing I'm gonna do is get rid of her crappy cable TV and put my Dish Network in. :D

Anyone else doing this? I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with my mom.


good on you !

I made myself available to help with my parents in the years before they passed...

my mother was a double amputee from being diabetic (died in 2002) and father had advance parkinsons and dementia (died in 2012)..

was the only son with two sisters in the area,very close to where they lived...

I definitely know the drill...

good on you for being there :)

paolo59
04-19-2014, 05:24 PM
What you are doing is a wonderful thing! Dad died 5 years ago. Mom is 86. She's about 5 hours north of me here in Dallas, and there's family around her up there in Oklahoma, but how I wish I could be close to look in on her daily.

eomrat
04-19-2014, 06:03 PM
Anyone here home caregivers for their parents? I am about to retire from my job of 32 years and move back to the house I grew up in to look after my 80 year old mom. She's pretty good now and gets around on her own without me, but she's had some health scares and I want to be in place before she really needs someone and I'd have to scramble. Dad passed years ago. :(

I figure for now I will drive her to her doctor appointments, then we go get lunch... LOL. Who knows what the future holds? No one. But the first thing I'm gonna do is get rid of her crappy cable TV and put my Dish Network in. :D

Anyone else doing this? I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with my mom.

Mad, mad respect for you for being who you are.

NorwichGrad
04-19-2014, 06:20 PM
I am very grateful I still have mom and dad.

They retired in 2008 and they moved to rural Pennsylvania from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. See, I tricked them.. I requested that after they retire to move here in PA so they can keep an eye on their grand kids. They are enjoying retirement and they love watching my kids when my wife and I go to work. But deep down, I know there will come a time when they will need my help. And I will be there for them, just like they've always been there for me and my sister and everybody else, all these years.

I love my adopted country, but one thing America sucks at big time is we don't have the family cohesion most countries have. I would love to see more of the elderly get taken care of by family members.

Good for you for doing this for your mom.

paolo59
04-19-2014, 06:28 PM
I am very grateful I still have mom and dad.

They retired in 2008 and they moved to rural Pennsylvania from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. See, I tricked them.. I requested that after they retire to move here in PA so they can keep an eye on their grand kids. They are enjoying retirement and they love watching my kids when my wife and I go to work. But deep down, I know there will come a time when they will need my help. And I will be there for them, just like they've always been there for me and my sister and everybody else, all these years.

I love my adopted country, but one thing America sucks at big time is we don't have the family cohesion most countries have. I would love to see more of the elderly get taken care of by family members.

Good for you for doing this for your mom.

I agree with you brother! Old folks need to be around young kids. And young kids need to be around older folks even more! If there's a way in the world to care for our elders in a home situation, it is much preferable!

djflex
04-19-2014, 06:33 PM
I salute you

frozensparky
04-19-2014, 06:36 PM
I hope that I am financially in a place where I can do this when the time comes. I have a lot of respect for what you are doing.

V-240
04-19-2014, 06:44 PM
Yeah, I mean, Mom's great. She's kinda like my drinking buddy, LOL! I just took her out to our favorite hofbrau where we ate big turkey dinners and drank a big pint each of high octane beer. Someday she may need more assistance and I want to be already there in place. My siblings are busy or live too far away with their families. See, I KNEW there was a reason I wanted to remain single, LOL!

The fun part is learning about all her medical equipment she uses, like oxygen tanks, CPAP/BiPAP (hell, I have one of those!), and this mosheen that extracts oxygen from the air in her bedroom and pumps it to her BiPAP at night. Then, traveling with enough oxygen for a long weekend trip, etc.

This is a big life change for both of us, but we are looking forward to it.

jeffaus
04-19-2014, 06:53 PM
Anyone here home caregivers for their parents? I am about to retire from my job of 32 years and move back to the house I grew up in to look after my 80 year old mom. She's pretty good now and gets around on her own without me, but she's had some health scares and I want to be in place before she really needs someone and I'd have to scramble. Dad passed years ago. :(

I figure for now I will drive her to her doctor appointments, then we go get lunch... LOL. Who knows what the future holds? No one. But the first thing I'm gonna do is get rid of her crappy cable TV and put my Dish Network in. :D

Anyone else doing this? I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with my mom.Huge respect for you. I moved my father in with me when my parents got old, he got dementia and my mother couldn't take care of him. My mother moved in with one of my sisters. They both passed many years ago now. It is tough sometimes, but rewarding to be able to give something back to your parents and nothing is more important than taking care of them when they cant any more.

On another note, but related, in China, its just a given that parents move in with the kids when they get older.

paolo59
04-19-2014, 11:45 PM
Yeah, I mean, Mom's great. She's kinda like my drinking buddy, LOL! I just took her out to our favorite hofbrau where we ate big turkey dinners and drank a big pint each of high octane beer. Someday she may need more assistance and I want to be already there in place. My siblings are busy or live too far away with their families. See, I KNEW there was a reason I wanted to remain single, LOL!

The fun part is learning about all her medical equipment she uses, like oxygen tanks, CPAP/BiPAP (hell, I have one of those!), and this mosheen that extracts oxygen from the air in her bedroom and pumps it to her BiPAP at night. Then, traveling with enough oxygen for a long weekend trip, etc.

This is a big life change for both of us, but we are looking forward to it.

Ha ha! My mum has never been my best drinking buddy! LOL That would be something brother! Not a good thing in my case! LMAO She has always frowned upon that sort of thing. :) But regardless. She's getting up there. And I hope to God that yours is in good health, and that you can enjoy her presence. Single, married, married with a whole house full of kids. Doesn't matter in the least! There is just something about being able to 'go home!' I don't like to think about this ugly world without those who have already lived through it! :( They have wisdom. Mine is the last of all of her siblings. When she's gone...just what will have been lost? Years of perspective.

ajdahlheimer
04-20-2014, 07:44 AM
What you're doing is admirable, OP.

GuyJin
04-20-2014, 07:47 AM
You're a good man, OP. My father passed in '85, my mother at the end of 2007. Not a day goes by when I don't think of them. You're doing right by your mother and that is a most noble thing.

quicksand jesus
04-20-2014, 09:45 AM
Anyone here home caregivers for their parents? I am about to retire from my job of 32 years and move back to the house I grew up in to look after my 80 year old mom. She's pretty good now and gets around on her own without me, but she's had some health scares and I want to be in place before she really needs someone and I'd have to scramble. Dad passed years ago. :(

I figure for now I will drive her to her doctor appointments, then we go get lunch... LOL. Who knows what the future holds? No one. But the first thing I'm gonna do is get rid of her crappy cable TV and put my Dish Network in. :D

Anyone else doing this? I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with my mom.

Brought my mom back my home five years ago when diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Had to hire someone to stay with her during the day after two years because she could no longer do basic things. It's definitively not easy. Every thing I do ( work,family time , vacation etc) revolves around caring for her... but it is much better than the other alternative of putting her in a nursing home!

I don't know what your exact situation is but there may be days where you say WTF? I didn't sign up for this sh*t! (I had one of those moments this morning when trying to bathe her)

Just stay strong.

bodyhard
04-20-2014, 10:06 AM
Mad props, takes a real man to do what you are doing.

Big Ups!

V-240
04-20-2014, 02:34 PM
Yesterday she promised to remain "spry" until she's 100, lol!!!!

Frnkd
04-20-2014, 07:44 PM
Interesting that you posted this because my wife just signed the paper work to retire from teaching just for that reason, she actually just made 30 years.

Her brother,who lives with her dad, called the other week saying that dad couldn't get up. He called 911. Seems he had a pinched nerve caused by coughing too hard.

90 yrs old, weak bones or something like that. Anyway my wife felt bad that her brother was feeling lost with this turn of events in her dads life, he's not married and cannot take off to care for his dad. This prompted my wife's decision. They will make arrangements with a home care provider in the mean time.

Last day for work will be mid June, in the mean time she will be taking off every Thursday, sleeping over after work on Wednesday.

My folks passed a while ago and I know what she is going through as she feels she has not been there enough as much as her brother.

So as a spouse, I have told her to not worry about me, just do what she needs to help out.

The thing that we are greatful for is that her dad is sharp as a whip.

Great post!