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Whiskeyjack
04-02-2014, 07:18 PM
Well, those of you who know me know I don't post many new threads, but over a few beer tonight I got to thinking about this one....

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Elitist Comments to Non-Bodybuilders

In 1982, I was 19. I’d been at MacNeilly Barbell Club – with its ethos of hardcore bodybuilding, powerlifting, and championships won by heavy-duty guys out of a backwoods training garage – for almost 2 years. I was 220 pounds at 5’ 8”, with 29 inch thighs, 18.5 inch arms, and a 30 inch waist, along with several powerlifting competitions behind me, lifting in the afternoons pretty respectable squats and deadlifts. I worked nights at a big roadhouse bar in eastern Canada with 9 other bouncers on any given Friday or Saturday night; today, it seems like another life. My goal was to be Mr. Olympia. I was sure I could do it, and would soon be assessed for potential by Bill Pearl in a gym seminar a year later, with positive results. As yet, I had no injuries; I was big and confident and dedicated. I was also more than a bit of a fool.

One night, I was working the door with another guy who stood about a foot taller than me; he had a beard and ‘normal’ build with a big paunch. He was probably around 35-40. I thought of him as an old man then. He wasn’t a bad guy. Over the endless roar of ‘80s music and shouting I then asked him (and these are my exact words): “HOW DO YOU BUILD A FLABBY PHYSIQUE?”

He responded with a sigh of exasperation, “Why don’t you GROW UP?”

At the time, the prevalent attitude in my gym was congruent to my view, and when I narrated the scene jestingly the next day I got laughs – on my side.

But my remark to this fellow is a thing I’ve regretted from that day to this – at age 50. I see this kind of thing on Facebook every day. I doubt very much it helps bodybuilding as a sport. I only had going for me youth and foolishness.

Have you had similar experiences? As O-35s or earlier?

so-tex
04-02-2014, 07:39 PM
I was a bouncer once in college. It was the only job I ever got fired from because I got my ass kicked! Srs though I never was/am a true bodybuilder. I was an athlete in high school, so yeah, we lifted weights occasionally (not like they do now). I had a track scholarship with a small college that I attended, but turned it down. I was thrown into the athletic dorm anyway and made friends there who would take me to a real weight room to workout. I've been working out off and on (mostly off). As far as Facebook goes, I really don't have very many friends who are bodybuilders. I hear what you're saying though. I think all of us did or said stupid sh!t when we were young. I wouldn't sweat it.

Whiskeyjack
04-02-2014, 07:43 PM
I was a bouncer once in college. It was the only job I ever got fired from because I got my ass kicked! Srs though I never was/am a true bodybuilder. I was an athlete in high school, so yeah, we lifted weights occasionally (not like they do now). I had a track scholarship with a small college that I attended, but turned it down. I was thrown into the athletic dorm anyway and made friends there who would take me to a real weight room to workout. I've been working out off and on (mostly off). As far as Facebook goes, I really don't have very many friends who are bodybuilders. I hear what you're saying though. I think all of us did or said stupid sh!t when we were young. I wouldn't sweat it.

I too got my ass kicked! I was never a tough guy. But I lucked out by not having too many challengers because I was imposing looking at that time.

Not really sweating it. Just a thing I've always remembered. We can never have too many friends, and when you're young you're pretty stupid and selective and facile. Thanks for responding.

paolo59
04-02-2014, 09:46 PM
I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the times I've said stupid (%*^ over the years! :( I think I'm getting a little better at not doing that. Others might disagree.

baker
04-03-2014, 03:26 AM
A short pudgy bald guy was talking about fitness at work one day and stated he could do ten pull-ups. I immediately called him out on it and antagonized him till he tried to prove it. When he barely got one I wasn't sure who felt worse, me for being a jerk or him for not backing up his claims.


We ended up lifting together for a while after that. He finally got his ten pull-ups after dropping a few pounds and some hard work.

drudixon
04-03-2014, 05:39 AM
Outside of making fun of fat kids in middle school, I've never really made any elitist comments to someone directly. By the time my body became halfway decent, I was mid thirties and saw no need. Fat shaming doesn't help the recipients to lose weight and it doesn't help me.

paolo59
04-03-2014, 05:52 AM
Outside of making fun of fat kids in middle school, I've never really made any elitist comments to someone directly. By the time my body became halfway decent, I was mid thirties and saw no need. Fat shaming doesn't help the recipients to lose weight and it doesn't help me.

LOL I don't believe I've ever deliberately made a disparaging comment along those lines either, concerning someone's physique. But there are so many other opportunities to say stupid things that have absolutely nothing to do with bodybuilding or how someone looks or what they can lift. At least 5 or 6 a day! :)

Juggertha
04-03-2014, 06:16 AM
I remember something similar.

Worked out at a hard core gym, and loved it. Also did the door thing. It was just how everyone rolled.

I remember there was this guy, Cam, who was around 40. Had a family and such. Never made any gains. I'd see him come train, then disappear for a week. I remember saying something like "You'll never get any size with your crap consistency". His reply was that he had a family, and that one day I'd understand that they were more important.

And here I am.


Still bigger than him!
mauahahahaha

Whiskeyjack
04-03-2014, 06:19 AM
I remember something similar.

Worked out at a hard core gym, and loved it. Also did the door thing. It was just how everyone rolled.

I remember there was this guy, Cam, who was around 40. Had a family and such. Never made any gains. I'd see him come train, then disappear for a week. I remember saying something like "You'll never get any size with your crap consistency". His reply was that he had a family, and that one day I'd understand that they were more important.

And here I am.

Still bigger than him!
mauahahahaha

Ha ha ha that's funny~!

mcbourque
04-03-2014, 06:31 AM
I had a push-up competion with a female neighbor at a party a few years ago. She had started getting back in shape but I easily won.

Then I sat on my butt for 2 years, got fat and now she's the one 20 pounds leaner, looking like a teenager and running about the block full of energy!

I got what I deserved :D

StressMonkey
04-03-2014, 06:58 AM
A short pudgy bald guy was talking about fitness at work one day and stated he could do ten pull-ups. I immediately called him out on it and antagonized him till he tried to prove it. When he barely go one I wasn't sure who felt worse, me for being a jerk or him for not backing up his claims.


We ended up lifting together for a while after that. He finally got his ten pull-ups after dropping a few pounds and some hard work.

That ended well!


I remember something similar.

Worked out at a hard core gym, and loved it. Also did the door thing. It was just how everyone rolled.

I remember there was this guy, Cam, who was around 40. Had a family and such. Never made any gains. I'd see him come train, then disappear for a week. I remember saying something like "You'll never get any size with your crap consistency". His reply was that he had a family, and that one day I'd understand that they were more important.

And here I am.


Still bigger than him!
mauahahahaha

ha ha. That is so wrong. :D

Karl_Hungus
04-03-2014, 01:35 PM
LOL I don't believe I've ever deliberately made a disparaging comment along those lines either, concerning someone's physique. But there are so many other opportunities to say stupid things that have absolutely nothing to do with bodybuilding or how someone looks or what they can lift. At least 5 or 6 a day! :)

I don't think I have either.

But, in the spirit of Whiskeyjack's post, it is funny how seemingly innocuous things stay with us for so long ... and make us feel kinda bad, disproportionate to the actual comment or act. About 20 years ago, I was a graduate student teaching a night class. One evening, I was at the university late walking back to my car with a fellow grad student and a professor. We were talking about the lame excuses students use to delay taking their final exams. Just then, a student frantically runs up to me and asks "Where is the exam? I just showed up and nobody was there!" I duly informed him that the final exam was yesterday, not today. The student begged me to take the exam right there and then. He told me that he got the days confused. Honestly, I believed him, but I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of the two people I was with...especially in light of our conversation, so I refused to let him take it. He left, looking really sad and let down. He was a good student, so I know he studied hard and was well-prepared. To this day, I still feel terrible that I did not let him take it, and that I ruined this guy's night (and grade) because I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of my friends. Seems like a little thing, but it has always stuck with me.

Oceanside
04-03-2014, 01:38 PM
But, in the spirit of Whiskeyjack's post, it is funny how seemingly innocuous things stay with us for so long ...


not if you don't have a conscience :)

Karl_Hungus
04-03-2014, 01:40 PM
not if you don't have a conscience :)

True, I will have to work on that :D

stealpulse
04-03-2014, 03:12 PM
I guess I have always had a bit of dismorphia, I never saw myself as the one setting an example to be followed. To me that role belonged to the one at the top, and that's where I was trying to be, not where I was. Now I am just comfortable with myself, and don't care to be that guy.

I did have a disdain for fat people when I was younger, to a degree that I regret because I am sure it caused me to miss out on a few possible friendships. I've gotten past that now thankfully.

I don't bring up fitness/exercise in conversation, but if people ask me questions I try to be as helpful and realistic as possible. Not that I'm an expert by any means.

I look back at the 20 year old me and shake my head. I'm sure I'll look back at this version of me in twenty years and do some more head shaking.

GuyJin
04-03-2014, 04:10 PM
...To this day, I still feel terrible that I did not let him take it, and that I ruined this guy's night (and grade) because I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of my friends. Seems like a little thing, but it has always stuck with me.
---

I iwonder if he's held it in all these years and has prepared some horrible revenge-type scenario whereby you have to take some kind of exam in order to live.
Sorta like 'Saw'...but worse.

:D

But I did catch what you meant.

steffo99
04-03-2014, 04:27 PM
The only thing I carry with me that I regret is beating up a kid just to impress some older kids.
As an adult I can't think of any real nasty comments or actions though. I am basically a saint.

Whiskeyjack
04-03-2014, 05:21 PM
I don't think I have either.

But, in the spirit of Whiskeyjack's post, it is funny how seemingly innocuous things stay with us for so long ... and make us feel kinda bad, disproportionate to the actual comment or act. About 20 years ago, I was a graduate student teaching a night class. One evening, I was at the university late walking back to my car with a fellow grad student and a professor. We were talking about the lame excuses students use to delay taking their final exams. Just then, a student frantically runs up to me and asks "Where is the exam? I just showed up and nobody was there!" I duly informed him that the final exam was yesterday, not today. The student begged me to take the exam right there and then. He told me that he got the days confused. Honestly, I believed him, but I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of the two people I was with...especially in light of our conversation, so I refused to let him take it. He left, looking really sad and let down. He was a good student, so I know he studied hard and was well-prepared. To this day, I still feel terrible that I did not let him take it, and that I ruined this guy's night (and grade) because I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of my friends. Seems like a little thing, but it has always stuck with me.

Good story!

RukusNZ
04-03-2014, 08:01 PM
Interesting thread. Very few (if any) people can honestly say they have never behaved or spoken in this way, i know i have on my own fair share of occasions. But, the thing i always try to remember is that there is only one person who is the best at any one thing, and in the same way only one person who is the worst (potentially a negative view, i know). Unless you are either of those people you sit between them. This places you in the position of potentially being both the provider and receiver at any given time, depending on who you are in contact with and where they sit on the 'scale'. All i can say is that i know how it feels to be the receiver and whilst i do fail, i try to remind myself of this and avoid beng the provider as much as i can. Off course i claim immunity from my behaviour in my high school years etc, immaturity is to blame, not me!

Jeepindoc
04-03-2014, 08:08 PM
I don't think I have either.

But, in the spirit of Whiskeyjack's post, it is funny how seemingly innocuous things stay with us for so long ... and make us feel kinda bad, disproportionate to the actual comment or act. About 20 years ago, I was a graduate student teaching a night class. One evening, I was at the university late walking back to my car with a fellow grad student and a professor. We were talking about the lame excuses students use to delay taking their final exams. Just then, a student frantically runs up to me and asks "Where is the exam? I just showed up and nobody was there!" I duly informed him that the final exam was yesterday, not today. The student begged me to take the exam right there and then. He told me that he got the days confused. Honestly, I believed him, but I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of the two people I was with...especially in light of our conversation, so I refused to let him take it. He left, looking really sad and let down. He was a good student, so I know he studied hard and was well-prepared. To this day, I still feel terrible that I did not let him take it, and that I ruined this guy's night (and grade) because I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of my friends. Seems like a little thing, but it has always stuck with me.

That's some consolation. I lost my scholarship, girlfriend left me, became addicted to meth, & now live in a van down by the river. Tell your friends "thanks."

Tmax55
04-03-2014, 08:28 PM
When I was in college my fraternities flag football team entered into tournaments all around the Midwest. We didn't always win but we sometimes did. I was a typical Midwestern meathead, not a trash talker but extremely vain.

A lot of people would come to our school from New York, Philly, or New Jersey. They tended to have a lot of money and talk a lot of trash. My sophomore year I was about 220 with 12% fat or so. We played a team with a bunch of people from the east coast. First series and the o-lineman who is supposed to block me started talking about how he was going to pancake me.

This guy was probably 5'10" maybe 200 and had no drop from his chest to his waist. It's cold we are wearing a lot of cloths but still I'm thinking he should just know from the taper from my shoulders to waist... I was our fastest player (but not quickest) I should just bull rush him but first play I ran around him untouched and got a sack.

I dont know what got into me, I never talk during a game but I said "now that we've established that its time for a physics lesson." I bull rushed him the rest of the game, must of knocked him down twenty plus times until he asked to be benched because he was hurting so bad. He actually was cut up and bruised from hitting the ground.

Since i was our fastest player i played every position on defense depending on the situation and we were killing their team so if they moved him i moved just to torment him. My own teammates were even asking me to let up on him but I wouldn't.

I said "oh easties vagina must hurt" as he was leaving the field.

My senior year I signed up for on campus interviews...and he was one of the junior people one firm brought along for the interview. It did not go well.

This guy deserved something for being an asshat, but I took asshat to a whole new level in retaliation. Karma...

TnRob
04-03-2014, 08:55 PM
For me personally, I was the fat kid from an early age. Always got my ass kicked simply for saying whatever it took to take up for myself. Always got bullied. Back then I always thought the other kids were complete lowlifes with no self respect for others.

Today at age 50, I am way beyond the early fat kid days. Have lived a solid respectable life with a better than average build for 35 plus years. Git into bodybuilding/power lifting at age 17. Various forms of martial arts at 16. MMA from 28 to present. And now at my age, I still think of those kind of people the same as I did back then.

I was taught respect for others and respect for myself. Never downgraded others for any reason.

Whiskeyjack
04-04-2014, 05:58 AM
Pretty good responses. It shows the variety of experiences we've all had. In fact, in the years before I got into bodybuilding, I was also bullied; my first day @ MacNeilly they weighed me at 122lbs. It was bullying which led me to get into it. So yes, was the receiver and giver, but in both immediate and longer term hindsight I hated any things I said to make people feel bad, and hated it when it was done to me.