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View Full Version : The Texas and USC jobs will soon be open



wildchild11
09-11-2013, 10:06 AM
I'm guessing Kirby Smart, Pat Fitzgerald, are the 2 biggest choices

sdballer5588
09-11-2013, 10:09 AM
Good luck with your application OP, I can tell by your storied post history that you will lead these programs to great prominence based on how easy you have assured me it will be.


I look forward to your induction speech!

wildchild11
09-11-2013, 10:19 AM
Good luck with your application OP, I can tell by your storied post history that you will lead these programs to great prominence based on how easy you have assured me it will be.


I look forward to your induction speech!

nikka if i was hired like a job like that id bring and staff the whole sports misc crew.
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/429/265/bff.gif

sdballer5588
09-11-2013, 10:24 AM
I look forward to being the strength and conditioning coach.

I promise to find you new and exciting ways to keep our athletes as far away from game shape as possible. I will stop at nothing. No expense will be spared.

Benching? Who has time for that
Squatting? Leg day = worst day
Sprints? No thanks jeffrey that could cause unnecessary sweating.

I will put our recruits through what I am calling the "Ice Cream Eating Decathlon" (Or ICED if you will) 10 events of mind numbing (quite literally, this will be a cold eating event) ice cream gorging. We will focus on the 3 key flavors (vanilla chocolate and strawberry) and move on to other variations of "helado" (that is spanish for ice cream) throughout the season.

You will be startled by our athletes total lack of athletic competency and lack of progression. Hell, we may even regress a little bit.

With several key training implementations I will make sure every recruit is "ICED" to the point of never playing a meaningful minute in college or otherwise. I will have your athletes so out of shape you will regret the moment you ever hired me.


We will run Texas into the ground, but we will do it the right way.

And that is why I will be the best S C coach possible for the Texas Longhorns. Thank you and I accept your offer.

wildchild11
09-11-2013, 10:29 AM
I look forward to being the strength and conditioning coach.

I promise to find you new and exciting ways to keep our athletes as far away from game shape as possible. I will stop at nothing. No expense will be spared.

Benching? Who has time for that
Squatting? Leg day = worst day
Sprints? No thanks jeffrey that could cause unnecessary sweating.

I will put our recruits through what I am calling the "Ice Cream Eating Decathlon" (Or ICED if you will) 10 events of mind numbing (quite literally, this will be a cold eating event) ice cream gorging. We will focus on the 3 key flavors (vanilla chocolate and strawberry) and move on to other variations of "helado" (that is spanish for ice cream) throughout the season.

You will be startled by our athletes total lack of athletic competency and lack of progression. Hell, we may even regress a little bit.

With several key training implementations I will make sure every recruit is "ICED" to the point of never playing a meaningful minute in college or otherwise. I will have your athletes so out of shape you will regret the moment you ever hired me.


We will run Texas into the ground, but we will do it the right way.

And that is why I will be the best S C coach possible for the Texas Longhorns. Thank you and I accept your offer.


think of a salary you want

Then double it

Then double that

racks on racks, you start friday nikka

sdballer5588
09-11-2013, 10:35 AM
http://i43.tinypic.com/2afam3l.jpg