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Hannah73Louise
08-12-2012, 01:19 PM
So, I've been divorced 3 years and am doing the dating thing online. I'm proud of the fact that I lift heavy, and it's my No.1 hobby/pastime so I include that on my profile.

However, a very nice and honest date last night said that it's really intimidating :( Then wanted to know how much I curl, and said it was even more humiliating because it was more than he could curl.

So........do you think that's how a majority of men feel about women lifting? And should I take that off my profile? It's hard enough finding quality dates as a single mother six as it is, without disadvantaging myself even more.......

wakechica
08-12-2012, 01:27 PM
So, I've been divorced 3 years and am doing the dating thing online. I'm proud of the fact that I lift heavy, and it's my No.1 hobby/pastime so I include that on my profile.

However, a very nice and honest date last night said that it's really intimidating :( Then wanted to know how much I curl, and said it was even more humiliating because it was more than he could curl.

So........do you think that's how a majority of men feel about women lifting? And should I take that off my profile? It's hard enough finding quality dates as a single mother six as it is, without disadvantaging myself even more.......

well if it's scaring the guys away.... maybe you should? Jut put gym as your hobbies and then go on a date and pop the bi's ;)

Dutchie1972
08-12-2012, 01:31 PM
So, I've been divorced 3 years and am doing the dating thing online. I'm proud of the fact that I lift heavy, and it's my No.1 hobby/pastime so I include that on my profile.

However, a very nice and honest date last night said that it's really intimidating :( Then wanted to know how much I curl, and said it was even more humiliating because it was more than he could curl.

So........do you think that's how a majority of men feel about women lifting? And should I take that off my profile? It's hard enough finding quality dates as a single mother six as it is, without disadvantaging myself even more.......

Look, its not as if you want to date the majority of men! You have your preferences, and so have men. Putting it on your profile is an efficient way of ensuring that you are not going to waste your time with dates who are not into the lifestyle. Keep the profile, it will help attract strong men who can deal with strong women!

rowtest
08-12-2012, 01:45 PM
First:WOAH! You really changed your body, congratz like x10000!
Second: if they are intimidated by you saying that you lift in your profile, you will have issues if you end up having more than a 1 night stand with them.In any case, is not like your date will not realize you lift heavy weights, you have a great body -nice biceps btw!-
In general, guys seem to be intimidated by woman who lift or they just don't like it. I had some weird moment with my boyfriend's friend when he would tell my boyfriend that i shouldn't lift heavy , and people telling me not to get too big,avoid lifting heavy,etc..(like it's super easy to get big ,lol)
My suggestion is to avoid to talk too much about it but not hiding it, since if you hide it, you give him a chance to complain about your lifting and eating habits, while if you are open about it you make it clear that is an important part of your life that nobody can change.
Also, get some guys with muscle, i think most men would run away from women stronger than them.
Quality dates are men that can live with the fact that you are a mom ,lift weights and enjoy having a rocking body.-sorry if my English sucks, it's not my mother tongue-

sonti
08-12-2012, 02:00 PM
Just say you like to work out. Obviously most people, including men who weightlift themselves, are afraid of the word bodybuilding associated with women. I mean like at some of the idiots on here who still think girls should just run in order to get fit bodies (despite that they drool over the ones who obviously do more than run!).

Semantics...

AlterEgoErin
08-12-2012, 02:13 PM
Look, its not as if you want to date the majority of men! You have your preferences, and so have men. Putting it on your profile is an efficient way of ensuring that you are not going to waste your time with dates who are not into the lifestyle. Keep the profile, it will help attract strong men who can deal with strong women!
^ This! OP, you need a man. A real man. Not some boy who can't handle a woman who simply does what she loves.

Michelle_Rose
08-12-2012, 02:19 PM
are you "doing the dating thing online" because you're busy ? (with 6 kids, that would be a good reason.. :P )

have you tried looking around you, with people who already know you and know that you're not huge at all ? bodybuilding/gym/exercise in an important part of your life, you shouldnt hide it. be proud of who you are, and look for a real man :)

kimm4
08-12-2012, 02:26 PM
They will normally ask, "How much can you bench or squat?"

"How much do you curl?" LOL...

ilovethe80s
08-12-2012, 02:38 PM
I agree, to maybe phrase it other than 'bodybuilding' because a lot of people might be under the impression that 'bodybuilding' means steroid half-man. Just 'staying fit, working out' or even 'lifting weights' is probably fine. Don't take it out though - half the reason online dating is so good is that you can get to know a lot about a person before even meeting them. I met my husband online :)

ntrllftr
08-12-2012, 02:40 PM
They will normally ask, "How much can you bench or squat?"

"How much do you curl?" LOL...

I have always heard the saying for men.... Curls for the girls.
Now I know why there isn't one for the women. :)

lynore
08-12-2012, 03:04 PM
I agree, to maybe phrase it other than 'bodybuilding' because a lot of people might be under the impression that 'bodybuilding' means steroid half-man. Just 'staying fit, working out' or even 'lifting weights' is probably fine. Don't take it out though - half the reason online dating is so good is that you can get to know a lot about a person before even meeting them. I met my husband online :)

^^. Agreed. I would change it to fitness/training or something like that. You have done a lot of work and transformed yourself to "wow" status. Finding a man who shares your interests would be a great way to start dating.

freebirdmac
08-12-2012, 03:05 PM
They will normally ask, "How much can you bench or squat?"

"How much do you curl?" LOL...

Seriously! :D

EB68
08-12-2012, 03:39 PM
You don't look intimidating at all to me, maybe you just need to give it more time until the right one comes along. Good job on your transformation too, that is awesome.

G500
08-12-2012, 03:47 PM
IMO. Leave it. If I saw a lady had "Lifting" in her profile, she would get big bonus points!

Corbi
08-12-2012, 04:10 PM
Curl? I don't give a rats ass how much a women can curl, so long as she can curl her hand around a certain body part of mine then it's all good:D

freebirdmac
08-12-2012, 04:36 PM
Curl? I don't give a rats ass how much a women can curl, so long as she can curl her hand around a certain body part of mine then it's all good:D

Hand? :p

Corbi
08-12-2012, 04:46 PM
Hand? :p

We could start there and see how it goes.

CajunSpecial
08-12-2012, 06:24 PM
I would change it to "working out". Some men probably wouldn't care if you lift more than them once they know you, but I think some will pass over your profile without ever getting the chance to really know you. As we all know, some people automatically think of the body building women you see on tv and it will scare them off.

CajunSpecial
08-12-2012, 06:25 PM
Curl? I don't give a rats ass how much a women can curl, so long as she can curl her hand around a certain body part of mine then it's all good:D

Do you like women with little hands more? :)

Corbi
08-12-2012, 06:30 PM
Do you like women with little hands more? :)

Well it does make everything appear bigger:D

oneyeti
08-12-2012, 07:09 PM
I think you should leave it or just change it to working out, maybe emphasize that you do love to work out and stay very fit. I'd still want to get the point across that this is who you are now so that you don't get any lazy/anti work out guys, you know?

You just need to wait for the right guy to come along. Being in intimidated is more about THEM being insecure rather than YOU actually being intimidating.

amlashway
08-12-2012, 07:12 PM
If a guy is intimated by the fact that you can lift more than him, maybe he isn't what you're looking for anyway. Besides, isn't the point of looking for partner to find someone who is accepting of you and supportive of what you love?

LoveMyInk
08-12-2012, 07:35 PM
They will normally ask, "How much can you bench or squat?"

"How much do you curl?" LOL...


Do not want a relationship with a dude worried about only curl weight!



I say keep it up. It is a part pf who you are and if they are intimidated they do not deserve you

oregonchick76
08-12-2012, 07:40 PM
IMO, it depends on how important it is to you. Personally, I want a guy who either shares my enthusiasm for doing the things I do, or at the very least is aware of it and supportive of it. For instance, besides lifting, which is a big priority for me, I am very much an outdoor gal - I love to hike and backpack. I'd want to date a guy who liked to hike for sure, because if he didn't, well, we just wouldn't be compatible because I'm out on the trail almost every weekend 9 months a year. And I seriously couldn't imagine dating a guy who wasn't a regular exerciser - doesn't have to be a weight lifter, but crossfit, running, martial arts, etc. Fitness and nutrition would just have to be a priority.

It's ok to be picky. Weed em out early to prevent conflict later on.

kimm4
08-12-2012, 07:40 PM
Seriously! :D

If a dude really wants to know how strong I am, I'll just flip him over my shoulder and take him home! :D

kimm4
08-12-2012, 07:42 PM
curl? I don't give a rats ass how much a women can curl, so long as she can curl her hand around a certain body part of mine then it's all good:d


hand? :p


we could start there and see how it goes.

lmao!! ;)

vidyagamer
08-12-2012, 08:58 PM
I once had a dude tell me that if I lifted I WOULD grow a penis, and that anyone who has muscle uses steroids.

He did not even lift.

But seriously, keep it up. It's a part of your life, and someone who wants to be in your life is going to have to understand that.

soulfly911
08-12-2012, 09:06 PM
Dude must be pretty weak and scrawny if you're curling more. Are you sure it was a man?

Hannah73Louise
08-13-2012, 02:21 AM
Thanks for the feedback - he was just starting with training after loosing weight. I did really like him a lot but there are some red flags, insecurity issues. He said at the end of the night (after 6 pints of beer) that he thought I was looking at other guys in the bar......hmmmmm.

I think I will just take off my back double bicep pose photo and change my details to just gym and working out. And perhaps take 'Ultimate Bodybuilding' off my list of favourite books? lol

dreahere
08-13-2012, 05:11 AM
I did really like him a lot but there are some red flags, insecurity issues. He said at the end of the night (after 6 pints of beer) that he thought I was looking at other guys in the bar......hmmmmm.


Oh, man, dodged a bullet right there.

Botika
08-13-2012, 05:44 AM
Yeah he sounds to insecure to be with someone like you. The transformation you have achieved shows that you are a strong woman inside and out which is difficult for some guys. Maybe just make the tweaks to your profile and see what other contacts come your way. Maybe put something like you are serious about health and fitness and are interested in those qualities in the opposite sex.

veinparade
08-13-2012, 05:45 AM
brb op lifts more than me.

acrawlingchaos
08-13-2012, 10:53 PM
They are not put off by your bodybuilding, or your physique, they are most likely put off by your fevered interest in the gym. Have a double bicep "pose" as a profile pic is setting the stage for perceived expectations. There also shouldn't have been any reason to bring up how much you "curl" on a first date, especially if you know your date isn't as inclined towards fitness. You come over as overzealous. I don't care if the passion is anything else, extreme exuberance is off setting. It isn't that they are "intimidated" but you may come across as the "crazy lady".

Tone it down a bit on the first date. This is the time to just relate and test waters, not gush about your passions. Getting to know one another happens over time, ease up.

CajunSpecial
08-14-2012, 06:16 AM
I think I will just take off my back double bicep pose photo and change my details to just gym and working out. And perhaps take 'Ultimate Bodybuilding' off my list of favourite books? lol

Your double bicep pose is in the profile pics? Why? just why?

sonti
08-14-2012, 06:58 AM
Hmm I do have to agree with those who say it is a bit overzealous.

I actually met my husband through online dating, primarily based on a mutual interest in fitness. But a man is not looking for just a workout partner, he's looking for a date. I think you've probably scared off a lot of guys who would like to date you, just because they think you're (as acrawlingchaos said) "overzealous" in that department. Overzealous or fixated on any one particular interest is not something anyone would want in a potential partner.

This guy actually came out and told you that it was intimidating, I'd listen ;) Tone it down. Show him the other 200 parts of Hannah's personality. Well, not him, 6 pints? But the next one :)

yungbreezy
08-14-2012, 09:16 AM
So, I've been divorced 3 years and am doing the dating thing online. I'm proud of the fact that I lift heavy, and it's my No.1 hobby/pastime so I include that on my profile.

However, a very nice and honest date last night said that it's really intimidating :( Then wanted to know how much I curl, and said it was even more humiliating because it was more than he could curl.

So........do you think that's how a majority of men feel about women lifting? And should I take that off my profile? It's hard enough finding quality dates as a single mother six as it is, without disadvantaging myself even more.......

lol you're 5'8" 133 lbs and you curled more than this dude, plus he found you intimidating?

Maybe you should stop going out with pussies (srs).

gpryor
08-14-2012, 01:46 PM
You enjoy lifting so keep lifting. A good date is one thing but if the guy has issues with you lifting and "afraid" you looked around the bar at other guys? Next his ass and find a guy that likes a fit woman.

FreshWerk
08-14-2012, 02:39 PM
Do what makes you happy! Someone will eventually see that it does, and either accept that or wont. But in the end, your happiness is key.

latebloomingmom
08-14-2012, 09:43 PM
Curl? I don't give a rats ass how much a women can curl, so long as she can curl her hand around a certain body part of mine then it's all good:Dmouth? :D