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View Full Version : Putting things/life into perspective, progress against odds



bodyhard
06-26-2012, 08:30 AM
For those who don't like to view progress pics, because they believe lifting heavy weight is what defines a person who knows what they are doing *CoughOceansideCough* no need to comment on this thread :D :D

Most know my story and I am not going to get into that, but after my accident I was ready to give up and at one point was ready to take my own life. If not for my daughter walking in on me, gun to my mouth, I would not be here today. Looking at myself (aside from so many other things that were eating me alive) I kept thinking I would never get back to what I work so hard to achieve. I was a thin guy to begin with and it took me almost 20 years to get the body I wanted. I worked so hard to achieve the look I wanted and I was proud of my accomplishment and just like that, it was gone...what took so long to get disappeared in a matter of weeks....


Fast forward to 2012....Took me a while to actually like what I am seeing and just to put things into perspective and also get some opinions on here, I would like to show some pics/illustration of my before and after.

Difference is, this will be my before from when I was a teen doing dumb sh!t, to when, IMO I was in the best shape in my life, to now.

Me in my teen years doing drugs, drinking and smoking cigarettes:
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj74/bodyhard_2008/meat18withmydaughter.jpg

After years of training:
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj74/bodyhard_2008/hotelroom2005.jpg

3rd Surgery after accident:
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj74/bodyhard_2008/sleepingaftersurgery.jpg

First pics back in training, was too ashamed to take shirtless/short pics
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj74/bodyhard_2008/Bodyhard_2008.jpg

And now, most recent pic taken on my birthday June 23rd of 2012:
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj74/bodyhard_2008/full1.jpg

I might not be there as yet, but I have been giving it hell and training my ass off. I have not once made an excuse on why it can not be done.

Most here might not like my attitude, but you will never EVER take away my determination...

bodyhard
06-26-2012, 01:52 PM
Awww did my speedos upset you?

Whiskeyjack
06-26-2012, 01:56 PM
You have a GUN? You put it to your head?

Holy crap man.

I have admired your story of vice and adversity, but nothing is worth that.

I think I may be facing a separation and/or divorce; my job's in jeopardy due cutbacks. But suicide is never an option.

bodyhard
06-26-2012, 02:19 PM
You have a GUN? You put it to your head?

Holy crap man.

I have admired your story of vice and adversity, but nothing is worth that.

I think I may be facing a separation and/or divorce; my job's in jeopardy due cutbacks. But suicide is never an option.

Thinking I would be useless to myself and my family I was depressed. And although I know that my thinking was skewed by my depression, it was something at the time I thought was the right thing to do. I have no shame to admit my flaws and yes that was a big one..

Sorry to hear about that you are going through WJ, hope all goes well for you man....

danap3681
06-26-2012, 02:30 PM
I having been through some rough things over the past 10 years know how it is to feel like throwing in the towel. Drugs, infidelity, problems in marriage and overall just not liking myself. It is hard to regroup and get back on the right path sometimes but digging down deep and believing in yourself and learning to love yourself is the only way to pull out. Friends and family can talk till they are blue in the face but hitting what you think is the bottom and for me, almost losing everyone who is important in my life will make you do a serious reality check. I feel better than I ever remember feeling in my entire life right now and it is from realizing I was the only one who could change things and doing things in my life that make me a better person... not for anyone else but for ME! And that in turn makes me better for everyone else.

You look better and happier in your recent pic than all the others :) And speedos didn't bother me at all! Keep it up BH ! Proud of you ;)

induced_drag
06-26-2012, 02:40 PM
John...

Just wanted to say that I can relate. I know a lot of people will never understand what that was like for you....and I probably wont either, but know that others have been through such hard times as well.

Your story and inspired me and I draw strength from watching your success.

I only have a few pics from the time of the accident. They are not really appealing but of me isolated in a brace. I spent 3 months like that and then when it was all said and done, I lost 30lbs.

This is the first pic I took of me working out. This is 4.5 months after the accident. I had gained back most of the weight I lost during recovery and thought I looked pretty good. (that is why I snapped the pic ;) ) I obviously was carrying lots of bodyfat....but I was happy to be feeling good again and starting to feel strong.

http://i646.photobucket.com/albums/uu187/induced_drag/45months.jpg


I get my chops busted a lot around here about posting pics....but in case you did not see a current one ;)....here is one

http://i646.photobucket.com/albums/uu187/induced_drag/Untitled-2.jpg

Like you....my accident has been a defining moment in my life.......but I no longer let it define me! It serves as a source of motivation to improve and never give up. I hope that in a year or so, I can post pics that make my current pic look like a starting one! Always looking to improve. I for one....appreciate your tenacity and have never heard you utter a single excuse. Thank you for the motivation.

Smelly bull
06-26-2012, 02:42 PM
For those who don't like to view progress pics, because they believe lifting heavy weight is what defines a person who knows what they are doing *CoughOceansideCough* no need to comment on this thread :D :D
.

LOL...I guess I am one of those "heavy weights" people, but I can also appreciate the hardwork and dedication people put into their personal endeavors, whether bb, powerlifting, triathlons, marathons, etc.

And while you should be commended for your "rebuild" I am more impressed with your win against depression.

m9a1mike
06-26-2012, 02:45 PM
BH -- I don't know the details of your accident, but I do know where you're coming from. Never had suicidal thoughts, but I have been depressed before. In fact, weightlifting is what got me off my antidepressant medicine several months ago. I'm currently in a situation like WJ, and right now, training is about the only thing I look forward to and what keeps me going.

Thanks for posting what in an odd sense, is inspiring.

PS. Promise to post avi and progress (or lack thereof) pics asap.

discdoggie
06-26-2012, 02:49 PM
My accident was also a life changing experience. I never considered suicide, but the way I was living the first few months after, I may as well have. Sitting around depressed me, so I triple dosed on the pain meds so I could return to my physical job. Yeah, I was working, but now a stung-out, slobbering mess. And although I really don't put too much emphasis on the physical, the injury to my eye not only caused loss of sight, but also made me physically deformed;or so I thought.


I am so glad the settlement $ did not come in until a couple of years later after I'd pulled myself outta that hole or I'd have likely killed myself. Not from intentional suicide, but from drinking and oxy contin-ing myself to an early gave.

Whiskeyjack
06-26-2012, 02:53 PM
I'm currently in a situation like WJ, and right now, training is about the only thing I look forward to and what keeps me going.


Hey, that's true for me, too. My training intensity and fidelity is directly increasing in proportion to the bad news in the rest of my life; perhaps it's an issue of control mechanism, but at least it's positive. Good to know I'm not the only one like this.

m9a1mike
06-26-2012, 02:57 PM
Hey, that's true for me, too. My training intensity and fidelity is directly increasing in proportion to the bad news in the rest of my life; perhaps it's an issue of control mechanism, but at least it's positive. Good to know I'm not the only one like this.

Better release of tension and frustration than hitting the bottle.

Whiskeyjack
06-26-2012, 02:59 PM
Better release of tension and frustration than hitting the bottle.

True. Although in my case I admit to both training hard and hitting the beer!

bodyhard
06-26-2012, 03:01 PM
I having been through some rough things over the past 10 years know how it is to feel like throwing in the towel. Drugs, infidelity, problems in marriage and overall just not liking myself. It is hard to regroup and get back on the right path sometimes but digging down deep and believing in yourself and learning to love yourself is the only way to pull out. Friends and family can talk till they are blue in the face but hitting what you think is the bottom and for me, almost losing everyone who is important in my life will make you do a serious reality check. I feel better than I ever remember feeling in my entire life right now and it is from realizing I was the only one who could change things and doing things in my life that make me a better person... not for anyone else but for ME! And that in turn makes me better for everyone else.

You look better and happier in your recent pic than all the others :) And speedos didn't bother me at all! Keep it up BH ! Proud of you ;)

So many have had their share in life, I like to think I am a strong person mentally, but when the sh!t hit the fan, I was weak and found my strength in my daughter...Thanks for the props.


John...

Just wanted to say that I can relate. I know a lot of people will never understand what that was like for you....and I probably wont either, but know that others have been through such hard times as well.

Your story and inspired me and I draw strength from watching your success.

I only have a few pics from the time of the accident. They are not really appealing but of me isolated in a brace. I spent 3 months like that and then when it was all said and done, I lost 30lbs.

This is the first pic I took of me working out. This is 4.5 months after the accident. I had gained back most of the weight I lost during recovery and thought I looked pretty good. (that is why I snapped the pic ;) ) I obviously was carrying lots of bodyfat....but I was happy to be feeling good again and starting to feel strong.

http://i646.photobucket.com/albums/uu187/induced_drag/45months.jpg


I get my chops busted a lot around here about posting pics....but in case you did not see a current one ;)....here is one

http://i646.photobucket.com/albums/uu187/induced_drag/Untitled-2.jpg

Like you....my accident has been a defining moment in my life.......but I no longer let it define me! It serves as a source of motivation to improve and never give up. I hope that in a year or so, I can post pics that make my current pic look like a starting one! Always looking to improve. I for one....appreciate your tenacity and have never heard you utter a single excuse. Thank you for the motivation.

I will always back you in your pics man, better to be true to yourself than be delusional about what you think you look like... Much respect


LOL...I guess I am one of those "heavy weights" people, but I can also appreciate the hardwork and dedication people put into their personal endeavors, whether bb, powerlifting, triathlons, marathons, etc.

And while you should be commended for your "rebuild" I am more impressed with your win against depression.

Mental toughness is greater than physical toughness, thanks for the props


BH -- I don't know the details of your accident, but I do know where you're coming from. Never had suicidal thoughts, but I have been depressed before. In fact, weightlifting is what got me off my antidepressant medicine several months ago. I'm currently in a situation like WJ, and right now, training is about the only thing I look forward to and what keeps me going.

Thanks for posting what in an odd sense, is inspiring.

PS. Promise to post avi and progress (or lack thereof) pics asap.

Was told by doctors I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, was paralyzed from the waist down. Most people who suffer depression look for medication, props for using the weights to get you out...

Will look forward to the pics :D


My accident was also a life changing experience. I never considered suicide, but the way I was living the first few months after, I may as well have. Sitting around depressed me, so I triple dosed on the pain meds so I could return to my physical job. Yeah, I was working, but now a stung-out, slobbering mess. And although I really don't put too much emphasis on the physical, the injury to my eye not only caused loss of sight, but also made me physically deformed;or so I thought.


I am so glad the settlement $ did not come in until a couple of years later after I'd pulled myself outta that hole or I'd have likely killed myself. Not from intentional suicide, but from drinking and oxy contin-ing myself to an early gave.

LOL on committing suicide by enjoying life as only you know how!!

m9a1mike
06-26-2012, 03:02 PM
True. Although in my case I admit to both training hard and hitting the beer!


I still hit this all too frequently

http://i1110.photobucket.com/albums/h442/bradfamphotos/harp-230.jpg

bigvin73
06-26-2012, 03:03 PM
BH
I been gone for two years with my own demons but there was a time we spoke more then a few times about stuff. If you remember at all I'm honest and opinionated like you just not quite as gruff. That being said.
Honestly man you look better now then you did when you thought you looked best not quit as lean as then but Much fuller bro. Go back at it again and get your ass on stage like you planned before

bodyhard
06-26-2012, 06:08 PM
BH
I been gone for two years with my own demons but there was a time we spoke more then a few times about stuff. If you remember at all I'm honest and opinionated like you just not quite as gruff. That being said.
Honestly man you look better now then you did when you thought you looked best not quit as lean as then but Much fuller bro. Go back at it again and get your ass on stage like you planned before

Whats up big man, yes I remember our talks...Thanks for the props man. That is why I want to hit 200lbs so then I can lean out some and still carry more LBM.

pharmamarketer
06-26-2012, 06:18 PM
I can relate John. Not the suicide stuff but facing big obstacles. Mine was self induced. I drank and drugged myself into rehab and almost lost everything I worked my ass off to get. I know what it's like to feel like you are at the bottom of the barrel. But, I am one that puts that shti behind me and moves on. I think about it every now and then but I never let it become a crutch. You should be very proud of what you did and got yourself thru. You should consider talking to people in your community that are down and need to be "lifted" up. There are a lot of people out there that you could help by simply speaking to them. Just a thought. It may not be your style. I have done it and found it very rewarding.

bodyhard
06-26-2012, 06:28 PM
I can relate John. Not the suicide stuff but facing big obstacles. Mine was self induced. I drank and drugged myself into rehab and almost lost everything I worked my ass off to get. I know what it's like to feel like you are at the bottom of the barrel. But, I am one that puts that shti behind me and moves on. I think about it every now and then but I never let it become a crutch. You should be very proud of what you did and got yourself thru. You should consider talking to people in your community that are down and need to be "lifted" up. There are a lot of people out there that you could help by simply speaking to them. Just a thought. It may not be your style. I have done it and found it very rewarding.

Pharm, believe it or not, I do that at every opportunity I get. I know I have this image on here, but I always try to give out advice and positive vibe to people who are down. Some really listen and it feels good knowing you can make a difference in someones life.

DubfromGA
06-26-2012, 06:35 PM
Some great stories in this thread.

One of the things I really enjoy about the O35 section is that there are many diamonds that were rough stones at some point and have carved themselves out in every way possible.

One doesn't have to look hard to find inspiring stories that make you feel good for someone. There's a lot more going on that people working hard to reshape their bodies....much more.

John, your honesty and openess is both brave and refreshing. You define the concept of REAL. You were beat down and look at you now....kicking azz and taking names. You story has motivated many. Your prescense here will continue motivating folks. I'm grateful for that.

pharmamarketer
06-26-2012, 06:37 PM
Pharm, believe it or not, I do that at every opportunity I get. I know I have this image on here, but I always try to give out advice and positive vibe to people who are down. Some really listen and it feels good knowing you can make a difference in someones life.

That is great to hear. You are very vocal here in a good way and so I am actually not surprised now that I think about it

pvsampson
06-26-2012, 07:14 PM
Much deserved respect,John.Serious.

Also for those here that have ceased substance abuse.

As a former abuser.

mdmahmudulhaque
06-26-2012, 07:23 PM
wow, I would like to give you a salute, a great change you have made yourself, I think , people from bb.com forum can be greatly motivated from you and the same is applicable to me as well.

bodyhard
06-26-2012, 08:32 PM
Some great stories in this thread.

One of the things I really enjoy about the O35 section is that there are many diamonds that were rough stones at some point and have carved themselves out in every way possible.

One doesn't have to look hard to find inspiring stories that make you feel good for someone. There's a lot more going on that people working hard to reshape their bodies....much more.

John, your honesty and openess is both brave and refreshing. You define the concept of REAL. You were beat down and look at you now....kicking azz and taking names. You story has motivated many. Your prescense here will continue motivating folks. I'm grateful for that.

Thanks for the props man, I keep sh!t real and I stay true to myself. There is nothing about my life I regret because it has made me the man I am today. No one can ever accuse me of being fake. Also there are a lot of people on here that although I don't know IRL I have mad respect to them for the reasons you just outlined.


That is great to hear. You are very vocal here in a good way and so I am actually not surprised now that I think about it Sometimes people don't want to hear it, or it goes in one ear and out the other, but I still keep it up because helping just one person is all well worth it.


Much deserved respect,John.Serious.

Also for those here that have ceased substance abuse.

As a former abuser.
Thanks man, right back at ya.


wow, I would like to give you a salute, a great change you have made yourself, I think , people from bb.com forum can be greatly motivated from you and the same is applicable to me as well.

Sometimes people can find motivation is places you never thought possible. Thanks for the props.

bodyhard
06-29-2012, 01:43 PM
This had to be done...

Oceanside
06-29-2012, 01:54 PM
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj74/bodyhard_2008/meat18withmydaughter.jpg



you look like one of those girl monkeys on the planet of the apes...

pharmamarketer
06-29-2012, 02:26 PM
you look like one of those girl monkeys on the planet of the apes...

Roasting thread....that way >>>>>>:D

Peanutbuttah19
06-29-2012, 02:47 PM
Well done, keep going, what one man can do another can do.

bodyhard
06-29-2012, 02:58 PM
you look like one of those girl monkeys on the planet of the apes...

LMFAO!!!!! In real life!!


Well done, keep going, what one man can do another can do.

True dat..