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Tyrbolift
06-23-2012, 09:26 AM
Ever stop and think about what your parents were doing when they were the same age as you are now?

At my age, my parents had "worked their whole lives" as high school teachers (1985) in a Denver suburb, raised a family of 3, and were retiring fairly young, purchasing a brand new home in a newer Phoenix-based retirement community (where dad would live only 10 more years--mom still with us).

In comparison, I have achieved so much less than they had, yet physically, in much better shape. Still able to do just about everything I enjoyed when I was not even old enough to legally drink.

Time. It marches on.

dungeonmistress
06-23-2012, 10:11 AM
Dad - dead in early 50's (massive heart attack behind wheel of his car; all 4 arteries were blocked from decades of bad eating, stress, smoking/drinking). Mother - depressed drinker/smoker, who died of smoking-related disease in her early 70's. I strive to be exactly polar opposite of them in every way. In comparison, his dad lived into his 90's and her mother lived until her 90's as well. Hoping the longevity gene skipped a generation in both cases :)

pharmamarketer
06-23-2012, 10:14 AM
My Dad retired at my age for the first time after selling his company. Yes, I get to live in that shadow. Then he went back and sold another one at 50. Just sold his third and final at 63. I have all sorts of fun to live up to every decade.

latebloomingmom
06-23-2012, 10:16 AM
at my age now my mother was divorced twice and still raising my little brother. She had a daughter in college and a son who was married with a wife and baby.
She was a teacher and already battling with the cancer that would claim her life at 47.
At my age my father was twice divorced, worked as a negotiator for the michigan board of ed and lived alone in a condo and was a raging alcoholic.

LisaSkinnoble
06-23-2012, 10:30 AM
When my mom was 47, my Dad was 50. Four of their five daughters had married/left home. They had 5 grandchildren and the 6th was on his way (7, 8 and 9 came in later years). My parents were both in great shape, healthy, and happy. They were then (and still are) very active in their church, their communities, and their charities. They've always been quite social.

My mom retired at 51 or 52 (I can't quite remember). A year later, my Dad retired. They've been having a ball since, my father's cancers notwithstanding. Even through all that they have endured from my dad's health scares, they've maintained such positive attitudes, are enormously grateful for every day they have together, and really do live their lives to the fullest. Their house is always lively (a cast of thousands, I tell them), full of good food and good live music.

I think the difference between my parents and myself, is that they are more adventurous. Mother thinks nothing of packing a thermos of tea and some sandwiches for them, then hopping in the car and driving 17 hours to Nova Scotia just to buy wool. They crack me up!

DocHoss
06-25-2012, 03:14 PM
When my mom was 48, she was healthy and happy and working as a labor and delivery nurse. I had graduated from college and had started grad school close to home, so she got to see me a lot (I went to college 5000 miles away). My brother was in college at the time. When my dad was my age, he and my step-mom had sailed to the mainland and were living in Washington state while I was in darkest Perú lying on top of a black caiman (see my progress pics). I can't imagine what hell they went through raising me and my brother, but in the end I think they turned out OK. Not so sure about us....


at my age now my mother was divorced twice and still raising my little brother. She had a daughter in college and a son who was married with a wife and baby.
She was a teacher and already battling with the cancer that would claim her life at 47.
At my age my father was twice divorced, worked as a negotiator for the michigan board of ed and lived alone in a condo and was a raging alcoholic.
I'm so sorry to read about your parents. That must have been so difficult for you. When I see what people like you have been through, I realize how lucky I have been.

latebloomingmom
06-25-2012, 03:24 PM
When my mom was 48, she was healthy and happy and working as a labor and delivery nurse. I had graduated from college and had started grad school close to home, so she got to see me a lot (I went to college 5000 miles away). My brother was in college at the time. When my dad was my age, he and my step-mom had sailed to the mainland and were living in Washington state while I was in darkest Perú lying on top of a black caiman (see my progress pics). I can't imagine what hell they went through raising me and my brother, but in the end I think they turned out OK. Not so sure about us....


I'm so sorry to read about your parents. That must have been so difficult for you. When I see what people like you have been through, I realize how lucky I have been.umm thanks I guess. nobody gets to choose the cards they are dealt sometimes. My parents were imperfect people who raised imperfect children but they had good points too. I did not get to have them for very long compared to some this is true. I did however, appreciate and accept them while I still had them.:)

mslman71
06-25-2012, 03:34 PM
They finally were getting their feet under them after getting beaten to death by the recession of the late 70s/early 80s. My dad told me (recently) that he used to drive around the farm having panic attacks about whether or not there was going to be enough money to make payments and feed the animals. By comparison, I have had it very easy and appreciate all the hard work they did to keep things afloat, providing us with whatever we needed and even some of the luxuries we wanted.

tobymax123
06-25-2012, 03:50 PM
When my mom was 47, my Dad was 50. Four of their five daughters had married/left home. They had 5 grandchildren and the 6th was on his way (7, 8 and 9 came in later years). My parents were both in great shape, healthy, and happy. They were then (and still are) very active in their church, their communities, and their charities. They've always been quite social.

My mom retired at 51 or 52 (I can't quite remember). A year later, my Dad retired. They've been having a ball since, my father's cancers notwithstanding. Even through all that they have endured from my dad's health scares, they've maintained such positive attitudes, are enormously grateful for every day they have together, and really do live their lives to the fullest. Their house is always lively (a cast of thousands, I tell them), full of good food and good live music.

I think the difference between my parents and myself, is that they are more adventurous. Mother thinks nothing of packing a thermos of tea and some sandwiches for them, then hopping in the car and driving 17 hours to Nova Scotia just to buy wool. They crack me up!
Wow, your parents sound like awesome happy people. I love to see people like that. I can't say that I'm there yet. I would be very grumpy about making a 17 hour drive.

StressMonkey
06-25-2012, 03:50 PM
They finally were getting their feet under them after getting beaten to death by the recession of the late 70s/early 80s. My dad told me (recently) that he used to drive around the farm having panic attacks about whether or not there was going to be enough money to make payments and feed the animals. By comparison, I have had it very easy and appreciate all the hard work they did to keep things afloat, providing us with whatever we even some of the luxuries we wanted.

Unfortunately sometimes it's easy to forget how good we have it in some respects. When relatives tell you stories like that it really hammers home that point.

tobymax123
06-25-2012, 04:16 PM
My dad made more money at age 48 than I do now, and that was in 1986 dollars. He was in his 30th year as a company man, working for the same company his whole life. Started in the mail room, and with no college education he worked his way up to an executive director position. He went to the office early, stayed late, then dropped dead from a heart attack at 51. I did not know how beloved he was in his company until he was gone. They spoiled us kids with cars, credit cards, paying our way through college (6 years for me), and large monetary gifts, all while building a healthy retirement fund. I would not be in the position to do that if I had three college age kids now. He could have retired is his early 50's had he made it that far. While I will retire comfortably, it won't be until my 60's.

After he died my mother played the part of a little old widow woman at the age of 48, until she died at 60.

GuyJin
06-25-2012, 08:58 PM
I'm fifty now, and at that age, my father ran his own company, often worked up to sixteen hours a day, but still did his best to care for me and my older sister. My mother stayed home to do the housewife thing, and we grew up in a strictly middle-class neighborhood. Looking back on it, I can't believe how hard my father worked to give my mother, sister, and me all the things he never had. He was born on the eve of World War I, survived the Spanish Flu epidemic, started working during the Great Depression (he quit school at the age of sixteen) and did what he had to do in order to survive. People these days, in spite of the recession, have it quite easy in comparison. JMO. I know I did, and I'm grateful he and my mother worked so hard to instill in me good values.

trymarine
06-26-2012, 07:36 AM
My mother was dead at my age,she died aged forty seven,on chistmas day 1984.We were estranged,and i did'nt see her for the last two years of her life,and had'nt really spoken to
her for the last five.She'd lost a lung to tubercolosis at a young age,but still smoked cigarettes till she died.I can't blame her for that as she had a very difficult life,full of stress and
very little money,after the man (for want of a better word) she loved and gave five children,was made to leave because of his bullying and violence.The only memories i had of him
while growing up,were him holding her by the throat up against a wall or door,which has had a long lasting effect on my own life.

As children,we were never hungry,were always clean and well dressed,and had most things our friends had,and unfortunately you don't realise how lucky you were,until much later
in life,when experience and the passage of time enlightens you somewhat.I had an elder sibling,who took on the role as dominant male at home, and again unfortunately,he was
a domineering bully,who liked to exert his dominion over those around him.My problem,was that while others accepted it as a part of life,i would retaliate and suffer the summary
leathering that was dished out with gleeful abandon.
Anyway,a bit of brevity,i managed to get through my formative years,became a builder,learned how to fight in a boxing ring,stopped people bullying me,and took,as i thought,
control of my own destiny.My mother,after many many long years of hardship,and without ever receiving a penny,or us a birthday card,accepted that worthless piece of s**t
back into her life,saying he was the only man she'd ever loved,and she could'nt understand why i would'nt accept him back into mine,asking"what did he ever do to you?"
I decided they could get on with it,but without me,and that was that.
Iwish i'd had a real dad,one who would take me fishing,or to a football game,or watch me box,but there you go that's life.
I've had my share of relationships,but they've never lasted,and i've never married or had children,who i adore.I've always thought i would'nt be
good enough,as a husband or father,and just left it at that.The funny thing is all my friends children,or grandchildren love to see me,and i them,
and i take a lot of solace from that.
Love your children and take care of them,and hopefully when they no longer need you,they'll still love and care for you.

trymarine
06-26-2012, 07:42 AM
My mother was dead at my age,she died aged forty seven,on chistmas day 1984.We were estranged,and i did'nt see her for the last two years of her life,and had'nt really spoken to
her for the last five.She'd lost a lung to tubercolosis at a young age,but still smoked cigarettes till she died.I can't blame her for that as she had a very difficult life,full of stress and
very little money,after the man (for want of a better word) she loved and gave five children,was made to leave because of his bullying and violence.The only memories i had of him
while growing up,were him holding her by the throat up against a wall or door,which has had a long lasting effect on my own life.

As children,we were never hungry,were always clean and well dressed,and had most things our friends had,and unfortunately you don't realise how lucky you were,until much later
in life,when experience and the passage of time enlightens you somewhat.I had an elder sibling,who took on the role as dominant male at home, and again unfortunately,he was
a domineering bully,who liked to exert his dominion over those around him.My problem,was that while others accepted it as a part of life,i would retaliate and suffer the summary
leathering that was dished out with gleeful abandon.
Anyway,a bit of brevity,i managed to get through my formative years,became a builder,learned how to fight in a boxing ring,stopped people bullying me,and took,as i thought,
control of my own destiny.My mother,after many many long years of hardship,and without ever receiving a penny,or us a birthday card,accepted that worthless piece of s**t
back into her life,saying he was the only man she'd ever loved,and she could'nt understand why i would'nt accept him back into mine,asking"what did he ever do to you?"
I decided they could get on with it,but without me,and that was that.
Iwish i'd had a real dad,one who would take me fishing,or to a football game,or watch me box,but there you go that's life.
I've had my share of relationships,but they've never lasted,and i've never married or had children,who i adore.I've always thought i would'nt be
good enough,as a husband or father,and just left it at that.The funny thing is all my friends children,or grandchildren love to see me,and i them,
and i take a lot of solace from that.
Love your children and take care of them,and hopefully when they no longer need you,they'll still love and care for you.
Sorry about the supposed paragraphing and punctuation,but i just can't write on a damned keyboard.Gimme a piece of paper and in inkpen anyday lol.

theKurp
06-26-2012, 10:28 AM
Ever stop and think about what your parents were doing when they were the same age as you are now?

Nope. Neither one made it to my age now.

DocHoss
06-26-2012, 11:59 AM
umm thanks I guess. nobody gets to choose the cards they are dealt sometimes. My parents were imperfect people who raised imperfect children but they had good points too. I did not get to have them for very long compared to some this is true. I did however, appreciate and accept them while I still had them.:)
Very well said! Most all of us had imperfect parents, some more imperfect than others, but most all of them tried very hard to do right by us. From what I've learned over the months, I think you've turned out very well :) Keep lifting and living right so you can be a healthy, happy great, great granny some day!

latebloomingmom
06-26-2012, 12:17 PM
great great granny...I hope I live even close to that age:)

Whiskeyjack
06-26-2012, 12:26 PM
When Dad was my age, give or take a year, I was in my power-bodybuilding peak and was both big and strong. He had never exercised since the '50s when he was a merchant mariner and had been a hard smoker since his mid teens. He saw my training as both a way to get in shape and spend time with me. So together we renovated the basement into a pretty good little gym - such that other guys would come to train there - and he started training with me. He never got very strong but was squatting 185 for 8 and could get a few pullups; he quit smoking. We certainly did get a lot of good time together, so he managed both of his goals. I was pretty breezy with the overconfidence only a 19-22 year old could have so in retrospect I wish I had made more of his triumphs (such as when we went swimming and he got to 17 lengths), but we had many happy times training; he was very encouraging. He died 10 years later of leukemia.

frozensparky
06-26-2012, 12:46 PM
When my parents were in their mid thirties as I am now they went thru the toughest times as it was the recession of te early 80's. Dad had quit his job as a manager at the bank when they wanted to move him to a major city (he wanted myself and my sister to grow up in a small town). So dad worked as many small jobs as he could to pay the mortgage and mom baked and sold bread for a little extra money. At one point they almost lost the house but found a way to get through. Myself and my sister never knew how bad it was until we were in our twenties. They always made sure we never went without anything we needed. They are now in their sixties, retired comfortably and travel all the time. Mom is in better shape than a lot of women twenty years younger than her. Being an electrician, I am farther ahead of my parents financially at this point of my life and they both never miss an opportunity to tell me they are proud of that. I just hope I can come close to them in number of anniversaries and in how I raise my children.

JRT6
06-26-2012, 06:33 PM
My mom and dad were fat and hoplessly out of shape at my current age. I make more than my parents combined which I find quite satisfying since I spent my time growing up hearing that I wouldn't amount to jack ****. My mom is now in a wheel chair with MS b/c she's too fat and weak to use a walker. My dad lost a lot of weight but has self induced type 2 diabetes and dosen't have any interest in doing anything about it.

Here's an idea of what kind of parents I had: a few years ago my mom got mad over the inadaquacy of her mother's day gift so she took it out by biting my then four year old daughter in the arm. My dad totally went into denial about it and just continued on being her number one enabler.

Oceanside
06-26-2012, 07:03 PM
as a youth, on several occasions my mother would reach into our kitchen drawer and pull out a fly swatter and try to hit me on my ass or the back of my legs....

it wasn't long before I learned how to disarm her, but that only mean't she'd tell dad when he got home...

after a while I learned to take my beating with a fly swatter like a man :)

mslman71
06-26-2012, 07:05 PM
as a youth, on several occasions my mother would reach into our kitchen drawer and pull out a fly swatter and try to hit me on my ass or the back of my legs....

it wasn't long before I learned how to disarm her, but that only mean't she'd tell dad when he got home...

after a while I learned to take my beating with a fly swatter like a man :)

lol, sounds very familiar.

Oceanside
06-26-2012, 07:10 PM
Here's an idea of what kind of parents I had: a few years ago my mom got mad over the inadaquacy of her mother's day gift so she took it out by biting my then four year old granddaughter in the arm. My dad totally went into denial about it and just continued on being her number one enabler.

just curious .....


what did Mom get for mother's day ?

dbx
06-26-2012, 07:49 PM
At my current age, my parents were right on course to do what they had planned to do; retire comfortably. They made modest, yet numerous property investments along the way, all while putting 3 children through college (my two sisters going to fairly expensive schools). Their combined salaries (mom was an RN, but mostly worked part time) weren't really that significant. it was their drive, discipline and ability to refrain from ever spending money foolishly that enabled them to retire 20yrs ago...and live on the beach on the Gulf of Mexico. They take at least 2-3 cruises per year (last one was 23 days!), and have seen the world many times over. Still active, but starting to slow down this past year or so.

I can only wish :eek: :( :D

Nikonguy
06-26-2012, 08:43 PM
Then: My parents were marrying off three of their four children and finally getting their house back.

Now: They are frivolously spending our inheritance on the cruises and tours that they couldn't afford while they were putting us through college. And we are cheering them on every step of the way! ;)

Tyrbolift
06-27-2012, 12:10 AM
At my current age, my parents were right on course to do what they had planned to do; retire comfortably. They made modest, yet numerous property investments along the way, all while putting 3 children through college (my two sisters going to fairly expensive schools). Their combined salaries (mom was an RN, but mostly worked part time) weren't really that significant. it was their drive, discipline and ability to refrain from ever spending money foolishly that enabled them to retire 20yrs ago...and live on the beach on the Gulf of Mexico. They take at least 2-3 cruises per year (last one was 23 days!), and have seen the world many times over. Still active, but starting to slow down this past year or so.

I can only wish :eek: :( :DI've noticed a lot of posters commenting that their folks didn't make an awful lot, but were very austere when they had to be...that they didn't want their kids to do without, as they had had to do when they were kids.

My parents didn't go around throwing money here and there, they couldn't afford it.

But when Christmastime came around, they always seemed to be able to get me EXACTLY what I had wished for...no cutting corners.

As much as I hate to admit it, the effect on me was to not be very good with money and giving in to temptation all too easily and unwisely frittering away important bill money on stupid things.

beachguy498
06-27-2012, 04:13 AM
Age 57... My mom had died at age 52 from a combination of smoking and hypertension. She was an assistant manager of a major department store and did well $$ wise. My dad at age 57 was in fairly good shape and had a physical job that kept him going. I was 19 when he was 57 and worked 2 jobs and brought home more than he did. I could never see why he never made a lot of money considering his skills.

On my mom's side, they tended to die between age 48 and 65. She has one surviving sister who has beat the odds and is now 89. On my dad's side, his father died at age 68, his mom was almost 82. He's 95 now and in fairly good health, his older sister is 104 and his baby brother is 88.

Rob

bowlingj68
09-07-2012, 12:16 PM
At my age my dad had already been in a wheel chair for about for about three years, before that he used braces. He treated his body too hard for someone who didn't take care of his body. He would push it past the limit without any training or preparation. My mom has been very overweight my whole life, to the point she needs to get two seats on a plane. I t was hard growing up and wanting to have friends come over and thats too bad on my part. No matter how she took care of herself she did a good job with me.

I had let myself get over weight after leaving the military, 210 lbs at 5'9. I was able to hide it well though. My weight did not concern me too much until a nurse said I might want to start blood pressure pills at 38. Thats when I started running, no way was I going to start pills for the rest of my life was my thought. I ran for about six months and lost about 40 lbs and was able to complete the Big Sur Marathon in 4 1/2 hrs, one bucket list item down.Two problems though, I killed my feet and my wife said she didnt like the look of the runners body.Took a couple of years off of working out and gained back about 16 lbs, but thought that was better than where I was before.Until I noticed myself getting out of breath going up the stairs at work. Time for some weights and a little cardio( machines are easier on the feet).So here I am now back at it, I have lost 9 lbs plus gained some size and definition.

I appreciate a website like this with the different threads to help keep me motivated.