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View Full Version : What the hell is up with all the obese security guards?



geer_matt
06-21-2012, 08:02 PM
Every security guard I see seems to be either obese or a very old senior citizen. Whats up with that? Shouldn't the job requirements be to be able to at least physically handle SOME situations? I guess being a security guard is mostly just having someone there to call for help now a days? The security guard around the transit center where I live is super obese, I mean if I wanted to get away from him for one reason or another I would only have to walk a little faster than normal I guess. I seem to remember a time when most security guards where overly hyper jock type weight lifting guys, who were trying to work there way up to being a police officer or something. Seems like most of them were that way when I was a teenager anyways.

SP1966
06-21-2012, 08:04 PM
You're awesome, obese security guards suck.

:rolleyes:

Brackneyc
06-21-2012, 08:05 PM
Every security guard I see seems to be either obese or a very old senior citizen. Whats up with that? Shouldn't the job requirements be to be able to at least physically handle SOME situations? I guess being a security guard is mostly just having someone there to call for help now a days? The security guard around the transit center where I live is super obese, I mean if I wanted to get away from him for one reason or another I would only have to walk a little faster than normal I guess. I seem to remember a time when most security guards where overly hyper jock type weight lifting guys, who were trying to work there way up to being a police officer or something. Seems like most of them were that way when I was a teenager anyways.


The requirement(s) is/are that you have to be willing (or only able) to work crap hours for low pay.

geer_matt
06-21-2012, 08:06 PM
You're awesome, obese security guards suck.

:rolleyes:
I know I am awesome, but that's not the point.

Oceanside
06-21-2012, 08:07 PM
Seems like most of them were that way when I was a teenager anyways.

they've changed !

crupiea
06-21-2012, 08:12 PM
I know I am awesome, but that's not the point.

I was surprised at how big the tsa people in vegas are. no way could they run anyone down. i guess they dont have to.

latebloomingmom
06-21-2012, 08:12 PM
ya mean like mall cops? with little walkie talkies?:)

geer_matt
06-21-2012, 08:13 PM
i agree
Takes awesome to know awesome.

djflex
06-21-2012, 08:27 PM
Personally, im glad they are too fat to chase me. Shoplifting is one of my hobbies...

phikappa
06-21-2012, 08:56 PM
Paul Blart does not approve of this thread.

so-tex
06-21-2012, 09:18 PM
ya'll mean like mall cops? with little wawkee tawkees?:)Fixed. ;)

latebloomingmom
06-21-2012, 09:21 PM
Fixed. ;)now cut that out....:)

dungeonmistress
06-21-2012, 09:43 PM
http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv321/bjfeen/mallcop.jpg

bodyhard
06-21-2012, 09:55 PM
Same goes for cops to. Mad out of shape cops in NY that is why they draw their guns so damn fast, f'ckers are scared sh!tless to do anything remotely physical against perps.

crupiea
06-21-2012, 10:11 PM
Takes awesome to know awesome.

this

JRT6
06-21-2012, 10:27 PM
As long as a guard's finger isn't too fat to press 911 on the phone they're in good enough shape. Boredom= eating. The same bane as most jobs.

IronCharles
06-22-2012, 12:48 AM
Seems like most of them were that way when I was a teenager anyways.One of my favorite books as a kid. They were fat back in the day, not much different than today.

http://www.alephbet.com/pictures/1343_1.JPG



In all fairness, there are a lot of cops that are in excellent shape. Some of the better built folks who post here are LEOs.

beachguy498
06-22-2012, 05:36 AM
... because cardboard cutouts blow over in the wind.

Rob

JolietKev
06-22-2012, 06:51 AM
To be fair, I have seen some who are in pretty good shape. I am sure that many sit around most of the time and eating can be a way to pass the time when bored.

BillReilly
06-22-2012, 07:03 AM
One of my favorite books as a kid. They were fat back in the day, not much different than today.

In all fairness, there are a lot of cops that are in excellent shape. Some of the better built folks who post here are LEOs.

Positions of authority tend to attract sociopaths, but they also attract the lazy. A cop does not work too hard and does not have to worry too much about performance. That's an attractive gig for people with little ambition. Most police forces try to screen out the lunatics and the lazy, but a fair number slip through. Once they get in, they revert to their natural state.

latebloomingmom
06-22-2012, 07:31 AM
ya know my brother and I just mentioned something about this the other day..seems like the state boys are young and in shape, the city police not so much: some in good shape and some pudgy and then there are the sherriff boys..most of them seem to be out of shape around here.

jdtemple
06-22-2012, 07:40 AM
I see your obese security guard and raise you, obese police officer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GivBf33rteA

That's a local guy. He got fired for his inability to perform and followed up by suing.

djflex
06-22-2012, 07:53 AM
Positions of authority tend to attract sociopaths, but they also attract the lazy. A cop does not work too hard and does not have to worry too much about performance. That's an attractive gig for people with little ambition. Most police forces try to screen out the lunatics and the lazy, but a fair number slip through. Once they get in, they revert to their natural state.

Are you saying cops dont work hard and have no ambition? What the fuk, kind of a crappy view of those in general i say.

Seems like a poor generalization, man.

latebloomingmom
06-22-2012, 08:00 AM
wow I am lazy and slightly sociopathic..I may have missed my calling:)





oh wait...positions of authority..hmmm
that could be lots of things..

thepowerwithin
06-22-2012, 08:08 AM
Same goes for cops to. Mad out of shape cops in NY that is why they draw their guns so damn fast, f'ckers are scared sh!tless to do anything remotely physical against perps.

Exactly what I was thinking. There are numerous fat asses in my county. I just look and think for crying out loud, WTF. How are they supposed to defend me if I need it?

I have to pass annual academic compliance testing in order to keep my job, and I think it would be a good idea for street cops to have to pass some sort of muscular endurance, agility, and/or aerobic capacity test on at least a yearly basis.

BillReilly
06-22-2012, 08:16 AM
Are you saying cops dont work hard and have no ambition? What the fuk, kind of a crappy view of those in general i say.

Seems like a poor generalization, man.

If that what I said, you would have a point. It is not what I said so your objection is unfounded.

Oceanside
06-22-2012, 08:25 AM
Positions of authority tend to attract sociopaths, but they also attract the lazy. A cop does not work too hard and does not have to worry too much about performance. That's an attractive gig for people with little ambition. Most police forces try to screen out the lunatics and the lazy, but a fair number slip through. Once they get in, they revert to their natural state.


you're like the diet version of DaddyR sometimes !

danap3681
06-22-2012, 08:26 AM
We always called them Rent-a-Cops around here:) My dad was head of security at a wood plant here until he was 73 years old but he was in good shape and walked miles and miles each day. They had to punch in at different areas around the plant so they didn't just sit around.

But... lots of them around here are definitely out of shape. As are our sherrifs and city cops. City is in dire need of police so I think as long as they apply they get hired. We have a State Trooper Training Academy here and I can say for a fact our troopers are in shape. I see them working out and running around the track at the academy.

thenags
06-22-2012, 08:38 AM
The requirement(s) is/are that you have to be willing (or only able) to work crap hours for low pay.

Exactly. I run security in a club. I take what I can get.

That said, I do have 3 different types of fighters with pro cards working for me. But for them it's just something to waste time with till their next fight.

paolo59
06-22-2012, 09:13 AM
Here in Texas the State Troopers are pretty trim and fit. Just got back from a little trip to the Valley, the Border Patrol were everywhere. Didn't see a fat one among them. But the county Sheriff's Departments in the state are a 'heavy' bunch. Good ole' boys who obviously don't shy away from the table much! :)

Brackneyc
06-22-2012, 09:21 AM
While I was in the military, I fought the weight battle all 7 years I was in. I was 5' 8" and 180lbs. I was considered overweight (by a big margin), even though I maxed the PT each and every time I took it. Physically, I was a wrecking ball, but it did not matter...because I "looked" fat in uniform.

jdtemple
06-22-2012, 09:23 AM
While I was in the military, I fought the weight battle all 7 years I was in. I was 5' 8" and 180lbs. I was considered overweight (by a big margin), even though I maxed the PT each and every time I took it. Physically, I was a wrecking ball, but it did not matter...because I "looked" fat in uniform.You and me both, brother! I almost got kicked out because of my weight. I had to go to "fat camp", which made me exempt from the weigh-in/BF check as long as I was "showing progress" to lose weight.

trev71
06-22-2012, 09:59 AM
You get what you pay for.

Min Wage Security Guards really are there to call the police and point fingers... maybe manage a front door or something.

They are not going to chase you, stop you, tackle you.. that's for the guys who have real life experience and are paid as professionals.

Just my experience in the CT area.

Brackneyc
06-22-2012, 10:16 AM
You and me both, brother! I almost got kicked out because of my weight. I had to go to "fat camp", which made me exempt from the weigh-in/BF check as long as I was "showing progress" to lose weight.

LOL...I was also sentenced to "remedial PT" after I failed my first permanent party PT test. I did that for 8 weeks (mandatory), and by te end of the 8 weeks, I was a different person. I was allowed to stay for another 8 weeks, but not as a fatty, but as an "assistant" to the instructor. It was during this time which I began to lift (thank god).

Then, I got really strong, aced all PT tests, but also got bigger. So even though I was fit as hell, I was still outside of military weight standards. This was one of the primary reasons I did not make the military a first career. I wasn't about to be the strongest guy in my unit, and at the same time, have my weight called into question daily.

djflex
06-22-2012, 10:28 AM
Brackney, what did the military think was yer ideal weight?

jdtemple
06-22-2012, 10:44 AM
LOL...I was also sentenced to "remedial PT" after I failed my first permanent party PT test. I did that for 8 weeks (mandatory), and by te end of the 8 weeks, I was a different person. I was allowed to stay for another 8 weeks, but not as a fatty, but as an "assistant" to the instructor. It was during this time which I began to lift (thank god).

Then, I got really strong, aced all PT tests, but also got bigger. So even though I was fit as hell, I was still outside of military weight standards. This was one of the primary reasons I did not make the military a first career. I wasn't about to be the strongest guy in my unit, and at the same time, have my weight called into question daily.Same here. I might have stayed in if I wasn't borderline overweight. I didn't want to fight that battle for 20+ years.

JRT6
06-22-2012, 12:34 PM
Positions of authority tend to attract sociopaths, but they also attract the lazy. A cop does not work too hard and does not have to worry too much about performance. That's an attractive gig for people with little ambition. Most police forces try to screen out the lunatics and the lazy, but a fair number slip through. Once they get in, they revert to their natural state.

Are you making a baseless ******* statement or are you just being an ******* making a baseless statement?

Same for the SMS motivated statement that cops shoot people because the cop's out of shape. Prove that douchbaggery isn't just a reflection of the person posting it.

BillReilly
06-22-2012, 01:33 PM
Are you making a baseless ******* statement or are you just being an ******* making a baseless statement?



No, I'm not doing either of those, but thanks for asking. I hope that clears things up for you!

JRT6
06-22-2012, 01:37 PM
No, I'm not doing either of those, but thanks for asking. I hope that clears things up for you!

No it dosen't. You made a dick statement and not owning up to it just makes you a dick.

BillReilly
06-22-2012, 02:30 PM
No it dosen't. You made a dick statement and not owning up to it just makes you a dick.

I went back and re-read my posts in this thread. No mention of dicks, penis, nothin'. Maybe you're thinking of someone else?

I stand by every word I posted. If you have evidence to the contrary, I'm happy to read it.

JRT6
06-22-2012, 02:39 PM
I stand by every word I posted. If you have evidence to the contrary, I'm happy to read it.

No you're not goint to turn this around, you made the assertion so you prove it. Prove what you said about publc safety forces is true and that you weren't just being a dick.

Your screen name just needs an O' in to make it the same as that blowhard on FOX. Throws **** out just to get a reaction and when it comes back he just shouts people down and then tries to deflect with red herrings.

SP1966
06-22-2012, 02:54 PM
No you're not goint to turn this around, you made the assertion so you prove it. Prove what you said about publc safety forces is true and that you weren't just being a dick.

I didn't read anything he said as implying that all of them are lazy, just that it is an attractive job to those without much ambition, and I cannot really argue with that statement.


Your screen name just needs an O' in to make it the same as that blowhard on FOX. Throws **** out just to get a reaction and when it comes back he just shouts people down and then tries to deflect with red herrings.

LMAO, and here we go! Resorting to name calling, always an effective way to win an debate. So you disagree with what he said, why? Or are you just gong to call names and act like an idiot?

BillReilly
06-22-2012, 03:00 PM
No you're not goint to turn this around, you made the assertion so you prove it. Prove what you said about publc safety forces is true and that you weren't just being a dick.

Ah, you're a cop. That explains it.

Cops do not work too hard compared to many other jobs with similar requirements. That's not a fact anyone with eyes would dispute. If that gives you the boo-hoos, maybe you should see someone about it.

itsagoodday
06-22-2012, 03:40 PM
I once worked at a company whose security guard was the tiniest little old lady. She walked slow, talked slow and had coke bottle glasses. She was also armed to the teeth, and for all I know was a crack shot. And she was darned cute, so I figured criminals might have stopped what they were doing to help her get out of her chair.

JRT6
06-22-2012, 03:54 PM
Ah, you're a cop. That explains it.

Cops do not work too hard compared to many other jobs with similar requirements. That's not a fact anyone with eyes would dispute. If that gives you the boo-hoos, maybe you should see someone about it.

Hmmm does your job mean you amount to anything? What do you do for a living?


I love how people preface their steroptypes with " there are bad people along with good in [insert job here]" as if that isn't true of every job. Don't play the vicitim Bill you started the ad-homens.

We're all still waiting for your profound proof there Bill.

Brackneyc
06-22-2012, 04:08 PM
Brackney, what did the military think was yer ideal weight?

IIRC, it was about 160 or so. As you get older, they allow more weight. Went in when I was 17. I dropped 26lbs in BT, down to 165. I was thin at 165, but very weak.

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a165/brackney/SCAN0002.jpg

Below is a pic of me at what was then most likely my best. Thinking I was about 186 in this pic, give or take. I took more grief at this weight than you could imagine. I could do the 2 mile run in 12 minutes flat, do 84 pushups in two minutes and 80 situps in two minutes. Hit the scale, end up in trouble every time.

danap3681
06-22-2012, 04:17 PM
IIRC, it was about 160 or so. As you get older, they allow more weight. Went in when I was 17. I dropped 26lbs in BT, down to 165. I was thin at 165, but very weak.

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a165/brackney/SCAN0002.jpg

Below is a pic of me at what was then most likely my best. Thinking I was about 186 in this pic, give or take. I took more grief at this weight than you could imagine. I could do the 2 mile run in 12 minutes flat, do 84 pushups in two minutes and 80 situps in two minutes. Hit the scale, end up in trouble every time.

See that there noody calendar on your wall there :)

SP1966
06-22-2012, 04:19 PM
See that there noody calendar on your wall there :)

Grounds for banage!! :eek:

IronCharles
06-22-2012, 04:44 PM
I once worked at a company whose security guard was the tiniest little old lady. She walked slow, talked slow and had coke bottle glasses. She was also armed to the teeth, and for all I know was a crack shot. And she was darned cute, so I figured criminals might have stopped what they were doing to help her get out of her chair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB7iz1HTh9U

BillReilly
06-22-2012, 04:46 PM
Hmmm does your job mean you amount to anything?

Beats me. I'm not even sure what you're asking so I'll go with "maybe" as my answer.


What do you do for a living?

I'm a programmer. Before that I was quantitative analyst.



I love how people preface their steroptypes with " there are bad people along with good in [insert job here]" as if that isn't true of every job.

I like riddles.


Don't play the vicitim Bill you started the ad-homens.

Good advice and I did not start the ad-homens. It was running before I showed up.


We're all still waiting for your profound proof there Bill.

You may want to come back later as I'm getting ready to go out.

Brackneyc
06-22-2012, 04:47 PM
Grounds for banage!! :eek:

If it happens, I'll take the ban. I was a 20 year old soldier. No apologies. :)

Awwe
06-22-2012, 04:48 PM
ever tried to shoot a fat guard?
impossible, you just cant hit them... their too fast and too thin

danap3681
06-22-2012, 06:33 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB7iz1HTh9U

Shoot him in his toodles... LOL! Reminds me of the intro to Eddie Murphy Raw... "and he kicked him in the ding-ding"

Bando
06-22-2012, 07:57 PM
http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv321/bjfeen/mallcop.jpg

I wanted to find a pic of the obese wal-mart security guard on a scooter, but I'm not having any luck. So I'll use this as a placeholder until I find it

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MD9X31G6k8A/T44NWyg1TgI/AAAAAAAAAkc/kKG_koZoGZc/s1600/rabbit_pancake.jpg

itsagoodday
06-22-2012, 08:09 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB7iz1HTh9U

ROFL! Josephine, is that you?

LisaSkinnoble
06-22-2012, 08:11 PM
One of my favorite books as a kid. They were fat back in the day, not much different than today.

http://www.alephbet.com/pictures/1343_1.JPG



In all fairness, there are a lot of cops that are in excellent shape. Some of the better built folks who post here are LEOs.

I agree about the LEO's. Fully. Most I see are in great shape!

But I just had to post because I had that book as a child, Charles. Last year we cleaned out the garage, and I did purge a lot. That book was in the charity box, and when we got to the Salvation Army, I actually took it out of the box and kept it. Such memories!

badclams
06-27-2012, 09:38 AM
What about the size of paramedics and nurses ? I dont think I ever seen a skinny EMT.

MiamiSpartan
06-27-2012, 12:07 PM
I used to notice that about the cops while growing up in Chicago in the 70s, too...
Sitting at OHare once waiting for someone to come into town, when my younger sister (probably 13 at the time) says, "I sure hope these guys don't ever have to chase anyone...."
:)
As a general rule, they seem to be in much better shape down here....

cozener
06-27-2012, 06:44 PM
ya know my brother and I just mentioned something about this the other day..seems like the state boys are young and in shape, the city police not so much: some in good shape and some pudgy and then there are the sherriff boys..most of them seem to be out of shape around here.That's how it appears to be here in KY too. The state troopers are lean and mean, the local cops not so much. But then I don't see a lot of fat cops around Louisville, at least not any more. 20 years ago I saw it more often.

JRT6
06-28-2012, 06:09 PM
Contrary to the suppositiions of guy who makes his observations behind a key board and whose only professional contribution to making the world a better place is by getting porn viruses off work computers the reasons why some cops are fit and some aren't is not a simple issue. There are many variables but in a nut shell cops are a reflection of society. A cop doesn't get into law enforcement to workout anymore than the public choses their occupations and being on the job dosen't motivate cops to do something they would otherwise have no interest in. Cities and counties for the most part will never pay guys to workout or even foot the bill for a gym membership. The obesity rate of cops is the same as any other seditary profression.

State Patrols have make troopers sign contracts mandating a body fat level but they put out with workout reinbursements, fixed working shifts, paid time in the gym, dietary assistance, etc. It's not cheap.


Let me add that the sterotypical 'how does a fat cop chase anyone?', isn't even valid. In real life foot chasing someone is good way to get yourself killed the moment you lose sight of them because they turned a corner. I don't know many people who can out run a radio.

BillReilly
06-28-2012, 06:20 PM
The obesity rate of cops is the same as any other seditary profression.



Well, at least you finally fessed up about it.

JRT6
06-28-2012, 06:56 PM
Well, at least you finally fessed up about it.

Is seditary 99% of the time. The other 1%, you know like trying to stop someone from killing you, is life and death stress and extreme physical demand. The constant adrenaline dumps of calls then having to come down. Over and over again for 33 years. Yeah Billyboy just keep pulling **** out your ass and don't give an inch.

I got to hand it to you, you got a knack for being obnoxious and overbearing. A persistant one at that. Playing on the internet for a living has served you well.

JRT6
06-28-2012, 07:03 PM
BTW Billy, since your so righteous in your judgement about the personal appearance of so many people you have never met how come you don't have any photos of you on this body building website?

NitrogenWidget
06-29-2012, 10:01 AM
We always called them Rent-a-Cops around here:) My dad was head of security at a wood plant here until he was 73 years old but he was in good shape and walked miles and miles each day. They had to punch in at different areas around the plant so they didn't just sit around.

But... lots of them around here are definitely out of shape. As are our sherrifs and city cops. City is in dire need of police so I think as long as they apply they get hired. We have a State Trooper Training Academy here and I can say for a fact our troopers are in shape. I see them working out and running around the track at the academy.

We used to call them "morts" when we were kids. Don't know why.
And my city is the same.
If their literate enough to fill their name in on the form & can run a few blocks without having a heart attack their in.

Sadly, lot's of people can't do either or both that apply according to my buddy on the force.

Brackneyc
06-29-2012, 10:38 AM
We used to call them "morts" when we were kids. Don't know why.
And my city is the same.
If their literate enough to fill their name in on the form & can run a few blocks without having a heart attack their in.

Sadly, lot's of people can't do either or both that apply according to my buddy on the force.

Our LEO are not a bunch of fatties at all. Getting on the force here is not easy in the slightest, and is quite grueling. I have seen some "bigger" cops, but these guys tend to be nearing the end of their careers. They tend to bring things to the table which are as (or more) valuable as being able to run down a shoplifter on foot.

philipj
06-29-2012, 12:35 PM
I worked for an internal security company. We were owned by the company who properties we took care of, so no half moon patches etc. I was a Veteran, worked as a Deputy sheriff and had 35 years of law enforcement experience. At my age I was not the best conditioned man there, most worked as forrest Fire men on call out all summer long. There were no out of shapes there. We all could climb nine floors of stairs faster than you can.

When I became a policeman, I was told to put on 20 lbs, reason you will be in less fight, make easier arrests if you look a little larger. It did work.

Your complaint comes into existence because most guard companies are corporation with many layers of management who main thought is to pay the actual guard as little as possible. Thus many of the guards are retirees. A lesson most people do not know is that it is more important who sees the guard, than who the guard sees. Sounds confusing, it isn't; it is a fact. The visibility of the guard is a prevention, that works better than many people will ever know, unless they really study the situation.

At one time I was hired to be the provide personal security for the retired head of the Syrian Air Force while he was in the USA.

Sami76
06-29-2012, 12:41 PM
Ever watch that COPS show? In just about every episode I've seen there's always some (reasonably fit looking) cop out of breath after a chase while the perp is looking like joe cool. Not saying the cops shouldn't be a little breathless after running, but it's a strange thing when compared with the perp who's so laid back.

Marius_Ursus
06-29-2012, 12:49 PM
Our LEO are not a bunch of fatties at all. Getting on the force here is not easy in the slightest, and is quite grueling. I have seen some "bigger" cops, but these guys tend to be nearing the end of their careers. They tend to bring things to the table which are as (or more) valuable as being able to run down a shoplifter on foot.

Our state troopers are all in good shape, and most of the cops and sheriff's deputies are too. I can't remember seeing a fat cop since I moved to NY. Maybe it's different in the city...don't know.

In California, though...lotsa fat cops there.

Oceanside
06-29-2012, 01:50 PM
I'd make a crappy cop..

no way in hell I'd run after a shoplifter or someone who stole something..