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View Full Version : What do married brahs think of this statement...



NATTYPB
06-10-2012, 09:04 PM
"You're not supposed to marry the girl of your dreams, you're supposed to marry the mother of your children."

I got married 6 months ago and it has been great. My wife and I are a perfect combination for each other. However I sometimes talk to my single friends or listen to guys on the MISC and they all say they wont marry a girl unless she is a 10/10, who likes to lift, fish, golf, and fix up old cars.(you get the idea)

Now I understand that it does SOMETIMES happen that you will meet a girl as i described above but most likely, you will meet a girl who might not enjoy the same hobbies you do, but is very kind, good with kids, good with your family, has similar goals for the future etc...I guess there has to be some type of balance...what do you all think???

Kraken
06-10-2012, 09:08 PM
The girl of my dreams ended up being a girl different than the girls of my dreams, if that makes sense. We never know what the girl of our dreams are until we truly meet THE woman.

WHen I met my wife, I didn't know she was the one. It wasnt until later that it hit me like a truck...this woman is the one.

If I am even half the father that she is as a mother, then I am doing good.

Jtbny
06-10-2012, 09:13 PM
My wife and I share similar interests with some things, but not everything and I like that! One thing I learned early on...don't listen to your single friends when it comes to relationships, there is a reason why they are your single friends ;)

Frnkd
06-10-2012, 09:27 PM
My wife and I share similar interests with some things, but not everything and I like that! One thing I learned early on...don't listen to your single friends when it comes to relationships, there is a reason why they are your single friends ;)

^^^^^ this, most of my friends are still single, I cannot imagine where I would be if I listened to them too. Got married at 27.
28 years later still married to the same wonderful woman. We share many interest together, including our interest in staying healthy, she goes to her yoga classes, and me to the gym.

Karl_Hungus
06-10-2012, 09:31 PM
or listen to guys on the MISC and they all say they wont marry a girl unless she is a 10/10, who likes to lift, fish, golf, and fix up old cars.(you get the idea)


I hate to break this to you buddy, but the misc is replete with morons. If you are seriously getting advice from dipsh!ts in the misc, than you must not be the sharpest tool in the shed either....

Kraken
06-10-2012, 09:36 PM
I hate to break this to you buddy, but the misc is replete with morons.

Agreed. There are times that misc has entertained me, but I think my IQ has dropped a few after being in there too long. It's been maybe a year since I was in that forum. I don't feel I am missing anything.

Redstyx
06-10-2012, 09:41 PM
OP- those single friends and all these misc idiots will one day realize those women of their dreams..... don't exist...... at least not for them. Anyone that makes such a stupid statement, as if those standards are an absolute must...... still has a lot of maturing to do. Reality is, once they grow up, they need to find someone who compliments their traits.... balances them out.

Me- Untrusting/cynical/paranoid
Her- More trusting/gives people benefit of the doubt/ not paranoid

There still need to be shared interest though, activities you both enjoy, causes you both support. You don't have to agree with her on everything though.

JBjunior
06-10-2012, 09:46 PM
I hate to break this to you buddy, but the misc is replete with morons. If you are seriously getting advice from dipsh!ts in the misc, than you must not be the sharpest tool in the shed either....

This. People hung up on "alpha and beta" so much that they alpha themselves out of happiness. Think in the context of goals: Is your life meeting your goals? Does your wife meet your needs? If your needs are being met and her needs are being met, boom.... happiness everywhere.

flairon
06-10-2012, 09:50 PM
Mine makes up for my deficiencies and she says I hers.

She smooths out my coarseness, I harden up her too trusting gooey center.

My granny always used to say that behind every good man is a good woman rolling her eyes, yep..thats about the size of it.

MyAvatar
06-10-2012, 09:51 PM
I don't agree with it honestly. I am not marrying for the purpose of children. I am marrying for the purpose of having a life-long partner. Everyone is different though.

Kraken
06-10-2012, 09:57 PM
I don't agree with it honestly. I am not marrying for the purpose of children. I am marrying for the purpose of having a life-long partner. Everyone is different though.

This actually brings up something I had forgotten when reading this. One of the best pieces of advice I Have ever gotten from someone, is that a successful marriage starts and ends with the husband and the wife, NOT the children. Regardless of whether you have children or not, this one important thing is about keeping the marriage going and happy. Then, with kids, happy parents, happy kids. They grow up in a happy home. The second a marriage starts revolving around the kids, parents start becoming unhappy, then that negatively affects the kids.

hochspeyer
06-11-2012, 07:55 AM
If your spouse is not your best friend, then you're doin' it wrong. Seriously. If you look at the distorted views (to me, anyway) that television/cable/entertainment present, you can see why couples don't last: they believe that the boob tube is somehow a reflection of reality, when it fact it's much more like a funhouse mirror that is on the screen.

mslman71
06-11-2012, 08:12 AM
I hate to break this to you buddy, but the misc is replete with morons.

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. It's easy for dumbasses on the internet to dole out judgement and advice - there's nothing at stake for them.

powernpain
06-11-2012, 08:14 AM
Not sure if you would want to do every activity together although fine if it works. Having different interest gives you the opportunity to complement each other. As far as taking advice from the single boys, well its like taking instructions from a yoga guru on squatting, might work, not likely.

I know for a fact all I need is her by my side, simple, carefree, and Iam as happy as can be, everything else is the icing on the cake. I appreciate it, don't need it, only her. For me that's 10/10.

Brackneyc
06-11-2012, 08:30 AM
I think I need to be the man of my wife's dreams. Been married almost 24 years. Still pretty new to it, so time will tell.

flairon
06-11-2012, 08:39 AM
Not sure if you would want to do every activity together although fine if it works. Having different interest gives you the opportunity to complement each other. As far as taking advice from the single boys, well its like taking instructions from a yoga guru on squatting, might work, not likely.

I know for a fact all I need is her by my side, simple, carefree, and Iam as happy as can be, everything else is the icing on the cake. I appreciate it, don't need it, only her. For me that's 10/10.

This.

There's nothing wrong with having common interests you enjoy together, but you can have too much of anything, and you are still seperate individuals who have different minds an opinions. There's some things I do and she doesn't really get into, same for her and thats cool.

To me the biggest mistake i always see people do is when they get a job with or start a business with their spouse. Don't get me wrong I've seen some do it and work out just fine, but most of the people I see that do this usually hate it because you're always seeing this person. I don't care how much you love someone, you're not going to want to see them every single minute of the day without a break. You need some you time, she needs some her time.

Brackneyc
06-11-2012, 08:50 AM
I forgt to comment on the original statement....

Sounds dumb. The woman of your dreams hopefully will be the mother of your kids. Otherwise, good luck.

x-trainer ben
06-11-2012, 09:02 AM
"You're not supposed to marry the girl of your dreams, you're supposed to marry the mother of your children."

I got married 6 months ago and it has been great. My wife and I are a perfect combination for each other. However I sometimes talk to my single friends or listen to guys on the MISC and they all say they wont marry a girl unless she is a 10/10, who likes to lift, fish, golf, and fix up old cars.(you get the idea)

Now I understand that it does SOMETIMES happen that you will meet a girl as i described above but most likely, you will meet a girl who might not enjoy the same hobbies you do, but is very kind, good with kids, good with your family, has similar goals for the future etc...I guess there has to be some type of balance...what do you all think???


"what do you all think???"
Well i think in your teens and 20's( for some 30's) you have a general idea/fantasy about what ms. right looks like, acts like, and is in to for fun. You try out lots of people and find one that you "click" with and settle down (not settle). It is sort of a fantasy vs. reality with a few guys marrying the fantasy. The real question is if it has staying power. So if you want kids(not everyone does) then finding the mom for your kids is key.

flairon
06-11-2012, 09:44 AM
"what do you all think???"
Well i think in your teens and 20's( for some 30's) you have a general idea/fantasy about what ms. right looks like, acts like, and is in to for fun. You try out lots of people and find one that you "click" with and settle down (not settle). It is sort of a fantasy vs. reality with a few guys marrying the fantasy. The real question is if it has staying power. So if you want kids(not everyone does) then finding the mom for your kids is key.

I don't think any guy every marries the fantasy...that's why its fantasy. That goes for males and females too. Prince (or princess) charming is a fictional character, everyone has flaws. Some serious, some not so much.

induced_drag
06-11-2012, 09:48 AM
I don't think any guy every marries the fantasy...that's why its fantasy. That goes for males and females too. Prince (or princess) charming is a fictional character, everyone has flaws. Some serious, some not so much.

Sorry....but I did. My wife is it for me. As cheesy as it sounds......I dont know that I would want any other woman. (most of my friends would probably say my wife is it for them too! :D ) She has that effect on people....just stunningly naturally pretty she almost glows. It really is a reflection of her whole character. She is a very unique creature in that as pretty as she is, she really does not know it. It is almost funny.






This might sound silly....but I knew when I met her at 17 that she was the one I wanted to marry. We dated for 3 years in high-school/college and then I had about 8 years to experience 'other things', all the while knowing that she was the one for me.

She is a a great person, great mother, and the fact that she is gorgeous is just a bonus! (at least to me she is). She is a very pretty girl....and the amazing thing...is she is even prettier on the inside as she is out.

I honestly dont think it could be any better..... Well I have the complaints that ALL men have....but that just comes with any marriage :D. Women and men are wired a little different for sure! But the good with the bad, I would not have it any other way.

-=FLEX=-
06-11-2012, 09:54 AM
"You're not supposed to marry the girl of your dreams, you're supposed to marry the mother of your children."

I got married 6 months ago and it has been great. My wife and I are a perfect combination for each other. However I sometimes talk to my single friends or listen to guys on the MISC and they all say they wont marry a girl unless she is a 10/10, who likes to lift, fish, golf, and fix up old cars.(you get the idea)

Now I understand that it does SOMETIMES happen that you will meet a girl as i described above but most likely, you will meet a girl who might not enjoy the same hobbies you do, but is very kind, good with kids, good with your family, has similar goals for the future etc...I guess there has to be some type of balance...what do you all think???


Compatibility >>> Looks

If you are going to have any chance at a long term relationship with a woman you need to be sexually, spiritually and financially compatible. If you can find a woman that has all that and is a 10/10 in your eyes then you won the jackpot.

Like I did. :D

so-tex
06-11-2012, 09:56 AM
Been married to the same beautiful woman for 24 years. We do have different interests, but at the end of the day, she is my best friend and lover.

Brackneyc
06-11-2012, 09:58 AM
Sorry....but I did. My wife is it for me. As cheesy as it sounds......I dont know that I would want any other woman. (most of my friends would probably say my wife is it for them too! :D ) She has that effect on people....just stunningly naturally pretty she almost glows. It really is a reflection of her whole character. She is a very unique creature in that as pretty as she is, she really does not know it. It is almost funny.






This might sound silly....but I knew when I met her at 17 that she was the one I wanted to marry. We dated for 3 years in high-school/college and then I had about 8 years to experience 'other things', all the while knowing that she was the one for me.

She is a a great person, great mother, and the fact that she is gorgeous is just a bonus! (at least to me she is). She is a very pretty girl....and the amazing thing...is she is even prettier on the inside as she is out.

I honestly dont think it could be any better..... Well I have the complaints that ALL men have....but that just comes with any marriage :D. Women and men are wired a little different for sure! But the good with the bad, I would not have it any other way.


Oddly enough, it sounds like we married the same woman. :D

My wife and I dated for two full weeks before I suggested to her that we make this more permanent. 23.5 years later, I still wonder how this all happened to someone me) with so little to offer at the time.

Bo_Flecks
06-11-2012, 10:07 AM
...the girl of your dreams...

You mean, "Stepford Wife"? (if you are unaware, OP... Google it)


...listen to guys on the MISC...

lulz

induced_drag
06-11-2012, 10:07 AM
Oddly enough, it sounds like we married the same woman. :D

My wife and I dated for two full weeks before I suggested to her that we make this more permanent. 23.5 years later, I still wonder how this all happened to someone me) with so little to offer at the time.

I am a believer in 'chemistry'. There are levels that we operate on that we do not even realize. Our bodies can sense the genetic compatibility with others they say by smell etc. Not really quasi-science.... proven in science.

Again....I know that from my experience, my condition is not the 'norm'. Many marriages, including the ones of many of my friends, are ones that just happened. Although they 'love' their spouses, there is not a truly deep connection there....the story-book type.

I would truly walk barefoot over an entire continent if it meant that I could only spend a day with her. It does sound crazy...but really....there is a switch that flipped when I met her, as young as I was, and despite being with many other women, no one has even come close to her. Had I not married her, I would have spent the rest of my life thinking about her.

OK enough sappy stuff....anyway...it does exist....just not very common.

flairon
06-11-2012, 10:21 AM
Sorry....but I did. My wife is it for me. As cheesy as it sounds......I dont know that I would want any other woman. (most of my friends would probably say my wife is it for them too! :D ) She has that effect on people....just stunningly naturally pretty she almost glows. It really is a reflection of her whole character. She is a very unique creature in that as pretty as she is, she really does not know it. It is almost funny.






This might sound silly....but I knew when I met her at 17 that she was the one I wanted to marry. We dated for 3 years in high-school/college and then I had about 8 years to experience 'other things', all the while knowing that she was the one for me.

She is a a great person, great mother, and the fact that she is gorgeous is just a bonus! (at least to me she is). She is a very pretty girl....and the amazing thing...is she is even prettier on the inside as she is out.

I honestly dont think it could be any better..... Well I have the complaints that ALL men have....but that just comes with any marriage :D. Women and men are wired a little different for sure! But the good with the bad, I would not have it any other way.

Sounds like a great woman and you made a good choice.

When I say 'fantasy' im talking like the fantasy that places like the big misc have of the 'perfect woman'. The supermodel that is as loyal as an irish setter, doesn't know she's beautiful who is a millionaire looking for a guy to help spend her money and they are usually found driving around in their ferrari with a bit of coke sprinkled on their fake breasts by her equally hot supermodel faked breasted friend who is really interested in a 3way back in their palatial mansion that they share with 10 other supermodel best friends who are all burgeoning porn-stars in their off time from Harvard law.

Brackneyc
06-11-2012, 10:23 AM
Sounds like a great woman and you made a good choice.

When I say 'fantasy' im talking like the fantasy that places like the big misc have of the 'perfect woman'. The supermodel that is as loyal as an irish setter, doesn't know she's beautiful who is a millionaire looking for a guy to help spend her money and they are usually found driving around in their ferrari with a bit of coke sprinkled on their fake breasts by her equally hot supermodel faked breasted friend who is really interested in a 3way back in their palatial mansion that they share with 10 other supermodel best friends who are all burgeoning porn-stars in their off time from Harvard law.

I am sure those are the women they "think" of while they are "fantasizing" in the basement of their parents houses.

bodyhard
06-11-2012, 11:06 AM
You never know who you are going to fall in love with. Me, I love dark skin women with black hair and green eyes. I fell in love with a white woman, blonde hair and blue eyes 30 years ago and still love her to death to this day.... You marry the woman/girl you fall in love with, period.

dbx
06-11-2012, 11:11 AM
. You marry the woman/girl you fall in love with, period.

This ^.

Everything else is fluff...........

And btw, get used to the idea that almost everything in life is actually a form of compromise, whether we see it as such...or not.