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View Full Version : Ever have an AWKWARD moment?



Big_Sky_Guy
06-06-2012, 11:08 AM
I just had one!

I am running errands a few minutes ago, a bit distracted after being out of town for the past week with Guards. A million little things need done in an ocean of white noise, and I am excited to pull heavy deads tonight.

I stopped at a grocery store to grab some beef-brocolli and rice and grabbed a fountain drink, which summarily foamed over and made a bit of a mess. I walked down the hall and into the first restroom, rinsed off my hand and was grabbing some paper towels and in walks the cashier I had just paid. A decent looking 25 YO lady and my first thought is, 'Why are you coming into the men's room?' followed with, 'She's bold', then I remembered how old I am and though, 'What, I am cleaning up my mess.'

She smiles and says, "Um, your in the women's restroom dude!" (I'll take dude over sir any day) DAMN- I'M IN THE LADIES RESTROOM! So, I say, "Nice! Just cleaning up after my soda mishap." and wander back down to finish wiping up the counter and then on my merry way.

So, come over to my restroom, lay down on the couch, and tell us your AWKWARD moments in life...


Happy Hump-Day!

frozensparky
06-06-2012, 11:43 AM
When I was in my mid twenties I was walking to the front door of the local mall. Spotted 2 rather good looking females standing outside chatting so I continued trying to check them out as I entered the mall. Needless to say the doors were "pull" instead of "push". Hit the door so hard all windows shook violently, girls laughed wildly, left self respect behind as I scurried inside as red in the face as you've ever seen.

IronCharles
06-06-2012, 11:46 AM
Ever have an AWKWARD moment?No. I pay my subconscious mind very well to suppress those kinds of things!

Big_Sky_Guy
06-06-2012, 12:00 PM
He once had an awkward moment just to know what it was like...


I'm so old and past most things that I did not even bat an eye or turn red when the gal stood their smiling. Hell, I thought it was kinda funny! That's why I shared it.

Now, had the women stepped out of the stall and screamed GTFO, then I might have been a bit red from the adrenaline rush. But certainly not from embarassment.

theKurp
06-06-2012, 01:05 PM
When I was young and living in the Virgin Islands I frequently hitched rides from people. One day a car stops, I get in, and the lady yells at me to get out. Puzzled, I asked her why she stopped the car if it wasn't to give me a ride. "Because I always stop at STOP signs you idiot", she said.

-=FLEX=-
06-06-2012, 01:11 PM
I had an awkward moment that lasted 4 years; I think some people refer to it as "Highschool".

mslman71
06-06-2012, 01:11 PM
I'm probably not aware enough to pick up on what should have been awkward moments. So, other than the occasional fart in the squat rack, none that I can think of.

edit: actually recently, I was between two very nice looking women on treadmills, doing a 10 minute warmup or something, and one of the two of them let go of the most horrible noxious gas. It would have made my dogs proud it was that bad. Both of them crinkled their noses up and whichever one didn't do it was certainly thinking it was me. There was nothing I could do but go ahead and take the fall.

RonaldCrawford
06-06-2012, 01:37 PM
Was dating this girl once during my early 20's and she invited to her home after a few dates. It was pretty late one evening as we watched TV alone in the living room snuggling up with each other. She got up from the couch and invited me to come upstairs but asked me to give her a few minutes so she could "freshen up a bit". I made my way upstairs after a few minutes through the dark hallway and into the dark bedroom. After several minutes of super intense "extra curricular activities" had passed, I got up and made my way to the bathroom. It was dark up there, really dark but I managed to find the light-switch to the bathroom. The light came on in the bathroom and I heard a voice shortly thereafter from the room directly across from me telling me to hurry up and get in there. The voice - the girl I was dating - told me that she figured her 92 year old grandmother must have asked me to move some furniture around because of the thumping noise in her bedroom so she waited patiently until I was done helping her granny... YUCK!!!! :)


This was a ficticious story folks, I just couldn't help myself. :D

danap3681
06-06-2012, 02:37 PM
Getting caught "full squat" relieving myself in the alley way behind Taco Bell by the Po-Po! Squad car pulled up right behind me with the bright lights on. He bailed out while I was still going. He had to wait for me to wipe before he told me he could take me in for "indecent exposure". He let me off with a warning seeing as how I was polite enough to throw my tissue in the dumpster & not be a litter bug. :)

Big_Sky_Guy
06-06-2012, 02:40 PM
Getting caught "full squat" relieving myself in the alley way behind Taco Bell by the Po-Po! Squad car pulled up right behind me with the bright lights on. He bailed out while I was still going. He had to wait for me to wipe before he told me he could take me in for "indecent exposure". He let me off with a warning seeing as how I was polite enough to throw my tissue in the dumpster & not be a litter bug. :)


Way to go Gurl Scout! Packing tissue!

And being a member of the green team and throwing it away ;)

danap3681
06-06-2012, 02:43 PM
Way to go Gurl Scout! Packing tissue!

And being a member of the green team and throwing it away ;)
Living in the country you must be ready at all times. Even if we venture into the city to get Taco Bell. Couple of rolls of Charmin in my vehicle... thats the way we roll.

Big_Sky_Guy
06-06-2012, 02:47 PM
Living in the country you must be ready at all times. Even if we venture into the city to get Taco Bell. Couple of rolls of Charmin in my vehicle... thats the way we roll.

I see what you rolled there!



Every glove box, seat pocket, first aid kit, hydration pack, backpack, and even the bike kits have either TP or wet wipes! Wife never leaves the house unprepared....grass and t-shirts just don't seem to do the job.

charliedgk
06-06-2012, 03:01 PM
I was waiting with my mate outside boxxing once and my mates mum pulled up so I jumped in the back, I look up and a complete stranger is driving the car, we exchanged awkward looks then I look out the window and see my mate laughing at me and realise its not his mum to clollect us

So embarrassed!

latebloomingmom
06-06-2012, 03:09 PM
Living in the country you must be ready at all times. Even if we venture into the city to get Taco Bell. Couple of rolls of Charmin in my vehicle... thats the way we roll. I completely agree with this ^^^^^ had a roll of tissue under my back seat since potty training days:)

danap3681
06-06-2012, 03:26 PM
I see what you rolled there!

grass and t-shirts just don't seem to do the job.

:) Your t-shirt or hers. Such a gentleman if you offer up yours to her in an emergency situation.

frozensparky
06-06-2012, 03:36 PM
I see what you rolled there!



Every glove box, seat pocket, first aid kit, hydration pack, backpack, and even the bike kits have either TP or wet wipes! Wife never leaves the house unprepared....grass and t-shirts just don't seem to do the job.



Reminds me of when I used to work in the bush in my twenties. Forgot half the time to carry TP so I would always end up coming home sleeveless. But I do have to say that a shirt sleeve holds up better in the rain than TP.

Big_Sky_Guy
06-06-2012, 08:59 PM
I must have at least 25 t-shirts as they are expendable in all situations!

Karl_Hungus
06-06-2012, 10:00 PM
I once had an awkward moment ..... just to see what it felt like.

Keep lifting my friends.

cowboybiker
06-06-2012, 10:07 PM
All I got was awkward moment.
You were caught in the ladies room.
Tried to say it was a mistake.


















Whatever you got to tell yourself to sleep at night bro.

hochspeyer
06-06-2012, 11:02 PM
The most interesting thing I'll ever admit to doing occurred whilst I was stationed in Germany. It was a Sunday morning. Snookums, our very young son and I were going somewhere but were going to pick up a copy of the "Stars and Stripes" (U.S. Forces newspaper) at the Shoppette before heading off base. At the time we owned a 1989 Honda Civic- very generic. My wife waited in the car while I ran in to get the paper. I came back out of the store, opened the door, and sat down. The seat felt odd. I looked to my right- the woman there was not my wife. I simultaneously saw past her profile another car, about three spaces down, my wife and our car. I mutered something like, "Sorry" to this woman and walked over to my family and our car. The car I had gotten into was virtually identical to ours- except it was an Accord.


I'm fairly certain I'll never live that one down.

V-240
06-06-2012, 11:17 PM
^^^

Hoch, the same thing happened to my dad in the 1960s, only there was a man in the car and it was in Cupertino. LOL

My mom was one car over, looking over and laughing. :D

tsoden
06-07-2012, 05:00 AM
High school, in the middle of an independent study session that was suppose to last an hour. Class of about 30 students...

I SNEEZE and FART and the SAME TIME.... Not only did it hurt like hell, but with all the stares I wanted to crawl under a rock and die that moment.

Big_Sky_Guy
06-07-2012, 09:19 AM
All I got was awkward moment.
You were caught in the ladies room.
Tried to say it was a mistake.


















Whatever you got to tell yourself to sleep at night bro.



I tell myself all sorts of things so I can sleep! ;)


Should I go make amends to the 25 YO who smiled so nicely while I stood in 'her' bathroom!?!

baker
06-07-2012, 04:18 PM
I accidentally took a dump in the wrong bathroom once. Had I picked a different stall perhaps the size 12 workboots wouldn't have gotten noticed.

:eek:

LennyRoper
06-07-2012, 04:28 PM
I once fcked my wife's mother when I was really drunk. She looks good for her age and she gives way better head then my wife too.

kimm4
06-07-2012, 04:39 PM
Women always take so godamn long in the bathroom stalls, I have to wonder what the heck the issue is? Seriously ladies, squat, piss and GTFO! I got so mad one night at a club waiting in the bathroom line, I got out of line and went into the guys bathroom. The minute I opened the door, they all looked up at me and the room went silent. Went into the stall, did my thing and left.

I didn't feel akward at all...but I think they did...;)

kimm4
06-07-2012, 04:44 PM
I once fcked my wife's mother when I was really drunk. She looks good for her age and she gives way better head then my wife too.

Wow, that didn't take long...

It's awful to say, but I actually LOL'd at this post...sorry...

Dave76
06-07-2012, 04:51 PM
Women always take so godamn long in the bathroom stalls, I have to wonder what the heck the issue is? Seriously ladies, squat, piss and GTFO! I got so mad one night at a club waiting in the bathroom line, I got out of line and went into the guys bathroom. The minute I opened the door, they all looked up at me and the room went silent. Went into the stall, did my thing and left.

I didn't feel akward at all...but I think they did...;)
I was on the other end of that experience at a George Strait concert in Dallas about 15 yrs ago. LOL, I had forgotten it, thanks for the reminder.

FWIW, all the guys cheered. They were drunk and we all knew it. Security followed them in and were waiting as they exited the stalls.

Bando
06-07-2012, 05:55 PM
Seriously ladies, squat, piss and GTFO!

perhaps they all have bad squat DOMS? http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111114020922/uncyclopedia/images/4/48/Trollface_small_normal2pl7.png

danap3681
06-08-2012, 08:18 AM
Women always take so godamn long in the bathroom stalls, I have to wonder what the heck the issue is? Seriously ladies, squat, piss and GTFO! I got so mad one night at a club waiting in the bathroom line, I got out of line and went into the guys bathroom. The minute I opened the door, they all looked up at me and the room went silent. Went into the stall, did my thing and left.

I didn't feel akward at all...but I think they did...;)

I have done this several times and it always seems to be at concerts or sporting events. The look on the guys faces standing at the urinals is always classic. But I don't have time for the primping ladies to get the heck out of the way. Most of the time the bathrooms are pretty nasty so if I decide it is a MUST that I go, I can't be waiting in line forever on some ladies who take way too long in the stalls.

Mr. Furious
06-08-2012, 10:31 AM
That awkward moment when someone says "hello" and you say "good, thanks."

When you say goodbye to someone and you both start walking off in the same direction.

Never, ever ask "So, when is the baby due?" to a woman you really don't know.

danap3681
06-08-2012, 10:44 AM
That awkward moment when someone says "hello" and you say "good, thanks."

When you say goodbye to someone and you both start walking off in the same direction.

Never, ever ask "So, when is the baby due?" to a woman you really don't know.

Or out of habit in telling your husband and son that you love them before you get off the phone... you tell your boss you love him before ending a call! :)

Or the very young teenage cashier at your grocery store (whom you know has no children) tells Happy Mothers Day and you reply "Thanks and the same to you".

Bando
06-08-2012, 06:37 PM
Never, ever ask "So, when is the baby due?" to a woman you really don't know.

It's OK to say that if you can see the baby actually coming out

Karl_Hungus
06-08-2012, 07:16 PM
That awkward moment when someone says "hello" and you say "good, thanks."

When you say goodbye to someone and you both start walking off in the same direction.


Or when somebody waves to you, and you wave back....only to realized that they waved to somebody behind you.


Never, ever ask "So, when is the baby due?" to a woman you really don't know.

Funny, my mother has done this MULTIPLE times when a woman wasn't actually pregnant. The reason why this shocks me...and makes me lol is that 1) after having this embarrassing mishap once, she continues to do it, and 2) She has been a nurse for a ob-gyn doctor for the last 30 years! She SHOULD be able to tell the difference... :D

Frnkd
06-09-2012, 03:06 AM
Trying to open a combination lock that looks like mine in the gym, and it turns out it's not my lock......and the owner is behind me watching this.

immuno
06-09-2012, 08:11 AM
Trying to open a combination lock that looks like mine in the gym, and it turns out it's not my lock......and the owner is behind me watching this.

lmao

Sami76
06-09-2012, 08:24 AM
When I was young and living in the Virgin Islands I frequently hitched rides from people. One day a car stops, I get in, and the lady yells at me to get out. Puzzled, I asked her why she stopped the car if it wasn't to give me a ride. "Because I always stop at STOP signs you idiot", she said.

LMAO, I can't stop giggling at this. Bet the lady always remembered to lock her car doors after that incident.

Corbi
06-09-2012, 09:13 AM
Women always take so godamn long in the bathroom stalls, I have to wonder what the heck the issue is? Seriously ladies, squat, piss and GTFO! I got so mad one night at a club waiting in the bathroom line, I got out of line and went into the guys bathroom. The minute I opened the door, they all looked up at me and the room went silent. Went into the stall, did my thing and left.

I didn't feel akward at all...but I think they did...;)

State Fair is always ridiculous for having massively long bathroom lines for the women, I have my wife do the same thing you did and use the mens as it's always empty. I will go in and stand by the stall door in case anyone ever tries to give her any $hit about it. Nobody has ever said a word.


As far as awkward moments, mine best one would have to be when I was married to my 1st wife. She was nuts..seriously was locked up 3 times in the mental ward..and every 4-5 months she would pull the ole "I don't love you and am moving in with my sister" well after about the 4th time I told her fine go, don't come back. She was gone for a few days and I went out, ran into this chick I had gone to school with and always liked. We hit it off well and long story short, we were in bed in the morning and who should come strolling in but the wife...awkward.

latebloomingmom
06-09-2012, 09:33 AM
State Fair is always ridiculous for having massively long bathroom lines for the women, I have my wife do the same thing you did and use the mens as it's always empty. I will go in and stand by the stall door in case anyone ever tries to give her any $hit about it. Nobody has ever said a word.


As far as awkward moments, mine best one would have to be when I was married to my 1st wife. She was nuts..seriously was locked up 3 times in the mental ward..and every 4-5 months she would pull the ole "I don't love you and am moving in with my sister" well after about the 4th time I told her fine go, don't come back. She was gone for a few days and I went out, ran into this chick I had gone to school with and always liked. We hit it off well and long story short, we were in bed in the morning and who should come strolling in but the wife...awkward.sooooo that would be a "I promise I do..." til ya go to your sister's house, in which case "I promise to do....whoever I can get my hands on" or am I reading that wrong?:)

Corbi
06-09-2012, 09:58 AM
sooooo that would be a "I promise I do..." til ya go to your sister's house, in which case "I promise to do....whoever I can get my hands on" or am I reading that wrong?:)

That was after quite a few yrs of her bullchit, way too long of a story to go into. Was shortly after that I told her to get the fuk out and don't come back.

latebloomingmom
06-09-2012, 10:00 AM
That was after quite a few yrs of her bullchit, way too long of a story to go into. Was shortly after that I told her to get the fuk out and don't come back.ya do know dat all da womenz be crazy ....to some extent right?:)