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View Full Version : Dieting Makes Socializing Difficult!!!



jam36
01-20-2011, 11:27 AM
I've been busting my rear for the last year trying to get my body fat levels down as low as possible. I'm just under 5'10" and weight 166 pounds, which is the lowest weight I've been at in years. My normal weight seems to be around 185-190 pounds.

I grew up as a fat kid and was picked on and teased tremendously up until about age 14, when I went on a hardcore diet and exercise regimen (of my own design).

After topping out at 224 pounds at age 14, I managed to get my weight down over the years to various weights, between 170-185. But, I've never managed to lose the "chubbiness"; No matter how light in weight I get, I still have very flabby body.

At 166 pounds, I STILL have way too much fat around my midsection (love handles/flanks) and on my upper arms and chest. Honestly, with the amount of food I currently eat and with my intense exercise regime, I can't see how I can get much lower in weight. But I'm trying. But now the for the problem:

Socialzing and going out with friends while trying to eat clean is HARDDDD!

A big problem for me is trying to eat a clean, careful diet while maintaining an active social life. It seems like so much of going out and being "social" revolves around food. Going to the movies, hanging out, going out to dinner/lunch, it's almost impossible to not blow a good diet while going out and doing these things.

How do you guys do it? How do you manage to go out with friends/family without blowing your diet?

Honestly, I find myself avoding most social outings because I find it too tempting to be around so much good food. Most of my friends are big eaters. Whether it's Korean BBQ, Italian, Mexican -- they all love good, sumptuous food.

And, not all of these friends are fat or overweight; many of them are lean/thin yet can still eat a lot. But I'm not that way. I have to struggle and sweat to earn every calorie that I can ingest. So it's highly frustrating for me.

I've definitely become much more anti-social over the years due to my need to follow such a strict diet and exercise regimen; I more often than not simply deem it more prudent to avoid social outings than to go and be tempted to blow my diet........It's hard to go out to dinner and simply order a salad and a small sandwich when everyone else is feasting, or to go to the movies and munch on carrot sticks when everyone is eating popcorn and candy....LOL........

Sometimes I think I should just say "forget it" and just eat and be happy. Because truthfully, all this diet and exercise is HARD work and it gets to me mentally. I can't go out and eat a "normal" restaurant meal or have a slice of pie or cake for dessert like so many people can, and it bugs the hell out of me! lol.........

Holidays, birthday parties, family outings/trips -- the innundation of food is constant. And it's depressing after a while to realize that you can't partake like so many people can.

Instead of winning the lottery I think I'd rather be blessed with a higher metabolism that allows me to eat an extra 500-600 calories a day.

Sorry if this comes off as such a rant. I'm just frustrated and HUNGRY at the moment!!!!!

CapitalG8
01-20-2011, 11:33 AM
im a VERY social person.

prior to going out w. my friends i make sure to eat. that way i can just chill w. em if they are eating.

if i do eat out w. them i pick something that fits in my macros for the day. i adjust my day knowing that i will be going to dinner.


the rest is just will power. ya its hard to sit there and watch your friend eat a pizza and cheeseburger but i just think of how hard i bust my ass at the gym and on my diet and fight through it.

bigollie2006
01-20-2011, 11:44 AM
I've been busting my rear for the last year trying to get my body fat levels down as low as possible. I'm just under 5'10" and weight 166 pounds, which is the lowest weight I've been at in years. My normal weight seems to be around 185-190 pounds.

I grew up as a fat kid and was picked on and teased tremendously up until about age 14, when I went on a hardcore diet and exercise regimen (of my own design).

After topping out at 224 pounds at age 14, I managed to get my weight down over the years to various weights, between 170-185. But, I've never managed to lose the "chubbiness"; No matter how light in weight I get, I still have very flabby body.

At 166 pounds, I STILL have way too much fat around my midsection (love handles/flanks) and on my upper arms and chest. Honestly, with the amount of food I currently eat and with my intense exercise regime, I can't see how I can get much lower in weight. But I'm trying. But now the for the problem:

Socialzing and going out with friends while trying to eat clean is HARDDDD!

A big problem for me is trying to eat a clean, careful diet while maintaining an active social life. It seems like so much of going out and being "social" revolves around food. Going to the movies, hanging out, going out to dinner/lunch, it's almost impossible to not blow a good diet while going out and doing these things.

How do you guys do it? How do you manage to go out with friends/family without blowing your diet?

Honestly, I find myself avoding most social outings because I find it too tempting to be around so much good food. Most of my friends are big eaters. Whether it's Korean BBQ, Italian, Mexican -- they all love good, sumptuous food.

And, not all of these friends are fat or overweight; many of them are lean/thin yet can still eat a lot. But I'm not that way. I have to struggle and sweat to earn every calorie that I can ingest. So it's highly frustrating for me.

I've definitely become much more anti-social over the years due to my need to follow such a strict diet and exercise regimen; I more often than not simply deem it more prudent to avoid social outings than to go and be tempted to blow my diet........It's hard to go out to dinner and simply order a salad and a small sandwich when everyone else is feasting, or to go to the movies and munch on carrot sticks when everyone is eating popcorn and candy....LOL........

Sometimes I think I should just say "forget it" and just eat and be happy. Because truthfully, all this diet and exercise is HARD work and it gets to me mentally. I can't go out and eat a "normal" restaurant meal or have a slice of pie or cake for dessert like so many people can, and it bugs the hell out of me! lol.........

Holidays, birthday parties, family outings/trips -- the innundation of food is constant. And it's depressing after a while to realize that you can't partake like so many people can.

Instead of winning the lottery I think I'd rather be blessed with a higher metabolism that allows me to eat an extra 500-600 calories a day.

Sorry if this comes off as such a rant. I'm just frustrated and HUNGRY at the moment!!!!!


Honestly I just dont go out. I used to go out alot, just about every night, but once I realized how much of a distraction "hanging out" really was to my health goals, I shaped up and hit my school, diet, and workout hard. It sucks telling your friends not tonight maybe next week all the time, but when you do go out people are usually very happy to see you and you have a generally better time because its not as frequent, and thats how I deal with it.

SLO
01-20-2011, 12:08 PM
I totally understand where you're coming from.

I constantly have to ask myself "is it worth it" to bust ass all week with diet and exercise, and then blow it by going out. What's especially frustrating is that after a bingeful day/weekend you're carrying a lot of extra water weight, and the scale can really read high for a few days. This puts you into panic mode and you really, really ramp up the diet and exercise routines to work it off.

You have to find some balance in life, and that's something I'm struggling with, a lot. Most of the time I just don't attend these situations, because to me, "it's not worth it."

coals
01-20-2011, 12:08 PM
Honestly I just dont go out. I used to go out alot, just about every night, but once I realized how much of a distraction "hanging out" really was to my health goals, I shaped up and hit my school, diet, and workout hard. It sucks telling your friends not tonight maybe next week all the time, but when you do go out people are usually very happy to see you and you have a generally better time because its not as frequent, and thats how I deal with it.

Story of my life srs. Repped.

@OP... Lol welcome to bodybuilding, theres a reason we're a rare breed.

Honestly i can say my life is headed in a much better direction since focusing on school and using bodybuilding as a substitute (not completely guys, but I dont stress over social behavior anymore). I'm happy that I can finally see its much better to live out the rest of your life content than to peak in your teens and early 20's and live the rest of your life in regret.


Oh and for my 1900th post i bring you:

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1246729603870.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244821422729.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244822207621.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244823062987.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244823085394.jpg

enjoy

TrainHardOrQuit
01-20-2011, 12:17 PM
u can't have everything..

what u can do is make new friends who have the same goals as u.

I still hang out with my old friends who eat like crap..they know what i eat and what i dont so when we go out n eat i always order diet soda..and none of that fried stuff...i'll order a huge steak instead

coals
01-20-2011, 12:25 PM
Yeah those are impossible to find. I've yet to find a single person IRL who lifts, diets, and otherwise engages in bodybuilding activities with the purpose getting stronger, leaner, and healthier with an intensity to match mine.

These boards are the only way I can get my BB social fix, cause its not happening with people I know IRL.

matt3x
01-20-2011, 01:02 PM
Yeah those are impossible to find. I've yet to find a single person IRL who lifts, diets, and otherwise engages in bodybuilding activities with the purpose getting stronger, leaner, and healthier with an intensity to match mine.

These boards are the only way I can get my BB social fix, cause its not happening with people I know IRL.

Maybe you should try the local gym?

Just an idea.

abnbk
01-20-2011, 01:03 PM
I always had this problem as well. I always go with my friend and its never healthy or I try to find something with some kind of health nutrition to enjoy or I just carry and drink a protein shake even though that not the best way to go. I am glad I found some guys that lift weight and stuff that understood me and now we are like brothers.

blazeheavy
01-20-2011, 01:11 PM
Story of my life srs. Repped.

@OP... Lol welcome to bodybuilding, theres a reason we're a rare breed.

Honestly i can say my life is headed in a much better direction since focusing on school and using bodybuilding as a substitute (not completely guys, but I dont stress over social behavior anymore). I'm happy that I can finally see its much better to live out the rest of your life content than to peak in your teens and early 20's and live the rest of your life in regret.


Oh and for my 1900th post i bring you:

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1246729603870.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244821422729.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244822207621.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244823062987.jpg
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244823085394.jpg

enjoy

thread got real

mvanil10
01-20-2011, 01:19 PM
I am sorry to hear a few of you pretty much abandon your social life or put it off due to your dieting/bodybuilding habits. Most of you are everyday Joe Schmoe's who work 8 to 5 Monday through Friday and have the weekends off. Unless you are prepping for a contest or for some other strict reason then putting off social events and being a hermit is not necessary.

I personally make it a goal to go out every weekend. I'll drink, go out to eat, and I've never had any issues. I'm certainly no Arnold or anything but I'm also not some lazy slob either. During the week I bust ass in the gym and I have never ruined my diet from one day. Even when I had an ED I still managed to not gain too much weight for God's sake. A successful diet is one that works in any situation and it's up to you to choose right when it comes to that. IMO, when you lose out on situations in your life due to your diet, your diet has failed you.

This is the only life you have - once it's over, it's over. You will never get a second chance again. You can always go out another night but you'll never get that night you stayed home eating chicken and broccoli back again. I know how important lifting is to most of us but years are flying by and as we get older so will that physique. It is good to stay in shape and workout - believe me on that. But it is even more important to go out with friends, have a good time, and cherish those moments and fun times that you are only handed once.

When your day comes and you're near the end of your life do you want to have memories of bodybuilding, being a hermit, and bodybuilding only? Or do you want to have memories of going out, doing crazy ****, and maintaining bodybuilding as a lifestyle?

shannonjacobs
01-20-2011, 02:04 PM
A view from a girl....
My bodybuilder boyfriend and I began dating three years ago. It has been a real eye opener. I went from miss party pants to granny panties. Lol! We go out once every other week. We pack our meals in a cooler and when it's time to eat go out to the car and eat. Drink water or diet pop and dance, laugh, live! I really like our life. Sure I miss out on some priceless moments but the ones I do experience are great. You sound like you have worked real hard on your body. Don't give it up for food and drinks. Bring your food or order staples. Potato- no butter, steak or chicken boob, some veggies. Any restaurant/ bar has the basics! Just have a game plan and enjoy life.

oldsmobile93
01-20-2011, 02:18 PM
Honestly I just dont go out. I used to go out alot, just about every night, but once I realized how much of a distraction "hanging out" really was to my health goals, I shaped up and hit my school, diet, and workout hard. It sucks telling your friends not tonight maybe next week all the time, but when you do go out people are usually very happy to see you and you have a generally better time because its not as frequent, and thats how I deal with it.

thats the best answer just stay home lol....

LetFearBeFriend
01-20-2011, 02:30 PM
I can really relate to you. Most of my friends, and my entire family eat very unhealthy. And I also enjoy going out, and socializing. It feels strange having to say no to their food. I know I'm doing a good thing, but then I get odd looks from everyone. Same thing at the grocery store, they see an unhealthy guy buying healthy food. Its just one of those things that will pass with time, as I slowly get into shape.

As for the balance of your diet, and keeping a healthy social life, I think that's what it need to be - a balance. Its important to assess your goals, and what you want out of life. If bodybuilding is the most important thing in your life, and if it brings you more happiness than anything else, then that is perfectly fine, and its probably your desire to stay home most days, and eat a clean diet.

But if that is not your goal, then like a poster pointed out above, I think its perfectly ok to enjoy a few beers, and food with your friends, as long as you keep your dieting in check for the week. As a beginner, I still have cheat days. But I know that it can sometimes become frustrating. Because 1 cheat meal can easily turn into 2, and so on.

I struggle with social life too recently. Its just difficult explaining to everyone why you can't hang out. Its also frustrating going to a restaurant, and seeing your friends eat burgers and fries, and so on.

Maybe you could try find a friend at a gym, or motivate/encourage one of your current friends to join you in bodybuilding. I've tried that numerous times, but failed. Personally, that would be the most benefit for me. That way, I'm not singled out during social occasions, and there is always someone who can relate to me.

sunngodd
01-20-2011, 02:33 PM
Stop trying to eat "clean" and start hitting your calorie goal and protein intake

In regards to your "flabiness" despite your "intense" exercise routine, I'm going to guess you need to focus on lifting heavy and maintaining/gaining strength. Working harrder doesn't necessarily equal working smarter.

oldsmobile93
01-20-2011, 02:52 PM
thats the best answer just stay home lol....

u are right though, when ur with the 'boys' there is beer and fried food everywhere. it sets u back, also u lose sleep ect. chillin' once every two weeks or what not, isnt so bad but u gotta dedicated urself if u want results. hard work and discipline.

stillhot
01-20-2011, 02:55 PM
yea, dedication.

jam36
01-20-2011, 04:10 PM
Stop trying to eat "clean" and start hitting your calorie goal and protein intake

In regards to your "flabiness" despite your "intense" exercise routine, I'm going to guess you need to focus on lifting heavy and maintaining/gaining strength. Working harrder doesn't necessarily equal working smarter.

Yeah, you might be right. I'd love to start focusing on lifting heavy right now to add muscle mass. In street clothes I look thin. People that remember me at my heavier weights often comment on how "thin" and skinny I look. But the problem, as I mentioned, is that I have these blubbery spots that are out of proportion to the rest of my body.

I carry mostly subcutaneous fat. I don't have much visceral fat. I've never had the classic "beer belly" or "gut", even when I was 220+ pounds. I was always just flabby and loose, with the love handles and flabby chest and triceps.

So, from a health standpoint, the lack of visceral fat is better, but from an aesthetic point of view, it's not so great. Even at 166 pounds at 5'10", I'm embarrassed to go shirtless because I have very flabby love handles and a mound of loose flesh right below the belly button.

I know guys who are 5'6, 5'7 and who weigh 210-220 who don't have the pinchable, loose fat that I do at 166 pounds. Guys like that seem to be lucky in that any type of fat gain seems to just make them look "thicker" and "stockier" without much flabbiness or looseness.

I worry that if I switch to lifting heavy and increasing my caloric intake, my current flabby areas will simply get flabbier.

itsabouttimee
01-20-2011, 04:32 PM
Story of my life srs. Repped.

@OP... Lol welcome to bodybuilding, theres a reason we're a rare breed.

Honestly i can say my life is headed in a much better direction since focusing on school and using bodybuilding as a substitute (not completely guys, but I dont stress over social behavior anymore). I'm happy that I can finally see its much better to live out the rest of your life content than to peak in your teens and early 20's and live the rest of your life in regret.


Oh and for my 1900th post i bring you:


http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd67/eg9beast/1244823062987.jpg


enjoy

who the girl in the pink? she hot

coals
01-20-2011, 05:19 PM
I picked an ass theme for the 1900th post.

I although i havent planned it, Rest assured the 2000th will be EPIC.

Oh and people at my gym fail at gym-ing. 90% of them are just typical new year resolutioners. While i hope they all stay and change their lives permanently for the better, its unlikely. And the ones that are into "health and fitness" really don't know anything about anything on the subject. The one guy i met (grew up in NY, worked and lifted at one of the very popular powerlifting/BB gyms in ny, met and trained with a lot of pro BBers then broke his back. Still the most ripped guy in our gym and probably strongest upper body lol.) lives 46 miles away and i rarely see him since i left that gym.

But really, i'm not mad. Never do i stop and think, man i wish i was friends with more people and spent less time bodybuilding. I have plenty of friends, and a few very very good friends (who arent into BB'ing but it doenst matter, we grew up together) that are like brothers (on top of my 3 real brothers lol). Honestly i'm content to just wake up, go to class, be the model student who seems to intimidate girls with his confidence (go figure) make people 'mire. Go to the gym solo, pump iron till i burst a vein in my forehead. Walk back to my house solo, giggling the whole time at the endorphin rush. Take a shower, study go to bed.

Call me boring but I never go to sleep wishing I'd done something productive that day. And its a lot better than get up, smoke some weed, eat some food, play some video games, rinse repeat.

bmukai83
01-20-2011, 05:56 PM
I totally feel you bro! I've more or less become a social hermit since I started training and eating healthy(er). It really does become difficult sometimes but when I really do need to get out I'll enjoy a diet soda, especially a diet sprite with a lime in it... (people rarely ask what I'm drinking then) and just chill for a few minutes. Although the lack of inebriation has made this a more rare occurrence over the last year or so.

Even culturally, most societies have based gatherings around food. It bonds everyone together (especially during times of less than adequate food but that is another anthropological discussion there) so I know where you are coming from. Every time my family or my friends get together it involves the ingestion of mass quantities of food. I've just learned that if I can't avoid it, I choose specifically what I'm going to eat and how much. Although it's not as regimented as my homemade diet, it still works. With practice it doesn't turn out too bad, just gotta know when to say "when." :)

As a side note, when you go to a Korean BBQ, avoid the meats with sauce and stay away from the rice. Just make lettuce wraps with a crap ton of grilled meat and veggies. It works fantastic and it's actually really healthy. (I'm Korean btw so I'm just sayin') I have to agree with a few of the posts here already. It's all about balance and your personal enjoyment of life. What may work for someone may not be whats best for you, just like trying to find out how your body responds to different methods of training, it just takes a little trial-and-error. Best of luck!

SteelCrayon
01-20-2011, 06:27 PM
Same here, if I go out is boring being sober so I end up drinking. all my buddies are heavy in to the college life and eating like slobs.

I want to hit single digits for once, but at what cost? I've also noticed I'm easily agitated now that I'm down to 10% compared to when I was in the mid twenties. Feels bad

jam36
01-20-2011, 09:25 PM
I totally feel you bro! I've more or less become a social hermit since I started training and eating healthy(er). It really does become difficult sometimes but when I really do need to get out I'll enjoy a diet soda, especially a diet sprite with a lime in it... (people rarely ask what I'm drinking then) and just chill for a few minutes. Although the lack of inebriation has made this a more rare occurrence over the last year or so.

Even culturally, most societies have based gatherings around food. It bonds everyone together (especially during times of less than adequate food but that is another anthropological discussion there) so I know where you are coming from. Every time my family or my friends get together it involves the ingestion of mass quantities of food. I've just learned that if I can't avoid it, I choose specifically what I'm going to eat and how much. Although it's not as regimented as my homemade diet, it still works. With practice it doesn't turn out too bad, just gotta know when to say "when." :)

As a side note, when you go to a Korean BBQ, avoid the meats with sauce and stay away from the rice. Just make lettuce wraps with a crap ton of grilled meat and veggies. It works fantastic and it's actually really healthy. (I'm Korean btw so I'm just sayin') I have to agree with a few of the posts here already. It's all about balance and your personal enjoyment of life. What may work for someone may not be whats best for you, just like trying to find out how your body responds to different methods of training, it just takes a little trial-and-error. Best of luck!

Thanks for the response. That was a great post to read; I appreciate your input. I have one friend in particular who has been wanting to take me to Korean BBQ for a long time, but I never go. I always say "next time" or something like that. I'll use your suggestions when dining on Korean BBQ; I'll try to limit the dietary damage as much as possible.

I love ethnic food, so I know I will love Korean BBQ. I also love Pho', but I try not to eat it too often. I basically center my meals around food from Trader Joe's.

But it's damn hard to limit the amount of calories ingested over the course of a day while feeling satisfied at the same time. Calories add up so damn fast; even eating the healthiest, leanest, most natural foods possible the calories add up.

Anyways, nice to read the responses and thanks for your input.