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View Full Version : Help me wrap my head around this.



Il_Dago
07-14-2009, 10:26 AM
One of my huge motivators is "I want to speak to women with confidence once I reach my goal." Yet most everywhere I look, I hear how this is wrong and I should talk to women NOW.

I don't understand. Why now? What's the big deal about now? What's wrong with wanting to feel confident instead of stuttering like Rain Man as I fight a mental battle to shut up my insecurities?

This hasn't killed my motivation yet, but not being able to understand the logic is annoying. I'm concerned that the longer I go without comprehending, the more likely I am to dismiss one of my biggest motivating factors.

Reggie20x6
07-14-2009, 10:54 AM
You can't 'work out' your personality - you've either got the tools to talk to women now, or you don't. Dropping weight isn't going to suddenly make you a more engaging conversationalist. The armchair psychologist in me thinks you're afraid of rejection, and you are using your current weight as an excuse to not even try chatting someone up.

If you can recognize a bad habit in your life right now (i.e. can't bring yourself to converse with the opposite sex), then why are you waiting until some far off date to fix it? You made a conscious decision to change your dietary and exercise habits, because you knew it would lead to a better quality of life - so why aren't you doing the same with another issue that you perceive as being negative?

The only way you'll be more comfortable and confident talking to women is by actually talking to them.

heatlill
07-14-2009, 10:56 AM
One of my huge motivators is "I want to speak to women with confidence once I reach my goal." Yet most everywhere I look, I hear how this is wrong and I should talk to women NOW.

I don't understand. Why now? What's the big deal about now? What's wrong with wanting to feel confident instead of stuttering like Rain Man as I fight a mental battle to shut up my insecurities?

This hasn't killed my motivation yet, but not being able to understand the logic is annoying. I'm concerned that the longer I go without comprehending, the more likely I am to dismiss one of my biggest motivating factors.

I think it's more about not expecting things to magically be different when you get to x% body fat. Having confidence is a quality that is not related to physical fitness. While it is commendable to have fitness goals, you should be happy with who you are.

The other thing to think about is what kind of women are going to be interested in you only when you are ripped. Just say'n.

UCFBuilder
07-14-2009, 11:18 AM
trust me when i say that being lean and ripped will get u "more"women to be interested in you...but the SECOND they see that u are constantly nervouse around them and cant talk..no personality...they will leave...its happened to me wayyyy to many times man....u gotta have the a good personality and be able to talk to them to keep them around..looks only go so far....My attitude now..is that i just dont give a fuk...if u care too much about what women think of u and ur constantly overanalyzing every situation..u will fail every time..just dont give a fuk about what happens and ull be way better off