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SpotlightKnight
07-10-2009, 02:00 AM
I, myself had the problem of coming up with this huge almost get-rich quick scheme of losing weight at the gym on a consistent basis. For me, I didn't lose the 60 pounds that I lost until I accepted the gym as an outlet for my emotions and didn't dread going there, I craved it. Now my girlfriend is trying to lose weight as well, I am very supportive and provide advice for her when she asks for it, since I am a certified personal trainer, but she just can't seem to stay motivated and stick with routine for more than 2 weeks...I emphasize good nutrition balanced with giving her a push to go to the gym because I know that getting there is the hardest part a lot of the time. How can I get her to turn the same kind of corner that I did? Is it just going to happen by itself, if at all? What can I do differently to help her with this?

Senecan
07-10-2009, 02:54 AM
I, myself had the problem of coming up with this huge almost get-rich quick scheme of losing weight at the gym on a consistent basis. For me, I didn't lose the 60 pounds that I lost until I accepted the gym as an outlet for my emotions and didn't dread going there, I craved it. Now my girlfriend is trying to lose weight as well, I am very supportive and provide advice for her when she asks for it, since I am a certified personal trainer, but she just can't seem to stay motivated and stick with routine for more than 2 weeks...I emphasize good nutrition balanced with giving her a push to go to the gym because I know that getting there is the hardest part a lot of the time. How can I get her to turn the same kind of corner that I did? Is it just going to happen by itself, if at all? What can I do differently to help her with this?

Unfortunately theres not much you can do. She needs to want to do it. All you can do is be supportive and show her how to do it. Eventually though, if you continue to workout and diet, it may rub off on her.

Big Slim DaDDy
07-10-2009, 03:07 AM
Get buff as fuk so she feels like a slob.

hsmosny
07-10-2009, 05:37 AM
I think she has to want to do it for herself. Losing fat requires some dedication and if her heart isint in it, she likely wont get very good results.

I would support her as much as you can. Give her advice when she asks, suggest she join you for a workout ect but ultimately, its her body and its up to her to get it in shape. If you put too much emphasis on it, she will likely resent you.

this is 110% true. I am the same way ...I get in the workout mood want to lose fat and then 3 weeks later im to stressed and tired to even think of going to the gym. My bf is very supportive and had a heart to heart with me the other day and asked me what happened and how he thrived off me and my energy when we went to the gym and i just quit... it hit me hard. I have self esteem issues but that is besides the point. just give her the time she needs se will come around she has to want it herself. I just needed the extra motivation from my bf and that got me back into going daily and pushing myself had the best workout the other day it kicked my ass...it was the best feeling :) just stay positive for her and be supportive it helps a ton

superdoopr
07-10-2009, 05:47 AM
I think leading by example would be the best approach. When she sees you getting buff and eating right while she is pounding an entire bag of potato chips, it might hit her.

Alos you might find out that you guys aren't as similar as you thought you were.

diggin~deep
07-10-2009, 06:50 AM
I, myself had the problem of coming up with this huge almost get-rich quick scheme of losing weight at the gym on a consistent basis. For me, I didn't lose the 60 pounds that I lost until I accepted the gym as an outlet for my emotions and didn't dread going there, I craved it. Now my girlfriend is trying to lose weight as well, I am very supportive and provide advice for her when she asks for it, since I am a certified personal trainer, but she just can't seem to stay motivated and stick with routine for more than 2 weeks...I emphasize good nutrition balanced with giving her a push to go to the gym because I know that getting there is the hardest part a lot of the time. How can I get her to turn the same kind of corner that I did? Is it just going to happen by itself, if at all? What can I do differently to help her with this?


Do you live together? I am asking because I, like your girlfriend, was kind of in the same boat. I have a naturally amazingly built husband who increases his appearence at the gym. I have waivered a lot before. Sometimes I would love to go other times, as you stated I would be motivated the first couple days until life got in the way and it would quickly diminish.
But (seeing as we do live toether ) We recently we just cut the bull****. We raided out cabinets, fridge... everything. We set a budget on food after creating an eating plan that supported clean eating every 3 hours. THEN THE MOST IMPORTANT part was... we set aside 3 hours and cooked ALL the food. I have, sitting in my fridge right now... brown rice, hard boiled eggs, cooked/weighed chicken, asparagus, broccoli, cottage cheese and apples. You won't really find much else unless you go to the pantry and see almonds. ha ha. So that covered that and if I cant be accountable for myself now, I will never be.

FOR ME... I have a love for food because I grew up running to it as a drug to calm my overwhelmed self. The truth is I could have been overwhelmed in celebration and I would overeat. So preparing the food, having my diet on the cabinet in my face and then setting aside 1.5 hours for the gym made it fool proof for me.

Other tricks that work for me... I found a gym I love! Im comfortable there. I have an i-pod that Im always changing my music on. I found great supps that I love. And, not only do I belong here, to this great site... BUT in addition I have created affirmations and posted them ALL over my house about who I am/want to be in all aspects of life.

This has to be her passion, her idea and her want. She has to see the benefit in it for herself. People generally only change out of desperation or necessity. I understand from your stand point how badly you want it for her but that can translate to her feeling inadequate to you... even with the kisses and hugs in-between.

And Last (sorry for the novel) I have found with myself and other people who are overweight and NOT happy with their appearance that there is a larger, deeper, more independent reason that they cannot push forward in achieving their dreams. That is where it gets tough... because in order to get yourself/someone "engaged" in life and to start caring about how they look and feel you have to lift whatever that veil is and reignite the passion. I can almost promise you that if she doesn't care enough to be and stay healthy for herself, then there is more about life that overwhelms her and makes her unhappy. Her job? Her family? Stresses? Self confidence? Things like that. Maybe once you two address those, move on to the beginning of this LLLLLLOOOOOONNNNGGGGG post. haha. BEST OF LUCK to you both.

RLara85
07-10-2009, 12:05 PM
"A few seconds on your lips, a lifetime on your hips"

The person has to truly want it, when you go after something without much of a purpose you usually fail. Why? Because every time you feel like giving up there's no "bigger purpose" to keep you from giving up.

You have food/laziness on the left side, fitness goals on the right

In a nutshell, the right side has to be so much more important that it will overshadow any thoughts of sneaking over to the left side. Problem is, the left side is more important for most people, so any temptation and they just give in since the goal on the right side is so insignificant.

Take the easy way out now and you'll pay for it later though. A slice of cake or whatever will taste really good for a few minutes, but a few hours later that feeling is gone and you're literally left with nothing to feel good about. On the other hand sticking to a PLANNED diet (not just "eating healthy") or working out when your favorite tv show is on or friends want to go out is tough now, but a few hours later you feel pretty good about yourself, this builds self-esteem and also becomes an automatic behavior, in a few months you start seeing results in the mirror and that's usually where it "clicks" for most people.

For someone just starting out you really have to "visualize" and feel what your end-result will feel like, because you first few weeks/months dieting and working you will see results in the scale but you really won't look much different, and that's where a lot of people just give up, this is a slow process and you have to keep your end goal in mind at all times to get through the beginning.

-ShockWave-
07-10-2009, 12:12 PM
Get buff as fuk so she feels like a slob.

x2 Keep going get all tone and or buff and give her tough love.

-ShockWave-
07-10-2009, 12:13 PM
i think leading by example would be the best approach. When she sees you getting buff and eating right while she is pounding an entire bag of potato chips, it might hit her.

Alos you might find out that you guys aren't as similar as you thought you were.

^^ ^^ ^^