View Full Version : Causes of Losing Motivation

06-10-2009, 04:16 PM
So, what causes you guys to lose your motivation to work out? I figured we could all list some things and find some solutions.

I worked out for 6 years straight. Was doing good, imo. Especially when I could save up to buy more weights. I was repping 280 pounds 5 times. Not bad for me.

But, we all get in a relationship/get married. Am I the only one that loses motivation when you actually are in a long term relationship?

I'm married... but finally got sick of seeing my body change for the worse. She won't eat healthy like me. I feel like we are going separate ways in our choices of food. I've sworn off fast food, but I have cravings. She stops by a fast food restaurant and says "I don't have to eat it". I've finally gotten to where it makes me mad enough that I don't eat it, and I go home and chow down on my tuna, cottage cheese, and veggies.

Does being in a long-term relationship affect anyone else? I know we can overcome this, but did it ever affect you, whether for a long or short time?

I've finally put my diet motivation to 100%, and nothing is stopping me. Marriage is grand, but divorce is 10 grand, so I guess I'll have to work this out whether my spouse supports me or not :-)

06-10-2009, 06:03 PM
well for me i guess its laziness and being a food addict. but i struggle still and i wont give in. ill never bend or break.

06-10-2009, 06:19 PM
My girl is a personal trainer so I've never dealt with that LOL :D

In my opinion, if you guys are that close, I'd bet the diet issue is going to have to be a mutual decision. It's tough to say no pizza if it's on the table in front of you, for example.

Something that re-motivates me is to really dive deeply into a training philosophy or diet philosophy that is different than I've done before. For example, I was getting bored in the gym and read the HST faq cover to cover and I love going to the gym now... just as an example.

06-10-2009, 07:25 PM
I don't have a problem missing workouts. The gym pretty much is the highlight of my life. No girlfriend, busy friends, not going to school and working only thirty-two hours a week does that to me.

My issue is my diet. I eat in a household where junk food is ubiquitous, and my friends love to go out to eat and get trashed. I love getting trashed, too. lol.

I also never liked to do cardio, but that has changed in the past couple weeks. I have to find something new and different, switch it up so it isn't monotonous.

06-11-2009, 05:43 PM
I got married and gained 60 pounds. That's a serious drop in motivation.

06-11-2009, 06:07 PM
Learn to cook, mate. If you present your woman with tasty healthy meals, she won't complain. If all you have to offer is cottage cheese and plain tuna, hell I'd be eating McD's, too.

I cook in my house, so we eat healthy. Buy a cookbook and use it. Do the dishes, too. There's a saying that no man was ever murdered by his wife while he was doing the dishes. Cooking well and doing the dishes, trust me, this immensely improves your relationship with your woman. Her friends will start talking: "He cooks... cleans... and he's getting buff? You must be so happy!" That'll wake her up.

That aside, yes it's always hard if someone close to you is going in a different direction. That's when you've got to make an extra effort... not to change them, but to focus not on the things that annoy you, but the things you still love about them. Do that with enthusiasm and kindess and things will be better overall. Then you'll be motivated not by their agreeing with everything you do, but just bettering yourself generally.

06-11-2009, 07:41 PM

the classic "Lack of results" I don't see it, we all don't in ourselves, but know that the changes are there, we just don't realize it.

Gordon Bombay
06-11-2009, 07:52 PM
Nothing past newb gains here. Arms, chest, shoulders, legs have stayed the same the last 12 months and it ****ing sickens me to my stomach. Sometimes I think it's due to low test, other times I think I'm not doing something right. My arms are still a blubbery mess even after dipping a 45lb plate for reps, curling 95 lbs for 9 reps with good form. I don't get it.

06-12-2009, 01:14 AM
in the past I lost motivation because I set overly ambitious goals with too strict of a diet. Im staying with it good so far this time around. I think its in part because this time I did not go from eating pizza, potato chips and ice cream every day to nothing but tuna, cottage cheese and brown rice overnight. Right now Im more focusing on portion/calorie control, and am slowly cleaning up the diet over time. Makes it easier to be a lifestyle change rather than a 'diet' I hate right from the start.

06-12-2009, 04:59 AM
I'm more or less in the same boat you are man, while I lost a bunch of weight, my girlfriend has gained a bit. I'm trying to get her back on track (not forcing her in the least mind you) and it's not easy. My biggest problem isn't fast food, it's Alchohol, and my girl loves the wine!! While most of the time I do well, having someone sitting there drinking while you wanna drink is rough. Oh well, just keep at it man and hope your positive influence will set in, especially when the results are amazing, it would be hard for someone not to want to get healthier or in shape with the partner looking so good.

06-12-2009, 05:08 AM
Insecurity from Women can manifest itself in a lack of support for your weight loss journey.I asked one of my exes why she used to hate me going to the gym so much, she told me it was not really because she hated spending time apart from me, but that if I started putting on muscle/losing fat I would start getting more attention from other women.

You can't stay with a woman you don't love though man, if you cannot work through your problems you got to have the courage to end it, or you will end up some bitter and twisted 40 year old alcoholic down the line.

06-12-2009, 08:31 AM
dont lift for women,
lift for yourself.

if you say "im in a long term relationship blah blah" then your just making excuses, i know it, you know it.

1 hour a day is all you need, surely you got one to spend but your too busy rationalizing not going to the gym that you lose focus and motivation.

Your excuse becomes habit and habit becomes your character.
If you keep making em, youll start believing em.

06-12-2009, 10:55 AM
I definitely try not to lose motivation, but there are times when it happens...

For me, I lose motivation when I get to hard on myself. I only focus on the big gains so all the smaller gains fall under the radar. This is when I really lose motivation. I've learned to be able to look at the smaller gains as these are the gains that interconnect to form the big gains. Another thing is when I'm just tired after work (I work out after work). I just get tired and really don't feel like being at the gym. I would rather be at home just chillin' instead. Those are tough days for me at the gym when I still push myself even though I should have just gone home. LOL...

I've gotten some good motivation and advice from others so lately my motivation hasn't been lacking.

06-17-2009, 07:46 PM
Seems to me that by watching what you eat, she might feel like she'd be depriving herself of all the "good" stuff. Have her watch the documentary "Super Size Me". I saw it when it came out and have been turned off of fast food ever since. Yes, I've had setbacks, but I'm still working on it. It's hard to make self improvements with the one you love watching and staying the same. You're going to have to find compromise somewhere. Let her know that you're doing this for the better, and it hurts you to see her putting all that poison in her beautiful body. As a wife, it makes a bigger impact on me when my DH tells me how he "feels" once in a while vs. what he "thinks". Exchange the word "think" for "feel". "I feel that if we do this together, we will open a world of excitement for us." or whatever you want to say to her.
It's not a competition, not a battle, just a way of life. In order to live longer, you have to put in some give & take.
Also, Weight Watchers is a good program to eat what you want without feeling deprived. Even a WW cookbook is helpful. Good luck, and let us know what happens!

06-18-2009, 08:09 AM
Learn to cook, mate. If you present your woman with tasty healthy meals, she won't complain. If all you have to offer is cottage cheese and plain tuna, hell I'd be eating McD's, too.

That's very true. I had a similar situation. My bf used to eat only junk, no fresh food at all + a lot of sweets, chocolates, chips. I enjoyed snacking with him on anything. But mother nature was kind only to him and very cruel to me, I gain pounds on junk, he stays slim. Now I find all those nice recipes on bb forums and cook healthy. My boyfriend loves it, his family is amazed by the amount of veggies he eats now ;)
If your wife stays away from fast food for a few days at least she stops feeling this need of eating junk.
Healthy food is delicous, try some of the recipes and she'll be amazed as no junk food can taste so good