PDA

View Full Version : I started lifting because of a girl....



Khachikp86
05-30-2009, 05:45 PM
I had been lifting for years on and off. Then I met a woman and became completely infatuated. The closer we got, the harder I hit the gym. I saw more gains in 5 months than in the previous 2 years. Now things have truly fallen apart with her and I have zero motivation to keep going.

Ridiculous as all of this is, I need to regain the motivation.

Cletus99
05-30-2009, 05:49 PM
You're going to need something to pull you out of the depression this will most likely put you in! I advise 2 scoops NO Xplode + 3 Super Pump 250 in the morning then spend a minimum of 3 hours at the gym. Do this and then call me the next morning so I can tell you to do it again.

VoxExMachina
05-30-2009, 07:16 PM
I don't think there's any way to suddenly be motivated again. I think you just have to drag yourself up by the bootstraps, get into the gym, and work out until you are exhausted. Then do it a few more times until you get back into the rhythm.

Do it for yourself and you'll be more successful long term. That said, you don't want to be out of shape for your next girl, do you?

Now go GIT 'ER DONE!

ndruo
05-30-2009, 10:31 PM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?

Green-Beret
05-30-2009, 10:38 PM
The problem is you started for the wrong reason!

ct8282
05-31-2009, 02:16 AM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?

That hits the nail on the head. I read this and, DAMN, I wanted to get changed and hit the gym, NOW. Very inspirational and bang on the money. GREAT POST, and true to every word.

You say you hit the gym hard for this girl, but when you sit back and get down to the roots of why you really did it, the answer is the same for all of us. Deep down in the fibers of our being, we all do it for that feeling of satisfaction and achievement when we squeeze out that extra rep, or increase the weight by 5lbs and squeeze out 8 reps. We do it for that pump, that rush of blood, that feeling of being an alpha male, that primeval urge to be the hunter, be stronger, and be more of a man then we were the week before. You're drive to hit the gym was not brought on by your ex, it was brought on by your desires to be better in yourself, and was merely helped along by the attentions and affections of your woman!!

I know you would have heard this a thousand times by now, but there are plenty more fish in the sea, and now more than ever you should hit the gym even harder, not to show your ex what's she's missing, forget her now, but to prove to yourself just how strong you are and how strong you can be. If you can focus now and work hard, once the negative feelings of your loss have subsided you will feel the best you ever have. I speak from experience on this one as I went through the same thing. Your life is in your hands bro, not hers. Now go and hammer that gym, HARD!!

Khachikp86
05-31-2009, 02:38 AM
wow. To be honest, I think these posts cured me....

Words cant express how thankful I am to all of you. I am going to hit the gym harder than ever before now and clean up my diet 100%.

Fatman2
05-31-2009, 08:03 AM
You should be motivated to work even harder, show her what she's missing out on show her that your better lookin then her new boyfriend.

moosecakes4all
05-31-2009, 08:12 AM
Well these guys really have the meat of it covered, but also think of it in the sense that if you worked out to look good for a that girl, you can work out to look good for an even BETTER girl. Just because you lost one lady doesnt mean you cant get a hotter, smarter, cooler, whatever girl!
Keep going man, hit it hard!

Gjobsin
05-31-2009, 03:22 PM
that one meant nothing, think of the one that's waiting to cross paths with you. IF YOU MUST. really your problem is you want to be wanted too much. live like a person who loves themselves and in time that need will go away. fake it till you make it.

I just did it.

ShadyBobcat
05-31-2009, 03:33 PM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?



Print this off, and leave it in every room of your house so you doing effing forget it dwag, forget the biatch

KoolDrew
05-31-2009, 03:41 PM
I'm the opposite. I just got out of a 1.5 year long relationship. I made no progress during that 1.5 years, just ended up spinning my wheels. Before I made awesome progress and now I'm making awesome progress as well.

dillingerescp
06-01-2009, 12:30 PM
Definitely. In fact, the very REASON I got into bodybuilding and exercise is because a gf of mine of 3 years cheated on me, I was depressed as all hell and the only thing that made me feel better besides drinking and drugs was going to the gym and lifting like crazy.

It was a battle, but the gym won over the alcohol/drugs, which is a good thing.

ShadyBobcat
06-01-2009, 01:58 PM
listen, if you want an actual half decent girl, you know the ones that go to bookstores or ****, they wont care how much you can lift as long as you can move furniture

jcosley
06-01-2009, 02:39 PM
Buy a home weight set....then you can pump iron and never leave her side. LOL

-Lucifer
06-01-2009, 04:05 PM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?
Repped.

eastcoastmost
06-02-2009, 11:55 AM
ndruo...repped

CaptainRon19
06-02-2009, 12:49 PM
ndruo...repped

From me as well. Great stuff ndruo, couldn't have said it any better.

If I'm ever unmotivated, I remind myself of this quote:

"You have to work every day. No matter what has happened the day or night before, get up and bite the nail."

-Ernest Hemingway

Ragnor187
06-02-2009, 03:35 PM
I go through stages like this occasionally i think its what seperates the hardcore people from regulars(hardcore people have that extreme focus and ambition) only I really workout when im not with a woman, but then lsoe motivation when im with her and after were apart it takes me a while to drag back into the gym but feeling that heavy burn at the gym and after , knowing your improving yourself with every visit to the gym. It hooks me everytime and im right back at it

my latest issue was aback injury at work where i was out of the gym for 2 months(proly longer then i really needed off) my friend in the army came back from iraq, remotivated me and i was hooked again now im pumpin heavy again, just restocked my supplements (superpump,whey,casein,creatine)

work_hard_kidd
06-02-2009, 04:58 PM
dude i had this same senerio just focuse your frustaions in the weight room see every rep as a way of fixing things if you want her back just think every workout is a step twords that and if you don't try your hardest your a falure no one wants to be that bro but i wish you the best good luck my man

Universal64
06-02-2009, 09:33 PM
well bro, i kinda know how ya feel bout the whole girl situation...just lost mine earlier today and seriously, today's lift was hands down the ****in best lift i've had in months...now that she's gone, it's only gon make me bust my ass even more just to realize that she f*cked up...as stated above bro, keep bustin your a$$ man and you did it for yourself in the first place and this only adds fuel to the fire to keep bustin your a$$

iDrive
06-03-2009, 08:06 AM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?

I've read this no less than 15 times and it always gets me pumped. Great post.

IronCitGrl
06-03-2009, 08:37 AM
Hmmmm reading this from a girl's perspective ...

First of all I'd be really happy if I knew any guy was busting his ass in the gym because of me very flattering

BUT

YOU have to want it. If that is the only reason you do it I don't know that's not very impressive. I'd rather be with a guy who lifts because he likes to do it and one who has goals and is independent enough to do things on his own that won't crumble if he doesn't have a gf/significant other. In others words I'd rather date a guy who is already complete and trying to be the best that he can be and not one that needs a girl to complete him. If you don't like yourself how can you expect anyone else to like you?

Ask yourself this question-- if you were a girl would you date yourself?

exy
06-03-2009, 08:57 AM
Didn't read posts, only OP's.

Here is a simple plan to get you started again:

Mo musclz=mo hoz

Js, don't let things fall apart, remember all that hard work you put in, it goes away quickly if you don't maintain it.

-Lucifer
06-03-2009, 09:13 AM
Ask yourself this question-- if you were a girl would you date yourself?

/thread

a_miller_76
06-03-2009, 02:10 PM
The problem is you started for the wrong reason!

this



I did the same thing years ago. I got in the gym, changed all my eating habits, dropped 40 lbs, etc. Girl went from "soul mate fiance" to "cheating demonic whore" in a period of about 1 week and it f'd me up. I gave up the gym, went back to drinking, etc....then never refound the motivation to go back until recently.


Now I'm doing it for me. Forget what the ladies want, do what's good for you.

NickyBoomBots
06-03-2009, 03:56 PM
You should be motivated to work even harder, show her what she's missing out on show her that your better lookin then her new boyfriend.

agreed.. when my x broke up with me last year.. i went the hardest at the gym i ever had.. i feel im in the best shape of my life right now, and is getting the most compliments from the ladies i have ever had.. now i just need to get over her, and move onto one of these ladies an ill be alright.. but the point is it made me go ten fold at the gym

Khachikp86
06-03-2009, 07:58 PM
well she is slowly dwindling out of my MIND, not my LIFE. Very key difference here...she is in my life as much as she was before but does not consume me mentally anymore. I realized what she is...she seeks validation from as many guys as possible, flirts with as many as she can. She sucks these things from people because she is single. But it really f'ed me up dude and im not 100% healed from it.

But my goal is so close now I can almost taste it. years of hard work...now Im 4 months away from having my dream body and I dont want to just throw that away.

ndruo
06-03-2009, 10:56 PM
At some point, she'll want to get back together with you.

But consider this: will it be because she likes you? Or will it be because she likes being seen with you.

Will she go after you, the status symbol? Or will she go after you, the person?

You know this girl well. Better than any of us. How you ultimately end up dealing with this inevitable situation is, like all things, your choice and your choice alone. Just wanted to give you a fair warning.

blockmonkey
06-04-2009, 01:48 AM
She sounds extremely insecure. If i was you i would keep a wide berth she will probably at some point try to come back to you either as a friend or otherwise. Kinda the safe fallback guy incase her new life does not work out the way she envisages.

ess0616
06-04-2009, 05:43 AM
I did the same too.

Started for a girl...I know that me and her aren't going to happen so I just enjoyed the progress.

Now, it's not about her anymore (maybe a little, lol) but more for me, and I'm glad I made the decision to do all this.

You just need a push. A HUGE push. Maybe tough motivation is what you need.

If someone owes you money, tell them not to pay you until you get started, and you have to be in the plan for two weeks for you to get your money back.

That's how I started, and now I don't want to stop.

Try it out.

jonnyspaghettio
06-04-2009, 09:58 PM
Buy a home weight set....then you can pump iron and never leave her side. LOL

But then she would be jealous of all the attention the weight set is getting...Haha

asylumz
06-04-2009, 10:37 PM
Girls suck, don't work out to impress them. Just work out to impress that guy in the mirror. Don't worry about girls, they come and go.

ctparks
06-05-2009, 02:43 PM
I had been lifting for years on and off. Then I met a woman and became completely infatuated. The closer we got, the harder I hit the gym. I saw more gains in 5 months than in the previous 2 years. Now things have truly fallen apart with her and I have zero motivation to keep going.

Ridiculous as all of this is, I need to regain the motivation.

do it for yourself man..its better that way. you will gain pride and confidence within yourself and you will be able to get any girl you want. girls may come and go but your body sticks with you, so work it out to the best of your ability and let that be your motivation.

xfactor_sonson
06-06-2009, 02:11 AM
well she is slowly dwindling out of my MIND, not my LIFE. Very key difference here...she is in my life as much as she was before but does not consume me mentally anymore. I realized what she is...she seeks validation from as many guys as possible, flirts with as many as she can. She sucks these things from people because she is single. But it really f'ed me up dude and im not 100% healed from it.

But my goal is so close now I can almost taste it. years of hard work...now Im 4 months away from having my dream body and I dont want to just throw that away.

Hey man,
When life throws you a curve ball hit a f*king home run.Time is the only thing that heals heart ache and your goals dont have time.You've come this far,take it all the way.Godspeed

JolietKev
06-06-2009, 06:16 AM
Lose a girl, get another. Work on your self confidence. The way you walk etc... Women notice that kind of thing... oh yeah and buy some new shoes. I thank God all of the time when I think back on how I prayed for a relationship with this one particular girl to work, however she treated me poorly, and after ten years with my wife I am so glad that he did not grant that prayer/desire. Perspective my friend.

xfactor_sonson
06-06-2009, 01:17 PM
Lose a girl, get another. Work on your self confidence. The way you walk etc... Women notice that kind of thing... oh yeah and buy some new shoes. I thank God all of the time when I think back on how I prayed for a relationship with this one particular girl to work, however she treated me poorly, and after ten years with my wife I am so glad that he did not grant that prayer/desire. Perspective my friend.

some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers-Garth Brooks, lol

TheReverend
06-06-2009, 01:31 PM
Let the pain become rage. Rage=motivation. Remember how stupid she is before every set.

Marion_Cobretti
06-06-2009, 06:25 PM
Let the pain become rage. Rage=motivation. Remember how stupid she is before every set.

This is not a healthy mindset. I would not recommend to the OP using this strategy. Remember, if you started lifting b/c of a girl, you can stop lifting b/c of a girl in the future.

But then again, this is coming from a guy that hangs out on BB.com on Saturday night.

Khachikp86
06-06-2009, 06:35 PM
this girl played with my heart and emotions so much...and I was already pretty emotionally unstable. I'm still not fully recovered from the whole thing.

ndruo
06-06-2009, 06:42 PM
You'll move on whenever you decide to move on.

asylumz
06-06-2009, 07:03 PM
Go on a rampage and start banging random chicks. Every girl goes through a slut stage, if they haven't they will.

Khachikp86
06-06-2009, 07:18 PM
note to self: dont fall for coworkers :(

things get awkward and complicated. And its hard to forget and heal when you are forced to be with them due to work

-Lucifer
06-06-2009, 07:19 PM
note to self: dont fall for coworkers :(

things get awkward and complicated. And its hard to forget and heal when you are forced to be with them due to work
Agreed. It seems unprofessional too.

jsaputo
06-06-2009, 10:31 PM
just drag yourself out of bed everymorning at a decent hour, eat healthy, take some vitamins, hit the gym. do it for a while, and youll get used to it and motivated. normally works better with a friend

CalvinGrace
06-10-2009, 01:49 AM
Remember what Rocky said. Dont stop trying to be who you want to be just because of him or her. Life is about how hard you can get hit and keep going, keep moving forward. Life is gonna beat you to your knees if you let it...

mpSoldier
06-10-2009, 05:03 PM
Most of my motivation comes from women. Everytime I get rejected I turn it into motivation. I go out to get rejected on purpose sometimes. It's to easy to turn negative feelings and thoughts into motivation. If my life was perfect I don't think I would have the motivation to lift anymore. I usually call them and thank them for being such bitches lol

ghostofinsanity89
06-10-2009, 08:01 PM
i get asked many times if im lifting for girls or for myself and of course i lift for myself. They dont believe me cause theyr ignorant fools who thinks all bbers lift to get some ass. NOT TRUE.
no girl is worth the pain i go through everyday. no girl is worth the discpline i put on myself everyday.. well maybe except my mother.

anyway, i lift for myself and myself only, if a girl happens to like me, its just a bonus.

chmbs1
06-10-2009, 08:14 PM
You say you have emotional issues? I don't know about you, but I work out better pissed off. You have to make the negative a positive. Anger is more useful than sadness. I love the gym because it's the one place I can have TOTAL RELEASE and get away with it. Use what bothers you- use it as fuel, use it as passion.

Bolo23
06-12-2009, 12:48 PM
i went through a similar situation...i used hit it hard, then i met my first true love. she slowly took my gym time away. she started nagging and bytching about me working out too much. i gave her everything bc i loved her, spoiled her, bought her whatever. she left me so i hit it hard, even staying in the gym for 4 hours to burn time, keep busy, now im in the best shape of my life, she contacted me through email bc she got laid off, i didnt reply. bytch didnt want me then, now she is trying to contact me out of the blue?

chmbs1
06-12-2009, 01:06 PM
i went through a similar situation...i used hit it hard, then i met my first true love. she slowly took my gym time away. she started nagging and bytching about me working out too much. i gave her everything bc i loved her, spoiled her, bought her whatever. she left me so i hit it hard, even staying in the gym for 4 hours to burn time, keep busy, now im in the best shape of my life, she contacted me through email bc she got laid off, i didnt reply. bytch didnt want me then, now she is trying to contact me out of the blue?

Be cold, man, be cold.

blockmonkey
06-12-2009, 01:51 PM
i went through a similar situation...i used hit it hard, then i met my first true love. she slowly took my gym time away. she started nagging and bytching about me working out too much. i gave her everything bc i loved her, spoiled her, bought her whatever. she left me so i hit it hard, even staying in the gym for 4 hours to burn time, keep busy, now im in the best shape of my life, she contacted me through email bc she got laid off, i didnt reply. bytch didnt want me then, now she is trying to contact me out of the blue?




















You're her safety net man, as soon as she is back on her feet she'll be off again

lawlz_xD
06-14-2009, 12:29 PM
I'd just like to give the OP my sympathies about his recent loss...I too was in a very, very close relationship with this girl for about 6 months. A week after we broke up, what would be our 6 month...her ex from freshman year (she is a junior now) asked her out. I was still coping and asked her if she had feelings for him while we were in our relationship, she said yes. We broke up because she had lost her feelings for me, which she than used to justify liking her ex. Anyways, her ex, now her current boyfriend (soon to be a freshman in college), meanmugged me at school every now and...

Sometimes him and my ex walk past me like they are superior to me in some way. Anyways, my main inspiration is to show her that she is NOT better than me, he is NOT better than me, and I will change my body to prove not only them, but everyone that I have the will power to do it.

jobber4eva
06-14-2009, 11:42 PM
not to sound harsh, but suck it up, keep working hard, and keep looking for another bird

lawlz_xD
06-15-2009, 02:30 AM
I think your "harsh" post was with good intent. She was what people would call, "first love" and it's a bit harder to get over it all. Luckily, I find peace and happiness inside the gym, ;D

DEUCE518
06-15-2009, 06:11 PM
sort of in the same boat but not 100%.
I met this really cute girl about a year ago at school. We hung out and over the summer she came up and visited me twice.

We hung out a lot at school and talked to no end during the summer.

I lifted a good amount before I met her so I can't say the lifting was for her, but I can say it was for any girl willing to take a look lol.

This girl was obsessed with my figure. I'm not even close to the physique i want, but for her I was carved out of marble. Whenever we hung out, this girl was attached to one of my arms. now my arms aren't huge (only 15 flexed) but she would run her fingers across my veins and gawk at my arms, basically drooling over them.

While we were together, I let up in gym, even taking a 4 month hiatus, mainly because I knew I had a good girl in my grasp and there was no need to impress her.

Well we got back to school and started dating. Not going to go into detail, but it only lasted a few weeks, which i was befuddled by because she was always saying how happy she was all the time to be with me.

When we broke up, she cited my marijuana use and ******* perception pple tag me with mostly because I look like I dont give a ****, and I don't go out of my way to get people to like me or accept me.

Well it's been a good 8 months and I've secretly been using her as motivation to keep pushing. Outside of the gym I don't think of her nearly at all, but all I can think of when I'm in the gym is the look on her face when I send her some progress pics in 4 months.

It is not for validation, but more less out of spite, because I know when she sees these pictures, regret will flood her mind

all I can say OP, is to use her for motivation again! Instead of trying to please her, make her jealous. get angry in the gym, and blast out set after set, rep after rep, never letting that flame die out. even if she says nothing, take the comfort in knowing that she has many thoughts that will go unspoken for.

Khachikp86
06-15-2009, 08:18 PM
I only tend to see her when we are in big groups and shes begun to bring a guy with her. A month ago, this wouldve hurt my feelings. But now im almost completely nonchalant about it. This newfound motivation to go to the gym that doesnt revolved around a girl is not as strong but it feels more stable. We'll see how long this lasts.

ramsesthe2
06-16-2009, 06:39 AM
Motivation stems from action.

ArnoldTheGov
06-16-2009, 11:33 AM
Like Nike said, Just do it!

drewkawa
06-17-2009, 12:36 AM
don't worry, once you marry her you'll balloon up to 20% BF and be happy with your life. (it's all circular)


Drew

(been with the same gal for 10 years and married too.... so note the sarcasm :) )

Khachikp86
06-17-2009, 12:24 PM
don't worry, once you marry her you'll balloon up to 20% BF and be happy with your life. (it's all circular)


Drew

(been with the same gal for 10 years and married too.... so note the sarcasm :) )

lmao thanks but I dont think I'll be getting married anytime soon and definitely not to the girl in question :P

airman26
06-21-2009, 02:23 PM
I had been lifting for years on and off. Then I met a woman and became completely infatuated. The closer we got, the harder I hit the gym. I saw more gains in 5 months than in the previous 2 years. Now things have truly fallen apart with her and I have zero motivation to keep going.

Ridiculous as all of this is, I need to regain the motivation.

they're a dime a dozen. get a couple new chicks and youll feel a lot better.

bresine
06-24-2009, 07:23 AM
I had been lifting for years on and off. Then I met a woman and became completely infatuated. The closer we got, the harder I hit the gym. I saw more gains in 5 months than in the previous 2 years. Now things have truly fallen apart with her and I have zero motivation to keep going.

Ridiculous as all of this is, I need to regain the motivation.

Lift for yourself, no one else. Ultimately you are the one benefiting from your hard work..even if others dont appreciate it.

josh_hill
06-24-2009, 09:26 AM
keep lifting. youll thank yourself next time you meet a woman like this

Khachikp86
06-24-2009, 09:42 PM
just to update, me and her are pretty close again. And Im no longer the emotionally fickle, needy guy I once was. I have several women after me now and it feels good. My motivation is high right now because I want to get stronger and healthier, as opposed to impressing anyone (though that is still there). Everyone was right, I was doing it for myself. My physical journey is almost over and all I have left to do is lose the last 20 lbs of fat that is covering all my muscles. Thank you guys for the support, please keep it coming. Every guy that started lifting for a girl and got burned should read this and follow my story. There is light at the end of every tunnel, no matter how grim.

Ronboski
06-26-2009, 01:37 AM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?

REPPED and TACKED!

Been lifting since 1989. I just kept climbing that iron mountain....until I got married.

I am now searching for the motivation...the fire...I want to hunger for that peak....and push it to the limits once again. Wish I could get my wife involved in fitness but she shows not interest (sad).

I have been putting others first for far to long and have forgetting about myself and my needs. It's time for me to take care of my dreams, health, heart and mind.

Thank you for your post. This is going to be tacked up on my wall for motivation.

Ronboski

stevedawg
06-28-2009, 10:47 AM
glad to read its getting better just keep going at it.

from my personal experience the best feeling will be in a few from now when you are in better shape with a smarter/sexier girl by your side and you run into her. Yall will make small talk and as you walk away you will look at yourself, your new girl, realize how everything is better than it was and smile. Then is when you realize it is all worth it.

ledzep5220
06-28-2009, 01:29 PM
personally i think thatd give me more motivation.. whens hit falls apart with chicks it pisses me off which cause me to lift harder and heavier

TDE
08-02-2009, 07:57 PM
REPPED and TACKED!

Been lifting since 1989. I just kept climbing that iron mountain....until I got married.

I am now searching for the motivation...the fire...I want to hunger for that peak....and push it to the limits once again. Wish I could get my wife involved in fitness but she shows not interest (sad).

I have been putting others first for far to long and have forgetting about myself and my needs. It's time for me to take care of my dreams, health, heart and mind.

Thank you for your post. This is going to be tacked up on my wall for motivation.

Ronboski
hey man, did you ribs ever recover?

googledotman
08-03-2009, 08:14 PM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?

You rule! I'm gonna eat some of my blend of eggs, peanut butter, and lean ground beef.
Thanks!

DuLac
08-03-2009, 09:32 PM
I am glad this post resurfaced, because of ndruo's response.

troymoto
08-03-2009, 09:52 PM
The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?

Powerful post! Thank you!

silverpickup
08-05-2009, 12:24 PM
girls are crazy. i dated a girl for 3 years, was buying a house. planning on poping the question. and one day she told me she didnt want to be tied down anymore. didnt see that one coming.

Shes prolly the biggest reason i stoped working out 3 years ago. and gained 40 ilbs. Now im the reason im loosing it.


Your better off with out her. why would you want to waist your time on someone who doesnt want to be around you for you?

keep your head up. Youll get out of the slums.

edit- and on top of all that its only been 3 weeks. and my friend ran into her, and she told him that she couldnt handle finishing up school, and working full time and be with me. and he told me she acted like she didnt even care. so man just be single for a while. im 23 and havent been single since i was 15. its nice. do what you want.

GorillaMan2000
08-06-2009, 02:58 PM
I had been lifting for years on and off. Then I met a woman and became completely infatuated. The closer we got, the harder I hit the gym. I saw more gains in 5 months than in the previous 2 years. Now things have truly fallen apart with her and I have zero motivation to keep going.

Ridiculous as all of this is, I need to regain the motivation.

girl is good motivation to lift, but they come n go. i suggest to u, pay them 0 mind. Focus on God when u lift (IF....u believe). This is wat I do. Lift like ur going to meet him TOMORROW. Keep saying "Todays my last day. **** it. Ill lift as fast as i can and as much as i want."

constantly thinking of a female = idol worship. replace her with GOD. He who gave you arms to lift with, muscles to build....and FEET..to walk on.

what a blessing He gave...some are born without them.

Use them wisely.

ghostofinsanity89
08-06-2009, 09:56 PM
girls or any other people are horrible for motivation cause as the previous poster said, "you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life" This kind of mentality is destructive rather than being constructive. You're basically saying "if i look better, she'll get back with me blah blah" You're putting yourself below her and your treating her as some goddess or something that you cant have unless you have this or that.

LOOK AROUND YOU, there are tons of pretty girls, they are in heavy supply but can you see guys with a good physique? RARELY.

If you train hard , girls will come.

GorillaMan2000
08-06-2009, 10:21 PM
If you train hard , girls will come.


easily. in the ancient world, getting a woman wasnt a big thing (the men were powerful as ****). men had womeN. 2day u must be a MAN. a viking man. warrior/beast.

but

at the same time. being a coward will earn you death. being a girly man will earn u death. weakness, earns death. this mantra should motivate as well.

SirSweatsAlot
08-09-2009, 10:25 PM
Think of all the free time you have now to work out instead of appeasing some lady! :-)

Stay focused!

status10589
08-17-2009, 12:46 AM
Think of all the free time you have now to work out instead of appeasing some lady! :-)

Stay focused!

Hell yeah We lift for our own personal goals and personal reasons. The girls that come with it is just a plus : D so keep lifting man you'll pull through

Gabriel01
08-17-2009, 10:26 PM
Strong words and truly deserve this rep!


The problem with attaching your motivation to someone else lies in the fact that you're essentially letting them have control over that part of your life. It's subtle, but it's true.

You say to yourself that you did it all for her.

Bull****.

There had to be some pleasure in seeing the changes you made in your body that went beyond "she'll think I'm soooo hot." There had to be some fulfillment, appreciation for the fact that you changed yourself extending beyond getting her approval. At some level, it was there. Even if you don't realize it right now.

Your perspective is too outwardly focused. Too broad. Too empathetic.

Be selfish. This is YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR heart.

Nobody, not even someone you cared for deeply, can take that away from you.

Get back on track and on a fitness plan. Finish this week. Once that's done, finish the next. Once that's done, well, you know where this is going.

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and words like "I know what you're going through," or "I feel for you" are just empty platitudes you'll be reading off of the screen. Ask yourself the following question: are you strong enough physically, mentally, and most relevant to your case emotionally to stick to your fitness plan?

The answer you are going to give to yourself is a resounding "Yes I am."

Even if...

Wait. Scratch that.

Especially if you don't think you are.

Then you go prove it. Every day. You don't prove it to her, you don't prove it to your friends, you don't prove it to another goddamn soul in the world except for the only one who you need to prove it to:

Yourself.

Normally, something like "best of luck" goes here. But you. Are. Strong.

Luck is merely a convenience.

Besides, there's no better sense of vindication than getting unbearably hot. Her loss, y'know?