PDA

View Full Version : Friends as stumbling blocks



WAPump
05-19-2009, 03:58 PM
So in the last 8 months i have gotten very into weightlifting, nutrition, and health. My buddies (pretty much all on the highschool football team) just lift. they chuck out the healthy diet part. So they end up strong and stuff, but they all have like 17-19%body fat (nothing wrong with it, they just need to lay off McDonalds). Whenever i hangout with a buddy, we end up walking to a food store (7-11 and the like) and they get candy, hot dogs, donuts, etc.
I dont.
For some reason they feel the need to criticize me for eating healthy and stuff. things like "dude, do you even eat anymore?"
"its not that bad dude, just one coke."

anyone else had this experience? how to deal with it?

Fallfree
05-19-2009, 06:49 PM
So in the last 8 months i have gotten very into weightlifting, nutrition, and health. My buddies (pretty much all on the highschool football team) just lift. they chuck out the healthy diet part. So they end up strong and stuff, but they all have like 17-19%body fat (nothing wrong with it, they just need to lay off McDonalds). Whenever i hangout with a buddy, we end up walking to a food store (7-11 and the like) and they get candy, hot dogs, donuts, etc.
I dont.
For some reason they feel the need to criticize me for eating healthy and stuff. things like "dude, do you even eat anymore?"
"its not that bad dude, just one coke."

anyone else had this experience? how to deal with it?

If they are your buddies..tell them to **** off in a joking way..thats what i do..usually they get the hint after a few times...

After a while..you start not paying attention anyway when you start to see your gainz ;)

johnderriLLL
05-19-2009, 07:05 PM
i dont even know what i do any more besides just say no. tell them to stop shoving food down your throat. if u dont drink a coke for a year then have one it tickles.

once at work i had a sandwich that was just greens and breat and a guy sad i should go ask for a raise. lol

once they asked me if i was rationing food for winter.

it dosent bother me any more i just let it roll off, i will never stop.

WAPump
05-19-2009, 07:16 PM
thanks for the advice, guys. (gave reps by the way).
They never actually get me to eat crappy food, so maybe they'll figure out that its not worth the trouble.
Still though, i dont know why they care if I eat healthy.

iDrive
05-19-2009, 08:17 PM
They eventually give up. It's kind of like a bully in school, they only have fun when they see it effects you but if you don't give them a reaction they lose intrerest and move on.

Misery loves company so if people see you trying to better yourself they try to knock you down a few back to their level. Just remind yourself you're better than them.

Rz4
05-22-2009, 11:00 AM
Better then my firends. they dont lift. they try and convince me 'oh one missed workout wont hurt' 'one drinking session wont do anything' yeh now im 2 weeks away from my army test with fitness a big issue (my lifts are okaii...endurance isnt)

red_hot_tamale
05-22-2009, 12:30 PM
They're just jealous because they don't have your willpower, lol. I get the same response from co workers when there is a carry in, cake, ice cream, brownies, etc in our break room and everyone is pigging out.

ClownBoy
05-23-2009, 05:52 PM
Funny to read this now because I just posted this in the Aussie thread:

Hey guys,

You dont know me but I know you! Long time reader, occasional poster and now with a quandry.

Advice wanted:

The facts are:
I have been hugely dedicated, motivated and successful over the last 6 months
I have done it all alone and enjoyed the personal time
I have built 4k worth of gym gear into my basement to support my workout schedule
I just invited a long time mate to join in.

The problem:
I motivate the mate, I push him hard to perform, I design our workout schedules, etc, etc.
All stuff I have done for myself thus far
I expected inviting him to join in to be fun but:
- He doesn't really push me to go harder. I outdo him on all weights by 35-50% but he doesn't push me to outdo myself and go harder
- He shows no interest in the out of workout stuff like planning routines, learning about what to changes to improve, etc

I am starting to feel like his personal trainer - a one way relationship - instead of what I wanted when I asked him to join.

What I wanted was to push my workout (and his) into a much higher level.

What I have gotten is not improving my workout, doesn't really ruin it either but it getting annoying.

What should I do?

imTKain
05-23-2009, 07:45 PM
Funny to read this now because I just posted this in the Aussie thread:

Hey guys,

You dont know me but I know you! Long time reader, occasional poster and now with a quandry.

Advice wanted:

The facts are:
I have been hugely dedicated, motivated and successful over the last 6 months
I have done it all alone and enjoyed the personal time
I have built 4k worth of gym gear into my basement to support my workout schedule
I just invited a long time mate to join in.

The problem:
I motivate the mate, I push him hard to perform, I design our workout schedules, etc, etc.
All stuff I have done for myself thus far
I expected inviting him to join in to be fun but:
- He doesn't really push me to go harder. I outdo him on all weights by 35-50% but he doesn't push me to outdo myself and go harder
- He shows no interest in the out of workout stuff like planning routines, learning about what to changes to improve, etc

I am starting to feel like his personal trainer - a one way relationship - instead of what I wanted when I asked him to join.

What I wanted was to push my workout (and his) into a much higher level.

What I have gotten is not improving my workout, doesn't really ruin it either but it getting annoying.

What should I do?

I had this problem and solved it. Just tell him "Look man, I enjoy working out with you, but I feel like sometimes you're more of my personal trainee rather than my partner. I need you to motivate me like I motivate you. Make me squeeze out that extra rep, encourage me to go for 5 extra lbs, just try to help me help myself." He'll probably not change the first time, so have the talk again a couple days later. If he doesn't change he's just one of those many people in the world that are all take and no give. Good luck.

ClownBoy
05-23-2009, 07:49 PM
thanks boof - will report back after.

I have no doubt he will agree to the change. Am just not sure he knows how.

If he decides to stop coming then I may look on here for someone interested in teaming up.

Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy doing this myself and have no problem motivating myself to go harder. However there is a difference between how far you can push yourself and how far you can go if pushed by someone else - in my opinion.

bb24
05-23-2009, 10:03 PM
First, if they continually criticize you, and it bothers you, then I would suggest finding new friends to hang out with. Second, just wait a few years. If you stick with this, you'll not only look much better than them, but you'll be in GREAT shape, and they'll be old, fat, and married with kids (or worse). Your time will come.

Keep at it, man. I wish I was as dedicated to my diet as you were. You've got something very positive going on here, and I wish you the best!

VoxExMachina
05-23-2009, 10:45 PM
You're doing it for you, not for them. Keep the faith and watch how soon some of them come to your way of thinking.

blockmonkey
05-24-2009, 04:18 AM
insecurity it's a natural response to bring other people down to make themselves feel better

Nodice123
05-24-2009, 06:42 AM
I only get this when I don't drink at parties. People think I am trying to be a snob about not drinking which is not true at all. I don't even mention it, they usually bring up the fact that I'm not drinking and then when I tell them that I am on a cut they give you that look like they think you think you are better than them because you aren't drinking.

JerG
05-24-2009, 08:59 AM
You're 129lbs. You should loosen up a bit when it comes to eating dude.

-Lucifer
05-24-2009, 09:24 AM
You're 129lbs. You should loosen up a bit when it comes to eating dude.
^ This.

red_hot_tamale is bigger than you dude.

(no offense)

12weekhardbody
05-26-2009, 12:32 PM
Tell them you'll eat that **** IF and only IF they literally suck your dick (don't do this if any are gay). Chances are you won't have any takers. I'd say the subject won't be mentioned again. ;)

One Badass Mofo
08-17-2009, 07:44 AM
at least your friends work out. I have this friend who rocks up to gym 30% of the time, has the same ****ty lifts he had since highschool 3 years ago and looks like a skinny-fat little ****. Meanwhile he spews bullcrap like "eating fat will make you get fat, if you wanna lose weight you should eat carbs". was so tempted to rage at him

Djaye
08-17-2009, 08:51 AM
dont be so sensitive about it. unless they are seriously badgering you about it constantly or trying to shove junk food into you then theres no need to be so offended. they are just your friends after all.

ghostofinsanity89
08-17-2009, 10:51 AM
No reason for you to feel mad about it or w/e. Let them criticize you, it builds you up even more. Now if you let them affect you then you have much more to learn about body building. This is a lonely path we choose to walk. Are you ready?!

FoodBlister
08-18-2009, 10:07 PM
Challenge them to a new exercise, and make it public in front of other people. Especially in front of the same people that they have called you out on you eating healthy. Hell! Even do it in front of their girlfriends or the women they like. See how well they can take it compared to how well they dish it out.

They are called push aways! Push away that plate of fat pills, and see how long they last. Make a bet, Make some money, and see how many friends you keep or lose. If they don't get it then they will when they see your results.

Good Luck Mang!

WAPump
08-19-2009, 12:15 AM
haha i remember i posted this thread a while back and just checked the motivational section and saw it as a more recent post!

Thanks to all those who commented.

Fielder
08-19-2009, 03:03 AM
So in the last 8 months i have gotten very into weightlifting, nutrition, and health. My buddies (pretty much all on the highschool football team) just lift. they chuck out the healthy diet part. So they end up strong and stuff, but they all have like 17-19%body fat (nothing wrong with it, they just need to lay off McDonalds). Whenever i hangout with a buddy, we end up walking to a food store (7-11 and the like) and they get candy, hot dogs, donuts, etc.
I dont.
For some reason they feel the need to criticize me for eating healthy and stuff. things like "dude, do you even eat anymore?"
"its not that bad dude, just one coke."

anyone else had this experience? how to deal with it?

At least they lift.

I have a mental list in my head of things people have said to me:

Almost Two years ago when i first started: 'dude, you have been there for a month, you have proved you can do it, its not making a difference to you so just quit and come out with us'

Or this one that was left by a 'friend' on my facebook last week:

"***** yeah ok if u say sooo ... wonder if it will be short and fat like you, yeah well i dnt try and pass my fat off as muscle ... :P"

With exception of the dude i live with and my own mother, Nobody outside of the gym has ever tried to motivate me or ever said anything to me that wasn't negative. The harder i work or the more i lift the more **** i get from friends. It's always pretty hollow as well, If i wear anything small they will call me fat straight away, Even people who are visibly fatter then i am. Everyone of them tries to tell me that the gym is a 'place for F@ggots and Homos' and that 'real men go running' (ironically, most of them never run at all).

AlphaBrass01
08-19-2009, 05:27 AM
Yeah...I've got friends like that who lift, and others who don't. If they're your friends, do as someone already said and joke back about it. If they're decent friends, they may still mess with you about it, but they won't mean anything negative by it, as long as you don't let your nutrition choices completely alter the way you interact with them and the rest of your social life (which I know can be challenging at times).

soulburn
08-19-2009, 05:58 AM
Yeah, i have the same problem. I just see them as one of challenges i have to deal with.

I lost 10-11% bf which actually motivates me more and more every day.

Don't want to sound like a pervert but just take off your shirt and they'll s t f u :)

WAPump
08-19-2009, 10:11 PM
Yeah, i have the same problem. I just see them as one of challenges i have to deal with.

I lost 10-11% bf which actually motivates me more and more every day.

Don't want to sound like a pervert but just take off your shirt and they'll s t f u :)

haha no worries about shirt comment.

thimself
08-19-2009, 11:23 PM
they are most likely just jealous of your dedication man! Give em **** for eating so unhealthy and they'll quickly lay off...

WAPump
08-19-2009, 11:26 PM
they are most likely just jealous of your dedication man! Give em **** for eating so unhealthy and they'll quickly lay off...

we'll see. i haven't seen most of these guys for a while, so maybe they forgot/wont give me crap.

milosmom
08-20-2009, 08:00 PM
Guys do that?? i thought my girlfriends were bad.. They roll their eyes and try to get you to cheat and eat junk like them.. and get pissy when you don't... BUT heaven forbid the one time you do eat junk - it's like a feeding frenzy for vultures!! their all over you like.. WE KNEW you wouldn't last!! (like your eatting habits and exercise plan is what their talking about when your not around!! I'm surprised they don't hand off cash to each(like their running bets on me) when I do lighten up on my diet... what awesome friends huh!)

olddart
08-24-2009, 02:22 AM
ill trade you i have had about 5 of my good friends acuse me of being on everything from steriods,bullshark testosterone, artificial testosterone and growth hormone and many other things..........

id rather get crap for eating healthy.......