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View Full Version : O/T: Laura Gargani: 92 years of an Amazing life comes to an end....



JOHN GARGANI
09-05-2008, 04:43 AM
I have basically lived though 3 weeks of intense emotional hell, as my lovely Mother, who had the most healthy life that anyone could ever hope for, finally succumbed in a rapid fashion to a series of events, that, would not have been quite as bad, but was, due to the incredible bull**** of having to deal with todays Medical situation with Hospitals and Doctors.

I won't go into the endless details of all that, but, rather, talk about a very amazing life, and not because she was mine.

My Mother had not been in a hospital since she gave birth to me, at the age of 34, and for 58 years, up until last fall, she lived a medication and pain free life that would be the envy of all: no BP medication, no lipitor, no anything that so many people take...no arthritis...able to walk anywhere, any distance, driving ( the day before her hosp. admission, she was driving)....living in her own house, managing all of her own financial affairs with no problems whatsoever.....


And since my Dad had died 20 years ago, she had to do this last stretch by herself and managed quite nicely indeed.

But the person: we are talking about a person that everyone looked up to, a person that had to be a surrogate Mother to everyone in the family: as I was growing up, there was always an endless procession of cousins coming to my house to speak to "Aunt Laura": " Aunt Laura: my Father said this to me, or I can't say this to my Mother, or, my boyfriend did this, or my wife or husband said that"........MAN! I had to hear it all! LOL.......But my Mother had this amazing approachability and kind and gentle communication and advice, of which they all felt more comfortable with than their own parents for whatever reason.

Consequently, my Mother was a legend of a sort, within my family. Everyone wanted to be with her, talk to her, etc and so on........

Despite that competition, she was able to be the best Mother one could hope for to my Sister and I, as, in some crazy way, she was able to be everyone else's Mother without taking away an iota from us.

Even my Wife, Barbara: from after I married her, if she needed Mother/Daughter type of advice or talk, would go straight to my Mother instead of her own! LOL......


But: in spite of this energetic and healthy life, of which she volunteered and particpated in everything under the sun and went everywhere you possibly could: of which in spite of working a very tough job as a seamstress back when they didn't all have air conditioning, she was always learning something new, always going to some sort of night classes.

How about this: she loved to cut hair: so she went at night for years to take up Beautician school, finished, passed the license test and never worked a day of her life as a beautician: simply wanted to do it for the fun of it!


In fact, just a month before she took ill, she had just completed 6 weeks of INTERNET TRAINING!!! at the age of 92.....My Mother has a laptop in her house with high speed internet!

In spite of all of this life and vitality, and never looking her age at all: inside, I guess we all age, and when she started out with what was Renal failure 3 weeks ago, it led to a cascading series of events of which she was not surprised at all and very accepting of, due to her nature, but of which we couldn't understand and had to battle the Doctors over for the last 3 weeks......

Finally, the last two days, she was in Calvary Hospital, now unconscious, and ready to breathe her last.


WELL: between endless hosp hours, and trying to keep my office together amidst this, much in my life has had to take a backseat, including working out.

The work isn't over, because now we have to plan the funeral and then my Sister and I have the unenviable task of settling the whole estate and all that nonsense....

So what can we learn from all of this: what we all know anyway: that we have to treasure every day of life and love that we do have here, as I am sure most of you are already aware.

And that AGE is a bitch and Father Time is a tough opponent, so that we have to maximize what we do in our life as much as we can , when we can.


My Mother certainly did that.....

gbg
09-05-2008, 05:12 AM
John, she sounded like an amazing woman and something like that will only be carried through from generation to generation.
I'm so sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family.

Guinness42
09-05-2008, 05:32 AM
Sorry for your loss John. Sounds like your mother lived a pretty blessed life and was quite the woman.

Prayers out to you and the family.

dbx
09-05-2008, 05:32 AM
It's obvious that you had a deep affection for her, and that she lived a wonderful life. My condolences to you and your family.

Chipman
09-05-2008, 05:40 AM
Sorry for your loss.

claycat
09-05-2008, 05:42 AM
I am so sorry for your loss, best to you and your family.

The above post is a wonderful tribute to her and I enjoyed reading about her.

ntrllftr
09-05-2008, 05:52 AM
I am the worst at these things. All I can say is:

Sorry for your loss man.

.

Jimislash
09-05-2008, 06:35 AM
It sounds like you were blessed with an incredible mother. I am very sorry for your loss. My prayers go out for you and your family.

StressMonkey
09-05-2008, 07:04 AM
Very sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was an incredible person.

Arlecchino
09-05-2008, 07:33 AM
Very sorry. Best wishes to you and your family.

IronCamp
09-05-2008, 08:34 AM
John, she sounded like an amazing woman and something like that will only be carried through from generation to generation.
I'm so sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family.

x2. I love your post about her too...you really captured my attention.

SP1966
09-05-2008, 08:38 AM
I am the worst at these things. All I can say is:

Sorry for your loss man.

.
Couldn't say it better, or worse myself!

Sorry for you families loss.

wulf88
09-05-2008, 08:45 AM
John, soo sorry for your loss. The world just lost another great person!!!

ironwill2008
09-05-2008, 09:17 AM
I'm sorry for your loss.

MsBodyhard
09-05-2008, 10:04 AM
x2. I love your post about her too...you really captured my attention.

x3 Sorry for your loss and BH sends his condolences

Mark1T
09-05-2008, 10:41 AM
John, thank you for sharing such a personal and emotional, but motivational story. I am glad that you and your family can find some comfort from the way your Mother lived and not the way her health failed. Since she was so giving, I am sure she would want you to feel that way.

All the best, John.

GnomusMaximus
09-05-2008, 10:46 AM
Sorry for your loss.

rpaul11
09-05-2008, 11:06 AM
John. I really don't know you, nor your mother, but it appears as though you and your family have truly been blessed by her existence. Treasure that and hold it tight:) As for the task of you and your sister handling her extate. Some simple advice for you to take or disregard. Consider hiring an estate attorney. It costs a few bucks (which can come out of the estate) but it alleviates a lot of headaches for you and your sister.

Good luck

V-240
09-05-2008, 11:31 AM
John, thanks for sharing that. A great mom you had. They just don't build them like that any more!

cgc
09-05-2008, 12:08 PM
x2. I love your post about her too...you really captured my attention.

In deed....she sounds like a remarkable woman who any of us would have been truly blessed to meet.

My prayers are with you and your family as you deal with this loss...

.

Zingaritano
09-05-2008, 02:20 PM
Truly a motivational story. I mourn with you.

Geoff Richards
09-05-2008, 04:06 PM
I have basically lived though 3 weeks of intense emotional hell, as my lovely Mother, who had the most healthy life that anyone could ever hope for, finally succumbed in a rapid fashion to a series of events, that, would not have been quite as bad, but was, due to the incredible bull**** of having to deal with todays Medical situation with Hospitals and Doctors.

I won't go into the endless details of all that, but, rather, talk about a very amazing life, and not because she was mine.

My Mother had not been in a hospital since she gave birth to me, at the age of 34, and for 58 years, up until last fall, she lived a medication and pain free life that would be the envy of all: no BP medication, no lipitor, no anything that so many people take...no arthritis...able to walk anywhere, any distance, driving ( the day before her hosp. admission, she was driving)....living in her own house, managing all of her own financial affairs with no problems whatsoever.....


And since my Dad had died 20 years ago, she had to do this last stretch by herself and managed quite nicely indeed.

But the person: we are talking about a person that everyone looked up to, a person that had to be a surrogate Mother to everyone in the family: as I was growing up, there was always an endless procession of cousins coming to my house to speak to "Aunt Laura": " Aunt Laura: my Father said this to me, or I can't say this to my Mother, or, my boyfriend did this, or my wife or husband said that"........MAN! I had to hear it all! LOL....... But my Mother had this amazing approachability and kind and gentle communication and advice, of which they all felt more comfortable with than their own parents for whatever reason.

Consequently, my Mother was a legend of a sort, within my family. Everyone wanted to be with her, talk to her, etc and so on........

Despite that competition, she was able to be the best Mother one could hope for to my Sister and I, as, in some crazy way, she was able to be everyone else's Mother without taking away an iota from us.

Even my Wife, Barbara: from after I married her, if she needed Mother/Daughter type of advice or talk, would go straight to my Mother instead of her own! LOL......


But: in spite of this energetic and healthy life, of which she volunteered and particpated in everything under the sun and went everywhere you possibly could: of which in spite of working a very tough job as a seamstress back when they didn't all have air conditioning, she was always learning something new, always going to some sort of night classes.

How about this: she loved to cut hair: so she went at night for years to take up Beautician school, finished, passed the license test and never worked a day of her life as a beautician: simply wanted to do it for the fun of it!


In fact, just a month before she took ill, she had just completed 6 weeks of INTERNET TRAINING!!! at the age of 92.....My Mother has a laptop in her house with high speed internet!

In spite of all of this life and vitality, and never looking her age at all: inside, I guess we all age, and when she started out with what was Renal failure 3 weeks ago, it led to a cascading series of events of which she was not surprised at all and very accepting of, due to her nature, but of which we couldn't understand and had to battle the Doctors over for the last 3 weeks......

Finally, the last two days, she was in Calvary Hospital, now unconscious, and ready to breathe her last.


WELL: between endless hosp hours, and trying to keep my office together amidst this, much in my life has had to take a backseat, including working out.

The work isn't over, because now we have to plan the funeral and then my Sister and I have the unenviable task of settling the whole estate and all that nonsense....

So what can we learn from all of this: what we all know anyway: that we have to treasure every day of life and love that we do have here, as I am sure most of you are already aware.

And that AGE is a bitch and Father Time is a tough opponent, so that we have to maximize what we do in our life as much as we can , when we can.


My Mother certainly did that.....



seems to me that she has already passed on her attributes to you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family John

Bando
09-05-2008, 04:33 PM
A moving tribute, it's obvious you not only loved her but respected her and many others did the same. Sorry for your loss, it sounds like she will be missed by a great many. Prayers for you during this tough time.

freebirdmac
09-05-2008, 05:02 PM
Sorry to hear you lost your wonderful mom. You're a very lucky son. And you obviously learned a great deal from her.

GreenWave1
09-05-2008, 05:21 PM
Please accept my sincerest condolences. Best to you and your family coping with the loss of this special lady.

Reality_Check
09-05-2008, 07:16 PM
My deepest condolences. Praying for you and your family.

BergMuscle
09-05-2008, 07:44 PM
So sorry to hear about your loss. :(

JOHN GARGANI
09-05-2008, 10:50 PM
thank you to my many friends on this site for your well wishes..means a lot to me!!

LUKEDEICHER
09-05-2008, 11:12 PM
You are a strong man both physically and emotionally John.

You will pull through overtime and your bb.com friends and family will always be here for you.

Tyrbolift
09-05-2008, 11:25 PM
I am very sorry about your Mom, John. It helps me appreciate my own, who will be there all too soon.

blw_redone
09-06-2008, 06:58 AM
I'm sorry for your loss John and, yet, at the same time, I am joyed at your gain. You had the most wonderful experience and opportunity to witness and be molded by a woman of virtue, selflessness and joy for life. Here is the secret to immortality - Honor your mother in every word that is uttered from your mouth and in every deed that you perform and her legacy will live forever through you and others who are affected by you. Keep a smile on your face knowing that when your mother departed this cruel world she left something eternally yours - hope. No matter what is happening in your life, despite whatever adversities you may face, your mother gave you the grace to handle all things. I truly envy you.