hey guys, im only 14 but i need help with my dad *please read*

[tatortotajigalo]

Hey guys. I want to get my dad into lifting so him and I can do it together as a father and son activity. Everytime i ask him to come weight train with me, he complains he is too tired or what not. All he does is sit at home and watch T.V. after work. Keep in mind that he is not lazy, he works for an energy company with construction and goes out and fixes gass leaks. Sometimes he doesnt come home at night. It is very hard work.

He is 6ft. and weighs about 235. He is not obese, but he does have a big belly like any other normal american guy. He is probably 23% b/f. He is very strong, but not weightlifting strong. For ex. he can do hard work and lift heavy things but he cant lift alot while weightlifting. So I think that if i got him to start training, it wouldnt take long for him to build some amazing strength.


I guess what im asking is; do you'll know if there is a way i can motivate him to workout with me?

Tator


EDIT: he is 45 years old

[magicdad]

Well, first off I think it's commendable that you want to spend more time with your father, and that you're thinking of his health. I'm the same age as your dad, and I can tell you that a big weight training motivator for me was NOT to get the typical American man's belly. I also have two boys, one of whom is a college athlete, and I kind of get a kick out of still being able to fit into any of his clothes.

Of course you know your dad better than any of us do, so try to think up a good game plan for the two of you to work out together. For example, you say that he is understandably tired when he gets home from work. Is it possible for you to work out together in the morning? You might explain to him that he will then have more energy for work once he gets into regular exercise. Then let the man enjoy his TV shows after work. Maybe even watch one or two with him. As long as it's not the only time you spend together, watching some TV together can still count as family time.

Also, formulate a short and relatively easy program that you think he might like to do. Search the exercise guidelines on this website and others like exrx.net for a good beginner's routine for him. Like the rest of us, there will probably be exercises he likes more than others - try to anticipate what those are and make up a routine based on those exercises. Equipment too. Maybe he'll like dumbbells better than barbell exercises, or machines better than free weights (yes, he'd be better off in the long run with free weights and more strenuous routines, but for now it doesn't matter - something is better than nothing). Don't go hardcore here, just introduce him to weightlifting very gradually, so that he's not turned off by the thought of having to do even more work than he already does.

Possibly encourage him with compliments, if you think he would respond well to them. Say stuff like, "Dad, if you worked out you'd have guns! You wouldn't even have to do that much!" or "Man, most guys your age would kill to have your natural frame." But tread carefully. Don't push him, and don't expect any miraculous changes right away. That could happen, but it usually doesn't, so be patient.

Last but not least, impress upon him that it's something that you'd like to do WITH him. Most kids your age are looking to spend LESS time with their parents, so if he's like most dads he'll appreciate that you want to do anything at all with him, and that will hopefully get him off the couch and into the weight room with you.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

[NuclearArms]

Short answer is NO, you are probably not going to instantly motivate him.

However, stay persistent in pestering him. Life and priorities change all the time. Best of luck.

[hapkido]

Is it just me or did I see this very same post a week ago, and the week before that?
If not forgive me for this post!

[crazycelt]

Hey guys. I want to get my dad into lifting so him and I can do it together as a father and son activity. Everytime i ask him to come weight train with me, he complains he is too tired or what not. All he does is sit at home and watch T.V. after work. Keep in mind that he is not lazy, he works for an energy company with construction and goes out and fixes gass leaks. Sometimes he doesnt come home at night. It is very hard work.

He is 6ft. and weighs about 235. He is not obese, but he does have a big belly like any other normal american guy. He is probably 23% b/f. He is very strong, but not weightlifting strong. For ex. he can do hard work and lift heavy things but he cant lift alot while weightlifting. So I think that if i got him to start training, it wouldnt take long for him to build some amazing strength.


I guess what im asking is; do you'll know if there is a way i can motivate him to workout with me?

Tator


EDIT: he is 45 years old

My best advice is to lead by example. Every time you go to the gym, make sure he's aware of what your doing. It never hurts to continue to ask from time to time if he's interested. Someday you may get the the "right" response. You are clearly a loving son. Never give up! Good luck!!

[NashvilleBound]

Cool thread! I hope you can get him in there with you. Definitely keep up posted on how it goes!

[StartinOver-68]

If he has never lifted before the odds are he won't be receptive to it now. If he shows even the slightest move toward fitness I don't think training together with a teenage son that can out bench you is a good start. That is strictly my own personal view.

Short answer... People do what they want to do, not what someone else wants them to do. Good luck.

[Odin1970]

Tell him if he dosent, in a few years (or maybe next) you'll kick his ass.

My old man always got jacked up when I started telling him I would kick his ass, then we'd wrestle, eventually I over took him.

[redweston]

What you want to do is great, maybe figure out a time that would be good for both of you, you say he works hard maybe before work might be better. It's a habit you have him to get into!

[SV1000]

What you do today could be be just a memory tomorrow, for either of you. Let him know that life is too short to not spend the time in the gym together...I talked to my Dad at 4:30 after school, at 12:30 the next morning my Mom woke me up and told me he died in a motorcycle accident on the way to see me and my sister; I was 13.

Delivery is everything in this situation, he is dead tired for sure, but most parents are at the end of the day.

If my 14 year old were 5'-8" and 195 lbs I would love to push him harder

[GO BIG]

Straight talk big guy! Sit down and SPEAK to him from the heart, tell him that you want to do something with HIM. From you're post it seems you have great respect and admiration for your Dad, something which seems to be missing in soceity today. Tell him that!

My boy is 18 now and lives with his Mom and tends to have his own life which means I don't see too much of him and although we've always been close I do find myself wishing I'd spent a lot more time with him than I did.

[jwdjrs]

What you do today could be be just a memory tomorrow, for either of you. Let him know that life is too short to not spend the time in the gym together...I talked to my Dad at 4:30 after school, at 12:30 the next morning my Mom woke me up and told me he died in a motorcycle accident on the way to see me and my sister; I was 13.

Delivery is everything in this situation, he is dead tired for sure, but most parents are at the end of the day.

If my 14 year old were 5'-8" and 195 lbs I would love to push him harder

I'm very sorry you lost your Dad at such a young age

[jude-o]

You might try to get him to do something that requires less commitment, such as asking him to come to the gym to spot for you or keep you company. Once he's there, you could encourage him to try a lift or two. I'd suggest deadlift if you know the proper form; most people can lift a fairly ego-inflating amount of a weight on the deadlift their first time out.

Simply having the chance to watch you work out, to get some sense for the process would likely encourage him to try it himself. A lot of people are hesitant to start lifting simply because they don't know what they're doing/should be doing.

Good luck! I think it's great that you want to spend time with him and help him get in better shape.

[Stenn]

I'd make it clear that you don't necessarily want your dad to become a competition lifter or bodybuilder. You just want to spend time with him and share a sport that you love. If that doesn't work, ask him if there is some other way that he would prefer to spend time with you.

Good luck,
Steve

[Roger999]

Hey guys. I want to get my dad into lifting so him and I can do it together as a father and son activity. Everytime i ask him to come weight train with me, he complains he is too tired or what not. All he does is sit at home and watch T.V. after work. Keep in mind that he is not lazy, he works for an energy company with construction and goes out and fixes gass leaks. Sometimes he doesnt come home at night. It is very hard work.

He is 6ft. and weighs about 235. He is not obese, but he does have a big belly like any other normal american guy. He is probably 23% b/f. He is very strong, but not weightlifting strong. For ex. he can do hard work and lift heavy things but he cant lift alot while weightlifting. So I think that if i got him to start training, it wouldnt take long for him to build some amazing strength.


I guess what im asking is; do you'll know if there is a way i can motivate him to workout with me?

Tator


EDIT: he is 45 years old

i have a similar case, my dad is similar to what you described but at like 18%BF, and his 68kg, his not lazy either, he always does alot of stuff around the house and kinda strong but cant lift much with weights, except i dont really want him to come with me, he never stops talking once he starts , my dad is 50 i think

[Aquilius]

@tator

In addidion to what magicdad said, one of the main problems will be that your dad is probably REALLY exhausted from his physical labour.

If he can afford it, a pre-workout energizer may help provide the energy and stamina to go working out despite that feeling of fatigue.

There are many different ones, from simple things like a Vitamin B complex, or caffeine, over non-Stims like MAN BodyOctane, mild-Stims like MRM Driven, and strong Stims (not good to take in the afternoon/evening). It mustn't be a complex arginine/pump supplement, just something to help overcome the feeling of fatigue and lethargy after a stressful day to get in the groove for the first few weeks.

If fatigue is his problem, talk to him about it. Many companies offer samples he may try.

Regards,
Aquilius

[TH28]

Maybe he just thinks that everybody at the gym looks like you. Maybe he just self-conscios about not being 'gym strong'. Try to explain how much more energy he would have after he started working out. Offer a trade, if you come to the gym for a week with me, I'll do _____ for you.
Not even sure that's 2 cents worth, but its' all I got.
Good Luck.

[LR3]

hmmm... you can take his car-keys or wallet and make him chase you to get them back. seriously, it is going to be difficult to motivate someone who is not interested. we are all tired when we get home from work, that is why i do my lifting in the morning before work, and cardio at lunch

for a lot of us, it takes something like a injury or worse, a warning from a doctor telling us that if we don't get ourselves into shape, we are not going to be around to see our grand children. good luck with it.

[MUSCLE FORTRESS]

Just try and get him to commit to a couple nights a week. Get all his stuff ready on those nights greet him with a smile and a shake (MRP) when he walks thru the door and start getting him amped/excited to come lift with you. Turn it into a nice little contest. Most important keep it so your both having fun and you just might make a good friend while your at it. Good luck. Keep us posted.

[Aquilius]

I just noticed your stats. If those are not just estats, very impressive for 14 years old. You may want to hold back a little initially when training with your dad, or he may become demotivated when you outlift him.

Regards,
Aquilius

[FittyFour]

I just noticed your stats. If those are not just estats, very impressive for 14 years old. You may want to hold back a little initially when training with your dad, or he may become demotivated when you outlift him.

I train with my son 3X a week and really look forward to it! It's tough to carve out the time with work and all, and am definitely a little trashed at the end of the day. But I get it done since we'd both be disappointed if I didn't make it.

He's incredibly powerful - stronger than I am at this age, and stronger than I was when I was his age (22). He enjoys letting me watch him workout and I get a kick out of it - really proud of him!

Funny thing is he says he would never challenge me though - because I have "father strength".

Something to be said for that!