femininity in males

[Skydance]

The question I am asking is how women feel about this.

Does it bother you or do you look down on it after a certain point? And what point would that be? Would it make a difference if this male was sexually interested in females, males, both or neither?
I am just a prissy one that would like to know but don't let that stop you from being honest, please I won't take any offense.
cheers

[Amris]

Depends on the characteristic. I don't really like my guy to wear a dress, but I don't mind when he has good taste in picking out a purse for me.

[Skydance]

Depends on the characteristic. I don't really like my guy to wear a dress, but I don't mind when he has good taste in picking out a purse for me.

ok so by your guy, I take it you mean your boyfreind.
How about if to you he was not on romantic terms? How about if it was just a freind that you knew and he liked to wear dresses, make-up or had other typically feminine interests?

[Plato458]

Feminity covers a lot of ground depending on what you mean - looks, attitude, emotions etc.

I had a real alpha male bf who stunned me on day by asking to dress up - it was a little odd to get my head around (and stop my jaw from dropping ) but I just said Okodoki, and then we raided my wardrobe and make-up.

It was good fun and a quite a liberating experience. We did it lots of times and I have to say he looked better in my Agent Provocateur knickers than I did.

Best way I can describe it was like seeing someone you know wearing glasses for the first time or after a facelift/big weight change. Just takes a few minutes to look past it and remember who they still are.

Bit of pscho babble here - he had a very responsible job and always was the one who shouldered issues, I think we ended up together because I'm just as 'in charge' and he felt he could be himself and vulnerable.

My thinking is that if I like getting dressed up and lipstick- why not a guy ? I wear trousers afterall and he didn't complain.

I find girly looking men a real turn-off - Leonardo Di Caprio makes my skin crawl. This isn't because women aren't attractive - I just like men to look like alpha guys with square features. Not so keen on guys who get all deep and meaningful. I find it all a bit much and like therapy.

There's my 2p

[Sciamach]

I just like men to look like alpha guys with square features. Not so keen on guys who get all deep and meaningful. I find it all a bit much and like therapy.

There's my 2p

I'm quite the opposite. And when i say that by no means am i saying i like guys who cross dress (absolutely not!) By "feminine" i mean perhaps more feminine-ish features such as high cheekbones or whatnot. Not feminine in actions or dress.

[Amris]

ok so by your guy, I take it you mean your boyfreind.
How about if to you he was not on romantic terms? How about if it was just a freind that you knew and he liked to wear dresses, make-up or had other typically feminine interests?

If I'm not dating him and he's just a friend, I don't care at all what he does, one way or another. Why would I??

[stella summers]

I'm quite the opposite. And when i say that by no means am i saying i like guys who cross dress (absolutely not!) By "feminine" i mean perhaps more feminine-ish features such as high cheekbones or whatnot. Not feminine in actions or dress.

It's actually a fact that most females find men with feminine-like facial features to be more attractive.

[Uncategorizable]

It doesn't make a difference to me as long as a person is confident with oneself. I don't buy into the "masculine/feminine" dictonomy anyway. I'm pretty "awkward" myself, or so people say

[Skydance]

It's actually a fact that most females find men with feminine-like facial features to be more attractive.

Are you also put off by feminine actions or dress by males? Or where would you draw the line? (assuming that there is a line)

[stella summers]

I would actually find it attractive if I had a boyfriend who dressed up and surprisingly looks good. It would make me believe that our children would most likely turn out to be very attractive, regardless of sex.

As far as feminine actions...it would be nice if the guy had fashion sense and knows how to look good, because it shows that he can take care of himself. And I would be totally fine if he were to ever cry or be vulnerable in front of me. It would tell me that he can trust me and open himself up in front of me.

My attraction towards females could be a factor in this...I don't know.

[mom2adiva]

I don't like men who know what I mean when I say "product" and am referring to what I use in my hair

I don't like men who take longer than me to get ready. I am extremely girly and I take awhile to get ready

I love the fact that my husband was not the least bit grossed out by getting blood on his shirt when our son was born(my OB let my hubby pull him out after his head an shoulders were delivered)

I don't like men who can "accesorize"

I don't really like men who get manicures

I want a man who STILL outweighs me by quite a bit(and an in shape quite a bit) when I was 9 mos pregnant

I need to know he can fix my car, fix the plumbing, paint the walls and still cuddle our kids

He has to be a beer drinker and not a wine man

Has to love football

Umm I think that's it

[Skydance]

I don't like men who know what I mean when I say "product" and am referring to what I use in my hair

I don't like men who take longer than me to get ready. I am extremely girly and I take awhile to get ready

I love the fact that my husband was not the least bit grossed out by getting blood on his shirt when our son was born(my OB let my hubby pull him out after his head an shoulders were delivered)

I don't like men who can "accesorize"

I don't really like men who get manicures

I want a man who STILL outweighs me by quite a bit(and an in shape quite a bit) when I was 9 mos pregnant

I need to know he can fix my car, fix the plumbing, paint the walls and still cuddle our kids

He has to be a beer drinker and not a wine man

Has to love football

Umm I think that's it

Wow I feel so hated and I don't even know you,(you got me on atleast 8 out of 9 there) but its all cool, thanks for replying.

[Revmachine21]

I read a study that woman of ovulating years have different preferences during the different parts of the ovulation cycle. In a nutshell...

Before and after ovulation, women tend to prefer men's faces with more feminine traits. During ovulation, women tend to prefer man's faces with more masculine traits.

For the ladies, these tendencies prompt finding a reproductive mate with high testosterone, classic inverted triangle form, of strong healthy stock. These tendencies also prompt finding a domestic partner for the other 26-27 infertile days with less testosterone, more caring & nurturing who would be easier to live with & a better father figure for children.

All these finding are broad generalizations... not all high testosterone males are uncaring, not all lesser testosterone males are better fathers, etc.

And before we start freaking about women catting about & getting knocked up by men other than their partners, the study documented only preference differences, not behavioral ones!

[mom2adiva]

Wow I feel so hated and I don't even know you,(you got me on atleast 8 out of 9 there) but its all cool, thanks for replying.

I'm sorry It's not really about hating, I realized after I typed this that I basically described my husband so I guess I married my "type". I'm guess it's more that I'm old fashioned in some of my thinking of traditonal male/female things. Now by the same token when my husband mentioned the first hunting season we were married, that he wanted to bring back the deer and take care of it in our garage of all places........umm I freaked a bit, well alot.

So......what do you think of high maintenance women?

[=M=]

I tend to be pretty live and let live...whatever floats your boat. That said, I'm not sure that my hubby could ever pull off the dresses and makeup thing. That's just not who he is, and I don't think that I would like my husband to look more "girly" than me. Course, I'm a "tomboy", so it wouldn't be too hard for some guys to look more "girly" than me.

[Skydance]

I'm sorry It's not really about hating, I realized after I typed this that I basically described my husband so I guess I married my "type". I'm guess it's more that I'm old fashioned in some of my thinking of traditonal male/female things. Now by the same token when my husband mentioned the first hunting season we were married, that he wanted to bring back the deer and take care of it in our garage of all places........umm I freaked a bit, well alot.

So......what do you think of high maintenance women?

No need to be sorry its fine.

I can see where you would have an issue with the deer in your garage. The thought of hunting in general is very unpleasant for me.

Now, lets see if I can answer your question about high maintenance women.
I guess I like the high maintenance characteristic, when the person maintains his/herself, I indeed respect it.
If I were in a relationship with a woman who was high maintenance, I would have no problem as long as it wasn't my job to maintain her.

[mom2adiva]

No need to be sorry its fine.

I can see where you would have an issue with the deer in your garage. The thought of hunting in general is very unpleasant for me.

Now, lets see if I can answer your question about high maintenance women.
I guess I like the high maintenance characteristic, when the person maintains his/herself, I indeed respect it.
If I were in a relationship with a woman who was high maintenance, I would have no problem as long as it wasn't my job to maintain her.

I'm rofl over here, cause my husband told me when I was pregnant with both kids that there was no way in he11 he was painting my toenails for me

[pgb2006]

I'm rofl over here, cause my husband told me when I was pregnant with both kids that there was no way in he11 he was painting my toenails for me

I love a masculine man. I met this guy who was a very thin and studious fellow and while I liked him and was interested in spending some time around him I noticed he made me edgy. I got the feeling I was sitting next to a nervous and shaky french poodle. I`d consider the nervousness and hand motions to being on the feminine side and I`d have to say while a woman behaving this way would seem ok as long as it wasn`t so exessive it got on my nerves. But the guy being nervous like this ruled him out as far as dating and future marriage possibilities. He wasn`t my "type".

I went for short to med heigth with size to the body and thickness to the forearms was a big plus for me and the attitude of being a steady,calm and fearless was something I admired. It made me feel at ease and comfortable like I was safe with this guy.

As far as friends we are talking about something way,way different here!!! Choosing a mate and choosing friends is not the same thing. I actually made friends with the nervous guy and married his more calm and predictable brother! If my husband`s brother had ever painted his fingernails and wore a dress I would think that was wierd..nothing personal like I`d hate him but it would kinda creep me out until I got used to being around him I guess.

Maybe bb.com needs a section for bodybuilding drag queens.

[TurbulentFluid]

Well... OK, this is difficult.

Physically&personality wise, I don't like masculine men and am more attractive to what you'd call more "effeminate" type - gentler features, thin bodies, rounded and softer curves. Also, I prefer less bodily hair - specially around "critical" parts , so I dig when a guy's willing to shave.
Also, mentally, I'm into artistic/educated type. There's nothing in the world more boring to me than a macho; they're incredibly predictable and horribly boring - they seem to have 1-2 "manly" interests and that's it. I'm not looking for "protection" or "safety" or his ability to beat up 10 bigger guys and drink a barrel of beer, I'd rather be with someone who can make 2 hours seem like 10 minutes of good, humorous and witty conversation!
Age-wise, it has to be strictly my age or maybe a year younger/older. I noticed younger guys are simply too immature, and older guys tend to start "fathering".
Also, a man who can cook is a total turn-on. Makes me feel I'm with someone who can take care of himself and that I'm not perceived as the Other Mother.

However, I detest metros and, in general, people who pay too much attention to their looks, image and presentation. I like a guy who knows how to dress, but it has to be simple and within reason. I take about 25 seconds to get ready to go somewhere and I certainly won't tolerate waiting for him for half an hour. I mostly dress into unisex clothes as they're very practical, I surely wouldn't tolerate a guy who have 15 minutes of thought to his choice of shirt.
Make-up, cross-dress and such are totally and completely out of the question unless it's a prank!

As for friends; that's a whole different caboodle, as others have stated. I choose my friends from the group of people with similar interests and preferences, and I'll usually go for people who are older / smarter than me since I like to be around people whom I can learn from. As for everything else, I'm very liberal - I have friends who are nazis, communists, gays, effeminate, she-males and I didn't run into a transvestite yet, but if he fit into the above described categories... why not!

[Skydance]

Judging from the responses, I see that the default interpretation of the question was what do you look for in a man for a romantic relationship?

I think that because this appeared to be the main focus, the other possibilities seemed to come across like, 'oh if I am not dating him what do I care he may as well be a massmurder.'

The question was also not intended to be, "Could you be freinds with feminine male?" I would be quite surprised if from a genetically female population, the answer to that was no.

I think being freinds with somebody does not stop you from passing judgement on them. That doesn't mean you have to tell them every single thing that they do which you don't approve of. But in this case I was curious specifically how females felt about feminine males.
By feminine, I meant that maybe this male individual liked to play with dolls as a child, liked to play jump rope with girls, like playing dress up and possibly still does. Maybe likes to go out with women shopping and has no problem being included in that conversation about the hot guy behind the counter at the supplement store.
To say that you don't pass judgement on anybody doesn't ring true. Or maybe thats my opinion because I am just a very judgemental person. For example, most of my male freinds will cheat on their women at the first opportunity that they believe they can get away with it. I somewhat look down on this behaviour but it won't hinder my ability to hang out with them. I have had female freinds who cheat on their man and I probably think a little lower about this activity because I expect better from females (I am a closet female supremist); but it still wouldn't make want to stay keep my distance from her. Swingers are even more difficult for me to relate to, but I have still been able to remain freinds with them inspite of how I feel about their activities. I don't think I could be freinds with a nazi, ****phile, mass murder or a communist.
I must still emphasize that inspite of the responses not answering specifically what I was asking, I found them interesting and I appreciated them as well.

Cheers

[TurbulentFluid]

But in this case I was curious specifically how females felt about feminine males.

Now this is a rather confusing thing... Firstly, it's very difficult for me to answer a FEEL. I might try and express what I THINK.
Also, it's very difficult for me to have an opinion without a context. I mean, what do I care if some guy I'll never meet, never have any contact with, and won't be aware of his existance, is a Whatever, if you know what I mean? I can tell what I'd put in bed, what I'd consider a friend, and what I'd consider an enemy, but I can't speak in Generalities. I suddenly remembered one of your posts, and realised why you're asking the question - but I still don't know what kind of an answer to give. If you're asking if I APPROVE of the above described guy, I cannot answer that. I have no RIGHT to "approve" or "disapprove" of anyone or anything anyone does, or the lifestyle they choose. Everything is allowed as long as you're not hurting anyone in the process. Or are you asking me if I found it laughable? Not really - we all have our quirks and weirdnesses. Just don't wear the underwear on the outside, THAT'S an overkill.

I remember telling you I grew up with guys, did everything that guys do, and actually act as a guy. Often it's difficult to tell whether I'm a guy or a girl, both behavior and appearance wise. I'm a mechanical engineer. I never played with dolls. I never in my life wore make-up. Never had my nails done. I lift weights. I always hang out with guys. I'm prone to say I don't understand women. I'm heterosexual, and a homophobe (sorry.).
Should I ask if people APPROVED of this? I am me, I cannot change who and what I am, and other people's "approval" isn't a relevant thing because it cannot change anything. I could playact, of course, but I have one life and I'm not about to spend it being who I'm EXPECTED to be, or live a lie. There are people who "disapprove" of my lifestyle, but they have the freedom to exclude me from their lives, and I'm only too happy to go.

As for judgement on friends, I don't bring judgement on my friends. If I DID find something significant that went against my nature and didn't think only highest things about these people, they wouldn't BE friends. I don't consider cheaters or swingers my friends - regardless of sex, if you cheat you lie, if you lie you are not trustworthy, and trust is a very crucial characteristic of a friend.

It saddens me that you put communists, nazis, ****philes and mass murderers in the same boat, tho. I grew up in Yugoslavia, and communists were much better than today's capitalists. Also, my Nazi friends are very critical about who they hang out with - but they never DID anything to anyone, and that's a BIG difference, between what you BELIEVE and what you DO. I'd never consider someone who hurts other people a friend, but if they decide not to hang out with blacks and jews, well, it's their right, I suppose. Mass murderers and ****philes, on the other hand, should be removed by the system quickly, expeditively and with minimum tax money spent on their removal. Now that's my opinion.

[pgb2006]

If you ask for opinions then you will get tons of different view points.

There is one thing I do know as far as friends. If you are contented to just be yourself then you do good to have about 5 close,true friends. Other people are in the aquaintance category. That is me. I prefer to have a handful of friends who like me the way I am that I can depend on no matter what than to try and get tons of admirers by appealing to the most popular people and trying to be like someone else.

I`m stuck in my life wearing my own shoes so I have to make the best of it and anything else would be running after things I can`t have or "chasing the wind". It seems like in order to get many admirers or even many fair weather friends you have to "conform" some way or another or change things about yourself to "fit in". That could be great or it could be a huge bother depending.

[Skydance]

You mentioned approval verses disapproval several times there, such that I feel the need clarify its application to my inquiry. As you pointed out you, just as most people reading this board, do not know me personally and probably never will, but that doesn't mean that we can't exchange ideas. For that reason if my goal was to get an approval, then I would be a fool. My goal was just to get an idea of what females thought on this matter. If I encountered an opinion that was totally offbase, as a courtesy, and in a polite fashion, I would point out the flaws in that line of thought. I was NOT looking for approval. If I would have been then the answer would have been in the form of a approve or dissapprove.
I think the topic is more complicated than that. I also believe that most people in general are not very well versed with its complexities. For instance your heterosexual verses homosexual statement implies that you think that if a male donns a dress that he must be homosexual, which couldn't be further from the truth. Its actually possible that a male might even like males but would never act on it, because the desire was only to be with a male as a female, and if that was not possible then gay sex might still be repulsive to this individual.

I have just stated 2 possibilities but the truth is that the possibilities are endless. If you have heard the term 'a lesbian trapped in a male's body', that might seem funny. But just as well, its very real and very much out there.

I could go into detail about why I think Nazis or Communists are not people I want as freinds, but that is not the topic I had in mind with this thread.

[Defiant1]

Oh yea...

Now THIS is what I'm TALKIN' BOUT when guys post in the womens side!!


Yes!!

[Defiant1]

I read a study that woman of ovulating years have different preferences during the different parts of the ovulation cycle. In a nutshell...

Before and after ovulation, women tend to prefer men's faces with more feminine traits. During ovulation, women tend to prefer man's faces with more masculine traits.

For the ladies, these tendencies prompt finding a reproductive mate with high testosterone, classic inverted triangle form, of strong healthy stock. These tendencies also prompt finding a domestic partner for the other 26-27 infertile days with less testosterone, more caring & nurturing who would be easier to live with & a better father figure for children.

All these finding are broad generalizations... not all high testosterone males are uncaring, not all lesser testosterone males are better fathers, etc.

And before we start freaking about women catting about & getting knocked up by men other than their partners, the study documented only preference differences, not behavioral ones!

Good post, both in content and explanation of the significance of the bell curve (indirectly) and "averaging".

[=M=]

Oh yea...

Now THIS is what I'm TALKIN' BOUT when guys post in the womens side!!


Yes!!

Now THIS is one pretty man, folks.

[TurbulentFluid]

For instance your heterosexual verses homosexual statement implies that you think that if a male donns a dress that he must be homosexual, which couldn't be further from the truth.

I agree. Personally, I think ANYONE who wears a dress is a total impractical dork because I've never seen a more useless piece of clothing and I think world would be a better place if people went around thinking about more useful things than "ohmigod my new D&G will get stained!". But that's only my opinion.
As for my homophobia, it's limited to lesbians hitting on me which absolutely TERRIFIES me. If some guy's gay, I couldn't care less.
I also didn't want to insult you by saying you asked for approval, it's just that I don't understand your question. What I think about femininity in men or any other characteristic of any group of people who'll never enter my yard (providing this characteristic didn't limit anyone's freedom) is that I don't give a ****! Why should I? I mean, do you SERIOUSLY go around caring about traits like "lesbian in a man's body", "man caught in a woman's body", "a lemming's soul embodied in a pit bull" if they never met one (yet)...? I'd think people had more important things to worry about!

PS.
On a more helpful notice, I'd suggest you post this on some other forum, if you didn't already. Not necessarily on Good Christian Women or Neo-Hitlerjugend forum, but women in bb.com are in themselves unconventional (as they are bb-ers) and I don't think you'll get an idea about a general opinion (if there indeed exists such a thing, for a long time now it's been a holy grail of statistics).

[pgb2006]

Oh yea...

Now THIS is what I'm TALKIN' BOUT when guys post in the womens side!!


Yes!!

I wondered how this question would fly over in the mens section.

[worldofwiz]

Hey Sky I like going shopping with my female friends. I make them take me when they go shoe shopping. Granted I plan to start a shoe company in 2 years. It's a great way to meet girls. And you learn what and how to buy cool stuff for your girlfriend.

[LeilaM]

It doesn't make a difference to me as long as a person is confident with oneself. I don't buy into the "masculine/feminine" dictonomy anyway. I'm pretty "awkward" myself, or so people say

ditto here (big surprise, right Un? LOL).

Only thing that would be a definite turn off would be a lisp, rotten teeth, or dirty fingernails (hell YES to the manicure!), but that's not a feminine thing either.

But then again, what is femininity/masculinity really? Too much cross over to specify, and too culturally subjective. I do, however, dislike high levels of agression and competetiveness- that's reserved solely for ME!