Single, with cats... forever.

Motiv8You · 10-20-2006, 12:27 PM

Here's my dilemma. My rant. My beef for the day, if you will.

OK, people. I'm single. Divorced, 3 kids, decent looking (I actually look better body-wise now, than in the pics I have on my bodyspace which are from August) and I'm in good shape, judging by the training journals I post every day -- LOLOL.

However, I RARELY meet men. I intimidate men, apparently, because I am tall (5'9) -- and now I think it's getting worse because I can lift more than some guys... so during a discussion with 3 good/close GF's of mine, they gave some feedback from their POV. I am still trying to sort this out and decide: are they for real? Are they jealous? Is it true???

Their POV on not meeting many men is this:

'Men are intimidated by smart, funny, attractive women who have an athletic build (i.e. muscle definition) -- and until I tone it down / stop lifting as much as I do, I probably have little chance of meeting anyone of the opposite sex because of *their* confidence level.'

(Keep in mind here - I'm looking for a date. Have been divorced 6 years, have a career & my head on straight, and my kids have a dad - so I'm not out trying to find one for them! My personal life is somewhat removed from my family life.)

Now usually I take this kind of thing very lightly. But this time it made me think. I mean... guys will come up to me at bar/restaurants and comment on "the guns"... lolol.... ask if I want to arm wrestle... lol... and they do say I look great. Which is nice. But mostly I look greater than they do, and I'm sure this throws off the "universal man code" - which states 'Your woman shouldn't be able to kick your A**.' (A guy friend told me this one.)

So as I'm currently contemplating a bulk - or to continue cutting, I just have to ask everyone out there... What do you think?!?!? Will I be single, with cats forever? (OK - my daughter has a cat, I don't.)

Welcoming all thougts on the topic!
And have a great weekend, all

ltayllt · 10-20-2006, 12:33 PM

bulk or cut It's up to you-what ever makes you happy! Not all of us (men) have a fear of women who take care of themselves! Someones out there-maybe stop looking they'll find you!

Chi_town · 10-20-2006, 12:35 PM

Bulk or cut depends on your BF% IMO........along with your goals.

Forget about men who can't handle tall fit women.
There are ones out there who can.

pastorgbc · 10-20-2006, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

Here's my dilemma. My rant. My beef for the day, if you will.

OK, people. I'm single. Divorced, 3 kids, decent looking (I actually look better body-wise now, than in the pics I have on my bodyspace which are from August) and I'm in good shape, judging by the training journals I post every day -- LOLOL.

However, I RARELY meet men. I intimidate men, apparently, because I am tall (5'9) -- and now I think it's getting worse because I can lift more than some guys... so during a discussion with 3 good/close GF's of mine, they gave some feedback from their POV. I am still trying to sort this out and decide: are they for real? Are they jealous? Is it true???

Their POV on not meeting many men is this:

'Men are intimidated by smart, funny, attractive women who have an athletic build (i.e. muscle definition) -- and until I tone it down / stop lifting as much as I do, I probably have little chance of meeting anyone of the opposite sex because of *their* confidence level.'

(Keep in mind here - I'm looking for a date. Have been divorced 6 years, have a career & my head on straight, and my kids have a dad - so I'm not out trying to find one for them! My personal life is somewhat removed from my family life.)

Now usually I take this kind of thing very lightly. But this time it made me think. I mean... guys will come up to me at bar/restaurants and comment on "the guns"... lolol.... ask if I want to arm wrestle... lol... and they do say I look great. Which is nice. But mostly I look greater than they do, and I'm sure this throws off the "universal man code" - which states 'Your woman shouldn't be able to kick your A**.' (A guy friend told me this one.)

So as I'm currently contemplating a bulk - or to continue cutting, I just have to ask everyone out there... What do you think?!?!? Will I be single, with cats forever? (OK - my daughter has a cat, I don't.)

Welcoming all thougts on the topic!
And have a great weekend, all

Here's a man's POV (fwiw as we are the weaker sex)

1. Some men are intimidated by funny, intelligent, attractive women who can lift more than they can. Not all men. Forgive me for being blunt, but these are guys your are best without. Keep your standards high and you will not be disappointed.

2. Do what makes you happy. Do not change how you workout or exercise, dress, etc. because you want to please a guy. Speaking for myself, nothing is more attractive than an attractive, funny, intelligent, healthy, and happy lady. An emphasis on happy.

3. You are funny, attractive, intelligent, healthy, and confident. You might need to expand your horizons a little. Go to other places that meet your interests, join a professional organization, etc. Expecting to meet quality guys in bars and restaurants is tough. Unless things have changed drastically since I was single and cruising the bar scene, guys were looking primarily for one thing and the easy catch.

I would hang in there and keep your standards high. I think you are going to be okay.

Ray

ChocoChick · 10-20-2006, 12:52 PM

Quote:

'Men are intimidated by smart, funny, attractive women who have an athletic build (i.e. muscle definition) -- and until I tone it down / stop lifting as much as I do, I probably have little chance of meeting anyone of the opposite sex because of *their* confidence level.'

M - Were you getting lots of dates before you had biceps?

phikappa · 10-20-2006, 01:04 PM

After seeing your pics, you should be able to get most any guy you want.

My suggestion: Use a dating service. You'll be matched with people who have your interests and who are looking for someone like you (i.e. tall, fit, cat friendly

). With a service your odds should go from 1 in 1,000 of "randomly" finding a decent date, to 1 in 10. I wouldn't recommend the on-line thing, 'cuz most of those sites are free and free = plenty of weirdos.

BTW, there are plenty of men looking for women like you. Don't make assumptions based on their shyness. Good luck!

IronManXXX · 10-20-2006, 01:05 PM

I could write another reply like the other guys on here.

1. Keep your chin up.

2. OMG!!! You are so hotttt, can I go on a date with you?

3. Men are whimps they can't handle a woman like you.

Or I could tell you how you could start getting dates. Which would involve some constructive criticism. Which I am guess you don't want.

Reply to this post, if you want to make changes, or if you are just venting and not really conserned with your situation then just ignore it.

Mark1T · 10-20-2006, 01:10 PM

I agree with pastor that 'some' men are intimidated by strong women. I am not, because I date a few

We all appreciate that we not only have careers, but that we also take care of our bodies. If we take care of ourselves, we are more apt to take care of others.

Quite frankly, one of the most important things I look for in a woman is how fit she is. She does not have to be a maniac, but she has to be somewhat fit for me and my bod to be attracted. It also means that we immediately have something important in common and that if a relationship started, it would not be a negative factor in the future.

I am not saying that I am attracted to all fit women, as there are many other factors to consider. But, it's a good start.

FlyingV · 10-20-2006, 01:16 PM

My sense is it's not your height, it's not your buffness, it's not a stigma of soceity turning against the in-shape. And I haven't seen that men are intimidated per se by in-shape mature women, it's just that they'd just rather go after the low hanging fruit, the easier prospects that won't challenge them or demand an examination of their own health situation or life choices.

In practical terms, you must be very busy as a single mom of 3 who works out 5 nights a week. Possibly scale that back to every other day and create some space for something/someone else to happen. Create some space, create the intention and visualize what you want. Cultivate some new interests that will bring you into a new community of people. Seek out single Dads who can relate to your life situation. And remember that nothing changes.....if nothing changes.

stahlhart · 10-20-2006, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phikappa

I wouldn't recommend the on-line thing, 'cuz most of those sites are free and free = plenty of weirdos.

You can get introduced to some weirdos through the subscription services also.

/not that I'd have any firsthand experience with that
//looks around room, whistling
///what?!

BlondeAmazon · 10-20-2006, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

Here's my dilemma. My rant. My beef for the day, if you will.

OK, people. I'm single. Divorced, 3 kids, decent looking (I actually look better body-wise now, than in the pics I have on my bodyspace which are from August) and I'm in good shape, judging by the training journals I post every day -- LOLOL.

However, I RARELY meet men. I intimidate men, apparently, because I am tall (5'9) -- and now I think it's getting worse because I can lift more than some guys... so during a discussion with 3 good/close GF's of mine, they gave some feedback from their POV. I am still trying to sort this out and decide: are they for real? Are they jealous? Is it true???

Their POV on not meeting many men is this:

'Men are intimidated by smart, funny, attractive women who have an athletic build (i.e. muscle definition) -- and until I tone it down / stop lifting as much as I do, I probably have little chance of meeting anyone of the opposite sex because of *their* confidence level.'

(Keep in mind here - I'm looking for a date. Have been divorced 6 years, have a career & my head on straight, and my kids have a dad - so I'm not out trying to find one for them! My personal life is somewhat removed from my family life.)

Now usually I take this kind of thing very lightly. But this time it made me think. I mean... guys will come up to me at bar/restaurants and comment on "the guns"... lolol.... ask if I want to arm wrestle... lol... and they do say I look great. Which is nice. But mostly I look greater than they do, and I'm sure this throws off the "universal man code" - which states 'Your woman shouldn't be able to kick your A**.' (A guy friend told me this one.)

So as I'm currently contemplating a bulk - or to continue cutting, I just have to ask everyone out there... What do you think?!?!? Will I be single, with cats forever? (OK - my daughter has a cat, I don't.)

Welcoming all thougts on the topic!
And have a great weekend, all

Wow- this sounds exactly like me--- seriously- I am 6 feet tall and constantly struggle with trying to "fit in" with todays society as I gain muscle easily and had HELLA trouble finding dates who treated me as an equal and not some freak. Seriously- I had men ask me to pick them up and carry them- to dominate them- one guy wanted me to stomp his dick-- I kid you not-- UGHHHHHHHH!!!!! I finally gave up to what everyone else wanted me to do and did exactly what makes me happy. I pushed my strength up and my size- and hey- low and behold-- I met the perfect guy for me. Seems as soon as I stopped worrying about everyone else-- he just sorta stepped into my life- mind you I had to travel 3000 miles to be with him-- but hey- LOL! It got so bad for awhile my best friend and I joked for the last couple years about living on a scary hill- with scary cats- in a scary house. ive been single 16 years...

**StlBarbie** · 10-20-2006, 01:37 PM

HI!!!
First off ... I would do whatever YOU want with YOUR BODY!!!

Make yourself HAPPY first .... and then find someone who appreciates you for who you ARE!!!

You are a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!!

I can't say I am REALLY buff, but I am 5'9" and haven't found lifting heavy or my height to be a "man deterrant"!!

Just being a single parent who wos certainly limits your time available for meeting new people ... I have had several friends who have been VERY successful with online dating .. they actually married a few of the men. I do think getting out though is important whether it be thru the gym, church, adult team sports, or just out and about with friends .. it is difficult to meet new people at home!!

Hang in there .. it WILL get easier as the kiddos get older!!

jtroster · 10-20-2006, 01:39 PM

My sister-in-law (wife's sister) is divorced with two kids. She met her current boy friend on jdate.com (for Jewish singles). Both of them are very athletic and they enjoy lots of sports together.

justtryn · 10-20-2006, 01:44 PM

Bump to Ray's post. M - keep your standards high, but not unrealistic... in other words, not every guy out there is going to be 6'3", 250lbs, doctor, rich, etc. Not that you're necessarily looking for that, but several women I know who are in similar circumstances weed out 80% of the male population before even giving them a chance. - And again, I'm not saying that YOU are doing that. It's just something to keep in mind.

5'9" - that's not to tall at all. Where were you when I was single... oh yah, probably married!

resurrected · 10-20-2006, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

Here's my dilemma. My rant. My beef for the day, if you will.

OK, people. I'm single. Divorced, 3 kids, decent looking (I actually look better body-wise now, than in the pics I have on my bodyspace which are from August) and I'm in good shape, judging by the training journals I post every day -- LOLOL.

However, I RARELY meet men. I intimidate men, apparently, because I am tall (5'9) -- and now I think it's getting worse because I can lift more than some guys... so during a discussion with 3 good/close GF's of mine, they gave some feedback from their POV. I am still trying to sort this out and decide: are they for real? Are they jealous? Is it true???

Their POV on not meeting many men is this:

'Men are intimidated by smart, funny, attractive women who have an athletic build (i.e. muscle definition) -- and until I tone it down / stop lifting as much as I do, I probably have little chance of meeting anyone of the opposite sex because of *their* confidence level.'

(Keep in mind here - I'm looking for a date. Have been divorced 6 years, have a career & my head on straight, and my kids have a dad - so I'm not out trying to find one for them! My personal life is somewhat removed from my family life.)

Now usually I take this kind of thing very lightly. But this time it made me think. I mean... guys will come up to me at bar/restaurants and comment on "the guns"... lolol.... ask if I want to arm wrestle... lol... and they do say I look great. Which is nice. But mostly I look greater than they do, and I'm sure this throws off the "universal man code" - which states 'Your woman shouldn't be able to kick your A**.' (A guy friend told me this one.)

So as I'm currently contemplating a bulk - or to continue cutting, I just have to ask everyone out there... What do you think?!?!? Will I be single, with cats forever? (OK - my daughter has a cat, I don't.)

Welcoming all thougts on the topic!
And have a great weekend, all

I am not intimidated , I always wanted to g o to colorado....I love animals, ( of course perhaps due to the fact i am one myself).

bamatank · 10-20-2006, 02:02 PM

I'm sure that the guys that you are meeting are intimidated by a strong, athletic, smart, beautiful woman. However, you are looking in the wrong places. If you go to a bar you will find fat, out of shape, weak men. On place you may find better luck is if you join a road running club, or a canoeing club, or a mountain biking club. Any club that involves a high level of activity you will be more liekly to find a man that is not intimidated by you, is in good shape, and enjoys being active.

Also, look at all the guys in this forum that are drooling over TITANIA, BlondeAmazon, and you. That's evidence that there are a lot of men that are attracted to strong, funny, smart and beautiful women.

Motiv8You · 10-20-2006, 02:03 PM

Thanks all - I appreciate your support here and from the PM's I've received --very much!

Clarification:
None of my GF's are like BB's or even cardio queens. They do the bare mminimum and think I'm insane to do what I do. So that should be taken into consideration too.

AND Yikes!!! I shoulda clarified - Men "MY AGE" don't speak to me. I'm not closed-minded, and I never say "never" - but after going through a few years of only dating men 10 yrs. younger (well, if Demi Moore can do it... LOL) I pretty much try to stay in the 30's and up range. 20-something men aren't as shy about approaching ... that's a whole other conversation though.

DB -- Yes, I would say I had more dates before I had biceps. Although divorced for 6 years, I have been more or less single (dating on occasion but not in a serious relationship) for the past 2 years.

I have tried online dating, got tired of it because the men I met weren't who they described themselves to be. (They say "love to hike and am 6'3... they love to WATCH hiking on tv and are maybe not as tall. I'm ok with men my height, as long as they are.) Met a couple of men this way who are actually good friends of mine - but no love connection. Although, my ex-husb. just got remarried in July -- he met his new wife online, and she's awesome.
I go to church and am involved with community volunteer work - I actually meet less men at church than outside church.

And as I've said before on another thread... I find it hard to believe that I would find myself attracted to/involved with a man who isn't inclined toward fitness in one way or another. Does he have to be Arnold (or Gunter - WOO!)... of course not!!! He could be a penniless woodcutter with several motherless kids for all I care -- who gets his cardio in chopping wood all day -that's fine by me. (No offense to woodcutters, I'm referencing Hansel & Gretel here!) But he has to be active on some level... or eventually he will come to resent my time in the gym.

BlondeAmazon's comment is TRUE. I muscle easy, and MAYBE I'm just in that place where I've built definition but I don't so much notice it... and others do - because people (men) will LOOK all day long, but seem to have invisible duct tape over their mouths.

I smile at everyone I meet. These days, not many people are as friendly, I think.

What's funny is that I HAVEN'T been worrying about it big-time, until now... when my GF's made the statements about being bulky/defined. I'm happy with my life - I have a life and enjoy it to the max.

IronmanXXX - If you have constructive criticism, I'm not afraid of that... you can PM me.

Stahlhart - LOL about meeting weirdos on subscription services. "Stalkers need not apply" - LOL.

hapkido · 10-20-2006, 02:16 PM

Where were you when I was single?
I'm speechless

Defiant1 · 10-20-2006, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlondeAmazon

- one guy wanted me to stomp his dick-- I kid you not-- UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That's not true!

I said lightly trample!

QUALITYGUY1 · 10-20-2006, 02:32 PM

I definitely concur with Ray's post. No need to reiterate. Don't get discouraged nor dissuaded by what others feel is right for you, only you know what's in your heart. And BTW, there could be a bit of jealousy in what is being said. Go after the physique you want and maintain your focus on your career and a healthy social life as well. After being single for seven years, I can relate to some of what you a feeling from a man's POV.
And from my experience, things usually happen when you are not even expecting it...and it's worth the wait.

RedIron392 · 10-20-2006, 02:36 PM

I'm a single man with a cat and the reason I avoid women like you is becouse I'm a sucker for women like you. My cat and I like things the way they are.

Later

Defiant1 · 10-20-2006, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

Here's my dilemma. My rant. My beef for the day, if you will.

OK, people. I'm single. Divorced, 3 kids, decent looking (I actually look better body-wise now, than in the pics I have on my bodyspace which are from August) and I'm in good shape, judging by the training journals I post every day -- LOLOL.

However, I RARELY meet men. I intimidate men, apparently, because I am tall (5'9) -- and now I think it's getting worse because I can lift more than some guys... so during a discussion with 3 good/close GF's of mine, they gave some feedback from their POV. I am still trying to sort this out and decide: are they for real? Are they jealous? Is it true???

Their POV on not meeting many men is this:

'Men are intimidated by smart, funny, attractive women who have an athletic build (i.e. muscle definition) -- and until I tone it down / stop lifting as much as I do, I probably have little chance of meeting anyone of the opposite sex because of *their* confidence level.'

(Keep in mind here - I'm looking for a date. Have been divorced 6 years, have a career & my head on straight, and my kids have a dad - so I'm not out trying to find one for them! My personal life is somewhat removed from my family life.)

Now usually I take this kind of thing very lightly. But this time it made me think. I mean... guys will come up to me at bar/restaurants and comment on "the guns"... lolol.... ask if I want to arm wrestle... lol... and they do say I look great. Which is nice. But mostly I look greater than they do, and I'm sure this throws off the "universal man code" - which states 'Your woman shouldn't be able to kick your A**.' (A guy friend told me this one.)

So as I'm currently contemplating a bulk - or to continue cutting, I just have to ask everyone out there... What do you think?!?!? Will I be single, with cats forever? (OK - my daughter has a cat, I don't.)

Welcoming all thougts on the topic!
And have a great weekend, all

It's probably the cats scaring men away. Get dogs.

Just kidding cats are nice.

Serious question: Do you LOOK approachable? Like, smiling, friendly?

When I used to go to clubs and such, I was lamenting about the same thing you are, and a girl-friend told me in honesty that I didn't look approachable. Not "so awesome" but "not friendly". Not unfriendly, but just, not friendly. Didn't smile. I realized I had this look like I was between sets of bent-rows stalking the bar.

One thing about being bigger or taller than average is that any kind of non-verbal unfriendliness is sort of amplified. It's just the way it is. A small salesperson can easily approach someone. A larger one has to be more cautious. "Implied threat" is higher.

Just a thought from a person who was "out there" for a long time.

Motiv8You · 10-20-2006, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedIron392

I'm a single man with a cat and the reason I avoid women like you is becouse I'm a sucker for women like you. My cat and I like things the way they are.

Later

LOL, RedIron... very nice!!!

GREENFEATHER · 10-20-2006, 04:45 PM

Well, if I wasn't married, I'd be stalking you, lol! You're quite attractive, fit and you don't seem to have any skeletons lurking about. I will tell you that a lot of men are wierded out by the kids thing though, but true love conquers all. Ray, as soon as I recharge you've got reps coming your way.

I never did date the "average" girls. I dated a few punk chicks, much to the chagrin of the rents and a female bodybuilder Yea, I like 'em off the wall. I don't get guys, I really don't get them, maybe I'm the wierd one? Maybe it was because I was bounced from home to home as a child that I watched over the outcasts?

SR800 · 10-20-2006, 04:56 PM

You friends are ignorant, and yes probably jealous, if anything the 3 kids probably scares more men away, i have to be honest, i tell all of my single friends to not even consider dating a woman with children still at home because the chances of it working and not having significant issues with regard to parenting etc are pratically nill. I have been there and done that and made it through but it was a battle and at times can continue to be a significant challenge. The effort to make a mixed family work is considerable. We were truely the exception and not the rule. I have seen many mixed families fail and the ones who are hurt the most are the children. When the children are gone then you will have a much easier time. Just a reality check.

willbird · 10-20-2006, 05:23 PM

I can only speak for myself, but I have never ruled tall women out, for me anyway I just meet a person and they just interest me, weird feeling in my stomach and all of that, it sure doesnt discriminate for height or how much she can benchpress hehe.

Just keep on keeping on, it will hit you when you least expect it probably :-)

Bill

bluescorpion · 10-20-2006, 06:48 PM

I am relatively tall and have always thought of it as an advantage in the mating game. As for intimidating men... anyone who would not like the fact that I am athletic is someone I wouldn't want to be with! I'd truly rather be single than give in to others' bizarre expectations. Maybe spend more time thinking about where to meet quality single men in your area?

Mark1T · 10-20-2006, 06:58 PM

I have never judged a woman on how many kids she has or whether or not she has any. It is amazing how the inhibitions go out the window when trust and friendship is established. Usually with me, it just takes a bottle of wine (or 2), some Lionel Richie in the background, dark chocolate within reach and a couple of pillows. But, then again, I'm easy

**Forge3** · 10-20-2006, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

Here's my dilemma. My rant. My beef for the day, if you will.

OK, people. I'm single. Divorced, 3 kids, decent looking (I actually look better body-wise now, than in the pics I have on my bodyspace which are from August) and I'm in good shape, judging by the training journals I post every day -- LOLOL.

However, I RARELY meet men. I intimidate men, apparently, because I am tall (5'9) -- and now I think it's getting worse because I can lift more than some guys... so during a discussion with 3 good/close GF's of mine, they gave some feedback from their POV. I am still trying to sort this out and decide: are they for real? Are they jealous? Is it true???

Their POV on not meeting many men is this:

'Men are intimidated by smart, funny, attractive women who have an athletic build (i.e. muscle definition) -- and until I tone it down / stop lifting as much as I do, I probably have little chance of meeting anyone of the opposite sex because of *their* confidence level.'

(Keep in mind here - I'm looking for a date. Have been divorced 6 years, have a career & my head on straight, and my kids have a dad - so I'm not out trying to find one for them! My personal life is somewhat removed from my family life.)

Now usually I take this kind of thing very lightly. But this time it made me think. I mean... guys will come up to me at bar/restaurants and comment on "the guns"... lolol.... ask if I want to arm wrestle... lol... and they do say I look great. Which is nice. But mostly I look greater than they do, and I'm sure this throws off the "universal man code" - which states 'Your woman shouldn't be able to kick your A**.' (A guy friend told me this one.)

So as I'm currently contemplating a bulk - or to continue cutting, I just have to ask everyone out there... What do you think?!?!? Will I be single, with cats forever? (OK - my daughter has a cat, I don't.)

Welcoming all thougts on the topic!
And have a great weekend, all

You just need to meet a tiger instead of pussycats, and then you'll have the best of both worlds.

BlondeAmazon · 10-20-2006, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

AND Yikes!!! I shoulda clarified - Men "MY AGE" don't speak to me. I'm not closed-minded, and I never say "never" - but after going through a few years of only dating men 10 yrs. younger (well, if Demi Moore can do it... LOL) I pretty much try to stay in the 30's and up range. 20-something men aren't as shy about approaching ... that's a whole other conversation though.

.

LOL- I even broke out of my box and dated the younger guys who were allways asking me out- Actually had a great time with a few of them but in the end the age thing-- well our goals were different is all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

I have tried online dating, got tired of it because the men I met weren't who they described themselves to be. (They say "love to hike and am 6'3... they love to WATCH hiking on tv and are maybe not as tall. I'm ok with men my height, as long as they are.) Met a couple of men this way who are actually good friends of mine -

I did this for a LONGGGGGGGG time- as it gave me the option of people getting to know me a bit and not wiggin out over my muscles-- I actually met my soon to be husband online at www.fitnesssingles.com-- But I would give up often as I also came across so many people who choose not to be honest.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

And as I've said before on another thread... I find it hard to believe that I would find myself attracted to/involved with a man who isn't inclined toward fitness in one way or another. Does he have to be Arnold (or Gunter - WOO!)... of course not!!! He could be a penniless woodcutter with several motherless kids for all I care -- who gets his cardio in chopping wood all day -that's fine by me. (No offense to woodcutters, I'm referencing Hansel & Gretel here!) But he has to be active on some level... or eventually he will come to resent my time in the gym.

I dont understand what is wrong with this- We are attracted to what we are attracted to. If we are into health and fitness it just seems condusive to be with someone ALSO into health and fitness. Why is this BAD???? I dont need an Arnold or Ronnie either- but a fit healthy non smoking guy?? What is wrong with expecting that?? AND THEY DO resent your time in the gym-- the attention you spend on your meals- and the lifestyle difference-- been there- done that- no thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motiv8You

BlondeAmazon's comment is TRUE. I muscle easy, and MAYBE I'm just in that place where I've built definition but I don't so much notice it... and others do - because people (men) will LOOK all day long, but seem to have invisible duct tape over their mouths.

I smile at everyone I meet. These days, not many people are as friendly, I think.

Funny- I view myself as a nice friendly person who is super easy to approach and talk to. But your right- we dont see ourselves as odd or strange or off the norm... Apparently others view us that way and it is tough to break that barrier down- People who I have become good friends with over time tell me I scared the hell outta them before they knew me--makes me laugh..

Anyway girl!! DO not lower your standards. you DESERVE to be happy with a partner who is equal and understanding of your chosen lifestyle. I know its possible- cause it happened for me