"Nows the time when you need to stick your hands down your pants and push up, if it goes in, it means your a b*tch, if you feel something, it means got balls, so use them!"
"There three things that can f*ck up your life...Alchohal, Drugs...and pussy"
"God Damn it Rudy! My grandma can hit the holes harder than you and she is in a wheel chair!"
"I feel good about this upcoming game gentlemen! Woo! Mama better watch out tonight!"
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Results 1 to 30 of 33
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09-11-2006, 06:29 PM #1Banned
- Join Date: Apr 2005
- Location: Beloit, WI
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Funny, Motivational Quotes by your Coach
Last edited by HeroOfTheDay384; 09-11-2006 at 07:13 PM.
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09-11-2006, 06:33 PM #2TENNIS SPARTAN-FREE XIL3
- Join Date: Sep 2006
- Age: 31
- Posts: 4,460
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wow, that would feel awkward, especially the first and second ones, if he gave you that motivational spank right before you got back to the game. (especially if it was wrestling or something with tights) owww, my eyes, that picture hurts.
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09-11-2006, 06:44 PM #3Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2006
- Posts: 797
- Rep Power: 715
"When in doubt, beat ass."
"Get out there and fight you little bastard."
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09-11-2006, 06:47 PM #4Banned
- Join Date: Jul 2006
- Location: Texas, United States
- Age: 34
- Posts: 15,288
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"**** son! run the ball"
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09-12-2006, 01:04 PM #5Registered User
- Join Date: Sep 2006
- Posts: 6,228
- Rep Power: 9899
our first jv game last year when i was a sophomore
"Look guys, this is our opening game. Look at how many people came to watch you"
we look into the stands and theres a few people scattered around
"ok bad example"
every1 starts laughing
another game later in the season, halftime
"ok you guys played a pretty solid half but i think we need to step it up. were giving up to many.... WOW look at the size of that damn dog!" points to stands where this massive dog is sitting. thats all we talked about for the rest of halftime, and we still came out and kicked ass in the second half
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09-12-2006, 01:53 PM #6
"You know what you gotta do"
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09-12-2006, 01:57 PM #7Registered User
- Join Date: Sep 2006
- Posts: 6,228
- Rep Power: 9899
o-line coach
"yeah boys! thats the way to block! do you see this (points to chest)? my nipples are getting hard! that means im excited. good job"
conditioning coach
"oh these rivalry games make my ass water"
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09-12-2006, 03:57 PM #8***Trance4Life Crew***
- Join Date: Jan 2006
- Location: Jersey
- Posts: 3,394
- Rep Power: 389
"a receiver that can't catch is about as useful as tits on a ball"
"you should be up here paying attention, matter of fact you should be up here sniffin my ass during the plays"
not motivational, just some funny things i heard coach yellin at people during the pre-practice sleepaway camp.*New Jersey Crew (973 and 201)* ... you jus mad cuz im stylin' on ya??
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09-12-2006, 07:26 PM #9Banned
- Join Date: Apr 2005
- Location: Southern California
- Posts: 1,539
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(I have a hernia) "How's your balls feeling?" then walks away, comes back a couple minutes later, pull up his shirt and says "see the bulge?" and then walks away. That was bizzare
"If I wanted to hear from an *******, I would of farted"
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09-13-2006, 09:29 AM #10Banned
- Join Date: Apr 2005
- Location: Beloit, WI
- Age: 36
- Posts: 1,703
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"You guys should not be getting on each other back! Back in college, I roomed with a defensive lineman and a punter. The D-Line man and I decided to play a prank on the punter, while her was sleeping, we pretended we were gonna f*ck him up the ass. He freaked out and jumped out the window. He never showed up to practice again. True story"
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09-13-2006, 10:11 AM #11..................
- Join Date: Apr 2006
- Location: Tahiti
- Age: 37
- Posts: 192
- Rep Power: 221
This is from our strength coach....f'n hilarious guy....
so we're waiting to go lift outside on a 95 degree humid ass day, here's the conversation...
player-"damn, every day when we go run it never fails, its always hot and humid as hell. on a perfect day, it would be cloudy and 75 or somethin."
coach-"yeah, well in a perfect world, I'd be balls deep in jenna jameson with a beer in one hand and my remote in the other, but its not a ****in perfect world now is it?"
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09-13-2006, 04:40 PM #12Stay low and keep driving
- Join Date: Sep 2006
- Location: St. Louis, MO
- Age: 34
- Posts: 8
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O-Line coach during punching drills...
"Explode, that sounded like a mouse pi$$ing on cotton".6'4
274 lbs.
OG/DT
Junior in High School.
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09-14-2006, 12:08 PM #13
"Just remember to be F.A.Gs out there boys..fairways and greens."
-HS golf coachLast edited by Ashaman; 09-14-2006 at 12:12 PM.
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09-14-2006, 05:30 PM #14Registered User
- Join Date: Mar 2006
- Age: 33
- Posts: 48
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during our stretching our o-line coach say " This is what I told Jack's mom last nite, Spread those legs."
same coach during scout offense " God damit Bobby if u dont get Phil the ball on the snaps Im gunna have him shove his finger up your ass and see if you get it to him then."
same coach again " What the hell are u doin logan if you dont get these plays down im gunna take my leg off (he has a fake leg) and beat you with it.
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09-15-2006, 03:33 PM #15Banned
- Join Date: Jul 2006
- Location: Texas, United States
- Age: 34
- Posts: 15,288
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haha, sounds like our old strength coach.Originally Posted by jboddy34
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09-16-2006, 03:09 PM #16Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2006
- Age: 38
- Posts: 1,002
- Rep Power: 663
I think you meant tits on a bull.Originally Posted by steve39█♣█ █♣█ █♣█ █♣█ █♣█
"The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool." -Unknown
Reps owed to:
TheManofSteel
LVI
Jyeatbvg
Harrisjl
DRob69
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09-16-2006, 03:32 PM #17Banned
- Join Date: Oct 2005
- Location: Charlotte, NC
- Age: 39
- Posts: 542
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the only phrase i remember all the time is from a rec league coach i had 5 or 6 years ago
I was the power hitter of the team and the coach would always say "hit it to the moon"....he was one of my favorite guys to play for
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09-16-2006, 04:22 PM #18Banned
- Join Date: Jun 2006
- Location: Midwest
- Posts: 1,177
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Heres my key
FBC:Head football coach 44 years old
CJ: Coach jared O linemen/ D-linemen/Punter/ Assist Offencive cordinator 30s
CB: Coach Bennet: DE/ assist defencive cordinator 20s
Musha: Musha(Its some tilte that our coach made up) 20s RB coach
CK: Coach k(Name is some very hard name) 60s Defencive cordinator
CD: coach daniels: 40s Offencive cordinator
CS: Coach S(Once again a real weird hard name) Dlinemen 30s
CH: Coach holts Defencive cordinator(The two work togther so closely that there pretty much share the title) 30s
************************************************** ********
CJ: I want every swinging dick on that ball.
CD(Hes a hardcore christan That never yells and is always nice) We've had people Get sick (anger builds) we've had people get hurt(angerbuilds) we've had dumb mistakes(anger is bioling) Lets get it together(Calms down all the way) Lord jesus give me mercy.(Had to be there it was funny)
FBC: Come on baby LIFT THE WEIGHTS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFT THEM LIFTHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FBC: Mike your going to follow the tackles ass now you see Joes ass. Thats a big ass A very sexy bigass. Follow it.
(Next play) FBC: Next play Liger 5 spread direct option. You see Eddies ass.
Thats a smaller as but still a Big ass You grab it, the ass, you ride it for 3 yards And then you pitch the ball If need be if its open Leave his ass for another........ Ass.
FBC: What will you do to win this game.... I'd sell my 120,000 dollar car To my mother in law who I hate just to beat this team and gain some momentum! What would you Do!!!
FBC: Dante I'll tell you what thats your 4th Tackle tonight right.
Me: Right
FBC: If you make 2 more I'll give you my doughters number.
Me: OKay!!!!
(After winning and me getting 4 more tackles and making a safety tackle)
ME:Coach rember your promise!
FBC: What promise?
Me; Your duaghters number.
Fbc: I'll yell you what if you Take us to state and we beat Mullen And hoover and Oak christan and other top teams in the nation I'll give you her number.
ME: We dont face mullen or hoover..... Or oak christan.
Fbc: Have a nice day kid.
FBC: Listen I'm married to this Game I'm married to this team and I'm married to this Each and every single one of you. Now you might not cook for me you might not clean For me. You might not Deny me sex every single time I want it but when you want it I 'm tired and not in the mood..... But you guys are LIKE sons to me.
CH: You just said your married to them Matthew.
FBC:...... Shut up.
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09-16-2006, 07:59 PM #19Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2006
- Age: 38
- Posts: 1,002
- Rep Power: 663
I was just heading out earlier so I couldn't finish my post but here it is...
At soccer practice we were practicing corner kicks. As I am on defense my job is to head the ball out. As luck would have it the sun was just setting and it was directly behind the corner of the field and I can't look at bright lights very well without having my eyes tear up. So I keep pulling away from taking any headers and then my coach says to me infront of the team:
Coach: "Canuckle you chicken ****. You piece of f*cking chicken ****. Head the ball".
Me: ....ok
Next corner it of course comes in my direction. I try to head the ball and of course can't see it and get it straight in my face..... f'ing coach with his motivational speech.█♣█ █♣█ █♣█ █♣█ █♣█
"The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool." -Unknown
Reps owed to:
TheManofSteel
LVI
Jyeatbvg
Harrisjl
DRob69
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06-11-2009, 07:24 PM #20Registered User
- Join Date: Jul 2008
- Location: Laredo, Texas, United States
- Age: 32
- Posts: 97
- Rep Power: 211
man everything my ex coach use to say was stupid lol
he tried to be serious but it never worked lmao▪██──────██▪ = :)
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06-11-2009, 07:40 PM #21Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2008
- Age: 34
- Posts: 59
- Rep Power: 192
high school
my highschool coach
we were getting ready to lift and he was like
" Well if you gotta pee or crap do it now because when were in there you better not have to go and if you do well you might as well just **** your pants.
another funny one we were pushing the sled and this kid stopped and tied it well our coach was like
you stupid a-hole wait and then he continued out coach grabbed his shoe and threw it and was like there you dumb-a
not really a quote just funny seeing a coach throw a kids shoes.
and then i threw up one day pushing the sled the coach was like damn nate thats gross.......chew your food better NOW PUSH
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06-12-2009, 01:21 AM #22Mr. Spider
- Join Date: May 2009
- Location: Mount Gambier, Sourth Australia, Australia
- Age: 31
- Posts: 438
- Rep Power: 215
"A fast game is a quick game" - Cricket Coach
WTF is that supposed to mean?
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06-12-2009, 04:34 AM #23Registered User
- Join Date: Nov 2007
- Age: 29
- Posts: 1,700
- Rep Power: 382
He said this yesterday,
"If I were a bad coach I'd have you all run laps all day with a log on your back. Then when you started to throwup I'd call you pussies."
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06-12-2009, 04:48 AM #24Banned
- Join Date: Feb 2007
- Location: United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 184
- Rep Power: 0
asst coach:
"knock their fkin dicks in the dirt"
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06-12-2009, 06:43 AM #25Registered User
- Join Date: Jun 2008
- Age: 30
- Posts: 1,018
- Rep Power: 1878
"beat the **** outta them!"
"stop titty-blocking!"
"God bless america! Even my grandma could've made that tackle! and shes dead!"
my football coachRed Sox-Pats-Bruins-Celtics
Long Arms Crew
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06-12-2009, 07:18 AM #26Working To Fat Jacked
- Join Date: Jul 2008
- Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Age: 34
- Posts: 17,129
- Rep Power: 52413
"don't think you'll only hurt yourself"
"I know your thinking cause you just f*cked up"
"Did you eat retard sandwhiches today? Cause I have no idea what your doing"
"I'm going to get you into shap. BTW round is not a shape"
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06-12-2009, 07:37 AM #27Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2009
- Posts: 881
- Rep Power: 0
"you better hit the hole harder or that other team is gonna tap dance on your face"
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06-12-2009, 08:42 AM #28Registered User
- Join Date: Jun 2008
- Age: 31
- Posts: 202
- Rep Power: 207
Coach stands up to give pre-game speach
"lets kick the s*** out of these guys"
he sits down and we go out onto the field
we win the game 53-14stats as of now:
bench-225
power clean-245
deadlift-400
squat-315
40yd dash-4.7-NEW!!!
Philipians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
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06-12-2009, 08:58 AM #29VOTE FOR PRADO
- Join Date: Jun 2009
- Location: Springfield, Missouri, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 841
- Rep Power: 386
"if you guys dont start sticking your blocks i am gonna kick this f***ing tv till it breaks then throw it at your sorry a$$es."
after practice washin the mats "hey remember the wetter the better"
me "coach i think that applies to multiple aspects of life"
and the worst was after the first round of playoffs after a 10-0 season and lossing
"no dont f***ing take a knee, you all stand here and watch them celebrate on your field walking away with your season"
and the three greatest life lessons i ever got from a coach
1. be on time
2. be where your supposed to be
3. be doing what your supposed to be doing
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06-12-2009, 09:17 AM #30Rugger w/ a throwing prob
- Join Date: Dec 2008
- Location: United States
- Age: 41
- Posts: 1,777
- Rep Power: 234
"well that looked like s***"
"everyone and their damn retarded step brother is hitting PRs. If that doesnt light a fire under your ass I dunno what its gonna take"
"distance without drugs"
"well theres another meet record broken with the aid of pharmaceuticals"
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