abusive gf or am I overreacting and I made the mistake here?

[misterMaster]

So recently me and my girlfriend of 2,5 years (we had a break of 5 months inbetween but we're back together for 10 months right now) have been going to a lot of fights about some rather important but also about minor things....

she accused me of looking at other women eventhough I am not

but the major issue is not that it is that she cant handle if I do not do the things she wants me to do which causes her to be very angry (insulting etc)


for example she doesnt like the fact that I go to the gym after uni 'cause she says that takes time in that we could see eachother away...so after numerous discussions and fights I suggested that we would type out a "weekplan" so it is clear when I go to the gym and when I come over to hers, when we spend time etc. So this last week I had holidays from uni but during these holidays I had to do an extremely important paper for uni so basically I was pretty til friday (deadline for that paper)
Anyways according to our agreement I go to the gym on tuesday, thursday, friday and sunday. But hence the deadline on friday I was not able to go workout because I had to finish up my paper. So after handing in my paper friday night I went over to hers and spent the night with her. Next morning around 11ish I tell her that I could go to the gym right now because I missed out yesterday. She got pissed and said that this is my own fault and that she is not gonna put up with that. I said hey cmon its not that big of a deal maybe 60 to 90 min that we would not be able to be together and that I really like going to the gym etc.
She refuses to talk to me. At that point I got tired of that childish behavior so I packed my bag and left her place to go to the gym. While I close the door she pulls it back open and approaches me and starts to hit me. I dont do anything but turn around and walk down the stairs, she continues hitting and pulling me while she screams: you will stay here fkn ***hole. while shes pulling my shirt I turn around and grab her hands so that she can no longer hit me and tell her: you cant be serious (honestly I never expected her to freak out like that). She then stops hitting me and we argue for some minutes but finally I leave her place and head to the gym.

Later I went back to hers (maybe thinking in my head that this just cant be true and hoping for the best...naive I know)She apologized but that was it. We spent the rest of the day on a trip that I had planned for a long time and didnt want to cancel so we couldnt talk about stuff that just happened.

Wtf happened? how am I supposed to react now? For me the hitting part was really a dealbreaker and since then its not been the same for me however she acts as if nothing ever happened...
I still have feelings for her but I sure as hell wont accept this kind of treatment

WTF brahs was it my mistake cause I wanted to go the gym on a day where it was not scheduled?


cliffs: pls just read cliffs can not fully tell the story...

thx

[Ayobbgrill]

So recently me and my girlfriend of 2,5 years (we had a break of 5 months inbetween but we're back together for 10 months right now) have been going to a lot of fights about some rather important but also about minor things....

she accused me of looking at other women eventhough I am not

but the major issue is not that it is that she cant handle if I do not do the things she wants me to do which causes her to be very angry (insulting etc)


for example she doesnt like the fact that I go to the gym after uni 'cause she says that takes time in that we could see eachother away...so after numerous discussions and fights I suggested that we would type out a "weekplan" so it is clear when I go to the gym and when I come over to hers, when we spend time etc. So this last week I had holidays from uni but during these holidays I had to do an extremely important paper for uni so basically I was pretty til friday (deadline for that paper)
Anyways according to our agreement I go to the gym on tuesday, thursday, friday and sunday. But hence the deadline on friday I was not able to go workout because I had to finish up my paper. So after handing in my paper friday night I went over to hers and spent the night with her. Next morning around 11ish I tell her that I could go to the gym right now because I missed out yesterday. She got pissed and said that this is my own fault and that she is not gonna put up with that. I said hey cmon its not that big of a deal maybe 60 to 90 min that we would not be able to be together and that I really like going to the gym etc.
She refuses to talk to me. At that point I got tired of that childish behavior so I packed my bag and left her place to go to the gym. While I close the door she pulls it back open and approaches me and starts to hit me. I dont do anything but turn around and walk down the stairs, she continues hitting and pulling me while she screams: you will stay here fkn ***hole. while shes pulling my shirt I turn around and grab her hands so that she can no longer hit me and tell her: you cant be serious (honestly I never expected her to freak out like that). She then stops hitting me and we argue for some minutes but finally I leave her place and head to the gym.

Later I went back to hers (maybe thinking in my head that this just cant be true and hoping for the best...naive I know)She apologized but that was it. We spent the rest of the day on a trip that I had planned for a long time and didnt want to cancel so we couldnt talk about stuff that just happened.

Wtf happened? how am I supposed to react now? For me the hitting part was really a dealbreaker and since then its not been the same for me however she acts as if nothing ever happened...
I still have feelings for her but I sure as hell wont accept this kind of treatment

WTF brahs was it my mistake cause I wanted to go the gym on a day where it was not scheduled?


cliffs: pls just read cliffs can not fully tell the story...

thx

Been there done that

Best advice: abort immediatly

[MikeTheBiceps]

Just leave bro. It's only going to get worse.

[angelaXOchavez]

W.T.F what kind of girl hits her boyfriend!? Just because she is probably isn't as strong as you & can't probably do no real damage, that is so disrespectful! I was in a relationship for 7 years and caught the guy cheating and the worse I did was slam the door so hard it broke. But I would never physically hit my boyfriend. & she has you on a schedule so tight you can't even have 60 minutes to do something you love. Word of advice, a healthy relaxationship requires some alone time no matter how much you love each other, it's not a bad thing. In fact, it's the opposite & will probably make you both miss each other. From what i read you should definitely run for the hills before she turns full psycho on you!!!

[misterMaster]

W.T.F what kind of girl hits her boyfriend!? Just because she is probably isn't as strong as you & can't probably do no real damage, that is so disrespectful! I was in a relationship for 7 years and caught the guy cheating and the worse I did was slam the door so hard it broke. But I would never physically hit my boyfriend. & she has you on a schedule so tight you can't even have 60 minutes to do something you love. Word of advice, a healthy relaxationship requires some alone time no matter how much you love each other, it's not a bad thing. In fact, it's the opposite & will probably make you both miss each other. From what i read you should definitely run for the hills before she turns full psycho on you!!!

well I wasn't quite clear it isnt really a schedule its just an agreement where I said that saturday is a day for us...

Anyways when I left yesterday she suddenly started crying and when I asked whats wrong she asked me why I havent tried to have sex with her that day. Told her I was tired...then on my way home I texted her that it was because she had hit me...she replied that she cant talk about that rght now 'cause she had to figure out whether she could live with me not trying to have sex with her...

[viet16]

sounds exactly crazy like a gf of my bro, im curious as to how you could stay 2 years in relationship with a mentally unstable person (and even came back after a long time not seeing each other)

[TsiFitness]

What is more important to you OP?
Your health and fitness or abusive girlfriend?
Based on past history and how you worded the OP i'd leave.

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Run OP ...run for the hills.

[5inchNoGirth]

Bro RUN

She is a psycho. You shouldnt have to give up your hobby for her, and she seems extremely immature and selfish. All she cares about is herself and you'd be doing yourself a huge favor by getting out ASAP

[misterMaster]

I know that ths is probably the right thing to do eventhough I love her...

[LeoJed]

Her: I dont like you going to the gym it takes time away that we can spend together

You: I'm going to the gym seeya.





Did that help at all??

If not then please don't involve others in your drama.

[AwFukHi]

She would likely call the police if you ever hit her, but she thinks nothing is wrong by her hitting you. Fuuuuuk that.

Don't let your emotions blind you.

[L_Coops]

She's mentally unstable.

As for your question OP, the only mistake you made is staying with her this long (srs).

[vordulmega]

Been there done that

Best advice: abort immediatly

Same here and agreed. No matter what you think or think you feel, ABORT.

I put up with exactly the same chit for 6 years and it was the biggest mistake ever. I would've been lucky if I even got to make an "agreement" (which sounds fukked up in the first place) to get some gym time.

Unstable women are not worth wasting your life and time on.

[MrBungle11]

Op, the longer you stay in this toxic relationship the deeper you're going to get and you'll never get out. Like already mentioned, run...run as fast as you can. Get out while you can.

[vordulmega]

WTF brahs was it my mistake cause I wanted to go the gym on a day where it was not scheduled?

I'll just add, this is what my ex did as well--they brainwash you into thinking everything is your fault and that their behaviour is normal, and you just get deeper and deeper into it. I was lucky enough to snap out of it after becoming depressed and having been beaten down daily and realise it is NOT normal. I'm now happier than ever and am armed by experience such that I'll never put up with bullchit like what you are going through even for a second, ever again.

[kjoel007]

So recently me and my girlfriend of 2,5 years (we had a break of 5 months inbetween but we're back together for 10 months right now) have been going to a lot of fights about some rather important but also about minor things....

she accused me of looking at other women eventhough I am not

but the major issue is not that it is that she cant handle if I do not do the things she wants me to do which causes her to be very angry (insulting etc)


for example she doesnt like the fact that I go to the gym after uni 'cause she says that takes time in that we could see eachother away...so after numerous discussions and fights I suggested that we would type out a "weekplan" so it is clear when I go to the gym and when I come over to hers, when we spend time etc. So this last week I had holidays from uni but during these holidays I had to do an extremely important paper for uni so basically I was pretty til friday (deadline for that paper)
Anyways according to our agreement I go to the gym on tuesday, thursday, friday and sunday. But hence the deadline on friday I was not able to go workout because I had to finish up my paper. So after handing in my paper friday night I went over to hers and spent the night with her. Next morning around 11ish I tell her that I could go to the gym right now because I missed out yesterday. She got pissed and said that this is my own fault and that she is not gonna put up with that. I said hey cmon its not that big of a deal maybe 60 to 90 min that we would not be able to be together and that I really like going to the gym etc.
She refuses to talk to me. At that point I got tired of that childish behavior so I packed my bag and left her place to go to the gym. While I close the door she pulls it back open and approaches me and starts to hit me. I dont do anything but turn around and walk down the stairs, she continues hitting and pulling me while she screams: you will stay here fkn ***hole. while shes pulling my shirt I turn around and grab her hands so that she can no longer hit me and tell her: you cant be serious (honestly I never expected her to freak out like that). She then stops hitting me and we argue for some minutes but finally I leave her place and head to the gym.

Later I went back to hers (maybe thinking in my head that this just cant be true and hoping for the best...naive I know)She apologized but that was it. We spent the rest of the day on a trip that I had planned for a long time and didnt want to cancel so we couldnt talk about stuff that just happened.

Wtf happened? how am I supposed to react now? For me the hitting part was really a dealbreaker and since then its not been the same for me however she acts as if nothing ever happened...
I still have feelings for her but I sure as hell wont accept this kind of treatment

WTF brahs was it my mistake cause I wanted to go the gym on a day where it was not scheduled?


cliffs: pls just read cliffs can not fully tell the story...

thx

Waiting for you to confirm that you dumped this girl, otherwise i may neg you.

[g1z]

Bro, ever relationship has arguments etc but phucked if I'd be putting up with physical abuse. That's ridiculous.
End it. It will only get worse now she knows she can get away with it.

[Lunu]

She sounds entirely crazy OP. Get out now.

[DidNotReadL0L]

hit her back, put her in her place then smash. she probably just needs the dik

[TheJizzler]

This thread is now about how you dump her

well I wasn't quite clear it isnt really a schedule its just an agreement where I said that saturday is a day for us...

Anyways when I left yesterday she suddenly started crying and when I asked whats wrong she asked me why I havent tried to have sex with her that day. Told her I was tired...then on my way home I texted her that it was because she had hit me...she replied that she cant talk about that rght now 'cause she had to figure out whether she could live with me not trying to have sex with her...

Your gf sounds like a prize kunt. Text her a weekplan with 7 days that you're not going to have sex with her and peace out.

[SgtGucci]

What the ****, dude? Run. Unless her life totally falls apart without you, you've got NO reason to stay. Jesus.

[misterMaster]

What the ****, dude? Run. Unless her life totally falls apart without you, you've got NO reason to stay. Jesus.

Life totally falling apart without me?she moved to another city for me...

[Beggserker]

Dayum! That sux OP even if you still have feelings it should never get to that stage where she is striking you esp over something a simple as you going to the gym...whatever you choose good luck!

[vordulmega]

Life totally falling apart without me?she moved to another city for me...

send her back, no excuses

[rose229]

So recently me and my girlfriend of 2,5 years (we had a break of 5 months inbetween but we're back together for 10 months right now) have been going to a lot of fights about some rather important but also about minor things....

she accused me of looking at other women eventhough I am not

but the major issue is not that it is that she cant handle if I do not do the things she wants me to do which causes her to be very angry (insulting etc)


for example she doesnt like the fact that I go to the gym after uni 'cause she says that takes time in that we could see eachother away...so after numerous discussions and fights I suggested that we would type out a "weekplan" so it is clear when I go to the gym and when I come over to hers, when we spend time etc. So this last week I had holidays from uni but during these holidays I had to do an extremely important paper for uni so basically I was pretty til friday (deadline for that paper)
Anyways according to our agreement I go to the gym on tuesday, thursday, friday and sunday. But hence the deadline on friday I was not able to go workout because I had to finish up my paper. So after handing in my paper friday night I went over to hers and spent the night with her. Next morning around 11ish I tell her that I could go to the gym right now because I missed out yesterday. She got pissed and said that this is my own fault and that she is not gonna put up with that. I said hey cmon its not that big of a deal maybe 60 to 90 min that we would not be able to be together and that I really like going to the gym etc.
She refuses to talk to me. At that point I got tired of that childish behavior so I packed my bag and left her place to go to the gym. While I close the door she pulls it back open and approaches me and starts to hit me. I dont do anything but turn around and walk down the stairs, she continues hitting and pulling me while she screams: you will stay here fkn ***hole. while shes pulling my shirt I turn around and grab her hands so that she can no longer hit me and tell her: you cant be serious (honestly I never expected her to freak out like that). She then stops hitting me and we argue for some minutes but finally I leave her place and head to the gym.

Later I went back to hers (maybe thinking in my head that this just cant be true and hoping for the best...naive I know)She apologized but that was it. We spent the rest of the day on a trip that I had planned for a long time and didnt want to cancel so we couldnt talk about stuff that just happened.

Wtf happened? how am I supposed to react now? For me the hitting part was really a dealbreaker and since then its not been the same for me however she acts as if nothing ever happened...
I still have feelings for her but I sure as hell wont accept this kind of treatment

WTF brahs was it my mistake cause I wanted to go the gym on a day where it was not scheduled?


cliffs: pls just read cliffs can not fully tell the story...

thx

Ahhh. This is sad. She loves you and wants you to want to be with her all the time like she wants to be with you. What's sad is that she has issues. When she got like that you should record her and play it for her. You should not have went to the gym that time. You should have sat and talked and made her feel secure and tell her as nicely as possible that something is wrong. She needs to see a Dr. She may have a chemical imbalance. Jealousy obsessive with you freaking out like that hitting something is not rite .I've been through that myself. I was nuts and pregnant and then like that for almost six months till I got help! Question does she seem to act worse around the time of her period? If yes then it is probly a hormonal imbalance. You really did nothing wrong. You made total sense. She is not thinking rationally. And no hitting ever name calling either there is really no reason for that she is dead wrong.maybe if you cheat deserve a slap and a few awful names! But you love her be kind and get her help

[rose229]

well I wasn't quite clear it isnt really a schedule its just an agreement where I said that saturday is a day for us...

Anyways when I left yesterday she suddenly started crying and when I asked whats wrong she asked me why I havent tried to have sex with her that day. Told her I was tired...then on my way home I texted her that it was because she had hit me...she replied that she cant talk about that rght now 'cause she had to figure out whether she could live with me not trying to have sex with her...

Plz don't listen to these people. They haven't a clue . Yes it's easiest to run. If you love her it's gonna kill you to leave. After reading this, it sure sounds like a hormonal issue. Love her have her talk with you to her friends and family so she realizes that's what it is and not just you coming down on her. Your girl needs help rite now, people go through all sorts of problems. When you love someone you help them in their time of need you don't run out on them. But if she won't get help then you will have to go hitting should never be tolerated. And if she keeps it up with the names and hitting and you stay you will wind up doing the same to her and hate yourself for it. Get her help!

[cookiefiend]

Yes abusive. Would be best to leave.

[cookiefiend]

Plz don't listen to these people. They haven't a clue . Yes it's easiest to run. If you love her it's gonna kill you to leave. After reading this, it sure sounds like a hormonal issue. Love her have her talk with you to her friends and family so she realizes that's what it is and not just you coming down on her. Your girl needs help rite now, people go through all sorts of problems. When you love someone you help them in their time of need you don't run out on them. But if she won't get help then you will have to go hitting should never be tolerated. And if she keeps it up with the names and hitting and you stay you will wind up doing the same to her and hate yourself for it. Get her help!

If it was a woman being hit by her boyfriend would you beg her not to listen to people telling her to leave?
Ridiculous.

[MrBungle11]

Plz don't listen to these people. They haven't a clue . Yes it's easiest to run. If you love her it's gonna kill you to leave. After reading this, it sure sounds like a hormonal issue. Love her have her talk with you to her friends and family so she realizes that's what it is and not just you coming down on her. Your girl needs help rite now, people go through all sorts of problems. When you love someone you help them in their time of need you don't run out on them. But if she won't get help then you will have to go hitting should never be tolerated. And if she keeps it up with the names and hitting and you stay you will wind up doing the same to her and hate yourself for it. Get her help!

Since when is any sort of physical abuse ok? It's ok as long as she gets help??