hey guys if u have any funny muscle jokes please post them i need a laugh something short like
you have the tickets:
the tickets to the gun show
you have any tape?:
i am ripped
they closed stone mountain.
why?
they found a bigger rock
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Results 1 to 30 of 68
Thread: funny muscle jokes
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05-25-2006, 08:07 PM #1Registered User
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funny muscle jokes
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05-25-2006, 08:07 PM #2Banned
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I almost got arrested today
Why?
For having those guns!!!
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05-25-2006, 08:14 PM #3Registered User
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hahaha
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05-25-2006, 08:37 PM #4Registered User
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Almost got kicked out of school today
why
carrying around a six pack and 2 guns
Guns Jokes *sigh* lol
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05-25-2006, 08:37 PM #5~~UBER-JEW~~
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got any band aids
y?
check out these cutsLast edited by rocketracer999; 05-25-2006 at 08:42 PM.
BMW M3............$53,000
Armani Leather Jacket............$700
Rolex Watch............$3,450
The Latspread............priceless
Attraction of the opposite sex.........priceless
Myofibrillar Hypertrophy..........priceless
The Muscle Pump...............priceless
The look on your ex-gf's face after cutting season........priceless
There are alot of things money CAN buy, for everything else theres BODYBUILDING.
** QUOTED FROM SKULLCRUSHER45**
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05-25-2006, 08:46 PM #6Registered User
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Lol funny stuff, umm i got one.
Did the Zoo call you today?
No.. why?
Well they called me and said they wanted their Pythons back.**I'm like the East coast number one playboy B,
Hugh Hefner'll tell you he don't got sh*t on me**
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05-25-2006, 08:47 PM #7Registered User
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lol...what are those strings hanging from your shirt?
hu?
ooo wait there your arms!!
Eh...another corny joke
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05-25-2006, 11:35 PM #8Registered User
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heres my favorite, "hey i just got accepted to UCMB", huh? whats that? "University of California Muscle Beach!" also this has to do with girls and emo losers, "chicks already have a pussy they dont need another one" lol
age 17 5'7" 185lbs
bench 295
squat 385
deadlift 420
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05-26-2006, 03:44 AM #9Don't Panic
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Take it you like cows?
No why?
Becuase look at those calves
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05-26-2006, 03:46 AM #10
I cant wear a jacket without a concealed weapon license.
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05-26-2006, 04:06 AM #11
HERE:
Hey, look, I have muscles.
HAHAHAHAHAHA Whadda knee slapper
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05-26-2006, 04:40 AM #12Registered User
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IS THERE A VET AROUND HERE?
- NO, WHY?
CAUSE THESE PYTHONS ARE SICK!!!
when someone askes you the direction to some place.... flex your bicep and point and go 'the beach..... is that a way' in an arnold voice.
when threating someone, look down at your right bicep, then your left one, and say 'what do you want... the hospital, or the morgue?'
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05-31-2006, 03:49 AM #13
hahaha more.
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05-31-2006, 11:11 AM #14Registered User
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these jokes are gold more more !
Determination is key!
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05-31-2006, 11:39 AM #15Registered User
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most of dem are gay but thier bb jokes
Gold's Gym was robbed last week, that's the last time they recommend free weights....
Why did the stupid Bodybuilder train at the zoo?
He wanted to get ripped to shreds....
Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? Because he was squatting
What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? Curls
Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
He wanted maximum isolation.
If you notice a number of Bodybuilders in the gym getting erections,don't worry it's called bulking up.
What do you get when you cross a Bodybuilder with a peeping tom? Amazing peeks.
A smart alec sent an oxford dictionary to a pro bodybuilder and told him it would help with the definition.
Did you hear about the farmer, he was arrested for destroying his calves in the gym.
A kid talking to Ronnie Coleman
"What does KG mean sir?"
"Killer Glutes"
Coach:"A bodybuilder is like a tree God."
Client:"Yeah,and some of them bare their nuts."
A dumb Bodybuilder tried to rescue a girl from two live power cables but he got electocuted because he tried to do cable crossovers.
Arnold Schwarzennegger's arms were so big he could break a Hotel Chain
A female Bodybuilder once injected steroids into her pussy, now she's a muscly c*nt.
thats all for now...Last edited by sbeamer; 05-31-2006 at 11:44 AM.
Determination is key!
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05-31-2006, 11:40 AM #16Registered User
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This one only works on someone else that is big...They walk in with their hands in their pockets...Do you have a permit? And they say "A permit for what?!" and you say , You cant just carry around concealed deadly weapons! Kinda lame i know
I work at wal-mart, and everyone calls me muscle man. I'm not huge but im above average. Anyway, one day i walked in before work and got one of those pink stickers that you have to get on returned items so that the service desk knows you broght it in the store. I put it on my arm and walked over to the service desk and said " I would like to returns these guns" They still make references about that to me.
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05-31-2006, 11:40 AM #17Registered User
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This one only works on someone else that is big...They walk in with their hands in their pockets...Do you have a permit? And they say "A permit for what?!" and you say , You cant just carry around concealed deadly weapons! Kinda lame i know
I work at wal-mart, and everyone calls me muscle man. I'm not huge but im above average. Anyway, one day i walked in before work and got one of those pink stickers that you have to get on returned items so that the service desk knows you broght it in the store. I put it on my arm and walked over to the service desk and said " I would like to returns these guns" They still make references about that to me.
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05-31-2006, 11:44 AM #18LiFtInG iN eNgLaNd
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why did arnold iin his lamborghini cross the road..
to find some wheels
hahaha.... ok it sucked'May god have mercy upon my enemies, because i wont.'
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..........(()(''( ._|_. )'')())..........
...............\-i-/................
.........../ ''i'' \.............
.......(() ).( ()).......
.....( )......( ).....
.=O...........O=.
'Its not the size of the dog in the fight its the size of the fight in the dog'
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06-01-2006, 03:31 PM #19
hahaha
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06-01-2006, 03:45 PM #20Registered User
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lmao!!!Originally Posted by powerlift247
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06-01-2006, 04:07 PM #21Registered User
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Is there snow...on top of these peaks?
To be alive is to change
"I don't really fcuk with Africa cause people are starvin to death, and that's not balla to me."
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06-01-2006, 04:13 PM #22X
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you can tri (flex your tri) to get bi (flex your Bi) but you wont get back (hit a back double bi) or for alternate ending say youll get trapped (then most musclualr)
"Everyday I feel like I become less of a man but more of a legened"
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06-01-2006, 04:15 PM #23Banned
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these guns are illegal in 49 states...thats why im here.
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06-01-2006, 04:20 PM #24Registered User
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this happened to me at my gym...
some ******* told me to put a shirt on in the changeroom and i said..
I CAN'T MY MUSCLES ARE TOO BIG!!!what do you do when your fighting a dragon?
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06-01-2006, 05:14 PM #25Registered User
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what happened when the bodybuilder jumped into the pool of carrot juice
He found string beans and some toothpaste straped to a knee brace with duck tape
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06-09-2006, 09:17 PM #26
continue
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06-09-2006, 09:28 PM #27LOL. Nice one.Originally Posted by powerlift247*R.I.P Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin*
"The body says what words cannot."
"Being hardcore doesn't include wasting time and money on inferior copycat products. YOU want results, so stick with CELL-Tech!" .....?.....Ah....No....hmm....
Stats 7/30/06
Bench - 165 3x
Squat - 265 6x
Dead - 200 4x
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06-09-2006, 09:53 PM #28
Why did the bodybuilder want a lawn mower? So he can cut for the competition.
Pretty corny, but I made it up myself lol.
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06-09-2006, 10:08 PM #29Muscleman Admirer
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Heard about the bodybuilder who soaked himself in ice cold water?
He wanted his muscles to have a full contraction.
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06-09-2006, 10:08 PM #30
"You better call a plumber, cause these pipes are about to burst!"
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