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  1. #1
    Registered User charbar52's Avatar
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    funny muscle jokes

    hey guys if u have any funny muscle jokes please post them i need a laugh something short like

    you have the tickets:
    the tickets to the gun show

    you have any tape?:
    i am ripped

    they closed stone mountain.
    why?
    they found a bigger rock
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  2. #2
    Banned karmazon's Avatar
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    I almost got arrested today
    Why?
    For having those guns!!!
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  3. #3
    Registered User charbar52's Avatar
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    hahaha
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  4. #4
    Registered User Coresant's Avatar
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    Almost got kicked out of school today
    why
    carrying around a six pack and 2 guns

    Guns Jokes *sigh* lol
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  5. #5
    ~~UBER-JEW~~ rocketracer999's Avatar
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    rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) rocketracer999 is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500)
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    got any band aids
    y?
    check out these cuts
    Last edited by rocketracer999; 05-25-2006 at 09:42 PM.
    BMW M3............$53,000
    Armani Leather Jacket............$700
    Rolex Watch............$3,450
    The Latspread............priceless
    Attraction of the opposite sex.........priceless
    Myofibrillar Hypertrophy..........priceless
    The Muscle Pump...............priceless
    The look on your ex-gf's face after cutting season........priceless

    There are alot of things money CAN buy, for everything else theres BODYBUILDING.

    ** QUOTED FROM SKULLCRUSHER45**
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  6. #6
    Registered User bench56's Avatar
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    Lol funny stuff, umm i got one.

    Did the Zoo call you today?
    No.. why?
    Well they called me and said they wanted their Pythons back.
    **I'm like the East coast number one playboy B,
    Hugh Hefner'll tell you he don't got sh*t on me**
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  7. #7
    Registered User surfsnowskate's Avatar
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    lol...what are those strings hanging from your shirt?
    hu?
    ooo wait there your arms!!

    Eh...another corny joke
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  8. #8
    Registered User powerlift247's Avatar
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    heres my favorite, "hey i just got accepted to UCMB", huh? whats that? "University of California Muscle Beach!" also this has to do with girls and emo losers, "chicks already have a pussy they dont need another one" lol
    age 17 5'7" 185lbs

    bench 295
    squat 385
    deadlift 420
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  9. #9
    Don't Panic Niyko's Avatar
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    Take it you like cows?

    No why?

    Becuase look at those calves
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  10. #10
    Banned Frodo16's Avatar
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    I cant wear a jacket without a concealed weapon license.
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  11. #11
    Banned RippedNYLifter's Avatar
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    HERE:


    Hey, look, I have muscles.





    HAHAHAHAHAHA Whadda knee slapper
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  12. #12
    Registered User Spenser's Avatar
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    IS THERE A VET AROUND HERE?

    - NO, WHY?

    CAUSE THESE PYTHONS ARE SICK!!!


    when someone askes you the direction to some place.... flex your bicep and point and go 'the beach..... is that a way' in an arnold voice.

    when threating someone, look down at your right bicep, then your left one, and say 'what do you want... the hospital, or the morgue?'
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  13. #13
    Registered User napalm9's Avatar
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    hahaha more.
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  14. #14
    Registered User sbeamer's Avatar
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    these jokes are gold more more !
    Determination is key!
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  15. #15
    Registered User sbeamer's Avatar
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    most of dem are gay but thier bb jokes

    Gold's Gym was robbed last week, that's the last time they recommend free weights....

    Why did the stupid Bodybuilder train at the zoo?
    He wanted to get ripped to shreds....

    Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? Because he was squatting

    What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? Curls

    Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
    He wanted maximum isolation.

    If you notice a number of Bodybuilders in the gym getting erections,don't worry it's called bulking up.

    What do you get when you cross a Bodybuilder with a peeping tom? Amazing peeks.

    A smart alec sent an oxford dictionary to a pro bodybuilder and told him it would help with the definition.

    Did you hear about the farmer, he was arrested for destroying his calves in the gym.

    A kid talking to Ronnie Coleman
    "What does KG mean sir?"
    "Killer Glutes"

    Coach:"A bodybuilder is like a tree God."
    Client:"Yeah,and some of them bare their nuts."

    A dumb Bodybuilder tried to rescue a girl from two live power cables but he got electocuted because he tried to do cable crossovers.

    Arnold Schwarzennegger's arms were so big he could break a Hotel Chain

    A female Bodybuilder once injected steroids into her pussy, now she's a muscly c*nt.

    thats all for now...
    Last edited by sbeamer; 05-31-2006 at 12:44 PM.
    Determination is key!
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  16. #16
    Registered User CleanSlateScott's Avatar
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    This one only works on someone else that is big...They walk in with their hands in their pockets...Do you have a permit? And they say "A permit for what?!" and you say , You cant just carry around concealed deadly weapons! Kinda lame i know

    I work at wal-mart, and everyone calls me muscle man. I'm not huge but im above average. Anyway, one day i walked in before work and got one of those pink stickers that you have to get on returned items so that the service desk knows you broght it in the store. I put it on my arm and walked over to the service desk and said " I would like to returns these guns" They still make references about that to me.
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  17. #17
    Registered User CleanSlateScott's Avatar
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    This one only works on someone else that is big...They walk in with their hands in their pockets...Do you have a permit? And they say "A permit for what?!" and you say , You cant just carry around concealed deadly weapons! Kinda lame i know

    I work at wal-mart, and everyone calls me muscle man. I'm not huge but im above average. Anyway, one day i walked in before work and got one of those pink stickers that you have to get on returned items so that the service desk knows you broght it in the store. I put it on my arm and walked over to the service desk and said " I would like to returns these guns" They still make references about that to me.
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  18. #18
    LiFtInG iN eNgLaNd gymboy99's Avatar
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    why did arnold iin his lamborghini cross the road..























    to find some wheels

    hahaha.... ok it sucked
    'May god have mercy upon my enemies, because i wont.'
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    'Its not the size of the dog in the fight its the size of the fight in the dog'
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  19. #19
    Registered User napalm9's Avatar
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    hahaha
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  20. #20
    Registered User Apexx's Avatar
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    Talking

    Originally Posted by powerlift247
    "chicks already have a pussy they dont need another one" lol
    lmao!!!
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  21. #21
    Registered User seymourandcrime's Avatar
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    Is there snow...on top of these peaks?
    To be alive is to change


    "I don't really fcuk with Africa cause people are starvin to death, and that's not balla to me."
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  22. #22
    X Lifter X's Avatar
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    you can tri (flex your tri) to get bi (flex your Bi) but you wont get back (hit a back double bi) or for alternate ending say youll get trapped (then most musclualr)
    "Everyday I feel like I become less of a man but more of a legened"
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  23. #23
    Banned t-mic's Avatar
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    these guns are illegal in 49 states...thats why im here.
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  24. #24
    Registered User gympian's Avatar
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    this happened to me at my gym...

    some ******* told me to put a shirt on in the changeroom and i said..

    I CAN'T MY MUSCLES ARE TOO BIG!!!
    what do you do when your fighting a dragon?
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  25. #25
    Registered User Grlax's Avatar
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    what happened when the bodybuilder jumped into the pool of carrot juice








    He found string beans and some toothpaste straped to a knee brace with duck tape
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  26. #26
    Registered User napalm9's Avatar
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    continue
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  27. #27
    Fo Lyfe New1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by powerlift247
    "chicks already have a pussy they dont need another one"
    LOL. Nice one.
    *R.I.P Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin*
    "The body says what words cannot."
    "Being hardcore doesn't include wasting time and money on inferior copycat products. YOU want results, so stick with CELL-Tech!" .....?.....Ah....No....hmm....
    Stats 7/30/06
    Bench - 165 3x
    Squat - 265 6x
    Dead - 200 4x
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  28. #28
    Registered User EthanDM's Avatar
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    Why did the bodybuilder want a lawn mower? So he can cut for the competition.

    Pretty corny, but I made it up myself lol.
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  29. #29
    Muscleman Admirer Chahn's Avatar
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    Heard about the bodybuilder who soaked himself in ice cold water?

    He wanted his muscles to have a full contraction.
    はじめまして, 私はミスクのチヤン! 我姓陳.

    "If you spend your life worrying about what people think you will spend your life in mediocrity."
    -Layne Norton

    "...but anything worth doing is usually damned difficult and that's how I like it. What's the point of life if you don't challenge yourself. I assure you that if you always take the path of least resistance you will wind up extremely average."
    -Layne Norton

    -if I know you in real life and you are stalking me here, shame on you-
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    Registered User kyleob's Avatar
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    "You better call a plumber, cause these pipes are about to burst!"
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