the end of my relationship..just needing to let it out

**Da CaVeman** · 04-30-2006, 05:09 PM

well, this august would've been our 4th year together but it won't happen....My relationship with my gf has been a lil bumpy for the past few months but now its all over...Here's how it went.....Past couple of weeks, she's been on this stupid chatroom that her brother goes on...She started talking to these people that are already friends with her brother....minutes of talking became hours....She would come home from school or work and go rite on...Then, I recently found out (very reliable source...100% sure) that she has become attracted to 2 of the guys on there...the chat group is haveing a meet in cali in july...she is going and one of the guys is offering to take her places and stuff and now they're actually flirting....Things were somewhat ok until this past 2 weeks....she would be on the computer until 4, 5, 6 a.m and when she would come into bed, she'd put a pillow between us but would kinda play it off in a cute way when I asked wat was this about....ever since then, we haven't spoken a word to each other but I do konw that this relationship is over....

Rite now I am confused about my feelings....Yes I am sad because well, its been about 4 years and we had a lot of fun together...But the other side of me is kinda relieved/happy? One moment I'm in a good moood and the next moment I'm sadden by the thought...when I'm in the gym, sometimes the thought of this makes me extremely angry....Its time for me to move on...

We live in the same apartment with her brother and another male roomate....I have my own room...I'll be graduating soon, so I guess I'm gonna move out and dissapear...

I guess this is all I have to say.....

the truth hurts...but I guess i gotta let life take its path sometimes...the end is very close if not already here...It was nice while it lasted...great memories, laughs, moments...I loved her more than she will ever know. I would've done anything for her...All I ever wanted in return was her love and her happiness but it just all seem to have faded away with time...I would've never expected it to end like this...never. Another chapter in my life will soon come to an end...wat lies ahead may seem dark and rough now, but when did that ever stop me from achieving what I set out to do. In bodybuilding, when a muscle takes a beating and becomes hurt and damage, only rest and time will allow it to heal itself, only to grow better and stronger......So 4 years (Aug. 23, 2002 about 3 A.M on the corner of her aparment-April XXX, in our apartment) its coming to an end.........Goodbye Honey...my love.....A****.....goodbye........

**Donster** · 04-30-2006, 05:14 PM

4 years and over a chat-room, thats harsh bro...

thats a very long time..yes i believe that some people after a long time change...the connection just aint there anymore. I odnt envy your position at all, i was there not long ago albeit it was a smaller lengh relationship.

stay strong, and just occupy your mind with something else, time will take over..

**hardestgainer** · 04-30-2006, 05:17 PM

that really sucks man im sorry. things between me and my gf are getting kinda bumpy too cuz of a couple of her guy friends who wont stop flirting with her and her dad doesnt like me because im not the same religion. She still tells me every day that she loves me but it feels like things are just slowly falling apart and it sucks because I love her more than anything else and would do anything for her

**Sweet Cheeks** · 04-30-2006, 05:20 PM

...

**Jhendi82** · 04-30-2006, 05:43 PM

I'm lost for words bro 4 years together and a chatroom ending things...I wish you the best fo luck. I know personally how it feels to loose the love of your life, and walking away while you still an. I know its hard but things will get better with time.

**Uncle Junior** · 04-30-2006, 06:17 PM

Easy. F*ck her off and start again. But tell her it's because you met someone in an internet chat room. Seriously, say it and see what her reaction is. Reply to her reaction as you will.

**Da CaVeman** · 04-30-2006, 08:41 PM

thanx for the words guys and I guess I can say for the collin powell also....Yeah thats wat I was saying about the whole internet thing but oh well...I can't be the weak one here...Obviously we weren't meant to be together so here's the proof....I'm not gonna try to be macho and say I'm not hurt losing her....But I don't want to dwell on this like I did with my first break up...I just gotta pick up where I left off and keep going...and also remember that there is always someone else out there......I'm still young (24) so relationships at this point still kinda comes and goes...Again, thanx to those who replied...event he simplest words from total strangers means a lot to me

**angelfire2005** · 04-30-2006, 08:46 PM

Time heals all wounds. Stay strong bro, remember it's her lost not yours.

**RaiderLacrosse** · 04-30-2006, 08:51 PM

That's awful man. So many people are so blind to the fact that emotions fade after the initial few months of beautiful, new love. They think that just because they are mentally and physicall stimulated for the time being that this will be the love that will fulfill them for the rest of their lives. They say that being faithful is staying with a person even when it seems like it would be better or easier to be with someone else. If that is the case, then I know few people who are faithful. Love is harder to find, but even harder to keep. Stay strong man.

**BuffR1** · 04-30-2006, 08:54 PM

Sorry to hear about it man.
If you truely think its over, do yourself a favor and follow your own words. Disappear! I broke up with the girl I thought I was gonna be with forever two years.
We continued to see each other occasionally, while never actually getting back together up untill 2 months ago. and it turned the whole thing into a joke. My point is that I could of found someone new in those two years, but I hung onto what was left with her, and now she finally got a new boyfriend and im standing there like a fool. And it still hurts! So just get the hell away and dont waste your time! The faster you get away and stay away, the faster the pain goes away. Trust me

**Da CaVeman** · 04-30-2006, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by BuffR1

Sorry to hear about it man.
If you truely think its over, do yourself a favor and follow your own words. Disappear! I broke up with the girl I thought I was gonna be with forever two years.
We continued to see each other occasionally, while never actually getting back together up untill 2 months ago. and it turned the whole thing into a joke. My point is that I could of found someone new in those two years, but I hung onto what was left with her, and now she finally got a new boyfriend and im standing there like a fool. And it still hurts! So just get the hell away and dont waste your time! The faster you get away and stay away, the faster the pain goes away. Trust me

Man thats rough...best of luck with ur situation...

As for me, I don't plan on hanging on to her at all....I gave it all I had and if she doens't appreciate it and its not enough than its time to pass her on to someone else...There were so many other girls that I would've have a good time with but chose to stay away because i was being LOYAL to my gf...

**cementhead** · 04-30-2006, 10:51 PM

man thats sad.I got blown off on a fist date and i feel bad i cant imagin how bad u feel.

**Uncle Junior** · 04-30-2006, 11:02 PM

Originally Posted by cementhead

man thats sad.I got blown off on a fist date and i feel bad i cant imagin how bad u feel.

Only because the fist didn't fit in your ass after you claimed it would.

**cementhead** · 04-30-2006, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by Uncle Junior

Only because the fist didn't fit in your ass after you claimed it would.

dude your a ***get

**Uncle Junior** · 04-30-2006, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by cementhead

dude your a ***get

I'm not the one who was blown off on a fist date because the fist wouldn't fit, f*ckface.

**Toph** · 05-01-2006, 01:29 AM

Originally Posted by Uncle Junior

I'm not the one who was blown off on a fist date because the fist wouldn't fit, f*ckface.

A guy posts here about his relationship.

Hes open, honest and bravely emotional about it, and you 2 kiddies turn it into a pre school 'my dads a fireman, he can hit you with his axe' bull**** fight.

Grow the **** up

To the OP

Mate, i know a bit of how you feel everyone if different). Just before my seperation from my ex wife, she was pulling away and distant, into new things etc. There is a huge temptation to chase after her make her love you again. The sad truth is, you cant make anyone love you and reps for not chasing and realising the truth.

Having done it myself, only advice (trite as it sounds) time AND get a new hobby. I dont care if its base jumping or knitting just find something new JUST FOR YOU that youve never done before.

Best of luck

**BB is 4 life :)** · 05-01-2006, 05:17 AM

Sorry to here that dude, that sucks, and im going through a similar situation....break up i mean, and its actually all her fault.....how rare!!!

Anyway, i suggest you print the attached picture off and stick it to the computer.....

**bass generator** · 05-01-2006, 05:22 AM

thats harsh mate,shes not worth getting upset over,use your time to do something more positive and try and meet new girls,after 4 years it will be hard but the sooner you get out and meet more girls the sooner you will be over her for good.

**TheLBM** · 05-01-2006, 05:34 AM

love is hard. Breaking up is hard. the end of a relationship is hard. I also am going thru some really tough times with my wife of 4 years. Ya gotta keep a positive attitude. Remember your counter part does NOT define who you are.
Life does go on. And with the right outlook it can be better and more fufilling than before. You need to learn from the past. Do not let this crush you. I understand how it feels (believe me). Get pissed and let it out,get it out of your system. Then take a real look at your life and you will see that the relationship no matter how powerfull it was, is only a small part of the big picture. It may not feel like that right now when you are in the middle of everything. But trust me.
Time will heal the wounds. Maybe this is just a rant of an overtired and over stressed man. But i DO believe that my life is my own. I am in charge of what goes on in my brain. I dicide what to focus on and i choose to be positive.
Hope this helps.
Sorry for your pain.

**Uncle Junior** · 05-01-2006, 05:49 AM

Originally Posted by Toph

A guy posts here about his relationship.

Hes open, honest and bravely emotional about it, and you 2 kiddies turn it into a pre school 'my dads a fireman, he can hit you with his axe' bull**** fight.

Grow the **** up

To the OP

Mate, i know a bit of how you feel everyone if different). Just before my seperation from my ex wife, she was pulling away and distant, into new things etc. There is a huge temptation to chase after her make her love you again. The sad truth is, you cant make anyone love you and reps for not chasing and realising the truth.

Having done it myself, only advice (trite as it sounds) time AND get a new hobby. I dont care if its base jumping or knitting just find something new JUST FOR YOU that youve never done before.

Best of luck

Have a cry about it next time, asshat.

**Toph** · 05-01-2006, 06:30 AM

Originally Posted by Uncle Junior

Have a cry about it next time, asshat.

suck it up princess and grow a pair.

discuss the OP issue

**Uncle Junior** · 05-01-2006, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by Toph

suck it up princess and grow a pair.

discuss the OP issue

You're the one crying about it, Tinkerbell. Not me.

**Toph** · 05-01-2006, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by Uncle Junior

You're the one crying about it, Tinkerbell. Not me.

Not crying, showing respect

**Uncle Junior** · 05-01-2006, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by Toph

Not crying, showing respect

Respect on a messageboard is a big thing too

**AshtonUK** · 05-01-2006, 07:17 AM

I'm in the midst of trying to deal with a break up of a 2 year relationship, the thing ive learnt most is that u cant change someone that doesnt want to change, you cant wish someone something theyre not and if you continue in the relationship once you've realised that that person is perhaps not what you first expected and that she has things about her that upset you...yet you gloss over it and carry on, in the long run, you're going to get burned. At many points in my relationship i thought to myself "maybe i should break this off and save myself a big hurt in the future" but i didn't, i ended up in denial of the subtle hints and then the not so subtle hints that she was going to break my heart and became totally besotted with her, and now she has left me to go and experiment like i knew she always would, and she does not care one bit about my feelings, like having your love thrown in the garbage...it hurts, i dont quite know how im going to get over this, she was my first love, all i know is that its not a choice if i will or wont... i have to

**Donster** · 05-01-2006, 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by AshtonUK

I'm in the midst of trying to deal with a break up of a 2 year relationship, the thing ive learnt most is that u cant change someone that doesnt want to change, you cant wish someone something theyre not and if you continue in the relationship once you've realised that that person is perhaps not what you first expected and that she has things about her that upset you...yet you gloss over it and carry on, in the long run, you're going to get burned. At many points in my relationship i thought to myself "maybe i should break this off and save myself a big hurt in the future" but i didn't, i ended up in denial of the subtle hints and then the not so subtle hints that she was going to break my heart and became totally besotted with her, and now she has left me to go and experiment like i knew she always would, and she does not care one bit about my feelings, like having your love thrown in the garbage...it hurts, i dont quite know how im going to get over this, she was my first love, all i know is that its not a choice if i will or wont... i have to

best post yet, you "cant change someone" is so true, you can try. But more than likely its going to hurt like hell trying...

**AshtonUK** · 05-01-2006, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by PHATBOY DONZA

best post yet, you "cant change someone" is so true, you can try. But more than likely its going to hurt like hell trying...

check ur PM's man

**Donster** · 05-01-2006, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by AshtonUK

check ur PM's man

sound, check urs too..

**Amris** · 05-01-2006, 07:34 AM

Well, I know it'll sound like a weak statement, but you have a lot of reason to have self-respect through this. You've maintained a relationship for four years. You're not the one ending it through horribly bad behavior.

You have every reason to be happy, yet also sad. You wanted the relationship to work, and you dedicated yourself to making it happen. This is, in my personal opinion, a mark of a good person.

So now that your girl has decided that she is not going to be a good person, too, the time of your being together is coming to an end. It's painful to know that you put forth all that work, only to watch it end. Yet, there is also the joy of knowing that each ending is a new beginning. There is the joy of knowing that this person who doesn't deserve you is being swept from your life, and a place prepared for someone worthy of you.

I'm sorry that endings have to hurt, but I wish you all of the very best in the new beginning that has begun to dawn in your life.

**Jhendi82** · 05-01-2006, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by AshtonUK

I'm in the midst of trying to deal with a break up of a 2 year relationship, the thing ive learnt most is that u cant change someone that doesnt want to change, you cant wish someone something theyre not and if you continue in the relationship once you've realised that that person is perhaps not what you first expected and that she has things about her that upset you...yet you gloss over it and carry on, in the long run, you're going to get burned. At many points in my relationship i thought to myself "maybe i should break this off and save myself a big hurt in the future" but i didn't, i ended up in denial of the subtle hints and then the not so subtle hints that she was going to break my heart and became totally besotted with her, and now she has left me to go and experiment like i knew she always would, and she does not care one bit about my feelings, like having your love thrown in the garbage...it hurts, i dont quite know how im going to get over this, she was my first love, all i know is that its not a choice if i will or wont... i have to

Very similar to my situation i couldn't chaneg the ex but i kept hanging around thinking she would change. We were trying to work things out but she started acing different again, then out of the blue she tells me shes going to move out of her parents and move in with some guy that she claims is just her best friend. This best friend happanes to be her ex who constantly tries to get in her pants. Thats all i could take, I always had in the back of my mind that she was playing around. She would always swear that she didn't but I wasn't happy with her choice so i elft for good. I stayed around for to long giving into her needs while i was completely misreable. I made a choice for my own health and hapiness. no matter how much i love/loved her she will never change, the situation will always be shady and i will always have trouble trusting her based on her past behavior.

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