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  1. #1
    BROtatoes and BROminos qualitywah's Avatar
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    happy ending massage?

    So my girlfriend gave me a gift card to this massage place called massage envy b/c I am always asking her to massage me. http://www.massageenvy.com/ She said I can ask for a massage anywhere I want, so the first thing that comes to mind is a "happy ending" massage. How do I get a "happy ending" or does it just happen? I've never been to a massage place before so I'm new to professional massages. Reps for good tips. (serious responses only) Thanks guys
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  2. #2
    Bears NFC North Champs ChicagoCubz's Avatar
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    You gonna get arrested.
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  3. #3
    Jabroni PatrickBateman1's Avatar
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    Doesn't look like that type of place...
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  4. #4
    Banned LinusVanPelt's Avatar
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    Usually they will say in an asian accent "You want hop-py ending?"
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  5. #5
    Registered User MrOneEyedBoh's Avatar
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    thats usually a myth. but some places do still do them. i wouldnt ask...
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  6. #6
    Polamalu Hair Grizvok's Avatar
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    The really shady places are where you get the happy ending, you definitely aren't going to get one there.
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  7. #7
    Banned gettnripped's Avatar
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    appears to be a legit massage parlor. girls are tricky bitches , ur gf probably did research before she got u this.
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  8. #8
    Registered User blitzz_krieg's Avatar
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    i lost my virginity in one when i was 20, hot girls, make sure u ask for a girl of ur choice, wear a rubber, and wait for her to ask u if u want "full-service"
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  9. #9
    BROtatoes and BROminos qualitywah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ChicagoCubz View Post
    You gonna get arrested.
    arrested for what? I'm not expecting to walk in there and be liek yes my cock hurts really bad" or something stupid. I was just wondering how they go about happening.
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  10. #10
    WAR GSP Takuan's Avatar
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    Deep tissue helps to loosen fascia (coating of muscles), which helps to make sure they aren't stiff and holding back growth.
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  11. #11
    Polamalu Hair Grizvok's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by qualitywah View Post
    arrested for what? I'm not expecting to walk in there and be liek yes my cock hurts really bad" or something stupid. I was just wondering how they go about happening.
    It isn't gonna happen, lol.
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  12. #12
    ΣΤΓ patsfan313's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by qualitywah View Post
    arrested for what? I'm not expecting to walk in there and be liek yes my cock hurts really bad" or something stupid. I was just wondering how they go about happening.
    u are F*ckin retarded
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  13. #13
    Winning! J-Peg's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrOneEyedBoh View Post
    thats usually a myth. but some places do still do them. i wouldnt ask...
    No son, it's not a myth. And happy endings don't happen at these places. They happen in the spas with the dark window tint on the front and one neon sign that says OPEN hanging in the window.
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  14. #14
    ****** killermike's Avatar
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    why spend all that money to get a handjob
    yes. having your gf getting railed by a black guy is always worse. (no racist) I don't know why exactly but it is. maybe it is because of the perception of their donkey dongs, they can give your gf what u can't.
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  15. #15
    Winning! J-Peg's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by killermike View Post
    why spend all that money to get a handjob
    $120 including tips and you get whatever you want after the 45 minute massage.........so a friend tells me.
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  16. #16
    BROtatoes and BROminos qualitywah's Avatar
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    hmm.. o well i wasn't expecting to a happy ending anyways. i will see what happens when i go to the place on saturday.
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  17. #17
    Registered User Archilla's Avatar
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    have your girlfriend give you a handjob
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  18. #18
    get on my level GetCrunK's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Takuan View Post
    Deep tissue helps to loosen fascia (coating of muscles), which helps to make sure they aren't stiff and holding back growth.
    does that hurt?
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  19. #19
    Registered User k_dutchak's Avatar
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    Gotta go to the places with "Erotic Massage" signs, around here they are open 24 hrs. and its minimum 40 bucks for a massage with happy ending, but you can pretty much pay for anything there, cute girls too if ur lucky.
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  20. #20
    Im not short I'm fun size pirouette's Avatar
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    OP, I don't think they give retarded kids massages without a guardian present
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  21. #21
    brb killin it DeterminedToWin's Avatar
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    I got a gift card for the same place on Christmas. It's definitely not that type of place.
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  22. #22
    hi Dummkopf's Avatar
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    aids?
    If you’ve got a 6 pack -- you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.
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  23. #23
    Coffee in my veins. John-Paul's Avatar
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    After the massage they will ask you if you want anything "more or extra" it's A la carte so bring extra $$$'s if you expect to get it. And like others have said it ain't going to happen at the place you're going. The guy who said blackened windows and neon open sign is correct.
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  24. #24
    Registered User k_dutchak's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by John-Paul View Post
    After the massage they will ask you if you want anything "more or extra" it's A la carte so bring extra $$$'s if you expect to get it. And like others have said it ain't going to happen at the place you're going. The guy who said blackened windows and neon open sign is correct.
    LOL the place ive been to, has the infamous neon "open" sign and painted black windows
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  25. #25
    Registered User atressler's Avatar
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    they will give u a happy ending in korea, or turkey. thats what my military buddies said tho... no experience
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  26. #26
    BROtatoes and BROminos qualitywah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pirouette View Post
    OP, I don't think they give retarded kids massages without a guardian present
    im not a kid.

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  27. #27
    (yes female) Noveske's Avatar
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    Isn't that kind of a slap in the face? Well, I guess not, unless your girlfriend intended to give you a gift certificate to get fellated. Which rarely happens.
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  28. #28
    Buffet of Manliness! Mighty_Metcalf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pirouette View Post
    OP, I don't think they give retarded kids massages without a guardian present
    lol




    yeah, Why not just have your girlfriend give you a handjob


    What's the diff.? It's a hand, its not you, it's not like it's the tang.
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  29. #29
    Polamalu Hair Grizvok's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mighty_Metcalf View Post
    lol




    yeah, Why not just have your girlfriend give you a handjob


    What's the diff.? It's a hand, its not you, it's not like it's the tang.
    You could just give yourself the ol' stranger if you wanted. Lay on your arm during the massage and when she is done just finish yourself off! (no homo)
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  30. #30
    je ne sais pas gerbilz's Avatar
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    o/p whats your real life name (just first name)
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