The Latest and Greatest Biotest Supplement

[Lonny]

Such innovators, always on the cutting edge.

http://www.t-nation.com/portal_inclu...ls/Degussa.pdf


And the writers are getting better by the year!

http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=993947

11) Lemon Aid

In prison, creatine monohydrate is more popular than the ethyl esters out there. It's even more popular than steroids. I've heard of creatine going for as much as a buck a gram.

In prison, 500 grams of German creatine will buy you a microwave for your cell, a really sweet shank, a few tattoos, and at least two biotches.

Where people once bitched and moaned about creatine's grainy texture, it proves to be an asset in jail. Creatine masquerades quite easily as the lemonade-flavored drink mix that's available in the commissary of most prisons. If they don't sell lemonade where you are, there are always people who transfer in from other prisons and bring things along with them.

Creatine doesn't look exactly like powdered lemonade, but the CO doing the shakedown isn't going to pay that much attention. He'll pick up the container, shake it, maybe open it and look inside. One thing I've never seen is a guard tasting something he finds in an inmate's locker.

[Blap Blaow]

I don't even know how to respond.

[Ephedra]

[qw3r]

Economics in jail are food-centric. You'll bet with food. You'll buy things with food . . . Everyone wants to know a dude who knows a dude with a line on chicken.

thats deep.

[dwm230000]

In prison, 500 grams of German creatine will buy you a microwave for your cell, a really sweet shank, a few tattoos, and at least two biotches.

I can't stop laughing.

[beer20]

2) Never Let 'em See You Sweat

Even if you never did cardio before, you're probably going to do it in jail because it takes up time. When you do, find a spray bottle and a rag before you start, and keep them nearby.

If you sweat even a little bit on something that someone else has to touch, wipe it up. Maybe you wander from drippy bench to drippy bench at your local gym, but you can't do that while you're locked up. Sickness spreads quickly in jail, and you need to keep all the body fluids you can under control. The dirtiest bastards – the ones you don't want to piss off – are also the most germaphobic and often wander around with their sprayer in one hand and a roll of toilet paper in the other.

Do your part to limit the amount of filth around you. Things will be gross enough without your help.

[BillyB]

I can't stop laughing.

Geeez, I wonder what a tube of CellTech would buy you......

[Mr. Aries]

Geeez, I wonder what a tube of CellTech would buy you......

i didnt' know they came in tubes??!?!? is it like a toothpaste tube?



The celltech i've seen always came in tubs....

[dwm230000]

Geeez, I wonder what a tube of CellTech would buy you......

parole?

[BillyB]

i didnt' know they came in tubes??!?!? is it like a toothpaste tube?



The celltech i've seen always came in tubs....

O come on John, I know you love my spelling.

[ericgonzalez]

In prison, 500 grams of German creatine will buy you a microwave for your cell, a really sweet shank, a few tattoos, and at least two biotches.

I don't know about you, but buying creatine from a couple of prison thugs trading creatine for "shanks" from fellows prisoners is where it's at.

Biotest just beat Fizogen as the most laughable supp company out there.

[holypal.com]

hahaha man, why would I know how to train in prison, like the commentators said: it glorify thugs, and all the scum inside prison

[bpi]

Weren't these guys picking on Primaforce for having a CM product at last years Arnold in one of their articles?

[doogieh]

i didnt' know they came in tubes??!?!?

It's their new anal cream. Perfect for the prison environment.

You don't want to see the 6 page ads for it.

[Lonny]

Frankly im suprised that they even mentioned the other forms of creatine. Normally they would just keep their average reader inside the bubble and not let them know there are other forms of creatine available. Of course the Biotest i remember would also bring up some elaborate justification as to why monohydrate is superior and the other companies are wrong.

I guess its better than the liquid creatine product they released.

But seriously, as I was reading that article, a little piece of me died.

[1-Testosterone]

atleast they aint killing the people with their creatine prices!
anyway, apart from couple of joking episodes, they do have some sdecent amount of innovation going into their products right when they were established.

I'm still a very big fan of their GROW proteins which are truly great.

[Outside backer]

ill never ever ever touch anything from biotest again aftetr they almost killed me with spike

[bigpump23]

Let's not crap on t-nation and/or biotest. Yes their products aren't fancy "super creations" (notice the sarcasim) like some companies here and few and far between do their articles dissappoint but it blows the content of this forum and some articles here out of the water

[Lonny]

Let's not crap on t-nation and/or biotest. Yes their products aren't fancy "super creations" (notice the sarcasim) like some companies here and few and far between do their articles dissappoint but it blows the content of this forum and some articles here out of the water

Are you kidding? I can't tell if the entire post is sarcasm.

[bigpump23]

Are you kidding? I can't tell if the entire post is sarcasm.

no it was serious, attack it if you want

[MetalMikeXVI]

no it was serious, attack it if you want

I would agree with you. I attribute this to T-nation's goals. BB.com is for bodybuilding, and pretty much only bodybuilding. Sure, the forums and articles have a nice little powerlifting section, but for all intensive purposes it's a bodybuilding website (thus the name). T-nation is more focused on issues and programs pertaining to male development, which of course, is a much broader agenda, allowing for more variety in articles.

T-nation regularly puts out serious articles containing solid programs, and various other articles that are more humor-based, which I feel is always good. I just think T-nation has more to work with and go off of, while BB.com has to beat bodybuilding to death (there's only so many supersetting options you can discuss, etc.)

Besides, who can argue with that "Powerful Images" section (at least today!)

[Lonny]

no it was serious, attack it if you want

Will do.

Take into consideration that this is coming from someone who has followed biotest since 2000, and watched the decline of the website growing more distant as the articles become less and less applicable weekly.

First the supplements. Grow bars came and went, tasted like crap, but did have a good profile and were exactly what Biotest wanted to create aside from not making any money on them. These new metabolic drive bars look like the same bars they have trashed for the 6 years preceeding their release. Sugar, and Hydrolized Collagen, and low protein content are necessary for a good tasting bar though most of their readers probably weren't around for their weekly bashing of the "typical candy bar".

I see they have re-released Methoxy-7 to a new generation of people to be ripped off by this "hardening agent". It's in pill form now though so they can't fall back on "people aren't taking enough". I guess its an improvement over the cholesterol delivery system this product had before it was Hydroxy.

Flameout- looks like a decent product, only took them about 5 years of development to source good quality fish oil and CLA.

I have no problem with most of the training and diet stuff. A lot of their writers are good, some even great. But some of the articles are just laughable. Ghost Dog was usually really good and was an easy replacement for reading the magazines. Ghost Wolf is just an attempt to criticize any article that will possibly lead to being able to reference one of their products.

I can keep going but i sound like a broken record as i've posted most of this in other biotest threads.

To sum it all up, its great that people use T-mag, and its a tremendous starting point for most newbies. But Biotest doesn't encourage any sort of growth outside of the site. A site that is heavily moderated to prevent anyone speaking in any sort of negative way about biotest, or even just positively about other companies. And most members of "T-Nation" would benefit a great deal from leaving this comfort zone.

[Kledz]

i didnt' know they came in tubes??!?!? is it like a toothpaste tube?



The celltech i've seen always came in tubs....

Well you have to keister it to get it into the prison in the first place, everyone knows that.

[Kledz]

But seriously, as I was reading that article, a little piece of me died.

LOL, valid description.

[CanadaBBOY]

Will do.

Take into consideration that this is coming from someone who has followed biotest since 2000, and watched the decline of the website growing more distant as the articles become less and less applicable weekly.

First the supplements. Grow bars came and went, tasted like crap, but did have a good profile and were exactly what Biotest wanted to create aside from not making any money on them. These new metabolic drive bars look like the same bars they have trashed for the 6 years preceeding their release. Sugar, and Hydrolized Collagen, and low protein content are necessary for a good tasting bar though most of their readers probably weren't around for their weekly bashing of the "typical candy bar".

I see they have re-released Methoxy-7 to a new generation of people to be ripped off by this "hardening agent". It's in pill form now though so they can't fall back on "people aren't taking enough". I guess its an improvement over the cholesterol delivery system this product had before it was Hydroxy.

Flameout- looks like a decent product, only took them about 5 years of development to source good quality fish oil and CLA.

I have no problem with most of the training and diet stuff. A lot of their writers are good, some even great. But some of the articles are just laughable. Ghost Dog was usually really good and was an easy replacement for reading the magazines. Ghost Wolf is just an attempt to criticize any article that will possibly lead to being able to reference one of their products.

I can keep going but i sound like a broken record as i've posted most of this in other biotest threads.

To sum it all up, its great that people use T-mag, and its a tremendous starting point for most newbies. But Biotest doesn't encourage any sort of growth outside of the site. A site that is heavily moderated to prevent anyone speaking in any sort of negative way about biotest, or even just positively about other companies. And most members of "T-Nation" would benefit a great deal from leaving this comfort zone.

TrafficOWNED!

Good post Lonny.

[1-Testosterone]

[QUOTE=Lonny]Will do.

Flameout- looks like a decent product, only took them about 5 years of development to source good quality fish oil and CLA.

QUOTE]

SAN also released something special called VOLUMASS after so many years of R & D!

[dirtydean12]

"In prison, people tend to treat the weights with respect because, like your cherry, if you break it you lose it"

aint that the truth....rotflmfao

[Lonny]

[QUOTE=1-Testosterone]

Will do.

Flameout- looks like a decent product, only took them about 5 years of development to source good quality fish oil and CLA.

QUOTE]

SAN also released something special called VOLUMASS after so many years of R & D!

Did SAN talk about releasing Volumass for years beforehand? Did they actually spend a lot of money sourcing and producing the ingredients? Though i honestly don't remember, i highly doubt it.

Did you follow Biotest for the past 5 years where at least once a month they would talk about their new groundbreaking FFA supplement?
How it would be released soon and make all other FFA supps obselete, and that their shaman who swam with the salmon of the Atlantic Ocean was eaten by sharks which put the progress on hold, but during that period they found a different shaman who had discovered a brand new breed of salmon, but something this good comes at a price and thus it will be expensive. But you get what you pay for.

But feel free to bring SAN into this. I mean I wasn't around when most of their products were released but i'll try my best to defend them and in doing so i will most certainly make any Biotest defender look like an idiot.

[Lurker 501]

..... their shaman who swam with the salmon of the Atlantic Ocean was eaten by sharks which put the progress on hold, but during that period they found a different shaman who had discovered a brand new breed of salmon, .....

Good one! The shark ate our shaman, causing product delay! LOL

[daveburton]

[QUOTE=1-Testosterone]

Will do.

Flameout- looks like a decent product, only took them about 5 years of development to source good quality fish oil and CLA.

QUOTE]

SAN also released something special called VOLUMASS after so many years of R & D!

Give Lonny a break, Volumass is just another whey product every supplement company needs to sell. Without a basic whey supplement can you even be called a supplement company?