stay at home moms?

[mommyfisc]

are there any stay at home moms out there? do you understand working out? eating healthy? taking care of toddlers? cleaning up dog puke? making a home cooked meal for the family? doing house chores? doing daily laundry? potty training? having a smile on your face when your husband walks through the door? the joys of finishing all your house work just to use the bathroom for 3 mins alone and then seeing that during that sort time all the toys have been pulled out of the bedrooms and back into the living room? do you live this life now? are you a wife and mom and stuck at home? i want to connect with you i need friends like you in my life other moms who are working towards body transformation and the endless joys of family life and the reality of marriage and all the things that people forgot to tell you about what it was really going to be like.....

[freebirdmac]

Why just stay at home moms? Working moms have to cram in all that crap after work and on weekends. Sounds more like you just need some adult conversation. Which is normal as you're in a somewhat isolated status right now.

[bttrthnb4]

Not me, lol....at least not yet. I have a great desire to be a stay-at-home mom one day. But in the meantime, you might look up BuffMother. I think she's a SAH-mom and has a beautiful figure...and I have no doubt there are plenty of other moms here who can help you. Don't give up!

[HappySnowBunny]

I'm a stay at home mom. No nice figure though. Toddler, cats, dog....the works.

[mommyfisc]

Originally Posted by freebirdmac

Why just stay at home moms? Working moms have to cram in all that crap after work and on weekends. Sounds more like you just need some adult conversation. Which is normal as you're in a somewhat isolated status right now.

true working moms are encouraged to respond...... yeah adult conversation is always great but ...i know working moms have to do all that too but you do get a break/a change in environment even if it doesn't feel that way...if you have ever not worked outside the home ...sigh it is hard to explain it isn't that i am isolated....it is just a season that i am in right now once my kids get into school i will have so much to do out side the home sports...school events..ect. but i am isolated in the sense that i am not interacting with other people my age ....which is why i posted. because even though i love my place right now i still have fitness goals and i plan on reaching them and it would be cool to meet and encourage other women who are trying to reach thier goals too....i have trouble relateing to many women because...lol well i am isolated and at home a lot i already know that i am not alone so i must have this in common with someone out there??? sigh i hope that came out right?

[HappySnowBunny]

Originally Posted by mommyfisc

i know working moms have to do all that too but you do get a break/a change in environment even if it doesn't feel that way...

This is exactly what I try to get my hubby to understand on a regular basis. It *is* hard not having any change or break...or day off...or weekend....holiday...

[mommyfisc]

Originally Posted by HappySnowBunny

I'm a stay at home mom. No nice figure though. Toddler, cats, dog....the works.

lol i don't have a nice figure right now either...i am back up to almost 30%bf i wish i had the same energy as the kids i have a 2 yr old and a 3 yr old

[mommyfisc]

Originally Posted by HappySnowBunny

This is exactly what I try to get my hubby to understand on a regular basis. It *is* hard not having any change or break...or day off...or weekend....holiday...

exactly ----thank you!!!! i just worked this deal out with him where i get to ge grocery shopping withouit him and both kids...i thought we wer on the same page right? well the last two weekends he stayed home with only one kid....sigh well it was still a break..... and i was thankful.....how old is your tot?

[freebirdmac]

Originally Posted by mommyfisc

true working moms are encouraged to respond...... yeah adult conversation is always great but ...i know working moms have to do all that too but you do get a break/a change in environment even if it doesn't feel that way...if you have ever not worked outside the home ...sigh it is hard to explain it isn't that i am isolated....it is just a season that i am in right now once my kids get into school i will have so much to do out side the home sports...school events..ect. but i am isolated in the sense that i am not interacting with other people my age ....which is why i posted. because even though i love my place right now i still have fitness goals and i plan on reaching them and it would be cool to meet and encourage other women who are trying to reach thier goals too....i have trouble relateing to many women because...lol well i am isolated and at home a lot i already know that i am not alone so i must have this in common with someone out there??? sigh i hope that came out right?

That's exactly what I meant. Your brain can turn to Telly Tubbie jelly. That's why it's great to incorporate plain old adult contact. It'd be too easy to fall into the commiseration routine with other stay at home moms. While that's good on occasion, what you need is talk other than kids, cleaning, and laundry. You're not a toddler, your kids are

[mommyfisc]

Originally Posted by freebirdmac

That's exactly what I meant. Your brain can turn to Telly Tubbie jelly. That's why it's great to incorporate plain old adult contact. It'd be too easy to fall into the commiseration routine with other stay at home moms. While that's good on occasion, what you need is talk other than kids, cleaning, and laundry. You're not a toddler, your kids are

lol... your kids must be grown?

[freebirdmac]

Originally Posted by HappySnowBunny

This is exactly what I try to get my hubby to understand on a regular basis. It *is* hard not having any change or break...or day off...or weekend....holiday...

Men act like they are afraid of kids, or lazy. And will sometimes act incompetent as heck to not take care of the kids while mom goes out alone. Working women have that same problem. We come home and the kids are ours, plus all the other household crap.

You pretty much have to stand up and demand your time. But make it a fair fight. This isn't something to be addressed while angry. You also have to be prepared to let dad do things his way rather than yours. Men do have a different way of dealing with kids. It may make you cringe, but it's just a different, male way of doing things. Sometimes we contribute to their sense of inferiority by insisting that the kids and even the house are handled our way.

[freebirdmac]

Originally Posted by mommyfisc

lol... your kids must be grown?

Nah, mine is 16. Telly Tubbies came after her. I had to deal with #%& Barney!

I had the honor of doing it all. Hubby died when my daughter was 10 weeks old. So I know all about doing everything and being on call 24/7.

Life is a balancing act. Everyone has some type and number of balls in the air. The important thing for you is to get time off and just be a woman. Not a wife or a mom, just an intelligent woman.

[AMYKBLUE]

Originally Posted by mommyfisc

are there any stay at home moms out there? do you understand working out? eating healthy? taking care of toddlers? cleaning up dog puke? making a home cooked meal for the family? doing house chores? doing daily laundry? potty training? having a smile on your face when your husband walks through the door? the joys of finishing all your house work just to use the bathroom for 3 mins alone and then seeing that during that sort time all the toys have been pulled out of the bedrooms and back into the living room? do you live this life now? are you a wife and mom and stuck at home? i want to connect with you i need friends like you in my life other moms who are working towards body transformation and the endless joys of family life and the reality of marriage and all the things that people forgot to tell you about what it was really going to be like.....

I hear ya mommyfisc! That's me to the T! Except for the dog part, I have a cat. Just got finished with potty training last summer. I have a 4 and soon to be 3 year old. You sound so much like me. In the same situation. I'm trying to transform my body. Meanwhile having my hubby try to sabatoge me eating snickers bars, donuts, bringing junk food in the house. He doesn't have to lose weight. Are you going to a gym or working out at home?

[HappySnowBunny]

Originally Posted by freebirdmac

Men act like they are afraid of kids, or lazy. And will sometimes act incompetent as heck to not take care of the kids while mom goes out alone. Working women have that same problem. We come home and the kids are ours, plus all the other household crap.

You pretty much have to stand up and demand your time. But make it a fair fight. This isn't something to be addressed while angry. You also have to be prepared to let dad do things his way rather than yours. Men do have a different way of dealing with kids. It may make you cringe, but it's just a different, male way of doing things. Sometimes we contribute to their sense of inferiority by insisting that the kids and even the house are handled our way.

You have to know how much I snickered at the mention of their sense of inferiority. It just hit me funny like that. Silly men and their inferiority complex.

I do let him take the lead on weekends. It's easy with the teenagers, but my toddler is very clingy at the moment. She makes things quite complicated. As far as getting out and going somewhere...I have no friends locally. Grocery store is about as exciting as I get these days. We're trying to save up for a long move which eliminates shopping trips for now. That makes it really frustrating and sad for me. I love to shop.

And I don't think the incompetance is entirely an act. *lol*

Nah, mine is 16. Telly Tubbies came after her. I had to deal with #%& Barney!

I had the honor of doing it all. Hubby died when my daughter was 10 weeks old. So I know all about doing everything and being on call 24/7.

Life is a balancing act. Everyone has some type and number of balls in the air. The important thing for you is to get time off and just be a woman. Not a wife or a mom, just an intelligent woman.

Barney scarred me for life. I have the worst of all. Mine are 17, 14 and 3 so all the new annoying shows I get to endure all over again, as well as the fact that Barney is STILL on! I'd cry if I didn't laugh about the whole thing. Good thing I love disney movies.

I cannot imagine how painful and difficult it was to lose your husband when your daughter was so young. (or losing hubby at all for that matter).

Loved what you've said here about not getting bogged in the misery and reminder that we're not the toddlers. It's an excellent thing to remember, in fact. I do forget that I'm a separate entity from my little girl (she tries to make me forget it on a moment to moment basis...boys are SO much easier).

i just worked this deal out with him where i get to ge grocery shopping withouit him and both kids...i thought we wer on the same page right? well the last two weekends he stayed home with only one kid....sigh well it was still a break..... and i was thankful.....how old is your tot?

The tot is 3 1/2 and she's incredibly strong willed. I totally get the grocery thing. It's sad when that becomes the most enjoyable outing of the week. Actually, I lie. I enjoy grocery shopping. I love the produce section. Weird, but I blame sesame street. How old are yours?

[MAANGER]

Originally Posted by HappySnowBunny

You have to know how much I snickered at the mention of their sense of inferiority. It just hit me funny like that. Silly men and their inferiority complex.

I do let him take the lead on weekends. It's easy with the teenagers, but my toddler is very clingy at the moment. She makes things quite complicated. As far as getting out and going somewhere...I have no friends locally. Grocery store is about as exciting as I get these days. We're trying to save up for a long move which eliminates shopping trips for now. That makes it really frustrating and sad for me. I love to shop.

And I don't think the incompetance is entirely an act. *lol*



Barney scarred me for life. I have the worst of all. Mine are 17, 14 and 3 so all the new annoying shows I get to endure all over again, as well as the fact that Barney is STILL on! I'd cry if I didn't laugh about the whole thing. Good thing I love disney movies.

I cannot imagine how painful and difficult it was to lose your husband when your daughter was so young. (or losing hubby at all for that matter).

Loved what you've said here about not getting bogged in the misery and reminder that we're not the toddlers. It's an excellent thing to remember, in fact. I do forget that I'm a separate entity from my little girl (she tries to make me forget it on a moment to moment basis...boys are SO much easier).





The tot is 3 1/2 and she's incredibly strong willed. I totally get the grocery thing. It's sad when that becomes the most enjoyable outing of the week. Actually, I lie. I enjoy grocery shopping. I love the produce section. Weird, but I blame sesame street. How old are yours?

I have to agree with you on loving my grocery store outings. I kind of feel like a weirdo without a hobbie when I say that..haha, but for some reason I love going grocery shopping and especially love picking out all of my produce, but I almsot always take my 2 girls, which is hard sometimes because they are 2 and 4. So I make a special trip to a whole foods store that has little kid carts and get them as involved as I can, I let my 4 year old pick out her own priduce that looks good to her. then I give her seperate money and let her pay herself. She LOVES it, so even though it can be hard, I feel like im teaching her something.. She thinks she is completely awesome doing it on her own, and looks around to see how many people are watching her shop, Hilarious.

[TurbulentFluid]

I'm glad I found this thread, it set my mind on a bit less nasty road... my mom was (is, actually) a business woman and managed work, business trips, politics, the kid (me), family life and social life all at one go. Worked, too. Sure she didn't see any of my games or school plays, but she was always there when it counted. I myself work too (even tho I'm not really a family type). But if I ever DO get stuck with a family, SOH mom is DEFINITELY what I'd never do.

My aunt, however, is a SOH mom, and she's - well, freaking out and acting as if she has Soooo much to do and Noooo rest and all, and we all belittle her for working the LEAST of us all. Also the husband leaves everything to her as she's "always at home and does nothing anyway, so she might as well take care of kids".

I see how wrong I was now... However it still puzzles me. If she (and you guys) stay at home all day and deal with nothing but kids and household stuff, how come you can't find any company? (Grown - up conversation, as it were?) I know if you're spending most of your day either alone or with kids, or worse, with toddlers, you're about to suffer some serious brain damage, but don't you guys get out or something...? Mingle with other SOH moms...? Yeah maybe I'm naive here...

[rach021]

Yep, that's me! I have a daughter who will be 2 in April and needless to say she is DEFINITELY acting like the terrible 2's and I just had a son in January.

Going to the gym is the way I stay sane

[HappySnowBunny]

Originally Posted by TurbulentFluid

... However it still puzzles me. If she (and you guys) stay at home all day and deal with nothing but kids and household stuff, how come you can't find any company? (Grown - up conversation, as it were?) I know if you're spending most of your day either alone or with kids, or worse, with toddlers, you're about to suffer some serious brain damage, but don't you guys get out or something...? Mingle with other SOH moms...? Yeah maybe I'm naive here...

Speaking for myself, we've not lived here all that long and I have no family at all (other than hubby/kids i mean)and his family lives far away...so to be blunt, there's no one around for me to talk to. I have made no friends here (not for not trying...) so there's no mingling when everyone around is...well..not friendly. It's a very long story, but that's the basic gist of it.

[norinicole]

Wow. I am so glad I found this thread. Lol, here goes:

I went back to work early because I was going crazy without any adult conversation, and I had a great job waiting for me. The father of my son was no help at all which didn't help the situation either. It's amazing what a mental shift it is from being home and being at work. Granted, my work isn't too demanding, and I'm lucky in the fact that I don't have to take my work home with me. I am also a single mom now, so I don't have a choice in staying home.

When I was at home, I reconnected with an old friend who had a baby about 5 months older than my son. She was my LIFESAVER. I would not have survived without being able to have a listening ear and a place to go have coffee and let the kids play. I think what some moms might not understand is that there are mom&tot play groups, community groups, but you're not necessarily going to connect with them. Everyone has different parenting styles.

So not only are you trying to find someone that you can hang out with (make sure your personalities match), you're also looking for someone who has the same outlook on parenting. There's no way I will spend time with another mom who I wouldn't let watch my son. There are some issues that I will not compromise on.

To the op: we are here for each other. It's so difficult to make a lifestyle change without putting husbands, kids, jobs, friends, families, etc into the mix. That's why this place is so wonderful

[ugachick]

WEll I am not a SAHM but I am a working mom. I have four kids, three girls ages 10, 8 and 13 months old. I have one son who is three. I work, take care of the fam, try to exercise, eat right, keep up the marriage with hubby, play tennis twice a week and throw in some sleep somewhere in there!! LOL

I could use some mommy friends for sure during my transformation....

Traci

[amy78]

I am a stay at home Mom. I have a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old. I find it very hard to be home, but when I think of being at work and away from my kids, I remember to be greatful.
On the other hand, it is very lonely at times. I am originally from the US and live overseas now, so most my friends growing up are still there. I have not really made any friends here with kids.
I exercise 6 days a week, take kids everywhere, clean, etc etc. It can be tough!
It would be nice to have friends to have coffee with, hang with, etc...

[TurbulentFluid]

Sounds nasty... Now I'm 100% sure I'll NEVER be a SOH mom, if I mess up and BECOME a mum!!

[Mrs.S]

I am a mom of three 9,5,& a 4 year old going on 21 oh and a hubby oh wait and a mother in law that is staying with us for now lol. I love being at home with the kids but on the other hand i miss going to work and coming home with the pay check. My husband always says he could never do what i do and there is not enough money in the world to pay me what i deserve. I get the kids off to school hit the gym I love being in the gym in the morning starting off my day in a place that is like a second home to me. It has become such routine that the kids know when we go no questions asked. Now going to the gym is a date night for my husband and I. I love when he hits the pull up bar(yummy).

[mojobig]

This is a great thread! I am so glad you started it! Just reading it is a little comforting :-) I am a military spouse, so I am away from my friends and family. I am in a transition right now; the boys are 10 and 15.
I can relate to the isolation, but with so much work to be done (esp when they are very young and not in school at all), it is hard to find the time to participate in anything "extra" :-)

btw, when mine were small, if I left hubby with the kids for 2 hours to run errands, invariably the house would be trashed. I think he would let them do whatever they wanted so he could have peace...

[Julie5150]

I'm another Sahm...no nice figure, either...working on that.

Yep, understand you completely. I swear we all can probably just communicate our problems telepathically 'cause we all have to put up with the same crap.

We have 4 kids - and we live 2 hrs from nowhere (as I like to say) ... we moved out to the country 3 years ago and I've regreted it ever since.
Forums are my only communication with other adults...I can't even talk to my husband, anymore - he's swallowed up in his own problems and work.

F*ck the laundry and dishes, I say - bum out for a while and do something fun!
Don't shirk it for too long, though, aint no one else going to do it for you and you'll just hate the catch-up...I'm in month 5 of shirking my duties ... I didn't follow my own advice and I still haven't found my old strength and willpower, yet.

[johnrich69]

Originally Posted by mommyfisc

are there any stay at home moms out there? do you understand working out? eating healthy? taking care of toddlers? cleaning up dog puke? making a home cooked meal for the family? doing house chores? doing daily laundry? potty training? having a smile on your face when your husband walks through the door? the joys of finishing all your house work just to use the bathroom for 3 mins alone and then seeing that during that sort time all the toys have been pulled out of the bedrooms and back into the living room? do you live this life now? are you a wife and mom and stuck at home? i want to connect with you i need friends like you in my life other moms who are working towards body transformation and the endless joys of family life and the reality of marriage and all the things that people forgot to tell you about what it was really going to be like.....

I've been holding down this role for the past year and a half. w/ my (now) 4yr old son. So feel free to add me to your friends list. Johnny

[IronCamp]

I'm not a SAHM either, but I am a single, working mom to a 2.5 year old (w/no involvement physically or financially from the biological father)!

I feel my adult interaction is very limited, although I do go to work M-F. it's not like I am chatting it up with anyone special at work. I don't really interact with many people at work at all. Then I go home to my daughter and well, the only adult interaction I get is that guy dressed up as the purple dinosaur....so I understand!

[MAANGER]

Originally Posted by mojobig

btw, when mine were small, if I left hubby with the kids for 2 hours to run errands, invariably the house would be trashed. I think he would let them do whatever they wanted so he could have peace...

I HAVE SO BEEN THERE! iTS MAZING HOW QUICK THE HOUSE CAN JUST GET WRECKED, BUT HEY, AT LEAST THEY ARE HAVING FUN...RIGHT!

Originally Posted by Julie5150

F*ck the laundry and dishes, I say - bum out for a while and do something fun!
Don't shirk it for too long, though, aint no one else going to do it for you and you'll just hate the catch-up...I'm in month 5 of shirking my duties ... I didn't follow my own advice and I still haven't found my old strength and willpower, yet.

This was hilarious! Im still laughing! I know how that is when you say, "oh just screw that chore today, and then its twice as hard the next day to make up for it.

I have a lot of respect for all of the working moms on here that are doing double duty. That must be a lot of work to manage work and finding time with your kids, and time for yourself (if you get any!)

[mommyfisc]

Originally Posted by AMYKBLUE

I hear ya mommyfisc! That's me to the T! Except for the dog part, I have a cat. Just got finished with potty training last summer. I have a 4 and soon to be 3 year old. You sound so much like me. In the same situation. I'm trying to transform my body. Meanwhile having my hubby try to sabatoge me eating snickers bars, donuts, bringing junk food in the house. He doesn't have to lose weight. Are you going to a gym or working out at home?

we have equipment outside that we use..at home but it needs to be updated...waiting on tax returns....

Originally Posted by TurbulentFluid

I'm glad I found this thread, it set my mind on a bit less nasty road... my mom was (is, actually) a business woman and managed work, business trips, politics, the kid (me), family life and social life all at one go. Worked, too. Sure she didn't see any of my games or school plays, but she was always there when it counted. I myself work too (even tho I'm not really a family type). But if I ever DO get stuck with a family, SOH mom is DEFINITELY what I'd never do.

My aunt, however, is a SOH mom, and she's - well, freaking out and acting as if she has Soooo much to do and Noooo rest and all, and we all belittle her for working the LEAST of us all. Also the husband leaves everything to her as she's "always at home and does nothing anyway, so she might as well take care of kids".

I see how wrong I was now... However it still puzzles me. If she (and you guys) stay at home all day and deal with nothing but kids and household stuff, how come you can't find any company? (Grown - up conversation, as it were?) I know if you're spending most of your day either alone or with kids, or worse, with toddlers, you're about to suffer some serious brain damage, but don't you guys get out or something...? Mingle with other SOH moms...? Yeah maybe I'm naive here...

i also have a 6 yr old who lives with her dad in colorado she lived with me when she was younger and i was a sahm and we would do story time at the library and we did mops and various mommy groups around town but now we live in the country and we only have one vehicle and the few people i have met have been from church and they all live far from me....your right that us moms could just mingle and find activies but sometimes the trade off for being at home is one income and one vehicle so for right now it is an impossibility so i turn to online support but even then it can be hard....most moms don't want to get serious about working out ...thats why i turned here moms who juggle life kids hubby and want to work out seriously!!?? is this too good to be true?

[strongforgood]

I'm a stay at home mom with 11 and 13 year old kids. It gets easier!

To me, the hardest part of getting back in reasonable shape was allowing my health (physical and mental) to be a priority. As you said, parenting is 24/7, and there are always a million other things you feel you need to do. You have to claim the time, and understand that you will get payback in terms of energy, clarity and longevity.

Best wishes to all of you. It's the most important job in the world.